DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Animorphs, Mertil, Gafinalan, or Mr. DeGroot. I do own Kaetila and Daisy DeGroot however.

This fic is based off of book #40, The Other

I rewrote this chapter because looking back and reading it, I didn't like the first one. :P

In case you read this and other chapters don't make sense - I'm going through and editing so yeah, they might not. : ) Sorry for the inconvenience and I should have the editing done soon for ya!

Chapter One - Mertil's Wish

Gafinalan held back the moan of pain. I could see it in his eyes, in the way his face tightened at the very corners. I reached out a hand, to touch my friend's cheek, and he slapped it away in anger. I cringed.

His main eyes had closed and he opened them again. (I...I'm sorry, my friend,) he said softly. I eyesmiled sadly. (I...I just do not wish to be - )

(I know. Forgive me.) I said, getting up and pouring hot water from the tap into a bowl. I got a few small cloths together and went back to him and set them before him.

Gafinalan's eyes looked down at them, wearily. (Thank you my friend.) He picked up one, dipping it in the hot water, and then massaging joints with it. His nose huffed out air.

My hearts ached for my friend.

The disease was strange. Some days, there was great pain. Some days there could be no pain at all. But I was always there, always. I would never leave my friend. Not after he had been true to me through it all.

I took up another cloth and gently pressed it to his forehead, knowing he probably had a tension headache. He sighed and closed his eyes, relaxing his head back a little, and letting me gently massage his forehead with it.

(Th-thank you my friend...) he spoke softly and I eyesmiled again.

I had never, would never, love anyone as much as I loved my most beloved friend Gafinalan. I would never have a closer friend. I would never...

My hearts were in so much pain suddenly and I didn't know why. I suppose...just looking at him...just thinking 'I will never...' Looking at his muscles, once so tight and great, now clinging to his body so weakly, almost as if they'd rather just melt off of his bones. He was running less, exercising less, and so his muscles, technically, were just wearing off.

I dropped the rag, hurrying out of the room, and out the back door, not into the greenhouse, but into the enclosed yard.

(Mertil!) he cried.

I threw up, dry heaving really, onto the grass, and then I fell to my knees, trembling with the pain in me. I wished so much then that I was human, so that I could cry without shame. I was so tired of this! So tired of this game! This pretending that everything was...alright! That I was fine with this! That I would be able to let go of him...just like that.

(Mertil?) he called again, worried. Oh no! He had gotten himself up, to come out here, just for me.

I felt angry then. It always went back to feeling sorry for him! Feeling pity for him, when with the morph of an Andalite, the simple motion of morphing another, healthy body and staying that way, he and I could live together...Enjoy life together.

(I...hate you!) I cried, trembling, not caring if I looked weak. I was weak; what difference did it make if I looked it?

(Mertil...) he said softly, sadly. He trotted up to me, and then lowered himself, to rest his body by mine. I felt his flank press to mine in a comforting gesture only shared by the closest of friends among my people. He reached up a hand to playfully squeeze one of my eyestalks, as he had usually done when we were Arisths at the Academy, to get my attention.

I eyesmiled at him. (Forgive me.) I said. (There is no point in being angry with you.)

In truth, it didn't really matter if he morphed another Andalite, because they would never accept it. Our foolish people I had once thought so great and so proud, would never accept it. They would never accept us; a nothlit for life, and a morph-incapable vecol. I merely wished, however, for my friend at least, to be free from his disease. To live somehow.

(Let us go back inside.) Gafinalan told me. (It is getting dark.)

(Yes...) I agreed.

Wordlessly, I helped him stand and then we slowly went back into the house.