Chapter One: An Invitation

Lower Elements Police Operations Booth

Haven

February 4

"SHORT!!!"

Holly rushed into the Op Booth, holstering her weapon and trying to fix her helmet hair at the same time. "Captain Short, reporting," she gasped.

Commander Root, looking a lovely shade of deep magenta and smoking a large fungus cigar, looked up from a desk full of papers. "It's about time," he growled. "How did the goblin mission go? Was Darius all right?"

Holly rolled her eyes and made a guttural sound somewhere between a groan and a sigh. Darius Jarg was the new heartthrob of the LEPrecon. He was the most handsome warlock in the LEP and, at only 78 years old, also the youngest. You can't judge a book by its cover, though. He was one of the most idiotic officers the force had ever admitted, scoring a whopping 42.3 on the required IQ test. His grandfather, however, was the head Chairman of War for Frond's army, so he was guaranteed a spot wherever he wanted it.

Holly, of course, had nothing but the deepest contempt for Darius. He was one of her rookies, and constantly got in the stickiest situations that usually required Holly's assistance in getting him out. It didn't help that Darius was a major flirt, and as Holly didn't fall all over him, he always went out of his way for her. Just thinking about him made Holly put her head down on the table and let out a low groan.

Foaly clopped out from behind one of the many plasma screens, his hairy arms full of spark plugs and a few uneaten carrots. "You know," he quipped, "you could switch Darius the Flirt out of Holly's troupe. He is a moron." The elf in question hit her head against the table. The centaur winced. "It would certainly make her life a little easier."

"He would never agree to it," she said, depressed. She slammed her head against the table again.

"Will you please stop doing that?" demanded Foaly.

"Sorry," she apologized. He trotted back behind the plasma screens and Holly bashed her head on the tabletop again.

She turned to the commander. "He was fine alright, but only after I pulled him out of the pit of chute slugs." She sighed. "He is a danger to the force, Commander. Why won't you just throw him out?"

The commander gave her a stern look. "You know his political standings, Captain. I couldn't throw him out without having an uprising on my hands." He sat down in a swivel chair and leaned back, his hands behind his head. "But I could assign him street duty for a few years."

Holly was opening her mouth to agree when a young sprite stuck her head in the door. "Commander Root?" she said pertly. "There's a message for you on the Circuit."

"Thank you, Lowry," he replied. She nodded and left. The commander turned to his portable laptop and opened the Circuit. The Circuit was a private LEP email and instant messaging system and yet another one of Foaly's proudest inventions.

Holly used the time the Commander took to log in to think more about Darius. He was a problem, no doubt about it. But would street patrol really solve it? What he really needed was a good 50 years in jail next to a really smelly troll. But on what charges? Maybe she could-

"What the… Foaly? GET IN HERE!!!" Holly shot out of her seat and had her Neutrino out of its holster before she remembered that they were in a secured tech booth and no one in their right mind would storm the LEP.

"FOALY!? Why do I have an email from FOWL in my supposedly 'secure' Circuit inbox???"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Holly, Root and Foaly all stood around the small portable laptop and stared blankly at the screen. In a lightly blue tinted inbox, a dark gold unread message stood out. The sender was "Artemis Fowl II" and the subject was "You have been Invited."

"What in Frond's name…?" breathed Holly. She turned to the centaur. "How could he send the Commander an email on a private internal system?"

Foaly just blinked at her. "How should I know how that crooked little mind of his works? When considering Artemis Fowl, it's best to just accept that the impossible can and will happen." He snorted and then smirked conceitedly. "And it is impossible, I might add. The Circuit's network is entirely secure and impenetrable. "

"Well, not anymore apparently," Root growled. "See what Fowl wants."

Foaly opened the email and read it aloud:

"Dear Commander Root," he read,

"I have received word about certain festivities that occur during this time in the year underground, namely the LEP's Annual Valentines Festival and the Champagne Ball. I would like to formally invite the LEP to host the festival and its concluding dance at my home, Fowl Manor, instead of the gymnasium at the fitness center in Police Plaza. Seeing as the Valentines Festival starts in two days, I will allow Masters Foaly, Trouble Kelp, Julius Root, and Mulch Diggums and Miss Holly Short to Fowl Manor today or at your earliest convenience. This visit will be to make plans and oversee the arrangements being made.

Please contact me before you arrive on the surface. Butler will be waiting with the limousine.

Yours Sincerely,

Artemis Fowl, Junior"

Foaly finished reading the email and looked at Holly and Root. A moment of complete quiet followed as the occupants of the room stared blankly at each other.

Root was the first to break the silence. "Well, what do we do now?"

Foaly shook his head and turned to the laptop, his fingers scuttling across the keyboard. "What else can we do?" he said over his shoulder. "We'll take up his offer, alright. What have we got to loose?"

Holly groaned. That comment was going to come back and bite them in the butt.

And guess what? She was right.