Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Kingdom Hearts, the story line, the characters, the Disney/Square Enix characters, or anything of that like. All I claim to own is my character, Rayxa.
Grasping at Thin Air
Prologue: In Memoriam
The Castle That Never Was, as per usual, was filled with a foreboding, unsettling silence. It was the type of solitude that sent shivers up my spine, and created cause to ponder every piece of my quiet existence. Or, as I had learned many months ago, my nonexistence. However, existence or nonexistence aside, there was something more ominous than usual about the stillness surrounding the Castle and its stark white halls. Perhaps, it was the realization that the Organization, once fifteen strong, had nearly been sliced in half to a mere eight by some means or another. Or, perhaps, it was something less morbid and more sinister, as if none of the lost members were a concern and were instead mere pawns in some much greater and more significant war. A war requiring an army, but whose soldiers were easily replaced.
With mild indignation, I strut through the halls and broke the silence. Click, clack, my heels echoed down the hall. While I may not have felt strongly for many of the lost Organization members - hell, I hardly had the opportunity to get to know them - the lack of compassion by the remaining members was not only bothersome, but infuriating. As Nobodies, we may supposedly lack 'real' emotions, but that did not mean those feelings were forgotten. At least, every emotion I have felt since arriving here felt just as real as I could ever imagine emotions feeling. So why then, was I one of the few to mourn the departed? Why, deep in my chest, was there an overwhelming tightness at the mere thought of death, their images scattered away in the wind as if they were never there at all?
Memories of Castle Oblivion filled my mind and for a moment, I paused and stared at my feet. Never have I been able to fathom why, only a few short days after my appearance in the Castle That Never Was, I had been order to accompany that group of individuals. It clearly was not a part of the original plan, by no means, as they could not have predicted my appearance. Maybe they had determined my lack of worth and sought to give me some sort of purpose as a Nobody. That, or even then, Saix had seen something in me few others have – my careful attendance, purposeful choice of words, and underhanded glint in my eyes betraying my true intentions – and sought to get rid of me before any trouble could be made against the Organization's purpose or, more probably, his own.
Laughter flew from my lips and I shook my head. Yeah, right, as if I posed a real threat to whatever plan was being concocted in the shadows. What could I do, Cure them all to death? Waste all their resources making Hi Potions and Ethers? It was more likely I would run, or at least cast a continual loop of Barriers to protect myself. But, I had to hand it to him, he was perceptive.
And it wasn't only that I lacked physical power to overpower even the weakest or laziest of the Organization members. At this thought, I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the warmth of my few memories to show themselves. As if on cue, I was transported far from the Castle That Never Was and its stark walls and bleak outdoors. Instead, I could almost taste the freshness of the air and the fragrance of flowers in the breeze. Behind my head, flowers tickled my neck and cheeks and the warmth of the sun was homely in the most nostalgic way. But what I really held on to, really clung to, was the hand holding mine. It was hot and sweaty in my grasp, but I didn't care. The memory was so diametrically different from my current outlook - trusting and tender rather than calculating and suspicious - that I held onto this moment, one presumably from the past. However, as it would be, the tight, strong grasp slacked and was quietly lost as if out of thin air, taking with it the flowers and the sun, and the sweet breeze.
Reopening my eyes, I took a shaky breath in and released the grip I had on the fabric of my black coat. It was my most precious memory, and one of few I had regained in the time I'd been there. At one point, I remember Vexen's curiosity over this, despite not being the only cloudy-memoried person there. I'd wondered why, but I'm afraid I would never get my answer now.
As I began to step forward again, thoughts of the other Organization members ran through my head. There were the many who had been lost, some of whom I'd had the displeasure of viewing firsthand. Marluxia, with ambitions hidden by flowers and scythe, the Graceful Assassin. Larxene, armed with knives, lightning, and a temper, the Savage Nymph. Despite having felt intimidated by both of them, watching their final moments had developed in me a fear of my own demise and greater determination to reach my goal. And then, there were others who had not returned from Castle Oblivion: Zexion, wielder of shadows and illusions, the Cloaked Schemer; Lexaeus, commander of the earth with quiet strength, the Taciturn Stalwart; and, finally, the aforementioned Vexen, the brilliant scientist with domain over ice, the Chilly Academic. I did not know them long, but a pang in my chest had me feeling that despite their shortcoming, their time had been cut too soon.
Most recently, we lost two others, the youngest and most unassuming of the Organization: Roxas and Xion. Both wielded massive keys, weapons that were supposedly necessary to unlock hearts and defeat Heartless most productively. Their loss, although not visibly scarring as Larxene and Marluxia's, caused me much greater pain, between the uncertainty in their disappearances and their youth. Despite not knowing either of them well, I felt drawn to them, especially after the events of Castle Oblivion and encountering that boy.
That boy. I stared up at the ceiling, pondering the brunette I had met in Castle Oblivion. He, too, wielded a massive keyblade. "Curious…" I hummed, pulling my hood down further over my face as I passed the Grey Room, as if to further conceal my presence from whoever may be in there. However, only silence responded, and, with a curious peek into the room, I was greeted with a room empty of presence. With another hum, I continued on my way through the Castle without a second thought.
Despite feeling much more empty and quiet, there were many other members still in the Organization. There was Luxord, controller of time and wagerer of games, the Gambler of Fate; Demyx, the laidback sitar-playing water wielder, the Melodious Nocturne; Xigbar, traverser between realms and master at recon, the Freeshooter; Xaldin, the warrior and tactician harnessing the wind, the Whirlwind Lancer; Saix, the adjutant driven by the moon to seek hearts, the Luna Diviner. There was also Xemnas, the enigmatic master over nothingness and self-proclaimed Superior of the In-Between.
But then, there was Axel. The assassin with motives of his own, the Flurry of Dancing Flames. And, not to mention, the single wrench in my plans. Unconsciously, I began to stomp with greater haste through the empty halls, as if my body was trying to make an excuse for the sudden quicken of my heart that I may or may not still possess. Like Saix, it was as if he could see right through me, although what he saw was very different than what his friend could unravel. He saw me. And the glass façade was cracking, piece by piece, revealing who I truly was but had long since forgotten. More than a wrench, that man was my one anchor to the past. And more than an anchor, he was–
I shook my head, embarrassed by the thought, and continued on.
And then there was I. Briefly, I stopped my pacing to stare out one of the numerous windows lining the otherwise vacant halls. The black world outside was such a stark difference from the white walls within the Castle. And these, both, an even greater difference from the few other worlds I had seen, and, even more so, from the colorful worlds of that boys memories. Jaw tightening, I stared through the glass, my pallid reflection grimacing back.
I am Rayxa: the medic with arcane resolve, the Dubious Practitioner.
Thank you for reading! For those already following/favorited this story, this prologue should look mostly familiar. I added in a couple of other scenes because, though this story was written way back at the end of 2016, I have been toying with the idea and many others for some time. So, I apologize for writing a prologue that went untouched for over two years now. But! By the time THIS is posted, I should already have written a couple chapters to motivate myself (so me of the future, get working!).
Anyway, thanks again and please follow/favorite/review if you like this so far, or have any pieces of constructive criticism to offer! Happy Holidays, everyone!
