Everyone and everything familiar belongs to Janet. The mistakes are mine alone.
"If you don't stop doing that, Babe, I won't be able to leave."
Stephanie's mouth was finding a particular spot on my chest extremely interesting, and the fingers that had been drawing random patterns over my abs were starting to move below my navel again. She scraped her teeth across my rib cage before answering me.
"That's kind of the point. I don't have any FTAs to go after until tonight, so I thought I'd try to tempt you into playing hooky with me for a few more hours."
This is the part I always dread. There's nothing I'd rather do than stay here with her, but I have a trap set and I need to personally collect what's been baited.
"I can't today," I said.
I caught her hand and brought it up to my lips to kiss as I tried to soften the blow of having to leave over staying in bed with her. If it was any other capture, I'd rearrange my day so I could be with her until she had to leave herself. Even then, I'd offer my services to help with her takedown so I wouldn't have to worry about her, but I need to get Packard before he disappears again.
"You're actually choosing work over sex with me?"
"I'm not stupid or crazy, Steph, but I have a personal stake in getting someone picked up. A setup had already been arranged before you invited me over. I wanted to see you, but I also need to see this job through to the end. I will be coming back afterwards to make my absence up to you."
I felt her relax. Having to shift your personal life around the sudden appearance of a skip is something she can understand, but she still didn't like it.
"Who are you after?" She asked. "Anyone I know?"
I hesitated a beat too long and she moved away from me, leaving my body cold.
"You can't tell me anything, can you?" She said.
"It's better if you don't have any specifics in case this guy goes missing again and the police blame me. I'm not putting you in the position to be harassed by Morelli because of me."
"Can I tag along and help do ... something?"
"Your name was already mentioned in connection to him. It's not happening again."
"I understand," she said, forcibly tucking the sheet under her arms, putting a solid barrier between me and the body I'd spent the night kissing, licking, and loving.
"Do you?" I asked.
"Yup. You worry about me as much as I worry about you. We always hit a stalemate when it comes to who wants to protect who more. Since I have no info on your guy, I guess you win this time."
The resigned sound of her voice had my gut reacting. I hate the feeling of being given up on, but I can't see how to change it right now. If Packard gets within a hundred feet of her, he'll use her anyway he can to save himself.
"It'll only count as a win if I get this guy and you still open the door to me when I get back," I told her.
"It's okay, Ranger. I know better than anybody how this goes. I've had to run out on people countless times myself, so I get it. Bounty hunting isn't a nine-to-five job."
"No it's not, but that isn't the point."
She turned her head on the pillow to look at me. "What is?"
"My time is always divided between you and work. I hate to put my job ahead of spending time with you, but I have to for a little while."
"I meant it when I said it's okay."
"I know you did, Babe, but it's not okay. I can't always give you the answers you want ... not because I don't trust you with the information," I explained, when she was getting ready to chew me out for daring to question her loyalty to me. "Some things are too dangerous for you to be involved in."
"Isn't it my decision whether or not I can handle certain ... aspects of your life?"
"Not if it means I get a call saying you're being used to get to me. My thoughts weren't pretty when I found out that Scrog was stalking you as much as me."
"We're even then, because I wasn't real pretty when I watched you get shot in front of me without being able to stop it. Julie was way more in control of herself and her emotions than I was."
She really can gut a man without even trying.
"If I'm finished before you leave to get Diggery again, I'll come with you so you can avoid the cemetery."
"Thanks a lot. And how did you know who I'm after? Connie?"
"Yes. If you're not here, I'll meet up with you in Bordentown?"
She didn't answer me.
"Babe?"
She shrugged. "Sure."
I leaned over and kissed her, knowing Tank's about to head to the skip's stepbrother's house.
"I'll be back," I promised her.
Her lips hinted at a smile. "Yeah ... you and the Terminator."
"No man or machine had better be near you when I do track you down."
"Or what?"
"Whoever it is won't be breathing anymore by the end of business today."
"You can't threaten someone's life because of a night of great sex."
"That's what you think, Steph. I do expect you to be alone unless you've got Diggery in cuffs. And we will resume this conversation so that frown line," I said, running my thumb between her eyebrows, "will go away completely."
"But we can't talk about us in your car on the way to wherever it is you're going?"
"No. I don't want you near him."
I also don't want her to see what's going to happen to him.
"Alright. You're not going alone are you?"
"Tank's watching my back."
"He'd better be watching everything. I like your front even more than I like your back, and I don't want either side hurt."
I gave her a grin over my shoulder as I sat up. "If it was a different FTA, I'd leave Tank's ass at home just so I could watch yours kick some."
"Yeah, right."
I paused in reaching for my pants. "Are we okay?"
"Yep. Sure. Never better."
I don't believe her, but I didn't have time to push the issue. I'll do plenty of pushing in a couple of hours when I can devote all the time to her that she deserves. I got dressed and leaned over the bed to kiss her again. She was clearly reluctant to drop her arms from where they were curled around my neck, but she did a few seconds after our lips broke apart.
"I'll be back before you miss me," I said again.
Her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth, but the phone now buzzing in my pocket didn't give me the option of reassuring her further. I heard what I thought were the words 'I already miss you' before I made it into the hall, but if I went back to her now ... I know I won't be able to leave again. Stephanie always comes first with me, which is why I was at her door ten minutes after she called me, but my men are my responsibility. No one opens fire on any one of them during a capture and lives to brag about it. Packard will pay not only for endangering Hal and Woody, but he'll suffer more for dragging me away from the woman who finally made the first move.
I took the stairs down to the lobby and pushed through the door leading to the back of the lot. Even though I can't do things differently, as I left her building and started walking to my car, doubts began creeping in. Stephanie is the reason I wake up looking forward to my day, and I'm currently in her parking lot instead of in her bed beside her. I take my role as leader of my organization very seriously, and the men I've hired deserve the same respect and dedication that they continually give me, but if Stephanie is hurting emotional ... that's equally unacceptable to me as a calculated attack on my people.
I can feel her eyes tracking my progress from the window by her fire escape. I allowed myself to look back once. As I knew she would be, she was standing in the window wrapped in a sheet, her body framed by her seen-better-days curtains. She was staring straight at me.
As I was about to open the driver's side door of my Cayenne, my hand stopped dead mid-reach. My heart also stilled as I watched her lift up her phone and move her fingers with barely controlled force. My pocket buzzed a beat later.
Still looking at her, I answered her call.
"You'd better keep your perfect behind out of that car."
My mouth went from grim to grinning. "Or what?"
"I can have you stopped and hauled in for something. I have connections, too, you know. I'm sure Juniak can help arrange for you to be picked up and then released into my custody."
"Think that through. Are you really sure you want that kind of trouble?" I asked, not joking at all with my question.
"Yeah ... yeah I do." I could hear the breath she took. "Please."
My instincts had been right again. Leaving this woman, if only for a short time, would be a mistake never to be lived down.
"I've got coffee brewing if you're interested," she added.
"You don't need caffeine to get me up there, Babe. The only draw I need is you."
"That's not what you were telling me a few minutes ago."
"A few minutes ago you were okay with me taking care of business as long as I was coming back."
"I changed my mind," she said.
"And I'm starting to change mine."
"I know this capture means something to you, but I'd like to mean just as much ... if not more."
"You do."
Getting Packard off the streets permanently is necessary, but if I put my anger and need for revenge aside, I can admit that Tank and Bobby can take care of him almost as efficiently as I can. They, however, can't keep this woman interested in me if she decides I'm not worth the wait.
The line was quiet. Then ... "You're coming back up?" She asked.
I paused, but in a comfortable way this time. "Yes. I'll call Tank and have him swing by Rangeman and pick up Brown."
"Really? You'd do that for me?"
"No, Babe. I'm doing this for us."
I can see as well as hear her transformation from unsure to excited. It didn't occur to me until that moment that no one in her life has ever put her before their own needs ... and that needs to be rectified.
"I know I haven't said it outside of my own head," she began, "but I'm terrified that I'm already completely in love with you."
"And you know that I love you, too. Don't worry, we'll get each other through it."
She laughed and all the tension of the last ten minutes evaporated.
"I'm counting on it," she told me. "Call Tank ... and one of you apologize to Bobby for me."
"I will. And, Babe?"
"Yeah?"
"Get back in bed ... and lose the sheet."
"You were just about to leave me to my own devices and now you're telling me what to do?"
"If you'll just agree, I can be up there sooner."
"Good point." And she hung up.
I called Brown first and told him to be ready and then I made alternative arrangements with Tank. If I want a life with Stephanie, I'll have to manage my time better and delegate more. Today seems like a good time to try both out.
There aren't many things I'll put before my job and the men whose loyalty to me and my company help me do what I do well. But Stephanie, her safety, and her mental health, I decided long ago will always come first even if it may require a reminder and a slight change in plans.
