Cain wasn't sure why he had called for Riff to visit him, but thought the answer would come to him soon. He had been thinking a lot recently, and needed to test out his latest theory. To do that, he had to talk to Riff.

His valet entered the room silently, as always. It was a peculiar talent. Cain fought to keep himself form staring at Riff and kept his face unreadable. He patted the seat beside him.

"Why don't you come and talk to me for a while, Riff?" He frowned slightly, to make his request appropriate. "You've been quiet lately, even by your standards. Why don't you tell me what on your mind?"

Will you tell me that it's me?

Cain almost gasped in surprise. There it was again. The voice inside that wouldn't go away. He knew better than to let it show and so watched Riff impassively. After a moment, he nodded and moved to sit beside his master on the window seat, in silence. This wasn't unusual though and so nothing to worry about

A moment of silence passed, during which Cain watched his servant intently, who was stoically avoiding his gaze.

"Why can't you look at me?" He said gently.

Is it because you know what I'm thinking and hate me for it? Is it because you're afraid of what you'll see in my eyes?

Riff started and glanced up. He looked uncomfortable.

"I. . . no reason my lord. I have. . . a slight headache is all."

Cain ignored the disappointment that flooded through him but a small voice insisted that Riff was lying.

He was sure that some evil force had invaded his mind. He had found himself watching Riff closely, waiting for him to say or do something too intimate. Cain knew he was in love, had known for as long as he could remember but he had always been able to fight it back before but now…he was suspecting that Riff felt something too. That made it hard to deal with and ever since, an evil little voice had been nagging at him. It didn't care about scandal or right and wrong, it just wanted the body it inhabited to be held.

"Really?" Cain frowned again, dragging his attention back to the present.. "It's unlike you to be ill. If it persists until tomorrow you can spend the day resting. I don't want you to end up seriously ill." He smirked. Although he didn't feel like it." What use would you be to me then?"

What use would you like to be to me?

"Thank you my lord. That's very kind of you."

Cain shrugged.

Not really. It's not being kind to me

"Riff, tell me something." Cain said slowly, averting his eyes to the floor. He didn't know if he could handle looking at Riff while he asked. "Do you ever feel lonely here?"

"No, of course not." Riff replied instantly. Cain's heart sank. "Everything I need is in this household."

Am I everything you need?

Cain bit his lip to keep from speaking.

"Why do you ask? Do you feel lonely here?" Riff asked quietly.

"No, not really." Cain said slowly, still looking away so that Riff wouldn't see the pain in his eyes. "Except. . . sometimes. You must know what I mean. Sometimes late at night I feel the need for someone to hold me." The implication of his words sank in and he corrected himself quickly. "I don't mean that I've been upset," he added. "You're always there for me when that happens. I just mean. . . in general. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

And if you do, are you thinking of me when you're alone at night?

"Yes my lord." Riff said. Cain ignored the frantic beating of his heart. "I understand perfectly. You require a lady friend?"

Cain shrugged. "Perhaps. I don't really give it much thought."

No thought at all because all of my thoughts are for you

"Of course not."

"Would you ever leave this household, Riff?" Cain asked suddenly. He was wondering if telling Riff how he felt would make any difference whatsoever, the man was so damn indifferent.

"Never, you know I would never leave you. . . and Mary."

"I know." Cain smiled a little. "I just wondered for a moment is all. I need you here with me, Riff."

I need you to remind me that someone as twisted as I am can still feel something beautiful

"I will always be here my lord." He paused and caught Cain's eye. Cain was surprised to see something other than loyalty, but wouldn't allow himself to hope. "Please excuse me my lord, I have duties to attend."

"Naturally." Cain smiled brightly, all traces of softness and worry gone. "I will see you at tea I presume?"

Hopefully by then I'll have decided whether to tell you or not

"Yes sir." Riff said and bowed slightly before leaving the room. Cain watched him as intently as a cat until he was gone.

Riff walked down the corridor slowly, fighting the urge to go back.

Are you looking forward to tea as much as I am, and do you miss me when I'm gone?