AUTHORS NOTE: This is my first Harry and Draco slash, it is straight of the press so to speak, so its not beta read and might not be very good quality. But hey I like it.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry or Draco or anything else related to Harry Potter, they are property of JKR, Time Warner, Bloomsbury and anyone else I forgot to mention. But the plot is mine. No sticky fingers.

RATING: R for slashy thoughts and actions.

NOTE: Thanks to those that previously reviewed this fanfiction. Your comments were valuable and as such I release this revised and updated version. Blue Yeti - Thanks for your info, I have changed the Northern Star from the brightest star to the most Northern and brightest object he could see. Sirius might just not be seen at that time. Say... a cloud was in the way. And as for him resisting more to Hermione patching him up, I put that down to him rejecting the choice to kill himself and put himself more in the path of friendship towards Harry and his family. After all, even if he doesn't like Hermione and Ron, he has been doing things he dislikes all his life without complaining. This should be no different.

Astronomical Emotions

The knife gleamed under the moonlight as he brought it down to his wrist. The darkness surrounding him would be a fitting way to go. Darkness. It was all that he was, everything that he had become. The tallest tower, reaching up to the dark sky at the darkest hour. He shared the same window as a silver telescope, which in itself looked dark and foreboding as moonlight reflected off its metallic surfaces. The knife paused on his pale wrist.

It would be better this way, shrouded in darkness. He thought about pain, whether it would hurt when he slid the blade in, would he scream? In the palm of his waiting hand he held the note to Lucius. Writing it was more painful than a sharp blade could ever be, but then there was a more damaging pain, the type of pain that could only be removed by gouging it out with a sharp blade. He was a failure and failure had to be punished.

A tear rolled down his cheek. He pushed on the blade and he felt the pressure cut into his wrist. There was no pain; just a longing for it all to be overHe took one last look up at the night sky.

Blood trickled down his arm and dripped of his elbow to spinkle crimson on the dusty wooden floor. He cringed and looked straight out of the window up at the brightest star he could see, the Northern Star; it reminded him of the one thing he could never have. It was always there, and was the only thing that never changed, never moved, and was just too far away to get too.

He knew his astronomy pretty well, and he knew that the Northern Star as well as being one of the brightest stars in the night sky, it was a part of a constellation that Draco knew very well.

"Draco." He whispered feeling slightly strange about saying his name out loud.

The constellation Draco, was watching over the powerful Northern Star, also known as The Little Bear. It shone happily, loving the fact it was protected and untouchable from any danger that might come its way. Draco eclipsed it on size, its power and constancy was famous; it showed people the way forward, it showed people how to get home, away from death away from getting lost. It was a savior, and Draco himself, longed to be that saviour's protector no matter what the Little Bear came up against Draco wanted to be the one that kept him safe and out of harms way. The problem was, he didn't think he could the way he was now.

What would happen if Draco was not there to protect the Little Bear? The Little Bear would be swallowed by the blackness, and subjected to all the forces that blackness can throw at it. The Little Bear would be scared, helpless and alone.

Anger welled up inside him.

He could protect the Little Bear.

He would protect the Little Bear.

He threw the knife down and it stuck blade first in the wooden floorboards.

He cried, but this time for The Little Bear. He bled for him. He could see the crimson love running down his hand puddle on the floor.

The door to the Astronomy Tower creaked open and two giggling voices entered a bit too enthusiastically.

"What the…!" A bushy haired shadow exclaimed.

"What the fu…" The other shadow behind her never got the chance to finish as Hermione Granger stepped into the moonlight.

"Malfoy, what the hell are you doing her?" She said too loudly. Hermione looked around trying to find out who, if anyone, Draco was with. Then she saw his puffy eyes and the blood on the floor. Her eyes caught sight of the bloody blade embedded blade first into the wooden floor.

"Oh my god! You didn't?" Her jaw dropped when she saw the blood and her hand covered her mouth in aghast, looking deep black under the moonlight. She felt sorry for the other boy, despite the abus he had given to them over the past years. The desire too kill yourself was proof enough of an unstable mind, and if Draco's mind was unstable as it looked, it might help explain why he was such an asshole all the time.

Draco tried to sneer but he couldn't. He just shook his head. "No. I didn't!"

"This needs to be treated immediately, it's too deep." She reached over and took hold of Malfoy's arm. Without any resistance she examined the wound. "Ron! Give me that blanket!" He held her hand out to the second silent shadow.

Ron Weasley passed the blanket that he was carrying over to Hermione silently. She wrapped it around Draco's arm while Ron found something to divert his attention from the sight that had just ruined his chance for a bit of quality time. That was when he saw the note, place on a chair weighted down with a silver pendant of a dragon. He picked up the letter, letting the pendant slide off the parchment onto the seat. He unfolded the note and read.

Dear Father,

I write this letter as both an apology and as a farewell. As of now I admit betrayal and disgrace of the Malfoy name and family. I never wanted to follow the way of the Dark Arts. I never wanted to join with The Dark Lord. That one day, only one month before I write this letter, I told you of my choice of ally, I could see the disappointment in your eyes, the shame, the dishonour. For what you feel I am truly sorry.
However, my misdeeds do not end there, and that one final misdeed will be my undoing and most distasteful to you. I have fallen in love with the worst kind, with nobility and innocence itself. Father, I have fallen in love with The Chosen One. I would never be able to say this to you in person. But you should know who your son was and why he did what he had to. The knife was yours. The knife that brought death to hundreds of people now brings death to your only son and heir. Long live the Malfoy legacy.

Eternally,

Draco Malfoy

Ron stared at the letter. It was unbelievable, Draco Malfoy, arch nemesis of Harry Potter was committing suicide because he thought he couldn't have the one he loved.

"Harry!" Ron blinked in disbelief.

Draco spun his head round at hearing Ron utter the name of the Little Bear.

"No!" He shouted desperately, that letter was private, he had only intended for teachers and his father to read it. Not the weasle, most definity not the weasle, he would gossip the whole lot to the school and Harry, oh Harry would know, Harry would be mortified that he was loved by him. He reached with his hand to snatch the parchment from Ron's grasp but stopped as pain forced its way up his damaged arm. He dropped resighly to his knees and failed to maintain his composure. Draco Malfoy sobbed.

Ron turned to Hermione.

"Herm." He said calmly and gave her the letter.

She read it twice before her jaw dropped. "My God. Poor Harry"

"WHAT!" Draco fumed. "How dare you…"

"Have you seen Harry? It all makes sense. Malfoy. Harry is not as far from reach as you think."

Indeed not. It all made perfect sense now. Harry was obsessed with Draco, to the point of madness. He would return from lessons and moan about 'Malfoy did this', 'Malfoy did that', 'Why does he have to look like he owns the place?'. The passionate hatred was in fact passionate admiration. The murmurs in the night, the frustration in his voice whenever Malfoy was near, yet so far, it explained the hostility and the power control. Love was a powerful force. And the wind was turning North.