1.

I hurt.

My head hurt. My back hurt. The bones in my hands hurt.

My teeth hurt.

I didn't make any noise. I wanted to. But I was the wife of great Hector of Ilium. And... I was afraid it would hurt more if I made a noise...

Someone didn't agree with me. I heard a groan next behind me. The sound of a body moving, but not well or for long. I opened my eyes and for a very long time saw nothing at all. It was not that there was nothing in front of me. Just that - what was in front of me didn't make its way past my eyes to lodge in my mind.

I was cold. And laying on something hard. Stones from the feel of it. My cheek was wet and so was my shoulder. My hair hurt where it met my scalp. Something smelled horrible, like rot and sour wine. Water was dripping from something nearby.

"Shit." A man's voice. Behind me still. At the same ground level I was at. Something prodded my shoulder. "Andy?"

I knew that voice. My eyes blinked and the dingy alleyway I was in began to take shape in front of me. 'Sandorsun'. 'Hoot'.

My baby -

I sat up with a gasp that quickly turned into a muffled whimper. My hands were still tied at the wrist but I raised them and cupped my face in my fingers. Trying to push the two sides of my head back together since they were obviously splitting apart. My eyes and nose were watering and I rubbed at them, blinking as I tried to look around.

I had never seen such a place before...

The alleyway was narrow and there was some kind of stone on the ground of it. Tall, dingy looking buildings rose up close on either side with closed doorways. There was painting on the walls, scrawled words and crude pictures. Water dripped from a drain spout. There were strange square boxes the size of a small horse stall near some of the closed doors and trash piled in forgotten heaps wherever there was a corner to shelter it. Overhead the sky was dirty and at the beginning of the alley that was not blocked off by another wall I could see people passing dressed in strange clothes. Blurs of color, moving too fast for me to understand passed sometimes too on the other side of the walking people.

"Andy. I need you to untie me." I pulled my wide eyes away from the mouth of the alley and looked down. To see 'sandorsun' looking up at me. And he did not look well. Not well at all. Everything else lost its importance next to that.

"Yes" I reached for my knife and than remembered it was gone. Looked around the alley instead until I found a broken bottle. Feeling weak and a little sick to my stomach, I still managed to get to my feet and hobble over to retrieve it. Who would believe the shambling creature in front of them had once been a princess of the greatest city to every rule the Dardanelles? 'Sandorsun' shifted as I came back and I knelt down behind him and carefully sawed at the ropes until they were frayed enough that he could pull them apart. He rolled onto his back and than started coughing. Setting down the bottle, I put my hands under him and rolled him back onto his side. He spit and it was a great gob of blood. Afterward he lay still. Panting. I sat very still, supporting him. Trying to breath myself. Working very hard on not looking at the opening in the alley that let out into a world I did not recognize. 'Sandorsun's' hand finally moved and he checked his hips. Exhaled through his teeth.

"I haven't got my cell, Andy. We've got to find a way for me to call my base."

I looked blankly at him. Concentrating very hard on his words even if I did not understand all of them. Because my chest was starting to close up. My lungs felt as if they were slowly turning to stone and I was having a hard time breathing. There were strange noises in the air, coming from the mouth of the alley. Loud noises I did not recognize. And I thought, if I were to turn and look, somehow the alley would have grown smaller since I looked last and brought all that horrible, strange 'out there' sneaking up close behind me.

"What should I do?" I asked, face very pale. Trying hard to pretend I was brave. It was my trick. I was not a brave woman. I was a woman that did what must be done when the time came. But that did not mean I was brave. I had never been brave. Only borrowed it from my husband when he did not know it so that I could pretend I was. 'Sandorsun's' very blue eyes met mine and his face was very grey.

"I need you to find someone. And bring them back here. So I can tell them what to do."

I wanted to shudder as I knelt next to him. And I wanted to tell him 'no'. Instead I positioned the broken glass between my knees and calmly cut my wrists free. My son was out there. Somewhere. For he was not in this alley and I had to believe that he was somewhere I could still reach him. Somehow I stood up, though my knees were so weak I was surprised when I found myself upright. My mouth was dry.

I had come to my husband young. He had driven his chariot out to meet me and I had ridden with him back into his city. And I remembered how it had been with all of those people crowding the streets to see me. Their one day future queen. I had wanted nothing more than to crawl down and hide behind Hector's shield for the ride. But I had not. I had stood tall and pretended I was proud and noble and brave and I had endured the gaze of judgmental strangers for the entire depth of the city. Gathering the hem of my dress now I stepped around the puddles and without looking back, I made my way to that horrible opening with its gaudy dressed strangers and its rushing colored boxes of noise with its dirty air and painful fumes.

Not because I was brave. Because it needed to be done.