Disclaimer: Oh, Mr T. S. Eliot... please, please don't get mad at me.

Author's Note: This fics's going to earn me some serious hate mail.

JestaAriadne's Random Pairings Generator came up with this the second time I clicked Refresh. Ignoring such things as Asparagus/Victoria, Bustopher Jones/Old Deuteronomy and Jemima/Grizabella, I went for the Free-for-All pairing.

And it didn't quite turn out... as I hoped...

It was also partly inspired from a pic I saw in a website. It's quite disturbing, and features something virtually unknown in the Europe fandom - MiSkiTugger.

You can probably guess. O.o


"Has the train left already?"

A brown Maine Coon was running along the pavement, and entered the railway station. It looked around quickly, looking anxious for some reason. Suddenly, its eyes brightened and it ran towards the platform, towards a orange tabby sitting calmly on there.

"Skimble!" The tom, by the name of Rum Tum Tugger called out. The tabby looked around, confused at the voice.

"Hmm? Who are you-" His gaze hardened somewhat at the sight of Tugger. "Oh, it's you. What do you want?" He asked flatly. Everyone knew that Skimbleshanks, the railway tom, was not friendly with the Maine Coon at all.

"Oh, lighten up a little, Skimble." Tugger said, considerably less cheerful at the tone of the tabby's voice. His ears drooped. "I've come all the way to try to talk to you before you went on this trip, and that's the way you greet me?"

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Skimble asked, sounding almost bored.

"I wanted to say... well, good luck, Skimble." Tugger smiled. "It's not often you go on long trips like this. Jenny and Jemima also sent thier love, too."

"Oh..." Skimble's face softened, and he looked flustered. "Well... thanks. I just wondered..."

"It's nothing." The brown tom sighed. "You're so lucky, Skimble. You have a kind, loving mate, and a daughter. You have a family." He sighed again, looking away, towards the other end of the station.

"I envy you." He finished softly.

Before Skimble could reply to this enigmatic statement, the stationmaster came around and stopped in front of the two cats.

"Why, Skimble. Is he your friend?" He stroked Tugger's mane briefly. "He's a fine-looking chap - be aware of the time, though, Skimble. The train's going to depart in twenty minutes." With that, the stationmaster walked off.

Neither toms said anything for a while.

"Friends..." Tugger muttered. "I'd like that." He glanced swiftly at the orange tabby, who still looked rather blank.

"I know you're not that keen on me, Skimble." The maned tom said sadly. "It's just my nature - but I guess it can't be helped." He stood up to walk back to the junkyard, his head hanging and looking uncharastically miserable.

"Stop." Skimble suddenly called quietly. Tugger stopped in his tracks, looking back confusedly at the orange tom. He hadn't looked back or moved, but merely sat still, waiting for the brown tom. Slowly, Tugger walked back and sat down next to Skimble again.

"Sorry for treating you like that earlier." Skimble continued in that quiet voice after a while. "And about the whole friends thing... I think I would like that too."

"Why, thank you, Skimble." Tugger's voice brightened. "You're always so nice, though."

"Want to come in with me in the train to talk?" Skimble offered. The Maine Coon instantly nodded, and they trotted off together, settling down on the very back of the train.

"It's not that I hate you, Tugger." Skimble said, sighing. "It's just that... you're too flirtatious. That's not really a quality I admire. I advise you, my lad, to settle down nicely with a decent queen before your stud days run out."

"Well..." Tugger trailed off. "It's not that easy, you know... it's like an addiction you can't stop. Once you impress one queen you want to impress another, and so on. I think that's my case."

"Remember, Tugger, that the kittens aren't going to stay kittens much longer. You'll be better off if you find a queen who loves you."

"They all say they love me." The tom laughed bitterly. "I haven't found anyone who means that yet."

"You'll find one with time."

"I doubt it." He changed the subject. "How did you and Jenny meet, Skimble?"

"Oh, me and Jenny? That's quite a story." The orange tabby's face took on a faraway look, and Tugger knew that he was back there again, back in the days of his romance with Jenny.

"To cut a long story short, I can say that she and I grew up as kittens together, and then love crept in as soon as we grew up." He sighed lovingly. "She never found out one secret of mine, but that's alright - quite alright-"

"What secret?" Tugger asked curiously. Skimble looked at him with a odd look, something that was a cross between a smile and a certain amount of what looked like a sneer.

"Wouldn't you like to know, Tugger." He whispered devillishly.

"Uh-" The tom managed to say nothing more as the orange tom's lips swiftly covered his. His eyes widened in shock, but shut again despite himself; Skimble made him feel something queens had never made him felt before. He kissed back hungrily, not exactly knowing what was going on.

"Skimble." He gasped as the kiss was broken abruptly. "I-"

"Shh." Tugger looked at Skimble, and noticed something he'd never really seen before.

Skimble was... quite handsome really...

With his bright green eyes, fine features and the stern-looking, but playful face, he was very attractive.

The brown tom traced one long, brownish-black stripe that ran across the elder tom's cheeks. Skimble grasped his paw midway, and engaged him in yet another silent, quick kiss. Tugger couldn't help but melt. Skimble was just so seductive, so sudden, but he wasn't about to refuse his advances. That mood didn't last long, though, as he felt Skimble grasp his belt tightly, fingering the fur underneath.

"Now you know, Tugger." He whispered wickedly, with a suave smile before he landed a third kiss on the tom's lips.

The Maine Coon felt lightheaded. He was certain that he was in a dream - he would wake up soon and find that he was back in his hut. Yet the warmth of the other, and soft sensation on his lips told him it was real, so very real...

Skimble pulled back, looking at Tugger again with that blank look he wore earlier.

"Off you go now." He said blandly. Tugger stared, getting up.

"What? Skimble... but... what was that all about..."

"Next week. Besides, people without tickets aren't allowed in." With that, Skimble grasped Tugger's spiked collar, and promptly pushed him off the train, onto the bare platform.

Tugger was totally confused to say the least; he could do nothing but stare, having lost all his ability to speak temporarily. The whistle went, signalling the departure of the train.

Skimble looked back at the brown tom with his charasteric bright work-grin, waving his hand at him as if nothing had happened, and gave him a cheeky wave of his long, brown tail. He withdrew, closing the door behind him, and then he was seen no more.

"What was that...?" Tugger murmured, still staring after the train.

But he couldn't help but smirk. He looked up to the darkened sky above.

"He gives you a wave of his long brown tail, which says 'I'll see you again!'..." He sang quietly to himself, before looking at the train tracks once more.

"Sure, Skimble. Next week." He allowed himself a true, genuine chuckle. "I can't wait."

The light summer evening's breeze tickled against his cheek.

Like the orange tom, the touch was addictive; once you got hooked, there was no going back, and you would always long for more.

He gives you a wave of his long brown tail,

Which says 'I'll see you again!'.

You'll meet without fail, on the Midnight Mail,

The Cat of the Railway Train.


The ending was sucky.

Well, what did you expect from a fic that was written in one o'clock in the morning? x.x

The whole fic was really rushed, and although the idea started off good, I think it wasn't my best...

Pity me? (Sniffle)