Kai in Wonderland

Kai was getting very tired of sitting on his ass, having nothing to do. They were on holiday in west Sussex. The team were sitting in a beautiful unspoilt stretch of countryside. Kai sat in a large oak tree with lots of leaves to shade him from the sun.

Below him, Kenny was reading a book but it had no pictures. Kai couldn't understand books unless they had pictures. You see; Kai couldn't read very well.

Kai: But I can read.

PuddyKat: No you cant.

Kai: but….

PuddyKat: In this story you cant!

Kai: (mutters) Geez, it's no use arguing with her. She always gets her own way.

PuddyKat: What?

Kai: Nothing.

Kenny: He said something about getting a piece of pie.

PuddyKat: Good enough. Rei, hurry up and spread out the picnic.

Rei: Okay. Just let me iron this cloth.

PuddyKat: Hey hey hey! You've no time to be ironing! My mum comes home real soon and if she finds me on the computer without permission she'll kill me.

Rei: Ok.

Kai was very bored. Rei had nearly finished setting out the picnic and Kai was wondering whether to climb down from the tree and have a peanut butter sandwich when something white on the other side of the tree caught his eye.

It was a rabbit.

Rabbit: Oh dear I shall be so late.

Kai: Eh? But rabbits don't talk.

PuddyKat: Well in this story they do.

Kai: But what would a rabbit be late for?

PuddyKat: Well why don't you follow him. Do I have to spell it out?

Kai: But I don't want to follow him.

PuddyKat: If you don't, there wont be a story.

Kai: I don't care. I'm not following a stupid rabbit.

PuddyKat: The rabbit's is going!

Kai: I'M NOT FOLLOWING A RABBIT!

PuddyKat: Alright that's it I'm getting outta here.

(PuddyKat flicks Kai of the tree trunk and onto the trail of the rabbit.)

PuddyKat: Now follow it.

Kai gets up and runs after the rabbit. He catches up with it but before he can grab its waistcoat, it disappears down a rabbit hole. Kai stops at the edge of the hole and peers down.

Kai: I'm not going down there.

PuddyKat: Oh look, in front of you! A rabbit smoking weed!

Kai: (excitedly) Where. (Looks in front of him)

(PuddyKat pushes him into the hole)

Kai: Ahhhhh! You bch! You lied!

PuddyKat: Well you're down the hole now.

Kai falls for ages and ages and ages. He falls past cupboards and bookshelves.

PuddyKat: Well seen as you're here and wont be landing for another hour, let's talk.

Kai: Fine.

(59 minutes later….)

PuddyKat:……And then I laughed at Katie and said "Serves you right for teasing me!" Because her pizza got burnt and was all dry and hard and then Roscoe thought I was being unfair and dropped a bag of flour on my head. It took me ages to get the floor out of my hair. And…

(There is a loud "THUD" and Kai falls on his head on top of a pile of sticks and leaves covering a rock)

Kai: Ow!

PuddyKat: (looks at her watch) you're landing right on schedule. Oh, are you all right?

Kai: (crying) No.

PuddyKat: Oh dear you're bleeding. Let me find a bandage. Sis, cover for me…(rushes off to find a bandage and some T.C.P.)

PKBS: (PuddyKat's Big Sis) I'll cover for a bit. Now where are we?

Kai: I fell down a rabbit hole.

PKBS: RIGHT…I see…

Rabbit:(passes by shouting) I'm late!

Kai: It's that freaky rabbit again.

PKBS: well, run after him then!

Kai: I can't… my head hurts…

PKBS: Oh yeah you have blood pouring down, you can't run like that…. Here…(rips part of her skirt and wraps it around Kai's head to stop the bleeding. Then she supports him and together they run after the rabbit.)

Kai: It's okay now, I can walk: sort of.

PuddyKat: Hi! I'm back! (Appears with all sorts of medical stuff) Hey KAI? KAI! Sis where is he!

PKBS: (dreamily) He went after the rabbit.

PuddyKat: Well I'd better catch up with him. He'll go all woozy if I don't mop up the blood. (Looks at her sisters skirt and squints her eyes) What have you done to him?

PKBS: Nothing, well I have to go now. See ya later!(Disappears)

PuddyKat: Well, I guess I can bathe his head later. KAI! WAIT UP!

Kai follows the white rabbit at full speed down a long passage.

Kai: Hey Mister Rabbit WAIT UP! I need to get the address of your attorney so I can sue you!

Rabbit: Oh my ears and whiskers! How late it's getting!

The rabbit turns another corner. Kai swings round the corner and finds the rabbit has disappeared. He is in a long; low, round hall with lots of doors all around him. Kai walks around the hall, pulling at each door handle in turn; but finding each locked he walked around sadly wondering how he was ever to get out again. Then he tries the doors again.

On his fifth way round, he comes across a small three legged table made out of glass. There is only one thing on the table.

Kai: It's a key! (Picks it up and stares at it) but it's tiny. Anyways; all the doors are locked so this must fit one of them.

Kai excitedly runs around the room trying each lock but the key doesn't fit any of them. He walks back to the table and looks around, then spots PuddyKat.

Kai: What are you doing to that door, with that red paint?

PuddyKat:( Hastily tries to cover the large red arrow that she had painted in red paint.) Nothing. Why are you wearing my sister's skirt on your head; no wonder it was ripped?

Kai: (Pushes her aside) Wow! That's a midget door!

PuddyKat: Try the key in the lock.

Kai: I was about to do that.

PuddyKat: Well why don't ya! You don't have to bite my head off.

Kai: Well you shouldn't have made me come down here!

PuddyKat: Just put the dam key in the dam lock Kai.

Kai: (shoves the key in the lock and turns) This is the right key!

PuddyKat: Well dur!

Kai pushes the tiny door open. He kneels down and looks through. There is a wonderful garden on the other side. Kai sticks his head through and tries to get through the door.

Kai: Help! I'm stuck!

PuddyKat: (sighs) Idiot! (Grabs his waist and pulls. Kai lands on top of her)

Kai: Dam! I'm too big.

PuddyKat: You certainly got that right. Tall and dark and hunk----

Kai: Are you trying to chat me up?

PuddyKat: (Pushes Kai off her)

Kai: HEY, There's something else on that table!

Kai runs over and finds a tiny bottle with a small label that read…

Kai: (reading the label) "Drink Me"

PuddyKat: I thought you couldn't read.

Kai: I told you I could.

Kai pulled the tiny cork out of the bottle and took a sip.

Kai: mmm! This is nice. (Takes another sip) Tastes that all sorts of stuff mixed together.

Kai slowly drinks the liquid, describing every flavour that it tastes of. He doesn't notice how small he's getting.

PuddyKat: Boys! You don't have much common sense do you?

Kai: What?

PuddyKat: For all you know, what you just drank could be poison. (Picks up the bottle beside Kai) Like it? It's my own creation!

Kai: You evil ---

PuddyKat: Well you can get through your door now.

Kai runs towards the door and tugs at the handle but once again; it's locked.

Kai: Dam! The keys on the table.

Kai runs back to the table and tries to climb up but the glass is really slippery. He slides down again.

Kai: I give up! (Slowly his head meets his outstretched hands and he begins to cry) I wish someone could help me.

PuddyKat: Are you crying?

Kai: (Hides behind the table leg and turns his head away)

PuddyKat: Personally, I don't think you'd want to go in there. But later on there is a surprise. Now Kai, don't worry. Dry your tears and look beside you.

Kai dries his tears on his sleeve and looks beside him. There is a small golden box beside him. Kai picks up the box and unties the pink ribbon. Inside is several small biscuits, each with it's own individual rainbow icing and in spindly writing on each one are the words---

Kai: "Eat me."

So far; all the decisions Kai had made had led to even more trouble. Kai looks up at PuddyKat.

Kai: Should I?

PuddyKat: (Nods)

Kai picks up one of the biscuits and begins to eat.

Well end of chapter one!

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