Written for 30Smirks in LiveJournal. :D

Prompts:

7. I'm in love with you (Sorry but I don't love you)

15. Ice (frozen in time)

27. I hate to love... (alone in the rain)

28. Are you serious? ( I'm dead serious)

30. Smirks (wipe that off your face)

Notes: AU; KiriSaku; random plot

All disclaimers apply.


Library Love


April 12, 2008

On the first day that I saw her, she was reading a book titled Troy.

I remember that day vividly – the way her long, braided hair fell against her small back, the way her yellow, flower-patterned dress framed her petite body, the way she held the small, fairly thick book in her dainty hands – I remember all of it. Even the weather, where I sat back then and the librarian's mood.

I haven't ever talked to her but I know who she was.

Ryuzaki Sakuno.

That's all there is to it. I don't know her school, or her age or her birthday. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. In short, she's pretty much a stranger and I doubt if she even knew my name.

But I love her.

I know, it sounds lame. But seriously, the only reason why I go to this stupid library is to see her. Every Saturday at two in the afternoon. It's so stupid, I can't even believe it myself. Sometimes, I wonder what the hell I'm doing but when I reach this place, I forget about reason. Everything seems to be in place; it all seems unquestionable.

It just feels right. Watching her. Seeing her read the book. Wondering when she'll be able to finish it. Doubting if she'll ever do.

Sometimes, I feel extra-brave and extra-stupid and I almost confess, but always, I back down at the last minute. After all, who am I to her? She doesn't even know me and she'll probably think that I'm some kind of scary stalker.

Oh, wait.

Here she comes. I better stop writing and go over to watch. Later.

April 19, 2008

I don't know why I decided to write things like this. Maybe it's because I'm bored whenever I'm waiting for her to come. It's been like this, I guess. I'm used to coming half an hour early so I can see her come in into this section. And while waiting, I'll check her progress with the bookmarked book. She never seems to finish more than five pages a day.

Oh damn. I DO sound like a stalker. I should stop doing this.

But still, I find her awesome.

Not anyone could stand to read something so long, and she's especially great because she's reading it so slowly.

One time, I almost saw her give up. Her face was scrunched up in frustration and she was holding the book so firmly that I thought it would break. I know that look because that's the look I get whenever I can't finish a test. But I was really surprised when she came back a week after to read again.

I guess that it was the day I fell in love with her.

Isn't she just great?

April 26, 2008

The words in parentheses have been crossed out.

(Dear Sakuno) Ryuzaki-san,

(I've been watching you for a while now)

(I always see you coming here)

(How are you?)

(You see, I always pass by this aisle and I noticed)

(I love you)

Is Troy any good?

Argh, this is hopeless. I'm pathetic. I've gotta stop this. If I'm going to write her a letter, I should do it in some fancy paper, not in this old notebook. I sound like a loser. I AM a loser. Who am I kidding here? I can't write. I suck. I should go to hell with this cursed notebook. If anyone picks this up when I die, I hope you tell Ryuzaki Sakuno that she should finish Troy. She's been trying so hard after all. And tell her that I love her.

I'm downing the pills tonight.

I just hope that they've got tennis in hell.

May 3, 2008

I chickened out on the pills. So yeah, I didn't die. I guess that I'll have to wait for it because damn, those pills looked seriously scary. And I probably can't live in hell. I asked Marui-sempai, and he told me that my body would shake until it got hard when I swallowed the pills (he doesn't know about her, of course) and then I would die.

I can't believe that I felt so suicidal just because of a stupid letter. I knew it, I was slowly degenerating into a loser. ARGH.

Anyway, last night, I had this weirdest dream. I dreamt that I was talking to her, finally, and we're having a really good time. She was telling me something about the book when I suddenly blurted out, "I love you!" in a really loud voice. Then, she was suddenly wearing Sanada-buchou's (he's the captain of our tennis team in school) blue cap and told me, "I don't." and there was this evil smirk on her face. She ended up laughing evilly like what villains did in the movies and she hit me on the head with this notebook.

Now that I can see her here, I know that everything last night wasn't real because she's very much like an angel. And I love her.

May 10, 2008

I wonder… is love true? Or am I taking in more sweets than necessary (all Marui-sempai's fault)? Maybe my cholesterol's just too high and I'm risking myself to a heart attack.

I asked Marui-sempai about this again (this time, he was very annoyed) and he told me that I was acting weird. He told me that if I believed in the Easter Bunny, I should believe in love. Then he told me that I've been staying in the library for too long.

If this was love then I hate it. I hate love. I hate it as much as I hate the rain outside. Wait. What if she won't come? What if she'd get wet because she forgot her umbrella? What if she's all alone and she gets lost?

I told you. I hate love. Because it made me worry about this that I usually didn't worry about before. Seriously, though. Is she okay? I'm getting worried… she's five minutes late… dammit, I think I'm going to wet my pants.

Here she comes! She's safe! The guy with her must've shared an umbrella with her! They look like they don't know each other, so I guess I won't think about it anymore. She's thanking him, she really got herself lucky! The white-capped guy with the smirk on his face must've been there because I was thinking and worrying so hard for her.

Thank goodness!

May 17, 2008

"Are you serious?" Marui-sempai asked me with this annoying smirk on his face. I still can't believe that he doesn't take me seriously. I told him that I was in love with her and I told him all about her and when he asked me that, I answered that I was dead serious.

He laughed and told me that it was too unbelievable. What's so unbelievable about it, I wonder?

He says now that I don't have a chance, from what he sees. He's here with me now and he's also looking at Ryuzaki Sakuno. He looks at me and he tells me that she looks too good for me. She's quiet, he says, and she looks really nice. While on the other hand, I look like a pick-pocket who didn't know how to spell his own name.

I can't believe Marui-sempai thinks like that! And I can spell my name just fine!

Someday, I swear that I'm going to wipe that smirk right off his face!

May 24, 2008

She talked to me a few minutes before and until now, I can't stop shaking!

She approached me and asked me where I went to school and what book I was reading and oh my God, I think I was so happy that I could burst.

"Rikkai," I told her, still surprised by the fact that she would be the first one to approach. Finally, she must've realized how I feel! Yay! Anyway, I told her that I was reading The Gardens of Kyoto and she smiled at me! I'm the luckiest guy in the world and I think I could just die happy right now!

I wish I could've frozen that moment in time and I wish that it never ended.

I'm really so happy!


Ryuzaki Sakuno closed the notebook and looked up at the beaming boy in front of her. Her face was flushed red and she was trembling a bit.

"A-Anou… you're Kirihara-san, right?"

The sound of his name made the boy brighten up and he smirked. "Yeah," he replied with a nod before he scratched his head sheepishly.

"I… I really… don't know what to say, Kirihara-san," Sakuno stammered, her blush deepening. "I didn't know… and I'm surprised… E-Eto…" She began playing with the edges of the worn-out notebook she had just finished reading.

"You don't have to worry," Kirihara told her, unfazed. "I just wanted to let you know." He looked at her hopefully, his emerald eyes shining in anticipation.

Sakuno played with the end of her braids nervously, completely at loss on what to say.

"Oi, Ryuzaki!"

The two looked at the source of the voice and they were both greeted by cold, cat-like eyes framed under a white Fila cap. Kirihara recognized him to be the umbrella-savior back then and he smirked at his direction. Ryoma looked at him blankly before looking at Sakuno.

"Let's go."

Sakuno nodded as she got her things. "Y-Yes, Ryoma-kun!" And she gently gave back the notebook to a speechless Kirihara.

"I… I'm very sorry, Kirihara-san!" she apologized, giving him a small bow. "I have to go now." And she walked out of the library, holding Ryoma's hand as she did so.

Kirihara smiled to himself as he, too, walked out of the library, after he threw the notebook away.

On the next week, Sakuno didn't come back to the library.

She never did finish the book.


Fin.


Footnotes:

(1) Troy was written by Adele Garas; and

(2) The Gardens of Kyoto was written by Kate Walbert

Both of which are very good books.

A/N: Holy gods, I don't know why this came up. Anyway, I couldn't post this in LJ because I felt it was too long and the font I'm using there is quite small. I also decided to post it in this account instead of under neko11lover because somehow, I wrote this with a blank mind and I don't even know for sure why I ended it so bitterly (did that explain it? lol).

Seru-chan

P.S. Self-pimpage. Please visit my fic dump at possiblechances(dot)livejournal(dot)com and you can use the tags to filter the entries to the pairings/fandoms you prefer. (The other fics in 30smirks can be found using the 'challenge' tag.)