February's OCOH Valentines Day challenge!
Disclaimer: Not mine, never have been, never will be.
Authors Notes: This is set during season 8, obviously around Valentines, but the twist is that Abby didn't drink on her birthday; in fact she didn't even meet Joyce. However Carter and Susan are together, well for the time being anyway ;), and the rest of the things did happen on her birthday.
The Girls Night That Wasn't
"What's this?" I ask, as I enter the lounge. Pink and red streamers are everywhere, then I spot the heart shaped cake on the table and it quickly dawns me.
Valentines day.
The one day in the year all couples adore and the one day of the year single woman make a habit to avoid like the plague or join there female comrades in a stand against everything this Hallmark holiday stands for. This year I'm in the latter group and happy to be so. After last years over the top affair that Luka created for me, I'm pleased that I can go home at the end of my shift, flick on something funny on the tele and eat my way through a bar of chocolate before collapsing into my warm, cosy bed. Funny thing is I would have never pegged Luka for the over the top romantic gesture type, Carter on the other the hand. I stop myself there.
"Yosh went a little bit overboard." Susan looks up from her paper to answer me.
"Ya think?" I make my way across the room and deposit my coat into my locker. I can't wait for summer, having to bundle up before leaving the house is annoying and time consuming. I hate to even have to speak to her but I gave myself a task at the start of the New Year, not a resolution as they are so easily given up, but a task to not blame everyone else for my own downfalls and regrets. Looking at the woman sat at the table, the same woman I never even took the chance to get to know and build up the courage and ask. "So what are you and Carter doing?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?" My heart actually misses a beat at this news.
I watch as she slowly folds up her newspaper and places it in front of her. "We broke up a week ago."
"Oh!" The shock instantly turns into hope and I force myself to stop the smile forming on my face. And try to sound sincere when I say, "I'm sorry."
"Well you should be." She accuses.
"What?" I say and then notice the teasing smile on her face. "You're joking?"
"Yeah." She nods and motions for me to join her at the table. So reluctantly I make my way over, curiosity driving me to find out what happened. 'It was mutual. We both got the same thing from the relationship, but needed something else. Or rather something more than just friendship."
I nod; Carter was great at the whole friendship deal. Well great up until the last couple of months. Seems it was fine for him to cross the fine line to try and take us to the next level, but for me to do the same is an entirely different matter.
"And the thing that he wanted, is you."
"Right." I scoff, not quite believing what she's saying. If that's the case then why hasn't he spoken to me in months, why did he just drop me out of his life? But the questions could go on forever. Looking back up at Susan she's nodding that what she says is true.
"So maybe you should talk to him." I half laugh at this, not quite believing she's giving me advice. "I've seen the way he looks at you, the way he acts when you're around. And the way his face lights up when he's talking abo…"
"I asked him out." I abruptly interrupt her, not liking where her comments were heading. "Did he tell you that? Did he tell you that he turned me down, saying he wanted someone without any baggage." She shakes her head, looking slightly downtrodden. I don't want to continue, confiding in her seems like talking to the enemy, but she's not really the enemy anymore and it's nice to finally be able to talk this through. "Someone he didn't have to settle for." The words choke in the back of my throat at the memory of that night.
"I don't know what possessed him to say that to you, when he's clearly besotted with you. And if you want my opinion." She doesn't even wait for my answer. "I'd say his feelings are completely reciprocated. So you should talk to him and stop both of you being so miserable."
I watch her get up and move to the door, I guess her breaks over, as the door closes she turns and smiles encouragingly at me.
"Oh god." I groan as I rest my head in my hands. Just as I was hoping for an easy day I get all this information unloaded on me. I don't even know where to being and even if what she said was even remotely true, Carter and I are barely on speaking terms. For us to even have a conversation would be tantamount to a miracle. So I guess that's my decision made. Pulling myself to my feet, I follow in Susan's footsteps out into the chaos of the ER.
*
"You spoke to him yet?"
I'm helping Susan with an unconscious diabetic in Exam 1. "Who?" I feign ignorance.
"You know who." I sigh quietly to myself. "You're really not going to talk to him?"
I can't see that this is any of her business, but I answer her any way. "I don't think so."
She looks like she's about to say more, argue her case a little further, but she stops to change tact. "Well since you're free tonight and I'm free tonight we should do something."
I laugh, shocked at her request. But she doesn't seem to be giving up easily. "Come on, we can do the girl thing. You know rent movies, drink wine, eat chocolate."
"I don't drink."
"Well soda then."
Looking at her, she seems pretty determined and 'no' really doesn't seem an option. So I nod. While we finish up with the patient we arrange to meet at hers at seven, giving me time to go home and change.
*
"Hey." Susan smiles at me, and looks amused as she notices the video choices I've brought with me. I personally think a girls only Valentines Day shouldn't be reduced to watching soppy chick flicks especially when I have the Scream Trilogy to hand and the only on-screen romance of any value is that between Courtney Cox and David Arquette.
"Hi." I answer and she steps back allowing me to enter her apartment. It's rather small, but cosy and this woman's a bit of a neat freak, everything seems to have a place and it's spotless which kinda puts my place to shame.
Turning back to face her I notice she's putting on her coat. "Where are you going?"
"My neighbour just called, she needs help with her cooker." Susan rolls her eyes at me, emphasizing the irritation in her tone. "So make yourself at home. Pizza's on the table and there's some soda in the fridge. Hopefully I wont be too long."
"See you in a bit." Say as the door closes behind her. Working through the apartment the thing that immediately jumps out at me is all the pictures. Mainly of a little girl, some with Susan and some with a couple. I guess she must be her niece; I make up my mind to ask her when she gets back. Right now I'm thirsty, so I root through her cupboards until I find a couple of tall glasses. Grabbing ice from the freezer and the soda I fill a glass and take a couple of deep gulps.
Just as I flop onto the sofa the doorbell rings. I guess Susan forgot her key.
"Carter!"
"Oh, hey." A confused smile lights up his face.
"What… what are you doing here?" I ask.
"Susan invited me over."
"On Valentines?" My eyebrows rise sceptically.
"She gave me a sob story about not wanting to spend another Valentines alone. So what about you?"
"A girls night in."
"Right." He laughs and I realise I'm smiling too. Talk about a set up, I really should have guessed.
Suddenly the phone rings and goes immediately to answer phone, and we hear Susan's voice echo through the apartment. "Hey guys. It's cupid here. Sorry I can't be there with you both, but I'd feel like a third wheel! There's plenty of food and drink, so have a good night and I'll speak to you both tomorrow." There's a pause as she chuckles slightly, obviously pleased with her little ploy. "And I want details. Goodnight."
We stand there looking at each, discomfort beginning to set in.
"You want to let me in?" He breaks the silence.
"Sure."
"So much for cupid. I thought there would at least be candles lit around the place." He says as he looks round the tidy apartment.
"You want candles?" I tease.
"Well..." He sounds almost nervous.
"Don't worry about it… You want some pizza – it's Hawaiian." I let him off the hook. And lead him over to the table, where I grab a slice and sit down.
"This is good." Carter tells me after his 5th piece. Who knew this guy could shovel that much pizza. We've spent the last hour catching up, we started off with the superficial, but slowly we've fallen back into our old pattern and have started confiding about other things. The most recent being his thoughts on Paul Sobrieki's return. I knew how much it could affect him, I just hadn't realised quite the effects it had had. I guess we've both been dealing with our own issues to notice the other's life. Now as he continues to munch through yet another slice I'm glad Susan set up this impromptu 'date'.
And he's right about the pizza, it is good. "Susan sure knows how to order up a mean pizza. But you know what I want to do?"
He shakes his head, as his mouth is full of pizza.
"I feel like a walk, try and work off some of this pizza."
He swallows his mouthful. "Good idea."
We grab our coats, gloves, hats and scarves. What was I thinking earlier about summer not coming too soon?
"You think we should clean up?" He asks me.
"Nah, this was Susan's idea, let her deal with the fall out."
I let the door shut behind me, leaving the pizza remains and our glasses spread across her kitchen counter and table.
*
"I've really enjoyed tonight." I say cautiously. Somehow we've walked through the city and have ended up at our spot by the river.
"Me too." He replies. We stand side by side looking out over the water, mesmerised as the waves slowly move by. The silence setting over us, we've talked about every now, everything except us. I don't even know if there is an 'us', and it could just be the atmosphere of Valentines Day and the clear star filled sky, but I want to find out.
I turn to face him and he follows suit, for the moment words aren't needed. He slowly moves his hand up to clear the hair out of my face, and then tentatively leaves his fingers on my cheek. I feel myself leaning into him, our eyes locked.
"Here we are again." He whispers. I nod, this river has seen us at our best and our worst, we've spent many hours sat here putting the world to right and leaning on each others shoulders. The last two spring instantly to mind, timing then was an issue but now there is nothing to stop us. We could take things further content that no one will get hurt and the knowledge that this could be the real thing.
"This place holds so many memories." I say. It's his turn to nod. "You remember last time we were here?" He nods again, but he takes his hand off my face, breaking our connection. This spurs me to reach out and grab his hand, what I want to say I need strength for and by just feeling his touch I get stronger. "We both weren't in the right place or time to start anything. We had baggage and things to work through, but now… Now… I think we're both ready."
I hope he understands what I'm trying to say. Last time I knew wasn't the right time, but it still hurt when he turned me away. I couldn't bear it if he did it again.
He seems to be smiling at me and he now has both my hands in his. I search his eyes and see my feelings mirrored in them. He leans forward and I can feel his breath on my lips. He then whispers, "Want to make some new memories."
He captures my lips with his own. It's a soft kiss that ends too soon, but leaves me breathless. Opening my eyes he's looking at me with an expression I haven't seen in a while. It's that same look that makes your knees weak and your heart flutter uncontrollably. I reach my arms up around his neck, gently stroking the hairs at his nape. His hands are reaching around my waist pulling me closer. Closing my eyes I move to recapture his lips. Deepening the kiss. I hear his groans of pleasure, which spur my own.
Eventually, after what seem like hours but were probably minutes we break apart. Both breathless and grinning like fools.
"Happy Valentines Day."
