Beautiful boy why do you hide. Looking at everything with suspicion backing away from anybody who talks to you. Smiling silently as you watch the leaves fall.
So strange I think, but what do I know. Watching you from afar.
Watching the way your heart cried silently when a small gray pigeon hit the window. Falling down, down to the ground leaving small gray down on the window.
You blue eyes were so sad and you sat outside on lunch period.
Staring up at the sky. You took off those fake glasses. Showing your brilliant eyes always hid behind your fake image. And you see me watching and those eyes are so filled with hate that I back away. Behind the window ledge.
You smile for no one. And I want to see you smile for a human just once. But you face remains stoic and blank.
You walk to school and Doug and his friends call you a fag and push you into the wall. Your reaction is lighting fast and Doug backs away holding his nose.
Blood drips from beneath his fingers and I smile on contently.
You readjust your jacket. And walk away. You're not wearing your glasses today and your eyes glint brightly under your black hair.
Your disdain is almost palable as the cheerleader girls giggle and flutter there lashes at you. Your body stiffens and I almost think you're going to turn around but you keep walking. And the more looks you get the tighter your jaw sets and your shoulders stiffen and your glare becomes harsher and harsher and I think your might punch the next person that checks you out, you don't but your knuckles are white clenched into a death grip.
You look so empty I want to fill you up. Fill you up with happiness replace all that hate. I still remember the time when your smile was so bright people turned to stare now your expression is set and you never smile never laugh.
The time I saw you cry must have been a mistake I know you would never lower yourself enough to let anyone see you cry specially over a bird and I wonder what would have to happen to break your mask.
You're on track today you're so much faster then everyone else. You're running harder and harder faster and faster it's like your being chased and once you start running you don't stop until you can barely stand.
When you're running your eyes are wild panicked almost and your black hair shines in the sun and your feet move faster and faster and you've already passed the track team four times and your coming around for the fifth and I can see how much the coach wants you to join he knows we would win every racing competition but when he asks you. You just stare right through him.
You're at the track again today. It's raining pouring down in unstoppable rivers of icy water and still you run.
The teacher looks out the window her face worried as she watches you fly around the track and I discreetly watch the way your bare feet pound the wet pavement barely making a splash as you run through the rain.
Your hair is wet framing you face. You see no one hear no one and I see the way you run from all your fears. Running is your escape and you think if you could just run a little faster you could get away and you can't stop you want so much to cry but you can't.
You hear your mothers screams echoing in your ears and you run from them but they won't leave you alone and if you stop running there're going to catch up consume you and now your lungs gasp at empty air and your suffocating but still you run and your slowing down and the screams are sinking into you they are you and in desperation your put on one more burst of speed but they've already caught up to you.
And you feel your mind empty of all thoughts blocking the sounds out and silently turn your face upwards to the rain you want it to wash your soul clean wash the blackness away but all you fill is water on your face no relief and your body shudders shivering consistently but you feel no cold.
You walk on shaky legs towards where you know you should go but you 'v left your body behind and I watch your slow descent to hell.
I know I should help you. But you don't ask and I don't offer.
Your soul is slowly being steeped in blackness and its going deeper and deeper and the little light you have left is being tamped and I want to see the light back in your eyes but at the same time I want to watch you die inside.
Curiosity keeps me at bay and walking by you your eyes star through me hatred like a knife piercing me.
You know I can help you, you know that, and yet you won't ask for help and so my pride allows me to do nothing.
You cling to life desperately your scared of life after death and you gently carve your hate into your skin.
The scars within are eating you alive and night after night you watch sleeplessly as the moon rises the stars blink down on you and your still sitting there when the sun rises.
Your blood is the only warmth you have and so you cut deeper want to feel the warmth all over but you can't.
Always stopping before you go that millimeter deeper.
You have no fear of death. But you're so afraid of what comes after that you can't sleep for fear of what comes in the night.
You love the night but you hate the darkness.
You wait for someone to help you free you from your chains but you're afraid of what will keep you going when you're free and so unwittingly you chain yourself.
And the chains cut into your wrist and you want to cry out in pain but your lips have been sealed.
And when you see the smiling faces and rotting souls you shrink within see the dirtiness of humans.
You despise what you are hate your weakness hate your fear that holds you in place and the way your eyes become emptier and emptier by day I see the reaper floating silently by you.
Waiting for its chance to snatch up your soul soaked in fear pain hatred all the things that make souls so attractive to reapers and you can feel the darkness following you and now you run from that to. And day after day you come to school eyes dark.
You know longer hide behind a fake image.
You try to cry letting the pain envelope you but it barely brushes the pain within and you wait.
For what you don't know and you keep waiting. Now you watch me as I watch you and as you watch me closer and closer I see deaths collar tighten around your neck.
You feel tired you want to stop fighting your leash and you stop running.
The coach calls you to his office and you listen with deaf ears watch him with blinded eyes.
And you walk slower and slower as your dragged farther and farther down. And the last flickering light in your soul is slowly being smothered by the blackness.
Your movements are that of a robot you seem somewhere else entirely.
All you have been running from has caught up with you and you can't run any longer and you want to fall down on your knees beg and plea for help but you can't speak and you burn the brand of betrayal into your skin.
You're so empty now. I can't help you any longer and I watch in morbid fascination as you wither away and the reapers smile makes hearts shudder and soul's quake but you can't feel it and the reapers collar grows tighter and you can barely breathe.
The sun shines brightly yet rain falls heavily wetting everything and I can feel your tortured soul leave and you finally open your mouth to scream as your eyes blink blindly against the blood and the moon rises red shining down on your body.
And life continues on leaving you behind and as the world passes you haunt my dreams.
And in my dreams you're always crying tears seeped in the blood of those that you killed.
And I roll over and go back to sleep, one day it will be my turn but today is not that day and I smile at the sun rolling into the sky painting the horizon pink and orange.
The sun cares not who lives or dies and like me she continues to shine well hiding just out sight, and trapped in the dark a beautiful boys screams echo through the darkness as his soul is slowly eaten.
