GUNSMOKE
"Rose Sullivan"
He watched her set the plate down in front of Doc with a grace that attracted him like no other, and her presence filled him with a warmth he had never known. She smiled at him slightly before walking back toward the kitchen, and he felt his cheeks flush with heat. Doc's left eyebrow shot up in amusement. Rose Sullivan had been living in Dodge City for a little over two months, and from the first day she had arrived, Festus had been like a love sick teenager. In a way Adams felt sorry for the deputy: the man would probably never work up the courage to court the woman, and such a pretty, young, single gal wouldn't be alone for long. But for now, watching the deputy try and cope with the emotions Rose evoked in him was entertainment enough for the old doctor.
Festus caught the look of amusement on Doc's face, "Now just what're you a- starin' at, you old scutter?"
Adams couldn't keep the laughter from his voice, "Nothing. Just somethin' akin to a love sick puppy dog, I suppose."
The deputy's lips pulled into a straight angry line, "You jes' keep your danged thoughts to yerself. I don't need to be a-hearin' 'em any more'n nobody else in Dodge. Ornery old goat...."
Festus dug his fork into his plate of greens and steak with a vengeance, and Adams had all he could do to keep from laughing aloud.
"You can't keep your eyes off of her, Festus. Why don't you ask the girl out for a stroll? Or if you can manage to part with a quarter, you could buy her a drink at the Long Branch."
Festus glared at Adams, "Are you suggestin' that Miss Rose ain't a lady?"
Doc scowled, "How the hell did you get that from what I said?"
"A feller don't take no lady to a saloon fer a drink. Miss Rose is a lady, and don't you forgit it neither."
Doc laughed, "I wasn't suggesting otherwise. And what's wrong with the Long Branch? Kitty runs it, and she's a lady."
Festus looked down into his food, "I weren't sayin' she wasn't....it's just, I don't have no mind to ask Miss Rose out nowhere anyhow."
Adams shook his head, "You're too stubborn for your own good. Or are you just afraid she might say no?"
The deputy squinted at the doctor, "Yer jes' tryin' to git me to ask her. I ain't a-goin' to do it."
"Give me one good reason why not?"
The woman in question interrupted the conversation, "Everything okay for you boys? Steaks done right?"
Festus smiled at her, "It's always good when you brung it, Miss Rose."
She smiled at him, her voice light and pleasant, "Why thank you Festus, that's the sweetest thing anybody's said to me all day."
"I cain't believe that, Miss Rose. Why if'n I was here all day, I'd have nothin' but sweet thangs to say."
Doc smiled at the woman, "As you can see, Rose, everything is just hunky- dory, except maybe the deputy's head; I think that's a little muddled."
Haggen glared at the doctor, while Rose frowned slightly, and placed a hand on his forehead, "Are you sick, Festus?"
He could barely speak with her hand on him, but he stuttered, "W-why n-no, Miss Rose, I ain't...."
Fully aware of her affect on him, she smiled.
"Well you boys let me know if you need anything else."
Festus watched her walk away, mesmerized by the view.
Doc shook his head, "I'll just never understand you."
Festus growled at the doctor, "You jes' mind your owned dag-blaned business; I don't wantcha a-messin' in mine."
The old physician shook his head in wonderment. Festus was completely taken with the woman, but his own fear of rejection would keep him from so much as striking up a conversation with her. It was ridiculous. Then again, Doc doubted that Deputy Festus Haggen had seen much luck with women during his lifetime. Of course, with a little soap, water, and a razor, Doc figured Festus probably wasn't a bad looking man; but then, they'd never know. He cut into his steak, and wondered how many more meals Festus was going to buy for him in his quest to have a reason to sit at a table in Delmonico's. It didn't really matter to Doc; a free meal was just that.
***********
The Long Branch was busy with customers. Sam was pouring whiskey after whiskey, and cowboys, farmers, and shopkeepers alike were enjoying the evening.
Doc took another sip of his beer, "You should have seen him, Kitty. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.....especially when she'd walk away from the table!"
Matt had to stifle a deep laugh, and Kitty swatted Adams on the arm.
"Doc! I'm ashamed of you, telling stories like that out of school." She grinned then, leaning in conspiratorially, "Did he ask her out yet?"
Adams waved a hand of dismissal through the air, "You can just forget that idea. That man will never build up the courage to even start a conversation with her, much less start courtin' her."
"Maybe he just needs the right kind of encouragement."
Matt felt sorry for his deputy, who was fast becoming a target for Doc and Kitty's version of cupid's arrow.
"Now listen you two, I don't think you should get involved in this. I mean, Festus is a grown man, with his own mind. If he wants to ask Rose out, he'll do just that without the two of you setting him up."
"We're just talking about making it a little easier for him, Matt, that's all."
The marshal shook his head, "And if Festus gets hurt, then what?"
"Come on, Matt," Doc argued, "Aren't you jumping the gun a little here?"
"If he's as attracted to Rose as you describe, no, I don't think I am. You two will set him up for rejection, and then what? Besides, this woman just moved to Dodge; what do we know about her?"
Kitty was incredulous, "Oh Matt, that is the most mistrustful thing I think I've ever heard you say! Festus is a grown man, not a child. It's about time you started treating him like one."
Matt's face grew red with anger, "I don't treat him like a child. Look, I just think we ought to leave him alone on this one...."
Doc's lips pursed together, considering, "Festus is a little naive where women are concerned, perhaps you're right, Matt."
Kitty wasn't convinced, "If he's that attracted to her, he should at least give it a shot.... besides, someone else might beat him to the punch, and then how will he feel?"
Adams looked at Dillon, "Kitty's got a point there, Matt. We both know the old boy's got a soft center, think how hurt he'll be if he just stands by while some other fella courts her."
The marshal took another swallow of beer, shaking his head, "Just remember, if Festus gets hurt, you two are responsible."
************
It was early in the morning, and Festus had just finished grooming Ruth. He walked out of the livery, and was heading toward Delmonico's for breakfast, when Kitty caught up with him. She looped her hand through his arm.
"Good morning, Festus."
He looked down at her hand, wondering what she was up to, "Miss Kitty..."
"How about if I buy you breakfast this morning?"
A big smile lit up his face, "That'd be right nice, Miss Kitty, but what's the occasionary?"
"Just the pleasure of your company."
"The what...?"
"I need you to do me a favor...."
Kitty led Festus over to the barber shop and bathhouse. As soon as he realized where they were going, the deputy tried to break away from her, but she had a death grip on his arm.
"Here now, Miss Kitty....jes' whut do you think you're a-doin'? I ain't goin' in thar, you know. Besides, it ain't open yet."
"Clem gave me the key. Festus, don't be as stubborn as your mule. If I'm going to take you to breakfast, then you need to look like my escort."
"Es-y-whut?"
"Escort -- a gentleman who accompanies a lady."
"Oh."
They stepped into the shop, and Doc was waiting. When Festus saw him, he knew he'd been had.
"You old scutter, what are you a-doin'?"
"Making you presentable. Now come on, and I don't wanna hear any complaining..."
Doc took Festus into a back room where there was a hot bath waiting for him. Kitty sat out front, trying not to laugh at the howls and growls emanating from behind the door. After about fifteen minutes, the two of them emerged, and she was astonished. Festus was shiny from head to toe, dressed in the clean clothes Doc had brought with him, and poor Doc was wet, and madder than a hornet.
"Never again."
"Doc?"
"It was like trying to wash a mangy mutt. Every time I got the soap on him, he started to shake it off!"
Festus tried to defend himself, "You old goat, you kept a-gittin' it in my eyes, and my ears, and betwixt other places I ain't even goin' mention in front of Miss Kitty."
Kitty tried not to laugh, and Doc looked as though he might take a switch to the deputy.
"Come on, Festus, a good shave will complete this transformation."
Reluctantly, Festus sat in a chair, and allowed Kitty to work on him. She placed hot towels on his face, and then a rich lather, that felt silky to him. Gently she massaged the lather into the stiff whiskers on his face, and she felt him relax slightly. After a few minutes, handling the blade with ease, she lifted all the scratchy bristle from his face. When she was finished, she poured some after shave in her hands, rubbed them together, and then softly rubbed it into his skin, patting him dry with a towel. She ran the back of her hand down his cheek.
"Now that's as smooth as a baby's bottom."
Doc ran a hand across the deputy's face, and leaned in close, "You're lucky she left you with your skin."
Festus almost jumped out of the chair, reaching for his old, dirty hat. Kitty grabbed it before he could put it on his clean head.
"Try this one, partner...."
She placed a new gambler's hat on his head, and then she cocked it slightly to the left.
"There. That should just about do it."
The three of them stepped out of Clem Richard's shop, and walked toward Delmonico's, getting looks from every citizen of Dodge that they passed. Doc stopped in mid step.
"Damn...... I almost forgot. I can't go to breakfast, I have an early appointment." He winked at Kitty, and then walked away, calling, "See you two later."
Festus allowed Kitty to take his arm again, and he held the door for her at Delmonico's. All conversation stopped dead when they entered, the good people of Dodge flabbergasted not only by the deputy's appearance, but also the sight of Kitty and Festus alone together.
One of the homesteader's called out, "Hey Festus.....your new look get you a new gal?"
Festus barked at the man, "You mind yer tongue, Walter."
He held out a chair for Kitty, and then sat down across the table from her. Rose walked over, her face red with jealousy.
"Morning deputy, Miss Russell."
"Howdy Miss Rose."
"You look mighty nice today, Festus. Is it your birthday?"
"No ma'am."
"Miss Russell's birthday?"
Kitty spoke up, "Happily, it's not."
Rose looked again at Festus, "A date then, huh?"
"Well, I don't think we should call it a--"
Kitty broke in before Festus could ruin her plan to illicit some jealousy, "--Yes, that's what it is all right."
Festus looked at Kitty in shock, and started to deny it, but she kicked him under the table, and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly.
Rose bristled, and licked her lips, her voice going flat with anger, "What'll ya have?"
Kitty smiled, "I'll have coffee and toast, please."
Festus swallowed hard, not liking the fire he could plainly see in Rose's eyes. He pulled his hand away from Kitty, looking at her as though she had lost her mind. Rose glared at him, growing impatient waiting for his order.
"Well?"
Festus couldn't look at her.
"I'll just have coffee, Miss Rose."
She stormed back toward the kitchen. Kitty brushed the top of his hand with hers.
"Just coffee? That doesn't sound like the Festus I know."
His eyes flicked up to hers, "I just ain't hungry is all."
Kitty felt a pang of guilt. Festus looked like he'd been kicked hard in the stomach, and she knew it was because Rose had been testy with him. And that was solely because Kitty was making it look like they were courting.
"Rose does seem a little unhappy with you this morning, doesn't she..."
"Maybe she don't like the way I look. I knowed you wanted a right proper es- y-corry, but maybe--"
"--Festus, your look very handsome, so I doubt that's what's bothering her."
"Then whut in tarnation's the matter with that girl?"
"She's jealous, Festus. She thinks we're together."
"Well that's the silliest thang I ever did heared."
"You and I know that, but look around, no one else in here seems to...."
Festus glanced around and realized that he and Kitty were not only being watched and stared at, but were the main topic of conversation in Delmonico's. His eyes darted back to Kitty.
"Whut in the world's wrong with ev'rybody?"
Kitty smiled, "People like good gossip, Festus. That's all." She took his hand in hers again, "You obviously care about Rose..... and judging from her reaction to me, I think it safe to say she likes you too. Why don't you ask her out?"
Before he could answer, the door to Delmonico's opened, and all eyes flew to the big man filling the entryway. He looked over at the talk of the town, and glared at Festus and Kitty. Festus yanked his hand away, and looked down at the table. Kitty turned and realized why the deputy had gone a shade white that most men don't turn until they're face to face with death itself.
"Oh damn...."
Matt Dillon walked over to the table and tipped his hat to Kitty.
"Miss Russell," then he turned to Festus, almost unable to get over how different the man looked, "Deputy Haggen." He paused, allowing them to squirm slightly, "Nice morning for breakfast isn't it?"
Kitty could tell from his tone that he wasn't angry; as a matter of fact, he had already deduced what she was up to, and he was barely able to conceal the grin on his face. She looked him straight in the eyes.
"Mornin' marshal. Nice to see you."
Matt had all he could do to keep from laughing. Then he noticed how uncomfortable Festus was, and he realized that his deputy thought he was actually angry. He leaned down on the table with his fists, and moved close to Festus, his voice low.
"How did they talk you into this, Festus? You smell like a flower garden..."
"T-they?"
"Doc and Kitty."
Festus finally looked up at Matt, and detected the amusement in the bright blue eyes. He let out a long sigh of air.
"Matthew, I done cain't say how it happened, but ya see, after Miss Kitty invited me to breakfast, she done tolt me I had to look like her es-y-cor- y, and then she took me to Clem's, but he wasn't thar, but ol' Doc was, and he threw me in a tub, and he started a-soapin' and a-scrubbin' like I was some kinda old dog, yessir, and then Miss Kitty took a razor to my face, barely leavin' me no skin, and a-pourin' some kinda smellin' stuff a-all over me.... Then she brung me over here and started a-pretendin' we was some kinda twosome or somethin' and then Miss Rose, why she don't have the time of day fer me and--"
Matt held up his hand to stop the filibuster, "Okay, okay. I've got the picture." He looked at Russell, "You just remember what I said last night." He patted the deputy on the shoulder, "I'll see you over at the office later, Festus."
Matt tipped his hat to Kitty once more, turned and left the restaurant. The last thing he needed was to watch a train wreck in motion, especially when he knew that the casualty in all of it was going to be Festus. As he walked down Front Street, he caught sight of Doc.
"Doc! Hey Doc!"
The older man stopped and turned, "Good mornin' Matt."
"I just saw Festus and Kitty over at Delmonico's...."
"Now Matt, before you go and--"
"--I ain't goin' to say anything, except to remind you what I said last night: Festus is easily hurt, and I think the two of you should be careful."
The two of them started walking toward Matt's office.
Doc's voice held a tint of pride in it, "He looked damned good though, didn't he?"
"Barely recognized him as a matter of fact. But did you have to make him smell like some kind of flower garden?"
"That was Kitty's department, not mine. You'll have to speak to her about the way he smells." Doc smiled, "Any idea how Rose reacted?"
"According to Festus, she's not too pleased with him. But then, he and Kitty looked like they were there together."
"Yeah, that was a piece of brilliance, wasn't it? Kitty figured Rose might make a move if she saw that she had competition."
"Either that or she'll run for the hills. I sure hope you two know what you're doing." He stopped in front of the office door, "Coming in for some coffee?"
"Thought you'd never ask."
***********
Rose refilled his cup, and Festus looked away, feeling as though he wasn't a good enough man to make eye contact with her. Rose looked at Kitty.
"Can I getcha anything else?"
"No, thank you. Just the bill."
Rose slapped a piece of paper on the table, glared at Kitty and then walked away. Kitty reached into her bag and pulled out a dollar, setting it on the table.
"Come on Festus, let's go."
With his head hanging in shame, Festus followed Kitty out of Delmonico's; and while he didn't see it, he could feel the glare of Miss Rose Sullivan on his back. They walked in silence down Front Street, heading toward the Long Branch. Kitty threaded her hand through his elbow.
"You okay?"
"Yes ma'am."
She looked at him, and her heart felt heavy.
"You're a lousy liar, Festus, and I'm sorry."
"Yes ma'am."
She stopped him, and turned to face him, "Why don't you go back there and talk to her?"
"T'ain't nothin' to say, Miss Kitty."
"Sure there is, Festus. You just need to say it." She smiled at him, "It's obvious that you care about her, why don't you invite her out for a walk or something?"
"I don't think talkin's whut she wants to do to me right now. She seemed awful sore when we left Delmonico's."
"You just march right on back there, Festus, and ask that girl out. You look so handsome today, she won't be able to say no."
"You don't knowed that, Miss Kitty."
"I'm a woman, and I do know these things. Now go."
Against his better judgment, Festus headed back toward Delmonico's.
He watched her set the plate down in front of Doc with a grace that attracted him like no other, and her presence filled him with a warmth he had never known. She smiled at him slightly before walking back toward the kitchen, and he felt his cheeks flush with heat. Doc's left eyebrow shot up in amusement. Rose Sullivan had been living in Dodge City for a little over two months, and from the first day she had arrived, Festus had been like a love sick teenager. In a way Adams felt sorry for the deputy: the man would probably never work up the courage to court the woman, and such a pretty, young, single gal wouldn't be alone for long. But for now, watching the deputy try and cope with the emotions Rose evoked in him was entertainment enough for the old doctor.
Festus caught the look of amusement on Doc's face, "Now just what're you a- starin' at, you old scutter?"
Adams couldn't keep the laughter from his voice, "Nothing. Just somethin' akin to a love sick puppy dog, I suppose."
The deputy's lips pulled into a straight angry line, "You jes' keep your danged thoughts to yerself. I don't need to be a-hearin' 'em any more'n nobody else in Dodge. Ornery old goat...."
Festus dug his fork into his plate of greens and steak with a vengeance, and Adams had all he could do to keep from laughing aloud.
"You can't keep your eyes off of her, Festus. Why don't you ask the girl out for a stroll? Or if you can manage to part with a quarter, you could buy her a drink at the Long Branch."
Festus glared at Adams, "Are you suggestin' that Miss Rose ain't a lady?"
Doc scowled, "How the hell did you get that from what I said?"
"A feller don't take no lady to a saloon fer a drink. Miss Rose is a lady, and don't you forgit it neither."
Doc laughed, "I wasn't suggesting otherwise. And what's wrong with the Long Branch? Kitty runs it, and she's a lady."
Festus looked down into his food, "I weren't sayin' she wasn't....it's just, I don't have no mind to ask Miss Rose out nowhere anyhow."
Adams shook his head, "You're too stubborn for your own good. Or are you just afraid she might say no?"
The deputy squinted at the doctor, "Yer jes' tryin' to git me to ask her. I ain't a-goin' to do it."
"Give me one good reason why not?"
The woman in question interrupted the conversation, "Everything okay for you boys? Steaks done right?"
Festus smiled at her, "It's always good when you brung it, Miss Rose."
She smiled at him, her voice light and pleasant, "Why thank you Festus, that's the sweetest thing anybody's said to me all day."
"I cain't believe that, Miss Rose. Why if'n I was here all day, I'd have nothin' but sweet thangs to say."
Doc smiled at the woman, "As you can see, Rose, everything is just hunky- dory, except maybe the deputy's head; I think that's a little muddled."
Haggen glared at the doctor, while Rose frowned slightly, and placed a hand on his forehead, "Are you sick, Festus?"
He could barely speak with her hand on him, but he stuttered, "W-why n-no, Miss Rose, I ain't...."
Fully aware of her affect on him, she smiled.
"Well you boys let me know if you need anything else."
Festus watched her walk away, mesmerized by the view.
Doc shook his head, "I'll just never understand you."
Festus growled at the doctor, "You jes' mind your owned dag-blaned business; I don't wantcha a-messin' in mine."
The old physician shook his head in wonderment. Festus was completely taken with the woman, but his own fear of rejection would keep him from so much as striking up a conversation with her. It was ridiculous. Then again, Doc doubted that Deputy Festus Haggen had seen much luck with women during his lifetime. Of course, with a little soap, water, and a razor, Doc figured Festus probably wasn't a bad looking man; but then, they'd never know. He cut into his steak, and wondered how many more meals Festus was going to buy for him in his quest to have a reason to sit at a table in Delmonico's. It didn't really matter to Doc; a free meal was just that.
***********
The Long Branch was busy with customers. Sam was pouring whiskey after whiskey, and cowboys, farmers, and shopkeepers alike were enjoying the evening.
Doc took another sip of his beer, "You should have seen him, Kitty. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.....especially when she'd walk away from the table!"
Matt had to stifle a deep laugh, and Kitty swatted Adams on the arm.
"Doc! I'm ashamed of you, telling stories like that out of school." She grinned then, leaning in conspiratorially, "Did he ask her out yet?"
Adams waved a hand of dismissal through the air, "You can just forget that idea. That man will never build up the courage to even start a conversation with her, much less start courtin' her."
"Maybe he just needs the right kind of encouragement."
Matt felt sorry for his deputy, who was fast becoming a target for Doc and Kitty's version of cupid's arrow.
"Now listen you two, I don't think you should get involved in this. I mean, Festus is a grown man, with his own mind. If he wants to ask Rose out, he'll do just that without the two of you setting him up."
"We're just talking about making it a little easier for him, Matt, that's all."
The marshal shook his head, "And if Festus gets hurt, then what?"
"Come on, Matt," Doc argued, "Aren't you jumping the gun a little here?"
"If he's as attracted to Rose as you describe, no, I don't think I am. You two will set him up for rejection, and then what? Besides, this woman just moved to Dodge; what do we know about her?"
Kitty was incredulous, "Oh Matt, that is the most mistrustful thing I think I've ever heard you say! Festus is a grown man, not a child. It's about time you started treating him like one."
Matt's face grew red with anger, "I don't treat him like a child. Look, I just think we ought to leave him alone on this one...."
Doc's lips pursed together, considering, "Festus is a little naive where women are concerned, perhaps you're right, Matt."
Kitty wasn't convinced, "If he's that attracted to her, he should at least give it a shot.... besides, someone else might beat him to the punch, and then how will he feel?"
Adams looked at Dillon, "Kitty's got a point there, Matt. We both know the old boy's got a soft center, think how hurt he'll be if he just stands by while some other fella courts her."
The marshal took another swallow of beer, shaking his head, "Just remember, if Festus gets hurt, you two are responsible."
************
It was early in the morning, and Festus had just finished grooming Ruth. He walked out of the livery, and was heading toward Delmonico's for breakfast, when Kitty caught up with him. She looped her hand through his arm.
"Good morning, Festus."
He looked down at her hand, wondering what she was up to, "Miss Kitty..."
"How about if I buy you breakfast this morning?"
A big smile lit up his face, "That'd be right nice, Miss Kitty, but what's the occasionary?"
"Just the pleasure of your company."
"The what...?"
"I need you to do me a favor...."
Kitty led Festus over to the barber shop and bathhouse. As soon as he realized where they were going, the deputy tried to break away from her, but she had a death grip on his arm.
"Here now, Miss Kitty....jes' whut do you think you're a-doin'? I ain't goin' in thar, you know. Besides, it ain't open yet."
"Clem gave me the key. Festus, don't be as stubborn as your mule. If I'm going to take you to breakfast, then you need to look like my escort."
"Es-y-whut?"
"Escort -- a gentleman who accompanies a lady."
"Oh."
They stepped into the shop, and Doc was waiting. When Festus saw him, he knew he'd been had.
"You old scutter, what are you a-doin'?"
"Making you presentable. Now come on, and I don't wanna hear any complaining..."
Doc took Festus into a back room where there was a hot bath waiting for him. Kitty sat out front, trying not to laugh at the howls and growls emanating from behind the door. After about fifteen minutes, the two of them emerged, and she was astonished. Festus was shiny from head to toe, dressed in the clean clothes Doc had brought with him, and poor Doc was wet, and madder than a hornet.
"Never again."
"Doc?"
"It was like trying to wash a mangy mutt. Every time I got the soap on him, he started to shake it off!"
Festus tried to defend himself, "You old goat, you kept a-gittin' it in my eyes, and my ears, and betwixt other places I ain't even goin' mention in front of Miss Kitty."
Kitty tried not to laugh, and Doc looked as though he might take a switch to the deputy.
"Come on, Festus, a good shave will complete this transformation."
Reluctantly, Festus sat in a chair, and allowed Kitty to work on him. She placed hot towels on his face, and then a rich lather, that felt silky to him. Gently she massaged the lather into the stiff whiskers on his face, and she felt him relax slightly. After a few minutes, handling the blade with ease, she lifted all the scratchy bristle from his face. When she was finished, she poured some after shave in her hands, rubbed them together, and then softly rubbed it into his skin, patting him dry with a towel. She ran the back of her hand down his cheek.
"Now that's as smooth as a baby's bottom."
Doc ran a hand across the deputy's face, and leaned in close, "You're lucky she left you with your skin."
Festus almost jumped out of the chair, reaching for his old, dirty hat. Kitty grabbed it before he could put it on his clean head.
"Try this one, partner...."
She placed a new gambler's hat on his head, and then she cocked it slightly to the left.
"There. That should just about do it."
The three of them stepped out of Clem Richard's shop, and walked toward Delmonico's, getting looks from every citizen of Dodge that they passed. Doc stopped in mid step.
"Damn...... I almost forgot. I can't go to breakfast, I have an early appointment." He winked at Kitty, and then walked away, calling, "See you two later."
Festus allowed Kitty to take his arm again, and he held the door for her at Delmonico's. All conversation stopped dead when they entered, the good people of Dodge flabbergasted not only by the deputy's appearance, but also the sight of Kitty and Festus alone together.
One of the homesteader's called out, "Hey Festus.....your new look get you a new gal?"
Festus barked at the man, "You mind yer tongue, Walter."
He held out a chair for Kitty, and then sat down across the table from her. Rose walked over, her face red with jealousy.
"Morning deputy, Miss Russell."
"Howdy Miss Rose."
"You look mighty nice today, Festus. Is it your birthday?"
"No ma'am."
"Miss Russell's birthday?"
Kitty spoke up, "Happily, it's not."
Rose looked again at Festus, "A date then, huh?"
"Well, I don't think we should call it a--"
Kitty broke in before Festus could ruin her plan to illicit some jealousy, "--Yes, that's what it is all right."
Festus looked at Kitty in shock, and started to deny it, but she kicked him under the table, and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly.
Rose bristled, and licked her lips, her voice going flat with anger, "What'll ya have?"
Kitty smiled, "I'll have coffee and toast, please."
Festus swallowed hard, not liking the fire he could plainly see in Rose's eyes. He pulled his hand away from Kitty, looking at her as though she had lost her mind. Rose glared at him, growing impatient waiting for his order.
"Well?"
Festus couldn't look at her.
"I'll just have coffee, Miss Rose."
She stormed back toward the kitchen. Kitty brushed the top of his hand with hers.
"Just coffee? That doesn't sound like the Festus I know."
His eyes flicked up to hers, "I just ain't hungry is all."
Kitty felt a pang of guilt. Festus looked like he'd been kicked hard in the stomach, and she knew it was because Rose had been testy with him. And that was solely because Kitty was making it look like they were courting.
"Rose does seem a little unhappy with you this morning, doesn't she..."
"Maybe she don't like the way I look. I knowed you wanted a right proper es- y-corry, but maybe--"
"--Festus, your look very handsome, so I doubt that's what's bothering her."
"Then whut in tarnation's the matter with that girl?"
"She's jealous, Festus. She thinks we're together."
"Well that's the silliest thang I ever did heared."
"You and I know that, but look around, no one else in here seems to...."
Festus glanced around and realized that he and Kitty were not only being watched and stared at, but were the main topic of conversation in Delmonico's. His eyes darted back to Kitty.
"Whut in the world's wrong with ev'rybody?"
Kitty smiled, "People like good gossip, Festus. That's all." She took his hand in hers again, "You obviously care about Rose..... and judging from her reaction to me, I think it safe to say she likes you too. Why don't you ask her out?"
Before he could answer, the door to Delmonico's opened, and all eyes flew to the big man filling the entryway. He looked over at the talk of the town, and glared at Festus and Kitty. Festus yanked his hand away, and looked down at the table. Kitty turned and realized why the deputy had gone a shade white that most men don't turn until they're face to face with death itself.
"Oh damn...."
Matt Dillon walked over to the table and tipped his hat to Kitty.
"Miss Russell," then he turned to Festus, almost unable to get over how different the man looked, "Deputy Haggen." He paused, allowing them to squirm slightly, "Nice morning for breakfast isn't it?"
Kitty could tell from his tone that he wasn't angry; as a matter of fact, he had already deduced what she was up to, and he was barely able to conceal the grin on his face. She looked him straight in the eyes.
"Mornin' marshal. Nice to see you."
Matt had all he could do to keep from laughing. Then he noticed how uncomfortable Festus was, and he realized that his deputy thought he was actually angry. He leaned down on the table with his fists, and moved close to Festus, his voice low.
"How did they talk you into this, Festus? You smell like a flower garden..."
"T-they?"
"Doc and Kitty."
Festus finally looked up at Matt, and detected the amusement in the bright blue eyes. He let out a long sigh of air.
"Matthew, I done cain't say how it happened, but ya see, after Miss Kitty invited me to breakfast, she done tolt me I had to look like her es-y-cor- y, and then she took me to Clem's, but he wasn't thar, but ol' Doc was, and he threw me in a tub, and he started a-soapin' and a-scrubbin' like I was some kinda old dog, yessir, and then Miss Kitty took a razor to my face, barely leavin' me no skin, and a-pourin' some kinda smellin' stuff a-all over me.... Then she brung me over here and started a-pretendin' we was some kinda twosome or somethin' and then Miss Rose, why she don't have the time of day fer me and--"
Matt held up his hand to stop the filibuster, "Okay, okay. I've got the picture." He looked at Russell, "You just remember what I said last night." He patted the deputy on the shoulder, "I'll see you over at the office later, Festus."
Matt tipped his hat to Kitty once more, turned and left the restaurant. The last thing he needed was to watch a train wreck in motion, especially when he knew that the casualty in all of it was going to be Festus. As he walked down Front Street, he caught sight of Doc.
"Doc! Hey Doc!"
The older man stopped and turned, "Good mornin' Matt."
"I just saw Festus and Kitty over at Delmonico's...."
"Now Matt, before you go and--"
"--I ain't goin' to say anything, except to remind you what I said last night: Festus is easily hurt, and I think the two of you should be careful."
The two of them started walking toward Matt's office.
Doc's voice held a tint of pride in it, "He looked damned good though, didn't he?"
"Barely recognized him as a matter of fact. But did you have to make him smell like some kind of flower garden?"
"That was Kitty's department, not mine. You'll have to speak to her about the way he smells." Doc smiled, "Any idea how Rose reacted?"
"According to Festus, she's not too pleased with him. But then, he and Kitty looked like they were there together."
"Yeah, that was a piece of brilliance, wasn't it? Kitty figured Rose might make a move if she saw that she had competition."
"Either that or she'll run for the hills. I sure hope you two know what you're doing." He stopped in front of the office door, "Coming in for some coffee?"
"Thought you'd never ask."
***********
Rose refilled his cup, and Festus looked away, feeling as though he wasn't a good enough man to make eye contact with her. Rose looked at Kitty.
"Can I getcha anything else?"
"No, thank you. Just the bill."
Rose slapped a piece of paper on the table, glared at Kitty and then walked away. Kitty reached into her bag and pulled out a dollar, setting it on the table.
"Come on Festus, let's go."
With his head hanging in shame, Festus followed Kitty out of Delmonico's; and while he didn't see it, he could feel the glare of Miss Rose Sullivan on his back. They walked in silence down Front Street, heading toward the Long Branch. Kitty threaded her hand through his elbow.
"You okay?"
"Yes ma'am."
She looked at him, and her heart felt heavy.
"You're a lousy liar, Festus, and I'm sorry."
"Yes ma'am."
She stopped him, and turned to face him, "Why don't you go back there and talk to her?"
"T'ain't nothin' to say, Miss Kitty."
"Sure there is, Festus. You just need to say it." She smiled at him, "It's obvious that you care about her, why don't you invite her out for a walk or something?"
"I don't think talkin's whut she wants to do to me right now. She seemed awful sore when we left Delmonico's."
"You just march right on back there, Festus, and ask that girl out. You look so handsome today, she won't be able to say no."
"You don't knowed that, Miss Kitty."
"I'm a woman, and I do know these things. Now go."
Against his better judgment, Festus headed back toward Delmonico's.
