"John Oliver Cooper Kirkland the third, if you are not downstairs within the next three minutes, you are going to die!" A shout rang out through out the Kirkland household, and said boy was downstairs faster than ever before, knowing he was in deep shit for his full name was called.

His older sisterr, and "guardian", Alice stood in front of him, her arms crossed over her chest.

"What?" The young male replied, his hands shoving into his pockets as he looked at his brother, "And it's Jack to you, princess."

"Well then, Jack, you can explain to Madeleine how your lovely little pet, got into her dance room." And with that Alice turned and headed back into the kitchen to "cook" dinner.

Jack groaned as his brother left him, before heading to Madeleine's "studio", to get his pet out of there and then come up with an excuse as to why his animal was in there in the first place.

"C'mere Miki, you know you're not supposed to be in here, or else Madeleine said she's gonna sell you to the neighbours." Jack said as he grabbed the animal, which was laying atop one of Madeleine's skirts, after having torn it to shreds.

Miki was not a regular dog, but rather a Fennec Fox. A gift from Jack's tenth birthday as an apology for "pulling him out of Australia and sending him to America to live with the stuffiest people in the world." Well, Allison was cool when she wasn't screaming, which was all the time, and Madeleine cooked him anything he wanted, so she was cool too.

Said fox looked at Jack before rearranging itself in his arms so that his head was resting on Jack's shoulder. "You're just a little baby, aren't you?" Jack asked as he cooed to the dog.

It was manly, cooing to your dog! He had seen Allison do it to that girly dog of hers, Tony or whatever it's name was. So, if Allison could do it, then Jack could do it, and his wasn't even a dog, it was a fox, so it was, like, ten times cooler.

"…And you you know what they did, Ivan, they kissed! Can you believe that?" Speak of the devil, there was Allison herself, talking to her hulking "boyfriend", Ivan.

"Oi, could you keep it down just for once? I mean really," Jack tried to yell at his sister, but it went ignored as she continued to complain; only this time she called Alice out.

The entire time, Jack kept his eyes on Ivan, making sure the Russian didn't try anything. Not that Jack could really do anything about it, since Ivan was twice his size, and far more intimidating than he let on.

"Can you believe it, Alice, they were kissing. And he's walking her home!" Jack perked his ears up at that. Who was his crazy sister talking about? Probably one of her friends, like Yongju, who was just as crazy, or Alice's boyfriend, Francis, a greasy French dude.

All of his questions were answered though when he saw it with his own eyes. His sister, Madeleine, sweet, nice Madeleine, who made pancakes whenever he asked, and let Miki do whatever he wanted. His sister, Madeleine, was kissing someone. Not just anyone though, but Gilbert Beilschmidt.

When they pulled away, Gilbert smirked, laughing softly before pressing his lips against hers again. Why wasn't Madeleine resisting? When people you didn't like kissed you, you were supposed to resist!

When she pulled back once more, Jack did what any proper brother would do. Although he couldn't have protected Allison and Alice from their creepy or perverted boyfriends, he could protect Madeleine from this guy.

Placing his dog down, Jack dived at the other, pushing Gilbert away from his sister and tackling the albino to the ground, "Stay away from my sister!" He shouted, his hands swinging as he hit the other the best he could.


"And so then, the crazy kid tackles me! He tackles me and punches me and hits me and tells me to 'Stay away from his sister'. Can you believe this shit Luddy?" Gilbert complained as his brother put rubbing alcohol on his older brother's scrapes and cuts.

"Ve~ I can't believe that Jack could do anything like that. He always seems like such a nice kid when I go over to spend the night with Ally, he even lets me play with his dog~." Feliciana piped up, a look of worry on her face as Ludwig tended to his brother's "battle scars".

"Maybe you shouldn't have kissed her in front of her family, Bruder, especially considering who her siblings are." Ludwig wasn't as supportive as Feliciana, and it was quite obvious.

"Hey if I want to kiss my own girlfriend, I can do so!" Gilbert tried to argue back, but it was not worth it, especially when Ludwig pressed a cotton ball against one of his scrapes and made him hiss. "Watch what you're doing, Luddy, you're supposed to be taking care of me!"

At Gilbert's words, Ludwig smirked and just pressed the cotton ball harder, wanting to sting the other as much as possible.


"And another thing, don't think that something like that is okay! Tackling someone, no matter who they are, is inappropriate!" Madeleine had been lecturing Jack for a good ten minute straight, and by now they were the only ones there.

"But he was kissing you!" Jack tried to counter her words, but he knew that it wouldn't really work.

"And so what? You don't tackle Francis, and you sure as hell don't tackle Ivan!" Madeleine yelled at the other, although her yell was more like regular speech for anyone, and a whisper compared to her sister's voice.

At her words, Jack sat there and crossed his arms over his chest, no other words really coming to mind.

"And another thing, you need to clean up behind your fox, I'm tired of him peeing all over the place and you not taking care of it. Let the dog out when you're going to school, it's not okay to just let him do whatever he wanted! And another thing…" As Madeleine continued, Jack tried to keep a straight face. He wasn't like Allison, he wasn't going to falter as Madeleine pointed out all his faults.

"Do you have anything you want to say?" When Madeleine finally finished pointing out every flaw the young male had, she crossed her arms over her chest, eyeing her brother as if almost daring him to speak.

Jack shook his head before heading up to his room, leaving Miki downstairs for now, deciding it would be best to get away from her as quickly as possible. As he headed to his room, he stopped when he saw two figures moving rather provocatively on Alice's bed. He really tried to ignore it, but as a brother, the only one at that, it was his duty to protect his sister's as best he could. Especially if it was from French molesters.

"Unhand her you pervert!" That phrase didn't alert Francis enough before he was pulled off of Alice. Hopefully, Alice would appreciate his "brotherly actions", and reward him with good food.

She was probably going to do the exact opposite of rewarding him, though.