DUCKS IN A ROW
Copyright 2008 Q Illespont
All characters trademark their appropriate owners
Chapter 1
Darkwing Duck walked into the familiar office. He walked to what he'd started thinking of his chair, and looked across the desk at the office's occupant.
'Hello again, Principal Farnsworth,' he said. He hoped it was for an award ceremony for his daughter, but knew better. 'How's Gosalyn doing lately?'
'It's what I wanted to talk to you about,' the other duck said. She reached into her desk and withdrew a distressingly large file folder. 'I know Gosalyn's a good kid at heart, but she does tend to be very ... well ... ' She seemed to struggle for a word.
'Spirited?' Darkwing suggested. He tried to suppress a smile.
'Exactly,' Farnsworth said. 'Well, while I do admire a spirited girl, I'm getting more and more worried about it turning ... well, aggressive. We do encourage girls to be as active as boys if they want to, but Gosalyn seems to go further.'
'How so?'
Farnsworth sighed and reviewed her notes. 'She doesn't really hang around with any of the girls, outside of school sports. And then there's her performance while playing. Again, very aggressive for a young girl.'
Darkwing looked quickly over Farnsworth's papers. Most seemed to be related to what she was saying, even including notes on how Gosalyn consistently had the most penalty minutes in the hockey league, or tended to intimidate some of the other players when charging at them in soccer. 'She doesn't back down easily, I know,' he said. He caught a few letters on one more item, but it was covered by other papers.
'I know we talked about parenting techniques earlier,' the principal continued. 'However, certain situations might have an influence, like her home environment. Maybe I should have our counsellor visit your home sometime to see how things are there? He might be able to find some things you may have overlooked, Mr Mallard.'
Darkwing tried to hide his panic. While hardly illegal, he vastly preferred people not find some of the other things in his home--like his spare costume or the secret portal to Darkwing Tower. 'Maybe I can just get the little darling signed up for community service?' he tried.
'Don't worry, Mr Mallard. This isn't meant as an audit, just as a way to help you and Gosalyn,' the principal said. 'I'll have Dr Foxtail set up a good time to visit.'
'Um,' Darkwing stammered, 'yeah. Make sure he calls first.'
Farnsworth looked to him. 'Why's that?' she asked.
'Because ... um ... I work nights,' he replied. Mostly truthful, anyway. He added a yawn to emphasise the truth. 'I do my best, but I do need my rest.'
Farnsworth nodded, and wrote a quick line on her notes. 'I'll make sure he knows. Thank you for your time, Mr Mallard.'
'No problem,' Darkwing lied as he left.
--
Gosalyn smiled her sweetest, most innocent smile to her father as he climbed into the car. 'So, how'd it go?' she asked.
'Gos,' Darkwing sighed, 'they wanna send someone over to check us out.'
'Why?' she asked.
'A file in the principal's office as thick as Launchpad ring a bell?' he replied. 'I told you to be more careful in school.'
Gosalyn fumed, folding her arms angrily. 'It's the same everywhere, Dad! You said I should try creativity, anyway!'
'I didn't say what they were worried about, Gos.' Darkwing watched his daughter struggle to make up an excuse, then let her off the hook. 'It's your sports. They say you tend to be a little rough out there.'
'It's not my fault that guy's beak got in the way of my hockey stick!' Gosalyn protested. 'And body checks are perfectly legal, too!'
'Either way,' Darkwing said, 'they're sending the counsellor to the house. At least he'll call ahead, so until then we've got some cleaning to do, young lady.'
'A messy room is a normal part of childhood too, you know,' Gosalyn protested.
'Not that.'
--
The tall red fox reviewed his notebook. He'd been assigned to this part of Saint Canard for some time, and reviewed the checkpoints he would need to cover. Parent-child relation, environment, neighbours and their influence, and so on. He never did like having to call the subjects of a case; a lingering suspicion in his mind suggested that whitewash sales rose in local stores shortly after the call.
He walked up to the door and knocked. A few crashes were heard inside; he imagined ladders and mop buckets being hastily crammed into closets. A second knock brought a tall bird to the door. 'Uh, Mallard residence,' the man said.
'I'm Dr Jeff Foxtail. Are you Drake Mallard?' he asked.
The other man chuckled, adjusting the flight cap. 'Aw, no. I'm Launchpad McQuack! DW's a bit busy at the moment, but he said you'd be by. Come on in!'
Foxtail wrote a few notes. 'McQuack ... you're the guy that hangs around with the weirdo, isn't it?'
'What weirdo?' Launchpad asked as he guided the visitor to the living room. 'Anyway, go ahead and have a seat.'
'Thank you,' Dr Foxtail said, and walked to a comfortable-looking recliner against the far wall.
'NO!' Launchpad yelled, and ran over to stop the doctor. He tripped over the rug, crashed through the coffee table, rolled a few metres, and sprawled at the fox's feet. 'You can't sit there!'
'Why not?' Foxtail asked, staring at the downed pelican. He looked again at the chair in question, and idly traced a finger along a statuette on the table nearby.
'Because it's broken--something there's just not working right!' he heard in another voice. As Fostail turned, he saw a duck in the hallway; apparently he had been upstairs when he'd arrived. 'It's too dangerous to sit there.'
'Unsafe furniture?' Foxtail asked, marking his notebook.
Darkwing waved his hands to try to swat away any shadow of a doubt. 'Of course not!' he yelled. 'Nothing here would hurt that sweet delicate flower that is my daughter!'
Foxtail nodded. 'So you're Drake Mallard, then?' He helped Launchpad to his feet.
Darkwing bowed. 'Yes, that's me. Drake Mallard, devoted father and excellent guardian. And you are?'
'Dr Jeff Foxtail.' He shook Darkwing's hand. 'I called earlier, and Mr McQuack let me in. Is Gosalyn home, too?'
'Well, she's outside playing in good-natured fun,' Darkwing said, trying to force as much sugar into the statement as he could.
'Without parental supervision?'
Darkwing gulped. 'Um, you see, I ... '
Launchpad looked out the window. 'Ah, don't worry, DW. The Muddlefoots are watchin'. Just Gos and Honker and Tank goin' at it.'
Darkwing shudderred--he imagined the trial. 'Had you just abandoned her, we'd settle for life imprisonment. But you left her to THEM? It's the chair for you, Mallard!' the judge's voice echoed. He grabbed the counsellor's wrist and dragged him out of the house.
Outside, he panted. 'See? Perfectly safe playing while responsible adults watch over them.' He looked to Foxtail, who seemed intent on what was going on in front of him. Darkwing blinked, and turned to see, and gaped in shock.
In front of him, Binky Muddlefoot was puttering in her garden, and Honker was standing near her, looking across the yard at the other two ducklings. What had gotten Foxtail's attention was what Tank and Gosalyn were doing.
The two children were obviously furiously going at each other, leaving torn-up grass and mud in their wake. The trail of destruction started near a football, now lying unattended; the ducklings seemed more intent on preventing the other from advancing rather than claiming the ball, and as such had lost track of where the scrum had wandered to.
'GOSALYN! TANK! WILL YOU TWO STOP THAT!' Darkwing yelled, running over. Once the two heard his voice, they stopped--Tank in mid-knee to the gut, Gosalyin halfway through a headbutt. 'What do you two think you're doing?'
'Hustling for a loose ball?' Gosalyn sheepishly tried. Tank backed away as well.
'HOW many times have I told you two that fighting for a loose ball doesn't mean actual FIGHTING? Gosalyn, just because I let you take boxing lessons doesn't mean you get to punch the other players!'
'It's just Tank!' she protested.
'Hey, you threw the first elbow!' Tank replied. The two then decended into an argument over who did what, which soon escalated into shoving. Darkwing moved to get between the two when he winced at a high trilling voice.
'Tank, Gosalyn, wouldn't you two like some chocolate-chip cookies I baked?' Binky said as she approached the quarreling children. She offerred her plate to the mud-caked children, who sheepishly took a few from her, and with a glare at each other, walked back to their respective front doors.
Darkwing followed his daughter, making sure she took off her sneakers before tracking mud into the house. After he closed the door behind her, he heard a book snap shut. Turning, he looked to see Dr Foxtail putting his book away. 'I think I've seen enough here, Mr Mallard. I'll be on my way.'
'Wait!' Darkwing said as the doctor stepped into his car. 'I can explain! It's not what you think!'
Foxtail rolled down his window. 'I'm quite certain it is, Mr Mallard. Thank you for your time.' He drove away, leaving Darkwing on his knees watching the car recede into the distance.
--
Darkwing and Gosalyn sat in Principal Farnsworth's office that Saturday, both nervous. This time it wasn't detention on their minds, but the report in the principal's hands, as well as the counsellor standing nearby.
'Well,' the principal said, 'Dr Foxtail's report does shed some more light on the situation. I've also requested some other information, from before you'd adopted Gosalyn as well.'
'You got my orphanage records?' Gosalyn asked.
'Yes, Gosalyn. We needed to get a complete picture of not only your home life, but events that shaped you when you were younger.'
'And?' Darkwing asked. He held Gosalyn's hand tightly. Dr Foxtail looked at the scene, then to Darkwing's and Goslayn's eyes, but said nothing else.
Farnsworth shook the papers on her desk, straightening them out, and filed them in Gosalyn's folder. 'He found that there are some unusual aspects of your home life, including this Mr McQuack. He's concerned about him, and I do wonder why he's in your home. You do know about his kind, right?'
'What are you implying?' Darkwing yelled.
'I know, I know. It's not easy having a crimefighter's sidekick in the house, although we can at least assume that given this information, Darkwing Duck would keep a closer eye on your home. Not the most stable influence, but if nothing else, should events turn unfavourable, there is recourse; he has shown an interest in Gosalyn's well-being before. I think he has a soft spot for her, and as such helps add a layer of security.
'Then there's the matter of her contacts with organised crime,' she continued. 'Again, based on what we've researched, typically someone with a childhood as ... eventful as Gosalyn's would fall into a life of crime herself, but it seems that you and Mr McQuack are keeping her in line.'
Darkwing smiled pridefully. 'Yep, yep yep.' Gosalyn looked relieved as well.
'Dr Foxtail also described what he found in the house itself, aside from you and Mr McQuack. Apparently there's some dangerous items around, including a chair unsafe for seating, and a destroyed coffee table.'
'The table was destroyed during my visit, actually,' Foxtail clarified.
'Oh, right. And then there was the fight between Gosalyn and a neighbour's child.'
'I can explain!' 'It wasn't my fault!' 'I meant to be watching!' 'It was just good clean fun!' Both Mallards fired line after line in defence.
'Please, please, settle down!' Principal Farnsworth asked. Darkwing and Gosalyn receded into their seats, their nightmares of separation briefly replaced by the ancient fear of detention. 'Now, Mr Mallard, Gosalyn ... it seems that in the judgement of Dr Foxtail, your home situation is satisfactory.'
Gosalyn flushed red with anger. 'What? Satisfactory? I'll--' Any further protest was silenced as Darkwing held her beak shut.
'You've done a pretty good job, Mr Mallard,' Dr Foxtail added. 'While Gosalyn is rather rough around the edges, we don't see her being a real hazard. Personally, it seems much of her behaviour is from her unstable earlier life and a desire to impose control and stability. Odd as it may sound, your home is helping provide that stability. Continue your good work, Mr Mallard.'
Gosalyn by now had started paying more attention to what was said; she'd already been on a hair trigger, and almost anything would've set her off. Once comprehension dawned, she pushed her father's hands away and smiled. 'Keen gear,' she said. 'I've got a normal stable family!'
'We wouldn't go that far, Gosalyn,' Farnsworth retorted. 'Still, I think we're done here for today. Thank you for your time.'
'You'rewelcomehaveanicedayseeya!' Gosalyn said, now dragging her father out of the office; Farnsworth and Foxtail were sure that if she missed the door, she would've knocked the wall down in her relieved rush.
--
Darkwing dug his heels in as they passed a bank of lockers. 'Calm down, Gosalyn!' he said. 'The authorities said everything was fine! We're gonna go get dinner from Hamburger Hippo, then hit the barn.'
'Think we can just eat at home tonight, Dad?' Gosalyn asked. Darkwing was sure that she gave the word 'Home' a slight emphasis.
'Sure, slugger,' he said. 'If you do the dishes afterward.'
'Deal' she said, dragging him on. Darkwing chuckled; she was intent on getting back. And he got a night off of dishwashing duty too.
As she pulled him out the main entrance, he saw Herb Muddlefoot standing around, admiring the announcement board and some of the art projects posted nearby. He winced at the idea of meeting Herb here, and remembered to let off on his resistance; Gosalyn's rush to get home would be a fitting excuse to avoid contact.
It didn't help as Herb grabbed him in a neighbourly hug. 'Well, hi there, Drakeroonie!' Herb yelled, causing Darkwing to wince. He was caught by an unthinkable object and pulled by an irresistable force. 'What brings you here?'
'Just a chat with the principal, Herb,' he managed. 'You?'
'Same thing. They wanted to talk about helping my kid out too. Something about his grades, I think. I don't remember.'
'No surprise,' Darkwing said. He wriggled, and noticed that even with the added load, Gosalyn had still dragged the pile out of the building. He made a few more calculated shifts, learned long ago, allowed for the pull on his arm, and was soon flying out of Herb's arms.
In fact, he and Gosalyn landed in a heap some distance away. They got up and shook off, Gosalyn looking sheepishly back to him. 'Sorry, Dad,' she said.
'It's OK, Gos,' he answered, and called back to Herb. 'We'll talk later!' Much later, he thought to himself, and got in his car. Herb waved back to them; Darkwing had turned up the radio to drown out any other comment or promise from his neighbour.
'Swell guy,' Herb said, watching Darkwing and Gosalyn leave.
Standing outside, he couldn't see the lights flicker inside. And the scream was from deep in the basement, and thus had no chance to reach him had he stayed inside.
