"So," the owner said. She leaned forward on her desk and folded her carefully manicured hands. "You don't think Bella looks a lot like you? I mean, a lot."

"Oh, I never noticed," the black-haired woman said. She studied the scarlet nail polish of the woman sitting in front of her. It really suited her red lips and pale skin. This woman had the impossible beauty of a vampire in her novels.

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Pale skin, dark brown hair, widow's peak, brown eyes. Are you describing yourself? Cause it sure sounds like it."

"No," Miss Meyer insisted. "Bella has a heart-shaped face."

"Oh, of course." There was a barely veiled sarcastic note in her voice. "You mean it's an idealised version of yourself?"

"You mean I'm not allowed to model the main character after myself?" She was getting a bit annoyed. She hadn't come here for criticism about stuff that was quite obvious to her.

"There is a thing called 'too much authorial presence'."

"Well, the story came to me in a dream," she bounced back. "What did you expect?"

"Yeah, you shouldn't say that, even if it is true."

"Why not?" She asked, completely oblivious.

"It's incredibly offensive. We're sitting here, writing and editing for months going through dozens of revisions and you're gonna claim you made it all up in one dream? I wouldn't phrase it like that if I were you, it's like you're implying writing a novel is super easy. Just transcribe one dream, piece of cake, anyone could do it."

Miss Meyer shrugged. "I hardly think that will be the biggest problem."

"Yeah, you got a point there." The blonde woman said. She pushed her glasses higher up and went through her notes. A sigh escaped her lips.

"Is it such a big problem?" Miss Meyer asked, worried.

"Look. There is certainly an audience for this, don't worry. The problem will be like, everyone who's not a crazy fangirl. Bella's entire life revolves around Edward. You don't think that kinda sends the wrong message? You're implying finding a perfect partner is the meaning of life."

"Well, it's a romantic story."

"Yeah, about that." She put a loose lock behind her ear. "Please enlighten me on your definition of romance. He watches her while she sleeps. That sounds creepy."

"It's super romantic, trust me."

"If you say so. It's paedophelia by the way."

"What? No it isn't." Where did she get that?

"He's 103 and she's 17. Sounds like paedophelia if you ask me."

But no one ever asks me, do they?

"But, he looks seventeen," she insisted.

"That's not how this works," the blonde woman said, once again shifting her glasses. "The problem is not with the ages but with the massive power difference between them. Edward is an immortal vampire that can read minds is insanely hot and super rich, while Bella is just some clumsy teenage girl. Are you trying to write some crazy BDSM-story?"

"I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you really think I would write anything like that?" She seemed offended by the very idea.

"Someone will. In some kind of fan fic. Maybe they'll even change the names and publish it." This thing would spark some interesting things. Maybe even a genderbend story. That would be fun.

"I hope not. That sounds terrible," Miss Meyer said.

The other woman shrugged. As if she had any say in that. "While we're on the topic of your moron...sorry, Mormon lifestyle. It's uhm, a bit too obvious. You're forcing your own world view into the story."

"I don't quite understand."

She really was oblivious. The blonde woman took a deep breath. "No sex before marriage, really? Come on, that sounds awfully Christian. Not to mentions Edwards crap about her 'soul' he's trying to save. And that apple on the cover looks a lot like the forbidden fruit. Hell, you even put a quote from Genesis at the beginning. And what is this: 'But never, in the nearly four hundred years now since I was born, have I ever seen anything to make me doubt whether God exists in some form or the other.' That doesn't sound like Carlisle. It's okay to include Christian things in your novel, if they add something. But you're letting an eighteen year old girl marry just because you're personally against sex before marriage."

"Well, their relationship is the forbidden fruit," she said. She was shifting uncomfortably in her seat. The blonde woman noticed she was deliberately going on about the apple-part.

"Why?"

"Well, he's a vampire and-"

"He can't just change her can he? Please give me one disadvantage of being an immortal, impossibly beautiful creature that can jump over a house with ease."

"There is the thirst for human blood." Her defence was not very convincing.

"Seems like a very small price to pay. And I haven't seen any vampire hunters anywhere. The only ones to fear are the Volturi, but their rules seem quite easy to follow. Being a vampire sounds too amazing and Bella herself agrees on this. It doesn't make sense Bella doesn't become a vampire straight away."

"Well Edward doesn't want to change her because he doesn't believe in an afterlife for their kind."

"She doesn't need Edward. Carlisle could do it, or someone else. You did mention there were other 'vegetarian' vampires as well."

"But do they have enough self control to stop once they are feeding? Besides, she wants Edward to be the one to change her."

"Given the amount of vampires, it doesn't really add up. If it's so hard to stop when feeding, then there should hardly be any vampires out there. But they have a whole secret society with rules and the Volturi to enforce them. And we're talking about real vampires here, not some 'vegetarians'. Even if she doesn't want to be changed by anyone else, she could still pressure Edward with it. She could make demands of him and threaten to make Carlisle or anyone else turn her if he didn't comply. But she never did. She just went along with every crazy request Edward gave her. And he never kept up his end of the bargain. She was only changed when he was completely out of options and she was basically dead."

Miss Meyer sighed. "That's your real problem, isn't it? You can sit here and point out some minor issues and plot holes, but the real problem you have is with Bella as a character."

The blonde woman nodded. At least she could see this. "Bella is simply too weak. When Edward dumped her, she sat around in her room for six months. The only thing that could pull her out of her depression was another strong male and the hope that Edward would come back, which he did, obviously. When Edward refuses to change her, she didn't do anything, she just argued a bit and then gave in to everything he demanded of her. The only time she makes a decision for herself is with the baby and the only thing she does is call up Rosalie. But let's face it, you had completely run out of options. Edward has a very negative perception of vampires and as such he would never agree to letting her carry a dangerous hybrid. But of course, abortion wasn't an option, was it? Not Christian enough for you. So you let Bella have this one."

Strangely, Miss Meyer leaned back in her chair and smiled. "That's all very interesting, but please answer one question for me. Despite all this shifted power dynamics with her being totally dependent on Edward, do you think all of this is a bad thing? Do you think their relationship is unhealthy? Should other people try to intervene? Or do you agree with me that who she picks as her partner is her business and other people shouldn't try to come between them, regardless of how much they think it's abusive?"

That left her stunned for a moment.

"I'm sure those people mean well," Miss Meyer continued. "But Bella has reached an age where she can make her own decisions, and she chose Edward. Their relationship is completely consensual, no matter how you turn it around."

She did have a point there. "But why did Edward choose her?" Now she was suddenly driven on the defense. "That doesn't make sense. Your explanation about how she's his 'tua cantante' and her blood smells amazing to him is all very interesting, but it doesn't make much sense. Changing her into a vampire, which he would have to do eventually, would render this meaningless because he can't taste her blood anymore. Or was he intrigued by her because he couldn't read her thoughts? What's up with that by the way? He can read everyone's thoughts but not hers? Come on, that's very suspicious to say the least."

"It's a metaphor for communication problems," Miss Meyer said, still smiling. "Really, I'm giving relationship advice. Your boyfriend can't read your mind, even if he is a mind reader. Isn't that amazing advice?"

"You didn't do that on purpose. You just put that in because Bella needed to be able to keep secrets for Edward for the plot. Otherwise you could never pull off a love-triangle. Bella is literally the only one in the world who has powers without being a vampire. That's simply too convenient. So I'm certain you're just making this up afterwards."

"Maybe. Who knows. I don't think authorial intent is that important. You can make this into whatever you want. I made it pretty clear what kind of story it would be on page one, so don't come complaining afterwards when I didn't meet your expectations. You expected high fantasy with amazing world building? You thought this wouldn't be a romance story? Come on. Maybe you should have checked wikipedia for two seconds before you picked up my book and you would have some expectations that actually make sense."

"I guess you have a point there," she admitted. "One more thing though. You really need to change your title. What are people supposed to do with 'Forks'? What's next, 'Spoons and Cutlery'?"

"I'm bad at titles," Miss Meyer admitted. "And names."

"I noticed." She decided not to mention anything about 'Renesmee'. "You named Jacob after your brother and Bella and Edward weren't even named until the very end. But really, we can't go with Forks."

"Just pick a random word that has some nice atmosphere to it. I don't really care."

Easier said than done.

Miss Meyer looked out of the window. It was getting dark outside.

"It's getting late," she said.

"Yeah, almost...Twilight."