Hey all. So, I finally felt inspired to write something FVII-related. 'Bout time, I say. Anyway, this might not be terribly original, but I felt like writing something about Aeris. (Big surprise... not.) It's just a drabble (inspiration strikes at midnight, again), but I hope it's enjoyable nonetheless. (FYI, Tifa PoV.) Post FFVII, pre AC. Thoughts in normal letters, real world stuff in italics, if it wasn't obvious. The title's a name of one of the songs on the FFVII OST. I just thought it fit.
Edit 25/9/08: Fixed some spelling errors. I had Tifa running her hand down a store pillar for a while there.
Edit 4/10/08: My thanks and eternal gratitude to Dramaya, who gave me about the best piece of concrit anyone ever has. =D
Edit 24/12/09: Went back and turned the hyphens into actual dashes; fixed some last few typos.
Flowers Blooming in the Church
The grey clouds are scudding across the horizon. It's windy, and slightly chilly, and my dark hair—I cut it a while ago, it's shorter now—waves slightly in the breeze. I draw my warm coat more snugly around me.
It's been five months.
Building of the new city has already started in earnest; it sometimes seems like the houses are springing up overnight. Of course, it's not really a city now- just a large town. Of course, that'll change.
I came outside to clear my head. I do that a lot these days. Mainly... I want to sort out my thoughts on her.
Aeris was always warm colors and sunshine, and gentle smiles. (Pastel pink, and green, which shouldn't really go well together, but they did for her.) Not like me. I was always dark, earthy colors, abrupt movements and sudden flashes of temper.
I think... we complemented each other, in a way.
It was unfortunate that we both loved Cloud. Love... she never said it out loud, but it was obvious that's what it was. As I said, unfortunate, but we tried not to let it get in the way of our friendship, or the team—because when you're out to save the world, you really don't have time for cat fights.
I think... I think if she had been any other person, out mutual love for Cloud would have made us rivals, enemies, in a way.
But because she was Aeris, and Aeris was always warm colors and sunshine (and gentle smiles), she won me over before I even realized what was happening—or that we had found a point of contention in Cloud.
She might have known what she was doing, but I like to think that... that was just the way she was.
I'm trudging past the half-finished monument to Meteor now; no-one knows who paid to have it built, but whoever it was, it was very... thoughtful.
I suspect Reeve Tuesti, actually.
And I can't help but think that... that they looked really sweet together. She was pink, and he was blue; the day they met he saved her from some ShinRa soldiers—led by Reno, who else—who wanted to capture her—just like something out of a fairy tale. (Cloud... when he came to rescue me he was wearing makeup and a dress. It still makes me giggle to think of it.)
But no. That makes her sound like some sort of damsel in distress. Don't get me wrong, she could play the part so well it'd make you wonder if she'd practiced—but she wasn't really a damsel in distress. She knew how to fight.
My feet are taking me beyond the borders of the new town. Edge, they've named it, but most people just call it 'the new town'. I let them carry me. I think I know where they're going, anyway...
Maybe it was that fighting spirit that got her... killed, though. She went off to pray for Holy all by herself (she said she'd come back once it was all over, I wish that had been true), and by the time we got there...
Sometimes, when it's late at night and I go over the scene in my head, trying to find something—anything—that I might have done differently (even though part of me doesn't want to find anything I could have done, because that would be too cruel)... I think I come close to understanding what Cloud must be feeling, then, late at night, curled up in my bed with my knees tucked under my chin. A kind of an overwhelming guilt and grief.
I think we all feel it, now and then. Figures. The loss is still raw, an empty space in side of me. It's probably the same for them.
It makes me almost physically sick, having to relive that moment, seeing her fall again and again in my mind's eye, but I do it anyway, trying to find something I could've done differently. (And I wish I had done something, pulled her out of the way before...) Anyway, I never do.
Look at me. I try to get my thoughts in order but they twist and turn and double back on themselves until I don't know what I'm thinking about. (Any more and I'll need a pair of scissors to free myself.)
My footsteps resound on a wooden floor now, and I run one hand down a worn stone pillar. The sun shines through the stained glass windows. Warm colors and sunshine. I miss the smiles.
But...
I try hard to move on. I look after Marlene, I run the bar (we were lucky enough to get a house early on), even take care of Cloud's delivery service when he's out. He owns a delivery service now, of all things. He's still trying to decide on a name.
Only, every now and then there'll be something that suddenly and inexplicably reminds me of her: the steady plik-plik-plik of rain against the windowsill (I never liked the rain that much when I was young, but now sometimes I go outside and stand face lifter to feel it on my skin), a ray of sunlight peeking through the clouds and tumbling through the window, a scent of flowers on the breeze—and it'll remind me of her so strongly that if I stand stock-still and don't turn, I can almost imagine she's behind me, her smile friendly but teasing.
I'm at the center of the church now. The flowers are still blooming here, even without her around. It's such a beautiful place. Peaceful. Filled with sun.
Aeris always was warm colors and sunshine and gentle smiles... I miss her so much at times it's like a physical pain. We all miss her.
But at times, I get the strangest feeling she's till with us, somehow.
Slowly I kneel, and I tie a single red ribbon to one of the flowers. Then I get up, and walk out of Aeris' church.
Maybe she's been there all along.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading.
I kinda liked the idea of Tifa tying a ribbon around the flower, dunno why. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.
Now, (since I haven't advertised it enough) check out this place called Genesis Awards (the link is on my profile). It's a forum dedicated to really good FFVII fanfiction (think: better than this), and any good writer worth their salt should haul ass over to there. Like, now.
