Disclaimer: I own the character of Persephone Scamander and the plot, which is based upon Speeding Cars. So go look it up! Sirius belongs to JKR (dammit)
I Listened In, Yes I'm Guilty Of This And You Should Know This. I Broke Down And Wrote You Back Before You Had A Chance To Be Forget, Forgotten. I Am Moving Past This, Giving Notice. I Have To Go, Yes I Know The Feeling Know You're Leaving. Calm Down, I Am Calling You To Stay. Capsized And Staring, On The Edge Of Safe. Calm Down, I'm Calling Back To Say. I'm Home Now, I'm Coming Around. Nobody Likes To But I Really Like To Cry. Nobody Likes Me Maybe If I Cry. Spelt Out Your Name And Lists The Reasons, Pain Of Heart... Don't Call Me Back, I Imagine You When I Was Distant, Non-Insistant. I Follow Suit And Layed Out On My Back, Imagine That. A Million Hours Left To Think Of You And Think Of That. Encircle Me, I Need To Be Taken Down.-"The Con", Tegan And Sara
It was a month since Persephone died, and Sirius was still having trouble coping. He slept for hours a day, and at night when he couldn't he took Bear for a long walk, as he had tonight. It was 4am when he got home, Bear had curled up on the bottom of Persephone's bed, her fur rising and falling with her heavy breaths. Sirius closed his eyes, finally exhausted enough to sleep.
He woke up in the living room. Or at least, he thought he did. He closed his eyes and opened them again, still lying on the sofa. He rubbed his sleepy face and thought for a second...I was sure I went to bed...
"Sirius?" came a familiar voice. He was looking at the fire, and the voice was coming from behind him. He didn't move for a second, thinking he was imagining things like he always did nowadays.
"Sirius?"
He was sure he heard it that time, his heart pounding in his chest hard. He turned his head slowly, and there she was, standing in front of him wearing the same black pyjamas...
"Sephie?" he breathed, tears pricking in his eyes. "Seph?"
She smiled at him, his heart pounding and his face starting to sweat.
"You're still asleep, Sirius," she said as she walked over to him and kneeled down infront of him. "I don't have very long."
Tears started to fall from his eyes. "Seph, but it doesn't feel like I'm dreaming..." he said as her hand touched his leg. She smiled and pushed a lock of hair out of her eyes. "Come on, let's go lie down," she said, taking his hand and pulling him up. He felt her hand grab his and pull him up, so vivid, her hand warm. She dragged him up the stairs, her hair bouncing as she took the steps one at a time, slowly. Bear was lying on the end of the bed, her nose ruckled slightly when Sephie walked in but she carried on sleeping. Sephie stroked the dogs head and bobbed down to look at her. Sirius watched her, his cheeks wet. "Aww Bear, you've got massive," she said, her nose level with the dog's. She kissed it, before standing and turning to Sirius and smiling again. She reached out and took his hand again, gave it a small tug and climbed into bed. "Come on, you're still asleep," she said. Sirius couldn't comprehend the situation. He'd had dreams about Persephone before. Hundreds of them, every night. But never did she feel so...real when she touched him in them. Never did she actually tell him he was asleep. Her hands weren't warm when they held his. He climbed into bed beside her and didn't say anything for a few seconds. He just looked into her green eyes. Exactly as he remembered them. She was smiling at him, and a finger brushed aside the hair that fell into his eyes and wiped his cheek.
"Persephone," he breathed, grabbing her and holding her close. "Persephone I love you so much..."
She didn't stop smiling, although if she was real she probably wouldn't be able to breathe and her ribs would probably be very broken. Wet droplets hit her shoulders, and her fingers twirled his hair.
"I know," she said, pulling back slightly to look at him. He smiled at her. "Do you love me?" he asked quietly. She laughed slightly, looked into his wet eyes. "Of course I do, Sirius."
"I wrote you a letter," he said. "I wanted to tell you, I was too late...I'm so sorry.." he said, tears still falling from his eyes. She wiped them away. "I read it," she said. Sirius looked at her, questioning. "How?" he breathed. She smiled at every question he asked. "I watched you write it," she replied simply.
"How?" he asked again.
"Where do vanished objects go?" She asked him retorically. He frowned, and she answered. "Into non being, which is to say, everything...I can see you all the time, Sirius."
"How?" he asked once more. Sephie laughed. "How? How? How?," she waved her hand, mocking him. "Sirius, I'm dead. I can see anything I want. I watch you all the time."
Sirius still had his arms around her, but removed one to push her hair behind her ear. He'd stopped crying. "What's it like?" he asked. She furrowed her brow. "It's like...dreaming, I guess. Like this. I can see you from wherever I want, I can see everything. It's quite fun, actually."
"Like dreaming.." Sirius repeated, looking down at his hands on her. She smiled sadly. "Yeah, but I don't like dreaming about you crying," she said. He looked into her eyes and sighed. "Sirius," she continued. "I don't like seeing you upset."
"But I want you back, Sephie. I need you back," he replied, feeling guilty. She nodded. "But it's really hard to watch you curled up in a ball and not be able to make it better. That's why I came to see you."
Sirius wasn't crying at all. He'd gotten over the shock of the situation. He'd heard before of people who were visited in their dreams.
"I love you," he said, looking straight into her eyes.
"I love you, too," she replied, smiling again. Sirius stared at her for a while, Bear was still snoring from the bottom of the bed. "Did you hear me?" he asked quietly. She nodded. He didn't have to explain. "Yeah, I felt you pick me up. And I heard you. But I couldn't say anything back. It was really odd...not very nice. I was telling myself to hug you but I wasn't doing it. Then the next thing I know I was watching you hold me."
Sirius blinked and looked away, looked at the bottom of the bed where she'd been lying. "Bear always lies there now," he said. She nodded. "I know."
Sirius frowned for a second, before turning back to Sephie. "Do you watch me get dressed?" he asked. She laughed and blushed. "Well, yeah...I have to make sure you're wearing nice clothes."
Sirius laughed. "Perv," he said, and she slapped his arm playfully. "Hey, nothing I haven't seen before," she replied, raising an eyebrow. Sirius stopped laughing but still smiled, remembering the last night she was alive. "At least I died happy," she said, stroking his cheek. He smiled, tears pricking his eyes again. Her face hardened. "Hey," she said, pointing a finger at him. "I've seen enough of your crying to last me a lifetime. Well..." she laughed. "How ironic."
Sirius couldn't help but notice how matter of fact she was about everything, just like she was in real life. Nothing seemed to faze her, she was always worried about someone else. She was dead and all she could worry about was Sirius crying.
"Look, the best thing that's happened in the past month was you tripping up the stairs last week," she said, grinning. She laughed. "Oh man, that was hilarious."
Sirius felt himself get embarrased. "Oh, awesome, now I can't get away with anything, can I?". Sephie shook her head. "Nope, I can see everything...But that has definately been the highlight of this month."
Sirius didn't say anything for a while, and nor did she. He was enjoying just seeing her face again, even if it wasn't real. "I'm sorry," he whispered. She frowned. "For what?"
He smiled weakly. "Crying?". She laughed. "I forgive you," she said. He sighed. "It's just so lonely without you being here," he said. "So cold."
"Well, how about get Remus to move in? He feels the same, Miranda's going to move country." she said. Sirius frowned. "But, I don't want anything in here changing," he replied, not questioning how she knew about Remus and Miranda. She laughed. "Sirius, you stay in here, you do anyway. Remus can have your room."
Sirius thought about it, nodding. "If that's what you want..."
They were silent again for a few minutes. Sirius wondered...
"Sephie?" he asked. She was looking at Bear, but turned her head to look at him. "Sephie, can you...can I kiss you?"
Sephie smiled. "It's your dream," she said. He smiled, and pulled her closer. He half expected her lips to be cold, or for it to all end, but he could feel her breath on him as he closed the gap. Their eyes closed, despite his desire to watch her every second. "I love you," he breathed again as she pulled away, smiling. She kissed his head. "I love you.". He could smell her perfume.
"You found out, then," she said, her finger scratching the corner of her pillow. Sirius smiled. "Yeah," he replied simply. A few days after she'd died, he turned the pillow to smell her as he drifted of to sleep, and smelt his own cologne on the corner nearest him. He'd wondered how long she'd been doing it, how long she'd needed to smell him to help her sleep.
"You could've just slept in the same bed as me," he said. Sephie sighed. "Yeah, well...I did in the end."
They fell silent again. Sirius was stroking the curls in her hair, feeling every single one, memorising them. Memorising the freckles on her nose, and the way she looked at him.
"It's time to wake up," she said suddenly, not even looking at the clock behind her. Sirius shook his head. "I don't want to," he said. She smiled. "You have a dog to look after.". He sighed. She stroked his cheek. "Just fall asleep here and you'll wake up there," she said. He looked at her sadly. "Will you come back?" he asked. She nodded. "I'll try."
Sirius ran his hands down her side, held her hips. "Will you hold me til I fall asleep?" he asked. She nodded. "Of course."
He kissed her one more time, and snuggled into her. She wrapped her arms around him, her hands holding his hair as he buried his head into her neck and smelt her perfume. His breathing slowed.
He woke up, not feeling like he'd been there for five hours. But he didn't feel tired. He didn't feel sad. He opened his eyes, half hoping she'd still be there. But when she wasn't he wasn't upset. He knew she was watching him wake up. Bear barked, and was running around in circles on the bed. Sirius could still smell her perfume.
