A bit of a sappy reunion story. If you haven't watched 4x11, this will make zero sense and will give spoilers away.
Let me know how you like it!
G.
..
...
"I don't know why you're here, but I'm really not in the mood for a hope talk." Regina says, sitting at Granny's bar with a shot of whiskey in her hand. The memory of his whiskey scent was hard to handle, but she knows she has to forget about him.
But the footsteps come closer, stopping, and then the subtle squeak of the barstool as someone sits down. "I'm not quite sure who you thought I was, but I'm here with Little John to do what you're doing – drink." Will's heavily accented voice says beside her, ordering a shot of whiskey for himself.
Her expression is soft but surprised, not expecting him to sit beside her when the whole bar is empty. She clears her throat, tells him that she just wants to be alone, and starts to get up when Little John sits on the other side of her.
"We miss Robin too, your majesty." The large man says, making Regina look up and then down once he sits. "And I know we aren't exactly your type of friends, but we agreed to let you in with us. A friend of Robin's is a friend of ours, right?" He asks to his right, and Friar Tuck emerges from behind John.
Nodding, he answers, "Right." before sitting down. "And it looks to me that you need a drinking buddy, Your Maj-"
"Before I pull my hair out, don't call me your majesty again. I'm Regina now, just Regina." She corrects, reluctantly sitting down again and turning to face the counter.
They've all got their shots, and Regina is on her second glass. John and Tuck are both joining in their own conversation, meanwhile Will is trying to flirt with Ruby behind the counter, and Regina gets a sympathetic look from Granny, asking, "You okay?" and leaning her elbows on the counter.
Regina shrugs, looking to her right at the two men, then to her left at the hustler beside her. "Lonely, I suppose."
"Lonely?" John overhears, joining in the new found conversation. Granny raises a brow toward Regina, then walks away.
"Yes, lonely." Regina replies, "I had no one but Robin, and now he's gone too. Henry is in bed at the Charmings...that's all I have."
"You have us now. We may not be able to replace my best friend, Regina," He says, making note that he called her Regina and not Your Majesty, "I think we need to get a bit of happiness back in this place. Who's up for a bit of a game, men?" He calls out, making Tuck and Will perk up, as well as Killian and Emma who were in the corner booth, and Ruby pulls out some more liquor and pours it into new glasses.
"A game?" Regina muses, scoffing, "I think I will turn in for the night."
John shakes his head, "Not yet, just have some fun. Or at least try."
Regina takes in the thought for a moment, debating on whether or not she should stay and just "hang out" with these burly men who are her lover's best friends. She doesn't know them, she doesn't know if they'll try to get her drunk and take advantage of her. Then again, she knows her drinking limit, and they're in public too. So she nods as an okay, picks up another shot and carries it over to in front of the dart board where Emma is already dispersing darts.
Regina clutches her fingers around her drink a little tighter, looking around nervously. She's not used to people wanting to be around her. She's not used to having "drinking buddies" and dart games. This is out of her comfort zone, and she can't tell, yet, if she likes it or not.
But why should she not try it out to see? She has no Robin, she needs someone to help her through it, she supposes. So she takes a dart from Emma's fingers, and Emma gives her a knowing, supportive smile, whispering, "Try not to think, Regina." before heading off to give darts to more men.
Regina's lips are parted, a bit of a befuddled expression gracing her face. She's beginning to wonder if she's fallen into some kind of parallel universe where she hasn't been the Evil Queen. She takes a deep and relaxing breath (one that attempted to relax her, but the whiskey was still making her tense because of the reminder of him), aiming up to throw the dart. She brings her arm back, thrusting it forward and biting her lip as her fingers let it go.
It falls straight on the floor. It's your first try, no hard feelings on yourself. But she's thoroughly embarrassed, her cheeks red again as she turns around to make the short walk of shame back to the barstool for someone else to try.
One-by-one, she watches the Merry Men and their talented throws (except for Little John. She wonders how the man can be so large, but not have good aim. He must catch his food by hand, she thinks). But all this time, she's been quietly studying how they throw (the ones who hit, the others she hasn't paid attention to) and she's learned what to do.
When her turn comes back around, she walks up with slightly more confidence, her ego built up and the whiskey kicking in better. She wasn't so uneasy this time, maybe she can throw straight.
Nonetheless, her face reddens from embarrassment again when it hits just above the board, sticking into Granny's pea-green wall. Granny yells Hey! from the counter and earns a sneer from a tipsy Regina.
She sits back down, this time striking up a conversation with the blonde. "I wish he was here. He could teach me how to throw and actually hit instead of getting yelled at by an old woman."
Emma looks over at her from the other side of the booth, both women were sitting so that they're on the edge of the seat with their legs strung out from the side, leaning one arm on the table and one on the back of their seat. "You mean Robin?"
"Henry is no good at darts." Regina quips, giving her a look before almost inaudibly muttering, "You really hold up the dumb blonde name..." and flipping her hair to the side, tipping back her fifth shot.
"I heard that." Emma replies, fumbling with her glass in her hand. "Look, I know you miss him. But he'll...if it's true, Regina, you'll find a way to be together again. I mean, look at me and Neal. I thought that maybe it was real, that maybe we were supposed to have each other, but then fate I guess...just had another idea. And unfortunately that's the way it works. But at least you have your friends, and they are trying, Regina..."
Those last few words make her look over at Robin's Merry Men, laughing and enjoying themselves, "I'm not one of them, though. I've ruined their lives too-"
"Actually, if you want to go there...I kinda ruined their lives. I brought Marian back, and without her being here, Robin and Roland never would've had to leave town, you wouldn't be on your sixth-"
"Fifth."
"Fifth...shot. And they wouldn't be trying to numb their pain. Everyone misses him, but that's why we all gotta stick together I guess."
She huffs, looking down into her glass before setting it on the table beside her. "Earlier, I told Will I didn't want a hope speech. And somehow I still got one tonight. It's not what I need right now. I just need to be with him."
"Then go after him, Regina." Emma suggests, and Regina isn't sure what to say.
Her mouth parts again, looking back at the men before looking at the blonde. Her heart has wanted to, but her logical mind knows she can't. "I don't want to leave Henry. He's still my son. And once I leave I can't ever come back, and I wouldn't want to live without him." She says, though she's not wanting to believe her own words. They tasted like vinegar on her tongue, not like they should taste.
Emma huffs, standing up to throw for her turn. "I don't think Henry would want to see you unhappy, Regina."
And then those words feel like firecrackers in her ears. She doesn't want to leave Henry. He's been there and she's been his mother for years, and she just doesn't want to let him go for her supposed true love. Her heart is conflicted.
Another few rounds go by of darts and alcohol, Friar Tuck ends up winning on Regina's eleventh shot. She was so drunk she couldn't even see straight, but she still couldn't hit the board. By that time, the embarrassment had left and the drunkenness had set in, she didn't even care if she hit it or not. Will is seeing her sways and her swooshes, laughing a bit before startling, rushing to catch her. She thought she was sitting on the booth, but was still about five inches away from the actual seat.
"Whoa there, let's get you home, your highness..." Will muses, picking her up and helping her to her feet.
Emma sees the scene once her turn at the board is finished, rushing to them to help her up. "I got her, I'll take her home from here." She says, holding the laughing and giddy woman up on her feet, dragging her from the diner.
..
…
The next day, her head is pounding. But by the week after that, she's used to the hangovers she's been getting with Robin's men. It's become almost a nightly thing, they've only missed one night (Friday night, because it was movie night with Henry) and she's gotten drunk every night other than that. Her aim hasn't gotten better, even through the attempts of help from Will Scarlett. It just wasn't any hope, but Regina didn't mind anymore. She didn't feel embarrassed, because most of the time she had too much alcohol running through her to even register that she was the only one who hasn't made it yet. She just doesn't feel as much pain when she's in this state, she doesn't have to have constant reminders that Robin isn't here, and she feels no shame in what she's doing.
She wants to be free of her pain and misfortune.
"Whoa there, Regina. Isn't that a bit much?" Little John asks, seeing Regina ask for a whole glass of whiskey instead of just the little shot glasses. "You've already had five shots."
Regina shakes her head, tipping it to her lips and shaking her head yet again. "No pain..."
He takes the glass gently from her fingers, "Stick with the shots." He advises, handing her a new glass that no one has touched yet. "I know you want to forget it, but it won't really help to get wasted."
Regina pouts, not the fake kind, but the true one. "I need it."
Will shakes his head, coming up beside her and taking that glass too. "No, you don't." He says, placing the glass elsewhere. "Robin wouldn't want to see you like this unless it lead to naughty things afterward, and it's not. You need to pull yourself together." He says, making Regina get emotional.
He's right. And damn it she hates being wrong, but he's right. Shaking her head, she turns to sit down at the booth that she always sits in, ever since that first game night. She looks down, fidgeting with her fingers as she thinks about the past week. It's been hell. She doesn't want this anymore. She's hardly seen Henry, she's hardly been around him. She hasn't used magic. There's no point in her being here.
But hearing, Mom? Made her remember why she stayed. She looks back at the door that had just rung and sighs, "Henry..." before standing up.
"Mom, what...are you..." He stutters, seeing all of the whiskey she's been around.
She shakes her head, hugging him into her arms and tucking his head under her chin. "It really doesn't help." She admits, leaning down on him a little. Much taller, she realizes, and he'll be too tall to lean on like this. He's growing up, and she wishes he wasn't sometimes. "Let's go home, okay? A movie?"
"Actually, I was coming here to get some dinner. But now that you want to watch a movie, can we maybe eat first?" He asks, and she hears his stomach rumble. She smiles and ruffles his hair, longer than it seemed to be a week ago. Already? No, it's her imagination. Has to be.
"That sounds fine."
And then the men overheard them, already order their food before Henry and Regina could even get to the counter. Once they all ordered, the men automatically start pushing tables together to sit at. Henry looks at them with a funny expression, "Why are they doing that?"
Her smile is bright, glowing almost. "They've kind of accepted me into their friendship. And I'm glad, so let's eat with them."
He's not quite sure he's ready to eat with these men, but shrugs it off. "Okay."
Before the meal is there, they've made plenty of small talk. John talks to Henry about school, Tuck to Henry about how he needs to hunt, and then it turns into a conversation about how he doesn't need to learn from Little John. Regina is laughing, but all the time she is missing her best friend. Robin.
Her food goes mostly untouched, just swooshing it around with the fork. It's spaghetti, normally one of her favorites, but tonight it just isn't working out for her. She feels sick to her stomach, doesn't want to eat. But then again, this is one of the only nights without him that she hasn't been drunk.
After a few more moments, she sets her fork down and heads off to the back, needing the restroom quickly before she hurls across the table into Will's face. Henry sees the hasty woman, but doesn't really think twice about it. Will realizes, though, that she's been gone for a while. That she's taking an awfully long time just to go to the restroom. But he gives her her space, not wanting to intrude (especially not into the women's bathroom...).
After ten more minutes pass, he gets up as well. Realizing that something must be wrong, or she would've come back by now. So he walks to the bathroom, actually having to gather his courage just to peek in the swinging door. "Regina? Love, I do say that you've been gone for a while. I'm just checking to-"
And then he's interrupted. Interrupted by another loud hurl, echoing through the tiled room. He peeks under the stalls to see her on her knees, and rushes to that stall. He opens the door open, rushing in to hold her hair back. After she finishes, she sits on her heels and groans, "What the hell is wrong with me?" before slowly standing to her feet.
Will stays quiet, not sure what is wrong with her. He isn't a doctor, he isn't anyone who knows about anything medical. But this wasn't from the alcohol, she's only had a few shots tonight and he's seen her down fifteen. He shakes it off, helping her to her feet and steadying her, "I don't know, Regina, but your boy is getting worried about you."
She nods, thanking him for checking on her, and washes her hands, rinses her face, and looks in the mirror. She knows what's wrong, but she doesn't want this. She doesn't want that. She wants to drink. She wants to forget he ever existed. And she can't do that without drinking it away.
..
…
Six weeks go by slowly, more sickness, more trying to forget about Robin, but the drinking did stop. She wasn't so sure that was the best thing, after all. She continued to try and play with the Merry Men, have movie night with Henry, but nothing compared to snuggling into Robin's warm embrace, breathing in the subtle scent of forest through her nostrils, listening to his heart beat into her ear, and most of all, the scratching on her face of his stubble when they kissed. She missed that so much, and now she wishes more than ever that she never met him. She wishes that she could just go and find him, come back to this town, and live a happy life.
But wishing does no good.
So she tries to go about her life without him. Without her job, she doesn't have much to do during the day time. No villains, surprisingly, have visited the small town since Ingrid had, and people were starting to become normal again. As normal as Storybrookians can ever be, but they were always waiting to have to defend themselves.
She's vacuuming the already clean mansion for the second time this week as Will is running in, completely breathless and exhausted. "Regina! REGINA! Rumplestiltskin is back! He found a way to break the barrier, Regina! We can go find Robin!" He yells, somehow he had let himself into her house.
She wonders how for a brief moment before he explains what's going on, but remembers he is a thief just as Robin is. "He what?!" Regina asks, turning the vacuum off to make sure she heard Will correctly, before completely getting her hopes up. "I can find him?"
He nods, bent over and breathing heavy still. "Yes! Go find him, Regina. Go – go tell him."
She smiles, letting the vacuum fall to the ground before literally sprinting up the stairs, to her room, and packing a backpack full of clothes in case she has to stay overnight. All in a matter of fifteen minutes, she's grabbed her keys, her backpack and purse, and she's at the town line. She's stopped, taking a nervous breath. I should've said goodbye to Henry. I should've sent someone else first, just as a test. All of those things were running through her head as she looks down, then putting the Mercedes in drive, going right over the town line.
Nothing has changed on her, she looks back and sees the Welcome to Storybrooke sign. She smiles, knowing she can go back. Knowing she'll be able to see Henry again, and knowing she can bring Robin back.
..
…
Five bathroom stops, a food stop, and many hours later, she's in New York City. She's searching everywhere for him, and she's about to give up for the night. It's already 10:00, and she knows in this city without magic to protect herself that she shouldn't even be out this late. It's dangerous here, and she doesn't want to get hurt before she can even see Robin.
As she's driving back, she notices she's almost out of gas. She hits the steering wheel with the heels of her hands and looks around for a gas station somewhere. She finally finds a nice little Stop-and-Go to pull in to, and gets out to pump gas. While it's pumping, she heads inside to pay.
Before paying, of course, she has to get some snacks to hold her through the night and into the morning. She grabs a honey bun for breakfast, and a pint of ice cream for tonight. Not seeing a spoon or anywhere to buy one, she goes up to the counter. "Excuse me?" She asks when no one comes up.
She hears footsteps from the back, "I'm sorry, I-"
"Robin?!" Regina cries out, seeing the dashing man in his uniform. She cries out again, "It's you! Oh, Robin!" and drops all of the food and drinks in her arms, running up the short little step to him.
He welcomes her with open arms, tightening them around her as she slams into his chest. His hands can stay off of her, they're in her hair, on her back, on her face. He can't believe she's here. Regina pulls away swiftly and pulls his collar, smashing their lips together heatedly. "My gosh, I've missed you..." He whispers, tears in his own eyes as tears are flowing freely out of hers. She rubs against him more this time, her abdomen hitting his. And that's when he finally realizes, looking down, hands sliding to her waist. "You're pregnant..."
..
…
His hands are sliding around her larger waist, going up her arm and to her wrist, taking it in his fingers lightly and helping her aim. His body was so close to hers, though, that it was making it hard to think and to focus. "Now, pull back straight and let go." He whispers in her ear, guiding her.
She does as he says, making the bulls eye the first time and smiling, whispering, "I knew you would help me..." before joining her hands on his, laying on her big belly.
She looks down at their hands, knows how lucky they are to have this baby in their lives after all of the drinking she had done. She's just glad, now, she has Robin to help her through this. Has Robin instead of Will to hold her hair back, has Robin instead of Tuck trying to teach her to aim, and has Robin instead of John complimenting her and cheering her up when she's down. But she knows without his friends – her new friends – that this child wouldn't be kicking up against their hands in this moment.
They were there for her, just when she needed them.
..
...
Feels?
Feels.
How'd you like it? Let me know in the reviews, please!
G.
