A LotR version of the song American Pie. The full 6-verse song, not some cop-out-four-verse-Weird-Al version. :-P I've had this song in my head for days. Hopefully this will be therapy to get it out.
Note for those interested in the rhyme scheme: This sounds sort of weird if you're just reading it because the pattern is AABCCBDDEEFFFG (the BCCB section being the strange part), but it works if you listen to the song.
Disclaimer: Dan McLean owns American Pie. Some other people own LotR. I have no hold over either. I do, however, own this version of the song.
A long long time ago
I can still remember how that ring made me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
I would take over the world at a glance
And they'd be my slaves for a while
But Isildur cut the ring from my hand
And now I can't own all the land
But I'm getting stronger every day
Soon I will have my way
I know where those darn hobbits live
And I believe to them I shall give
Something bad-Them I won't forgive
Because they have the ring
So bye-bye, Mr. Frodo Guy
Leaving Bag End? Why not beg "Send
Me your black rider spies"
When Pippin and Sam are drinking whiskey and rye,
That will be the day that you die
That'll be the day that you die
Did you keep it secret and safe?
Did you see any black ring wraiths
So Old Tom is still alive?
Did he treat you well or poor?
For you silly hobbits four,
Did bed and breakfast he provide?
'Cause Sauron is on the lose,
And Saruman is readying his troops,
So we gotta go in a hurry
Cause we really don't wanna worry
All the Rivendell elves and men,
So let's go through this terrible fen,
And look! On Weathertop Gandalf's been!
But he might have died
We started singin'
Bye, bye, Mr. Black Rider Spy
We want to live, You've no ring to give
Sauron as long as we're alive
So let's heal Frodo, he's a very strong guy
This won't be the day that he dies,
This won't be the day that he dies
Now we are at Elrond's house
That piece of blade sure was a louse
It almost killed you, except for Aragorn's skill
All bad things are in the wild
So come, let our talk be mild
You need rest for you still are ill,
For you have spent three days in bed
And I believe you conked your head
For you should have never put on the ring
But I guess we can't fix that now
Come to the feast, they'll all say wow.
They thought you were as good as dead
So you've seen Bilbo, good for you
He certainly won't die for a year or two
Now what are we going to do?
About this blasted ring?
We were singing
Bye, bye Mr. Ringy Guy
The Fellowship's going on a trip
In Orodruin you'll fry
We'll destroy you, and kiss Sauron goodbye
This will be the day that he dies
This'll be the day that he dies
Let's go off this winter day
The nine are different in every way
An elf, a dwarf, and hobbits four,
Gandalf the maia, and two men
To cross the pass of the mountain
They tried, but results were poor
So into Moria they had to go
Despite the warnings that evil would grow
They found the tomb of Lord Balin
And found that the orcs committed this sin
The orcs are coming right now
We must get out, but we don't know how
Frodo got smashed, but he'll never fall
And Sauron must die
But we were singing
Bye-bye Mr. Gandalf Guy
You fell in, it was a sin
Oh why couldn't you fly?
That darn Balrog pulled you in, why oh why?
Luckily you were the only one to die
Luckily you're the only one to die
We decided that we must go on
You were there, but now you're gone
I guess I will have to lead
We've gone to Lady Galadriel
Frodo's mithril kept him well
Now some peace and rest is what we need
We'll look into Galadriel's mirror
Sam will see his greatest fear
Now it's time to pack the boats
Otherwise Sauron will have our throats
We've been good, but we must not gloat,
Because we all may die
And he was singing
Bye-bye Mr. Gollum Guy
We really see you, hate to be you
Cause you're just a small fry
You might as well kiss your precious goodbye
Because this will be the day that it dies
This will be the day that it dies
Now where did Frodo run off too?
Minas Tirith or Orodruin, it's up to you
I say come to my homeland
But you can choose how you feel best
Just give me the ring, no need to tell the rest
It would look much better on my hand
No! Don't go, I didn't mean it
I guess I should have seen it
Wait! Are those hobbit screams I hear?
Pippin and Merry? Aye, so I fear
I must save them at all cost
And it seems my life I've lost
The wind bites like the frost
And Boromir has died
And they were singing
Bye-bye Mr. Boromir Guy
You fought well, that was swell
You just weren't supposed to die
The orcs with the hobbits ahead of us fly
We must catch them before they die
We must catch them before they die.
Wow. That took a long time. It was really hard. I have a headache. I can no longer speak in compound sentences. Now please review! Namarie!
