We Will Get By
By: Charon, the SaberCat
Disclaimer: FINALLY! SOMETHING PRO-BUM ON FF.NET! Look, if you hate the BUM's so much, then DON'T WRITE ABOUT THEM! Don't read this, either, I LOVE THE BUMS! (Chanting) BKM! BKM! BKM! BKM! BKM! BKM! BKM! YAH! I don't own the Butt Ugly Martians, but I do own Einstien the Quill Dog. 'We Will Get By' is by the Grateful Dead. Monty Python's Flying Circus and stuff like that belongs to...... Um...I don't know, it belongs to someone. Flames will be canned and used to cook Quantum Burgers for Do-Wah-Diddy. THANK YOU ALL! GOODNIGHT!
Einstien tramped along the desert sands. Einstien was a Yaxier from the planet of the same name. He resembled a doberman pincher with a metallic silver plate covering the top of his head, leaving two holes for his large brown eyes. His legs had silver bands two inches above where his paws began. His most impressive feature, however, was his large mane of quills, starting at his neck and ending halfway down his back (Houdour with quills, everybody!).
"Which one is this, the Mojave?" he thought aloud. "Geography was never my thing. How long until I reach the coast?" His complaints reached no one's ears. He growled. "Stupid planet." He stopped for a moment and paused to sniff the air.
"That doesn't smell good," he remarked as he looked downward. Adrenaline. Never good. But where's it coming from?!" He feverishly dug at the ground until he found a hatch to what seemed like a primitive missile silo.
"What's huh?" His sharp hearing caught faint noises from under the lid.
"What do you mean, you can't open it?"
"Well, I've tried everything in Dog's weapon rack, everything on my phaser Gauntlet-"
"And my head, don't forget my head!"
"And Do-Wah's head, we can't forget that."
"Hello?" Einstien called out to the voices.
"'Ello, oo eeze eet?"
Einstien rolled his eyes at the stupid Monty Python line. "Do you need help?!"
"Um, yeah, that would be nice right about now!"
"There was a sandstorm earlier!"
"It buried us!"
"So?
"JUST GET US OUT!" many voices called in unison. One answered, "Be quiet, you'll wake up Muldoon!"
Einstien shook his head at the sheer stupidity. "Whatever." He clasped the door's handle in his jaws and ripped it off. The door popped open, and out came three Martians, three humans, and a little robotic thingy.
"Thanks," said the female human. "I was getting claustrophobic."
"No problem," answered Einstien. The female looked at him strangley.
"Man, that thing is weird lookin'," said a male human with brown skin.
Einstien, upon hearing that remark, went suddenly hostile. "Hehhehhehhehheh, me? You're the weird looking one kid."
"Hey, no way, I'm the normal one here!"
"I'm the normal one. I look like everybody else!"
"You don't look like us!"
Einstien paused. He was right.
"HA HA! I won!"
"Alright, calm down!" yelled a Martian in a yellow commander's suit. "Hello there."
He waved at Einstien. Einstien didn't know whether to accept that as a greeting or an act of war.
"Hello." He sat down on his haunches and watched the yellow-garbed Martian.
"I am Commander B-Bop-A-Luna of the Martian Empire. This is our technical officer, 2-T-Fru-T." He pointed to a Martian in a blue uniform.
"Mm-Hmm."
"And that's Do-Wah-Diddy, over there." He pointed to a Martian in a red uniform.
Einstien smirked. "He's fat."
Do-Wah looked insulted. "I'm not fat! I'm cuddly."
"Cuddly, fat, whatever." Einstien looked at the humans. He noticed a peach- skinned human male.
"And they are?"
"Oh!" B-Bop pointed first to the peach male, then the brown male, then the white female. "That's Mike, Cedric, and Angela."
"I am Einstien, son of Nithalak of planet Yaxier. I have come on a quest to find Atreyu, the Spirit Eagle."
"Spirit Eagle?" Mike echoed. "What's a 'Spirit Eagle'?"
Einstien shook his head. "Might you have a place with a computer I can borrow? To show you Atreyu?"
"Sure, our hideout's basically nothing but computers," answered 2-T. "Come on."
After a quick flight to Zapz, Einstien started clawing at the keyboard of the nearest computer consol. "Not the type I'm used to, but it will do." After a series of near key-removal on the keyboard, a strange symbal appeared. It looked like it could be Einstien's silloutte.
"Pay ecka un dar."
"Sorry, I don't have a translator on me," explained Einstien. "I'll try to explain it to you as we go along."
The computer repeated, "Pay ecka un dar."
Mike asked, "What does that mean?"
Einstien replied, "It means, 'Sign in your name'."
"Pay ecka un dar."
Einstien growled as he clawed at the keyboard again.
"Pabau endora."
"Registration number."
Einstien clawed at the keyboard's number pad.
"Eb cha."
"That's 'thank you'."
Suddenly, a large picture of a bald eagle appeared on the screen. Several windows opened, apparently information blocks. A size comparison appeared, showing a picture of Einstien. Einstien came up to Atreyu's knee.
"Alright," began Einstien. "My planet has been under siege by a Martian fleet for-"
"Hey, hey, waitaminute. Martian?" marveled Mike.
"Mmhmm," answered Einstien. "For a while now. Our soil is especially fertile from milleniums of no agriculture, or any other form of disturbance besides grazing animals. Now, Atreyu is sort of a god where I come from. Said to protect whichever planet claims it for eternity. I'm here to find it. Now, resources say it landed somwhere on Earth."
A beeping sound echoed through the room.
"Oh great, Muldoon's on." Angela went over to the computer.
"Who's Muldoon?" asked Einstien.
The tv screen warmed up, showing Stoat Muldoon standing somewhere in the desert.
"Greetings, fellow alien hunters! I am Stoat Muldoon, reporting to you live from the site of an actual alien capture! Although the alien's appearance is to be kept classified, mostly, I can tell you it looks like a giant bald eagle!"
To be continued.......
By: Charon, the SaberCat
Disclaimer: FINALLY! SOMETHING PRO-BUM ON FF.NET! Look, if you hate the BUM's so much, then DON'T WRITE ABOUT THEM! Don't read this, either, I LOVE THE BUMS! (Chanting) BKM! BKM! BKM! BKM! BKM! BKM! BKM! YAH! I don't own the Butt Ugly Martians, but I do own Einstien the Quill Dog. 'We Will Get By' is by the Grateful Dead. Monty Python's Flying Circus and stuff like that belongs to...... Um...I don't know, it belongs to someone. Flames will be canned and used to cook Quantum Burgers for Do-Wah-Diddy. THANK YOU ALL! GOODNIGHT!
Einstien tramped along the desert sands. Einstien was a Yaxier from the planet of the same name. He resembled a doberman pincher with a metallic silver plate covering the top of his head, leaving two holes for his large brown eyes. His legs had silver bands two inches above where his paws began. His most impressive feature, however, was his large mane of quills, starting at his neck and ending halfway down his back (Houdour with quills, everybody!).
"Which one is this, the Mojave?" he thought aloud. "Geography was never my thing. How long until I reach the coast?" His complaints reached no one's ears. He growled. "Stupid planet." He stopped for a moment and paused to sniff the air.
"That doesn't smell good," he remarked as he looked downward. Adrenaline. Never good. But where's it coming from?!" He feverishly dug at the ground until he found a hatch to what seemed like a primitive missile silo.
"What's huh?" His sharp hearing caught faint noises from under the lid.
"What do you mean, you can't open it?"
"Well, I've tried everything in Dog's weapon rack, everything on my phaser Gauntlet-"
"And my head, don't forget my head!"
"And Do-Wah's head, we can't forget that."
"Hello?" Einstien called out to the voices.
"'Ello, oo eeze eet?"
Einstien rolled his eyes at the stupid Monty Python line. "Do you need help?!"
"Um, yeah, that would be nice right about now!"
"There was a sandstorm earlier!"
"It buried us!"
"So?
"JUST GET US OUT!" many voices called in unison. One answered, "Be quiet, you'll wake up Muldoon!"
Einstien shook his head at the sheer stupidity. "Whatever." He clasped the door's handle in his jaws and ripped it off. The door popped open, and out came three Martians, three humans, and a little robotic thingy.
"Thanks," said the female human. "I was getting claustrophobic."
"No problem," answered Einstien. The female looked at him strangley.
"Man, that thing is weird lookin'," said a male human with brown skin.
Einstien, upon hearing that remark, went suddenly hostile. "Hehhehhehhehheh, me? You're the weird looking one kid."
"Hey, no way, I'm the normal one here!"
"I'm the normal one. I look like everybody else!"
"You don't look like us!"
Einstien paused. He was right.
"HA HA! I won!"
"Alright, calm down!" yelled a Martian in a yellow commander's suit. "Hello there."
He waved at Einstien. Einstien didn't know whether to accept that as a greeting or an act of war.
"Hello." He sat down on his haunches and watched the yellow-garbed Martian.
"I am Commander B-Bop-A-Luna of the Martian Empire. This is our technical officer, 2-T-Fru-T." He pointed to a Martian in a blue uniform.
"Mm-Hmm."
"And that's Do-Wah-Diddy, over there." He pointed to a Martian in a red uniform.
Einstien smirked. "He's fat."
Do-Wah looked insulted. "I'm not fat! I'm cuddly."
"Cuddly, fat, whatever." Einstien looked at the humans. He noticed a peach- skinned human male.
"And they are?"
"Oh!" B-Bop pointed first to the peach male, then the brown male, then the white female. "That's Mike, Cedric, and Angela."
"I am Einstien, son of Nithalak of planet Yaxier. I have come on a quest to find Atreyu, the Spirit Eagle."
"Spirit Eagle?" Mike echoed. "What's a 'Spirit Eagle'?"
Einstien shook his head. "Might you have a place with a computer I can borrow? To show you Atreyu?"
"Sure, our hideout's basically nothing but computers," answered 2-T. "Come on."
After a quick flight to Zapz, Einstien started clawing at the keyboard of the nearest computer consol. "Not the type I'm used to, but it will do." After a series of near key-removal on the keyboard, a strange symbal appeared. It looked like it could be Einstien's silloutte.
"Pay ecka un dar."
"Sorry, I don't have a translator on me," explained Einstien. "I'll try to explain it to you as we go along."
The computer repeated, "Pay ecka un dar."
Mike asked, "What does that mean?"
Einstien replied, "It means, 'Sign in your name'."
"Pay ecka un dar."
Einstien growled as he clawed at the keyboard again.
"Pabau endora."
"Registration number."
Einstien clawed at the keyboard's number pad.
"Eb cha."
"That's 'thank you'."
Suddenly, a large picture of a bald eagle appeared on the screen. Several windows opened, apparently information blocks. A size comparison appeared, showing a picture of Einstien. Einstien came up to Atreyu's knee.
"Alright," began Einstien. "My planet has been under siege by a Martian fleet for-"
"Hey, hey, waitaminute. Martian?" marveled Mike.
"Mmhmm," answered Einstien. "For a while now. Our soil is especially fertile from milleniums of no agriculture, or any other form of disturbance besides grazing animals. Now, Atreyu is sort of a god where I come from. Said to protect whichever planet claims it for eternity. I'm here to find it. Now, resources say it landed somwhere on Earth."
A beeping sound echoed through the room.
"Oh great, Muldoon's on." Angela went over to the computer.
"Who's Muldoon?" asked Einstien.
The tv screen warmed up, showing Stoat Muldoon standing somewhere in the desert.
"Greetings, fellow alien hunters! I am Stoat Muldoon, reporting to you live from the site of an actual alien capture! Although the alien's appearance is to be kept classified, mostly, I can tell you it looks like a giant bald eagle!"
To be continued.......
