Visiting New York was good for Jess. She felt the past 6 years of her life come full circle that fateful moment in Captain Raymond Holt's office.
Such a nice officer of the law, Jess mused. Her sudden epiphany about New York being the reason she caught Spencer cheating changed her perspective of the city she once feared - the city she thought hated her.
That concrete jungle of dreams had my back, Jess thought triumphantly as she stared into the loft's bathroom mirror picking at her unruly bangs.
Jess was smiling more today than she had in the last few months. Nick leaving to spend the summer with Reagan had been really hard on her. It was basically a hell that spurred her into trying a dozen new activities, from CrossFit to woodworking. She was feigning smiles for Schmidt and Winston, even for Cece, who knew all too well about her feelings for Nick. They had not really talked about it since the wedding. Cece and Jess went way back, and they knew when to give eachother space.
And space is just what Jess needed. There were two happy couples in the loft now, and she did not want to damper their love with her own heartache. She needed to spin her wheels. She wanted desperately to not think about the man she loved. The man, who was shacked up with that beautiful minx of a woman in New Orleans. A woman she actually liked and who genuinely seemed to reciprocate Nick's feelings.
Jess let out a sigh as she realized she couldn't see her reflection in the mirror anymore. Turning off the faucet, she grabbed a cloth from her makeup bag and slowly wiped the steam away. Her face was now partially visible, and her blue eyes were doing their best to pierce through the haze. Everything felt hazy in her life right now.
She had never truly grown used to Nick's empty room, or the absence of his gruffy face behind the bar, but she was coping. She was doing life and avoiding the pain as much as she could.
Nick's abrupt return, however, sent her into a tailspin of emotions. She wasn't ready. She hadn't prepared herself to see him.
On one hand, she was so glad Nick was back. Her heart bursted at the sight of him in the loft that day. She no longer had to imagine what he was doing or just how happy Reagan was making him. He was now this tangible, turtle faced being that she could see and touch. He was home, and all was right in the world.
Except, it wasn't. Nothing was right. The other damn hand was filled with tension, weakness and a mess of emotions. She couldn't even sing away her feelings.
And that's my thing! Jess shook her head in frustration.
Jess had tried watching Dirty Dancing once but turned it off halfway through. It just made her think of the guys rescuing her in that fancy restaurant all those years ago. Nick barely knew her, and there he was, scratchy voice and all, butchering her favorite song in front of a room full of strangers – just to make her smile?
She couldn't help but smile at this memory. She bit her lip contemplating whether she should run to the bar right now and kiss him.
"Jess, you okay?" Cece asked, bringing her out of her reverie.
"You've been in here for over an hour, babe."
"Hey Ceec," Jess answered still staring into the mirror, eyes narrowed at her still messy bangs.
"You won this battle, you sonsabitches!" she declared in defeat, and then whipped around to face her best friend.
"Bangs?" Cece asked in an all-knowing tone.
"You know it," Jess answered with a smile before looking down at her watch.
"Oh no, I'm late!"
Jess hurriedly dumped her toiletries into her bag and started to move past her friend.
"Wait… Jess," Cece said lowering her voice a little. "I need to tell you something before you leave."
"Okay, but can you just text me? I'm so late!"
Jess scuttled around her and into her bedroom with Cece following closely behind.
"I can do that, but I figured you needed to be sitting down and not behind the wheel of a vehicle. We all know what happened in New York when you were under extreme stress." Cece admonished.
Jess whipped around.
"I wasn't driving, Cece! How many times do I have to tell you guys? Mrs. Schmidt's Crossover was commandeered by that clown of a detective, Jack… Jim, I can't even remember. I filled out the liability forms and everything. I even signed up for their dumb softball league," Jess explained in a rush as she rifled through her purse for her phone.
"Yeah, yeah. I know – wait. Softball?" Cece stopped in confusion.
"I'm about to go bankrupt flying out to New York for games," Jess groaned.
"Yes, found them!" Jess did a little kick and punch to the air after finding her keys under her pillow.
Jess seems more like herself, Cece mused. She'a at least in a better mood, if not a little more scattered than usual.
Jess gave Cece a quick hug and tried to walk away, but Cece kept hold of her.
"Uh. Cece," laughed Jess.
"I'm really late. I'm in charge of the Feelings Farm today. Tran subbed in for me last week and was a freaking star. Kids were lined up to see him! He charmed the feeling sticks right into those kids' hands. That Korean wizard..." Jess said in wonder.
Cece shook her head and let go of Jess, motioning for her to sit down.
"You need to hear this now, so you have time to prepare yourself. You panicked when Nick appeared out of nowhere and –"
"Cece, just spit it out!" Jess interrupted, her good humor dissipating slightly.
"Reagan is back in town... for good. She got a new pharmaceutical job, a permanent one here in L.A."
Cece eyed Jess warily, and the latter let out a deep breath before breaking eye contact and standing to her feet.
"That's great," Jess deadpanned and started for her bedroom door.
"Great?"
"Yes, great. Look. Nick is happy, and that's all that I have ever wanted for him," Jess said before pausing to look back at Cece. "New York gave me a new perspective on life."
She held out her arms wide and did a quick spin as if wanting Cece to imagine the world around her.
"Everything happens for a reason, Ceec. This new Jess is going with the flow. So...yes... prepare yourself for a new more flow-y with the go-y Jess."
Cece sighed and listened to her friend reprise her own "Who's that girl" song, which just replaced Jess with new and improved Jess.
"Okay." Cece waved her hand to get Jess' attention again. "She will be here a lot, babe. I just want you to know that we will be here for you, and after the renovations are complete, you can stay anytime you ne –"
"I'm fine with her being here, Cece," Jess snapped trying to keep her voice cool. "She can move in for all I care."
Jess' eyes darted around the room as if her mind was running a million miles an hour.
"I mean, Schmidt's room will be open soon. Yeah. We can have a loft vote about it!"
Cece stared at Jess and shook her head. "That's a little premat –"
"A loft vote for what?" interrupted Nick as he suddenly appeared at Jess' doorway. Both friends jumped in surprise.
Cece watched Jess' face flush red as Nick squeezed her arm and casually leaned against the opposite side of the door frame.
"Nick, hi! Where did you… we thought you were at the bar."Cece said coolly.
"Oh, yeah. I went in for a couple of hours. I came back to change and shower. I'm about to run and pick up –"
"FOR REAGAN, OF COURSE!" Jess interrupted, her voice was frazzled and a bit too loud for her and Nick's current proximity.
"Huh?"
Nick was now staring into Jess' wide eyes, his own crinkled in confusion. She stared back and felt her breath catch in her throat. He was so close she could smell his woodsy aftershave and the hint of beer. He looked so good. Crap. She needed to get out of here... now.
Breathe, you clown, she told herself.
"What about Reagan?" came Winston's voice from the kitchen.
Cece stared at her friend's panicked eyes and then closed her own as Jess yelled, "LOFT VOTE TONIGHT!"
After a pained smile from Cece, Jess awkwardly saluted her friends and ran out the loft door, slamming it behind her.
Nick looked at Cece in bewilderment, and Winston peeked his head into the room.
"I don't know what this vote is about, but Ferguson will be a part of it. I don't care what Schmidt says. He's a cat... yeah, but he is also our roommate! He hid in the cabinet for a week when you all laughed him out of the last vote. Wouldn't even drink from the damn sex mug, and he loves it! I'm not going through that again."
"Whatever, Winnie. I don't even know what we are voting –" Nick looked to Cece for an answer.
"Woo! Then, we are agreed!" cheered Winston before running off. "Ima tell him right now. He's going to be so excited! Loft Vote!"
"Wait a sec," Nick called after him. "Ferguson has the sex mug?"
About two miles down the road, Jess felt all the blood come back into her ears and brain. Panic started to settle into her gut.
"Reagan? Move in? Loft vote? What just happened?
