Ok, first off, I need to give a big "Thank You" to Navy for beta-ing this for me, and a Big Hug to Tina for being there for me…Love you both and thank you so much…As for this fic, I must say I am very scared here. This is the first time I've ever done this. I know it says "by butterflyswest" but as you can tell this is done by me, Jenn. I mean really…does Krissy need a beta when she writes? That would be a "NO"! I most of the time need spell check on IM. But here's the deal, really…I did this first and foremost for Krissy. She is always telling me that I can do it, and I'm always telling her that she's crazy. But I'm giving it a shot. This fic is dedicated to Krissy, who can always see what I can do when I don't see it myself. She always has faith in me whenever I don't have faith in myself. So here's to you, my best dear friend. I hope everyone likes this…
Jenn
"Something on your mind?" asked Abby as she snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Ray! Earth to Ray!"
Ray looked up from the chart he had been writing in and looked at her. "Uh, what?" he asked.
"I asked if there was something on your mind."
"Uh…yes…no…maybe. I don't know," Ray fumbled.
"Wow. Must be that bad," said Abby.
"Well, yes it is, but, never mind, Abby," said Ray.
Abby crossed her arms and stared intently at Ray. "Ray." Her voice was a little soft, but demanding.
"What, Abby?" Ray asked, shrugging.
"You can tell me, you know," Abby said, hiding a smile.
"Ah, no. Not this," Ray spoke in a low voice.
Abby leaned in closer. Making sure no one was listening, she whispered, "If it's about Neela, you can tell me, Ray."
Ray scoffed. "Right. Me and Neela." He looked at Abby, who seemed unimpressed by his attempt at being macho and tough. He sighed. "I can't, Abby, so please just drop it, ok?" asked Ray as he headed to the lounge.
"You know I can't, Ray," Abby tried to joke, but seeing his insistent walk towards the lounge, she followed him. "I know what it is, Ray."
Again, Ray scoffed as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He faced Abby. "No, you don't, Abby."
Abby smiled, knowing she had to get him to admit what she already knew. The whole damn ER saw it, yet Ray and Neela seemed oblivious to it. She poured herself a cup of coffee, while devising a plan to get Ray to at least say it. Saying it out lout to someone else may make him realize it and tell her. "Yes, Ray, I do know what it is."
Abby's smile and persistence was beginning to bug Ray. He felt like slamming his mug on the counter, but chose to softly set it down. He looked at Abby, trepidation in his eyes. "Ok, then, Abby, since you know what it is, why don't you tell me what you think you know? Because I don't know anything any more."
Victory! Abby gloated in her mind. "Ok, Ray. I'll tell you what I know and I know you know. You just won't do anything about it."
"Oh this should be good!" said Ray as he crossed his arms and leaned against the edge of the counter. "Wait. Let me guess…"
"You love her, Ray," Abby interrupted him.
"Love who, Abby?" Ray leaned towards her.
"Come on, Ray. You know who 'she' is."
"Again, Abby. I'll ask. I love who?"
Abby looked at him, knowing he was trying to play a mind game with her. He can try to play with my mind, but I'll show him who's the smart one here. "Neela, Ray. You love Neela."
"What?" Ray asked, pretending to be dumbfounded by the idea. How the fuck did she figure it out?
"Come on, Ray. We all know you do, so just say it," Abby prodded.
"And what is it exactly I'm supposed to say, Abby?" asked Ray.
"That you love her." Abby knew she had him pinned. Break, boy, break.
"I think you're mistaken, Abby, as is everyone else, because I don't," Ray lied.
Abby knew the game Ray was trying to play, but she wouldn't give in. "Yes, Ray. You do. We all know it."
"Then you're all wrong." Ray sipped his coffee, whishing it was gin.
"Come on, Ray. Just admit you love her." Abby was persistent.
"No." Ray was just as persistent as Abby. If not more so, he thought.
"Yes, you are!" By now, Abby was shouting at him.
Ray sighed. He never meant to fall in love with Neela, and he certainly never meant for anyone to know that he had. He was going to stick to his guns and insist Abby and the entire ER had it wrong. "No!" He was now shouting back at her.
"Just say it, Ray." Abby smiled. "Here, I'll help you." Abby placed her hands on Ray's face, moving his jaw up and down like he was a ventriloquist dummy. "I'm Ray, and I love Neela."
Ray took hold of Abby's hand. In a small, unsteady, and unsure voice, he spoke. "Stop, Abby. I can't. I just can't."
Abby took his other hand in hers and looked deep into his sad eyes. "I know you feel you can't, but, Ray, you can. Yes, Ray, you can." Abby smiled, trying to make him laugh in this situation, tried to sound like a church minister, but she could see it wasn't helping. "Talk to me, Ray. Why can't you say it?"
"Because it hurts too much to say it, Abby." He pulled his hands away and sat on the couch, putting his head into his hands.
"Why?" asked Abby as she sat next to him.
"Because she'll never love me back, Abby," Ray softly responded.
Abby smiled. "Ray, how do you know she doesn't love you already?" She rubbed his shoulders softly.
Ray shrugged, not once looking up. "I don't know. It's just a feeling, I guess."
Abby sighed hard. "Well, your feeling is wrong, Ray," she stated matter of factly.
This time, Ray looked up at her. "And just how do you know that for sure?"
"Ummm, pretty sure."
"'Pretty sure' isn't an answer, Abby. How sure?"
"Really sure," Abby replied, smiling, knowing hergame was beating his.
"Come on, Abby, tell me." Ray's voice sounded hopeful that Neela had shared some piece of information with Abby that he didn't know.
"Nope." Abby was going to play her game and make him say it.
"Come on, Abby, please!" Ray was now sounding like a child who wanted to know everything…Like how she knew Santa existed.
Abby smiled, knowing she won. "Ok, here's the deal, Ray. I'll tell you what I know, and how I know it, when you say that you love Neela." Abby leaned back. Victory! She celebrated in her head.
Ray couldn't believe what he just heard. "What? You're kidding, right, Abby?" he asked, hoping she was.
"No, I'm not. Now just say it, Ray," Abby said, trying to contain her smile of victory.
Ray held his hands up in defeat. "Ok! Alright! Shit, Abby! I love Neela…I love Neela. There does that make you happy that I said it?" Ray's voice was sarcastic, but he felt relief in saying it as well.
Abby smiled. "Yes, Ray. It makes me very happy," Abby said as she opening the door. "Think it's about time you told Neela?" She didn't wait for a reply as she headed back onto the floor to see more patients.
Ray ran after her. "Wait, Abby. Where are you going and what about our deal? I told you, so now you have to tell me what you know and how you know it."
I can't believe he actually fell for it! "Oh, yeah. That," Abby replied with a smile on her face. "I don't know anything, but I got you to say it, didn't I? Now go tell her." She picked up a chart. "I have patients to see."
"Abby." Ray's voice was stern as he spoke to her as she was leaving.
Abby stopped to look at him again with a smile on her face. "Yeah, Ray?"
He stepped in closer to her and lowered his voice. "I love Neela."
Abby smiled. "I know. Now go tell her what you just told me." She started to walk off again.
"Hey, Abby?"
"Yeah?"
Ray smiled shyly. "Thanks."
Abby smiled back at him. "Anytime." She walked toward curtain one.
As she walked away, Ray found that he couldn't stop saying it. "I love Neela," he sing songed. He knew Abby was right, and he finally felt he was comfortable enough to tell Neela. He turned to go and find her, but stopped when he turned around to see Neela standing there. As he froze to the spot where he was, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Had she been there the whole time? Did she hear what he had said?
With a small smiled on her face, she walked over to him. She looked up at him and took his hands in hers, and in a small voice said, "I love you, too, Ray."
