Author: Mitsaso
E-mail: , Mitsasoin.gr
Archive: I would love it if my fics could spread around and infect the world in the form of archiving! Just inform me first so that I can cackle evilly while my plan comes to a conclusion!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the X-Men; they belong to Marvel and Stan Lee. I swear to return them back to their place once I finish playing with them. They will be unharmed, except for their poor vocal chords, who will be irreversibly overused after the end of this fic. No profit is made of this story, so please hold back the urge to sue me. However, I can still be sued about the severed vocal chord thing, in case Marvel decides to attach wav. files in their comics only to find that the X-characters can't sing anymore!
Rating: PG-13. There might be some intense language, even in the singing process.
Summary: Five years after her heroic death in the hands of Magneto, the Phoenix returns, and she's back in heat! Plus, she's got a serious inclination to singing and dancing, and the same goes for everyone else in the whole story as well! So...let the show begin! (Now that I think about it, it just seems like my very own, twisted little version of X-Men: The End)
Warnings: This story is in a musical format! Almost everyone gets to sing in this fic, and most of the songs also proceed the story by giving information and doing stuff. There are 14 songs (most of them well-known) used in this fic, and most of the songs have many of their lyrics altered to fit the story better. A few of them are untouched, though. It would add to the story if you guys had some of these songs already and listened to them during their "usage" in the fic, since you would be able to 'visualize' the whole scene. A list of the songs used is right here, placed in order of usage. But since most of them are modified to accommodate the needs of the story, there will also be the name of the modified version of the song as used in the fic. The copyrights belong to the people who created them (though it's a little difficult to name them all, so I'll name none).
1) Fly Me To The Moon - Eva Cassidy (this song is intact in this story, just added it for the heck of it).
2) Staying Alive - Bee Gees (the title is the same, but the rest of the song has been changed from the singing Phoenix)
3) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cindy Lauper (in the story it's "X-Girls Just Wanna Have Fun")
4) She - Elvis Costello (the lyrics are almost intact here, same goes for the title.)
5) How Deep is Your Love - Bee Gees (but Scott Summers sings it as "How Deep Is Your Grave")
THE ALL-SINGING, ALL-DANCING RETURN OF THE PHOENIX
Part 1: "The All-Singing, All-Dancing Ressurection of The Phoenix"
The dark depths of space welcomed the penetrating presence of the big, metal object who was traveling close to the big, blue planet, whose own inhabitants used to call "Earth".
A big, red 'X' was formed on the front of the aforementioned metal object, revealing that it was a spaceship that had exited the atmosphere of Earth a few hours ago. Actually, it wasn't even designed as just a spaceship. It was just that all current X-Jets were equally capable of handling space travel as well as short flights to the closest city or something.
One could tell that there must have been serious business for an X-Jet to travel in space, maybe another intergalactic danger or a diplomatic episode with an alien tribe. But none of those were true in this occasion, since the two people inside the X-Jet were taking a short space-trip.
Alex Summers, brother of Cyclops, the leader of the X-Men, had just married the woman of his life, Annie Ghazikanian, and as a honeymoon trip they had chosen a short walk on the moon...I mean, what could be more romantic than being taken to the moon with your newlywed husband? Annie's son, Carter, was left with the Mansion's staff to be baby-sitted, and now Annie and Havok could enjoy their space honeymoon with no worries about anyone's safety.
And Annie surely must have agreed to this idea of Alex, because she was now singing with a sweet abandon to her guy, a song that seemed to really fit the occasion, considering that the X-Jet-Spaceship was heading to the moon... Mood music filled the limited air in the jet and Annie's relaxed voice echoed all over the place...
"Fly me to the moon
Let me play among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling kiss me"
Continuing her sweet and romantic song, Annie hugged her hubby and pecked his cheek as he kept driving the Jet towards the moon's surface. A satisfied and flattered smile swept across his blushing face.
"Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you"
As her unusually talented voice filled the room, the stars seemed to shine a little brighter through the unbreakable glass that parted the Jet's interior from the outer space, adding to the atmosphere.
"Fly me to the moon
Let me play among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, darling kiss me"
Her song came close to an end just as the Jet was landing on the moon's surface, and guess what; the supposedly cold and unwelcoming surface of the moon almost seemed decorated with small shining lights all over the place (but really, it was just the stars). Annie stared outside the window in awe and excitement as she finished her song.
"Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be trueeeeeeeeee
In other words, I love yououououououou
In other words, I love you"
A few moments after the jet had landed, Alex and Annie descended from it, wearing their not-so-romantic astronaut-like suits. Holding hands, they jumped together above a small crater, giggling in the process.
"This is so neat, if someone told me years ago that my first honeymoon would be on the moon's surface, I would have called him crazy....among other, heavier names." she said to Alex in a happy schoolgirl voice.
"I'm glad you like it, honey." was all that he could respond in his post-marriage bliss.
"And I'm glad that you finally decided to make that damn proposal...Who could believe that you would wait for your older brother to remarry before you finally took the decision to follow his example once more..."
"Excuse me, what does that mean? Did you imply that I always mimic Scott?"
"In this case it's not really a negative, I mean, after all, I got to marry you." She just kept rambling, unaware of how mean her previous words sounded.
"Annie, you-" he began to talk, but as they were jumping over another crater, they realized that it was too big for them to reach the other side, and they fell inside.
They both landed on their butts, but although the altitude they fell off from was pretty high, the absence of gravity made the fall quite slow, harmless, even pleasant.
"Wheeeee!" Annie said as the ride down ended. "Let's do it again!"
"No, wait...what is this place?" Alex said as his head rotated, taking in the sight of the strange place around them. The crater was full of bizarre alien ruins, most of them made of stone or carved on the stony ground.
"Whoa. Suddenly our honeymoon trip also got an archaeological interest!" Annie said with added excitement. Not any newlywed bride would be able to visit alien ruins on her honeymoon, and she was the only one who had that privilege. Even with the con of being unable to do the smoochie-smoochie with her husband due to those stupid spacesuits.
"I think those are Shi'Ar ruins or something...I don't know, I never paid enough attention to those special alien geography classes anyway!" Annie couldn't tell if Alex was joking or there really were such classes back at that wacky mansion of theirs...so she just gave in to her inner voices who were encouraging her to do groundbreaking stuff;
"So? C'mon, let's explore this place! I want to get to know for myself what all these ruins are!" she said, poking Havok at the shoulder, making him go further towards the main temple-like abandoned building.
As they entered the weird temple and went further in, their attention was drawn to the stone-carved chapel at the back of the temple.
"What is this?" Annie asked, gaping inside the chapel.
Inside the rather large chapel, a huge egg was lying...it was big enough for a medium sized dinosaur to hatch it.
"Oh my god...I certainly don't want to be around when this egg's mommy comes around..." Annie said with a trembling voice.
"Annie dear...I don't think that any kind of egg-bearing monster would choose this cold place as a nest...it certainly isn't the most appropriate place to raise babies either..."
"That's bull Alex... What do you suggest; that this egg was abandoned here? What if the thing that left this overgrown golf ball here just decides to return and feed it with us? Oh Alex, I told you we should have gone to Myconos instead...!"
"Annie, could you please --just shut up! I just remembered what this thing here reminded me of!"
"You mean, you've seen it again?"
"Yeah! This--this egg....it's Jean!"
"Jean? Oh, you mean that redhead that your brother was married to when I first came to the mansion? The one that Xorn-Magneto killed a few months later and is supposed to always return from the dead, but we haven't heard from for the last five years? It's that Jean that you're talking about? Jean Grey-Summers?"
"Jeez, Annie! You sound like some stupid recap page! Cut it out! It's creepy!"
"Well, I never knew that your ex-sister-in-law would be an amphibian..."
"...WHAT!?!"
"Well....she is in an egg, isn't she?"
"Yeah, Annie, you're right, the Phoenix Force inside Jean is really a gigantic flaming frog."
"So, what are we going to do with this? Crack it open?"
"ANNIE!"
"What? Was it something I said?"
"For the love of God, we can't crack the Phoenix egg open! What if Jean is not ready to hatch yet? We might kill her!"
"Well, she can't hatch by herself! Isn't there, like, a huge frog that can sit on it and warm it up until it hatches?"
"Frog eggs hatch by themselves, Annie dear. They don't need Momma Froggie to warm them."
"Well, this is different. Maybe we're supposed to warm it up ourselves, with blankets or your powers or something. We could at least call back home and tell them we found her, and then transport her back to Earth and wait for her to hatch."
Until that moment, the poor Phoenix egg had gotten tired and frustrated by their ongoing rambling and decided to hatch by itself. As the egg slowly cracked open, a great shine came out of its insides and illuminated the whole temple, startling Alex and Annie who were lost on their argument till then.
A flaming female figure appeared through the blinding light and with slender moves exited the egg she was resting in until that moment.
The light slowly subsided, and Jean Grey -Summers' figure was now clear, her fiery curls framing her pale face like a raging fire. More accurately, her hair was made of flames!
As she looked at the humans who had awakened her, a funky tune suddenly started playing, a very well-known funky tune indeed.
The Phoenix started shaking her hips with the tune and ran a hand sensually down her thigh as a huge disco ball came out of nowhere and levitated above her head.
The ultimate superficial being, the devourer of galaxies and the life and power incarnate, the Phoenix Force, began singing with a polyphonic voice her own version of a very popular song among the simple, mortal humans:
"Well, you can tell by the way my hair's on fire,
I'm da Phoenix Force and I'm getting high!
Shi'Ar armies, alien clones, I've been killed around
Since I was born.
But now it's all right!-- It's OK!
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
Why can't I just stay dead for once!"
A ballet of human-shaped flames appeared around the flame-headed Phenoix and joined her in the chorus, at the same time swinging their hips and pointing to the roof a la John Travolta.
"Whether you're a husband or a surrogate father,
I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the planet breakin' and everybody shakin', people,
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive!
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' aliveeeeeeeeeeeee!"
With a gusto that the world had never witnessed again, The Phoenix resumed her solo singing as her fiery replicates kept doing funky dancing tricks behind her, making it seem like Disco music and the 70's had never been out of fashion, just abducted and brought over there, the surface of the moon, reliving all the glory they once rejoiced!
"Well now, I was low but I got back high,
And if I can't get even, I really shall try.
Got the Phoenix fires on my shoes;
I'm a bit of undead so I just can't lose.
You know it's all right! It's OK!
I'll live to see another day.
Now I can try to get back home
And see the reaction of my homme!"
"Whether you're a husband or a surrogate father,
I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the planet breakin' and everybody shakin', people,
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive."
As the Phoenix and her (literally!) flame-dancers kept dancing and singing in synch, the temple around them started glowing in every color of the rainbow. Alex and Annie were too terrified and amazed at the superficial video clip in front of their eyes to realize that the whole moon had turned into a giant shiny Disco Ball!
"How will I find Xavier's?. Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah.
How will I find Xavier's? Somebody help me, yeah.
Stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiiiive!"
With a sudden move of her hand, Jean made her flame ballet pulverize into thin air and kept going solo, this time dancing ON the disco ball.
"Well, you can tell by the way I got revived,
I'm a mighty bitch who's hard to die
I gave my life some years ago, just to fix my hubby up
with some wicked ho'.
But now it's all right! It's OK!
I'm kicking her outta my way.
I was too kind with both of them
But now their cheating butts are dead!.
Whether you're a husband or a bitching little mistress,
I'm stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the planet breakin' and everybody shakin', people,
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive!
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!"
As the loud music and the cosmic singing abruptly ended, Annie and Alex were left there, looking at Jean with newfound awe.
"Hello dears. Missed me?" Jean said, using her intimidating Phoenix voice.
"Jean! Eh-eh, we-we didn't expect to see you again so soon!" Alex mumbled out as he poked Annie to make sure she wouldn't say something stupid as usual and anger the Phoenix.
"What do you mean 'so soon'?" Jean said, switching back to her normal voice. "How long had I been...developing?" she added, glimpsing for a second behind her, at the broken remains of the huge egg.
"Well, it has been...well, five years." Alex responded and closed his eyes, fearing her reaction. The truth is, he didn't know much about the nature of the Phoenix Force, because she would never react like a bitchy woman on PMS when she heard something unpleasant, and she certainly wouldn't take her anger on some innocent messenger.
However, Jean by herself wasn't going to be exactly that cool with that.
"FIVE YEARS?!?" she mouthed in hysterical shock. This is too much? Well, is Scott okay? Did I miss anything? Is he still with that...-"
"Everyone is fine, Jean, but you really must know a few things before going to-"
"Ohhh, the burden! The agony! All these little questions, the curiosity, the excitement! I can't just sit here and wait for you to fill me in! I have to get there and get to know by myself, in the most direct way possible!" she interrupted him.
Alex just winced at the mental image of Jean finding out about everything in an abrupt way, with no prep talks and such stuff. But he decided to stick to his initial plan, which was not to anger Jean-and therefore the cosmic force inside her.
"Do you want us to get you back home with our spaceship?", he offered. That way they could somehow fill her in the last five years on the way back home.
"Don't be silly! I'm the Phoenix! I can fly there in a few minutes if I want to." she said as she slowly began to 'flame on' and rise from ground level. "What were you two doing here in the first place, anyway?" she expressed this little question as soon as it came up her brown matter.
"Honeymoon", Annie mouthed, breaking her silence, and flashed a blinding smile, putting her arms around her husband and imitating some family ad for a washing machine back in the 50's.
"Ohhhh! I'm so happy for you! Well, see? I wouldn't want to interrupt your honeymoon anyway, if you guys had to fly me back home!" a sweet smile formed on her face as she began flying towards the exit. "Excuse me, but I have to leave this place. You should now how hard it is to spend 5 whole years without sex, right? So I gotta find Scott ASAP!"
"Jean, I wouldn't..." Annie tried to inform her of something, but Alex pinched her elbow and made her shut up. So Jean felt free to continue her greeting words:
"Well, it was good to see you! we'll meet again back home, darlings! Ta-ta!"
"Eeeer...bye." they said in unison. And that was all they said until they were sure that the Phoenix was long gone. Because once they were sure she was gone, Annie was hasty to break the silence:
"Well, Alex dear, shouldn't we be going as well? I'm not exactly in the mood for more alien-relic-exploring anymore."
"Are you kidding? I'm not going back to Earth with Jean there, especially once she gets to know what happened those last five years! We're staying here for as long as possible."
"But, Alex-"
"My decision is final. Now, let's stick to that exploring-plan we initially came up with, okay?"
The Xavier Institute For Higher Learning.
Everything seemed calm and serene at the current residence of the X-Men. It was Sunday morning and there were no classes for the mansion's resident mutant students or teachers (and good-natured do-gooders), so everyone must have been still sleeping or chilling inside the mansion. But the sun was warm and shiny and the temperature logically warm (which meant that Storm wasn't on a bad hair day), so anytime now someone had to come out and enjoy the weather.
And they did. The main door of the mansion abruptly opened, and some women got out in the sun, just as soon as some cheerful teen pop music sprung into existence. The group of ladies consisted of Rogue, Kitty Pride and Polaris, who were being led by an all happy-go-lucky, funky-dory Jubilee. They all were cheerfully walking towards the pond in the Institute's vicinity, and Jubilee was going ahead of them, as the others were smiling, even laughing, and carrying stuff like towels, sunscreen and other fun-in-the-sun related things. They walked and walked, and their movement was funky and accorded to the music.
Jubes was the one who began singing just as the music was getting to a point where it should be accompanied by someone's voice:
"Come home
With the morning light
When we have just gone through a huge superhero fight
We gotta sit back and simply slack off
X-girls, they wanna have fun
X-girls just wanna have fun
The com rings
In the middle of the night
And our team leader says "We gotta saves lives tonite"
Oh Cyclops dear, too much work makes a gal tired
X-girls they wanna have fun
X-girls just wanna have
Thats all they really waaaaaaaaaaaant
Some fuuuuuun
When the ass-kickin' day is done
X-girls they wanna have fun
Oh X-girls just wanna have fun"
All the other ladies chorused her with wide smiles as they followed her, imitating her semi-walking, semi-dancing movement while Jubilee did a circle around herself while walking with large steps:
"--Girls, they wanna
wanna have fun"
Girls,
wanna have--"
They started whistling to the song's tune as they finally reached the pond. Arranging their towels on the grass and they all started undressing, getting ready to lie down and enjoy the sun on their mutant skin. However, Jubilee only had to take off her yellow trench coat, revealing her glowing pink bath suit underneath. Therefore she didn't have to take any other clothes off and simply put on her cool fuchsia sunglasses as she resumed her lead singing, flashing an "I look so cool in those" grin at the imaginary camera:
"All these years
many shit have occurred
Ol' Magneto thrashed our home--we had to built it again
And all our missions were a big, tiring bore
Now girls, they wanna have fun
And X-girls just wanna have
That's all they really waaaaaaaaaant
Is some fuuuuuuuuuuuun
When the heroing day is done
X-girls they wanna have fun
X-girls just wanna have fun"
The other ladies had by then left only their bikinis and sunglasses on and lied on their towels,so they resumed to support Jubilee's singing, all the time swinging their long, beautiful legs back and forth in synchrony above their sprowled bodies. They also had their books out and in front of them, and they opened them and closed them in synch with the beat.
"--Girls, they wanna
wanna have fun"
Girls,
wanna have--
They just wanna--They just wanna--
They just wanna--They just wanna--
--girls--
--girls just wanna have fun
They just wanna--They just wanna--
They just wanna--They just wanna--
They just wanna--They just wanna
--girls--
--girls just wanna have fun
When the ass-kickin'--
When the ass-kickin' day is done--
Oh when the ass-kickin'day is done
Oh girls--
X-girls just wanna have fun"
Suddenly Rogue got up from her towel and went after a startled Jubilee, who run for cover in the pond. Both Storm and Lorna also stood up and joined the others in the warm water. They were all a happy party of girls who were having fun in a normal day in the X-Mansion. Water splashed from their hands to all directions and made their hair (who until then hadn't been dipped in the water for obvious reasons) a real wet mess. And as they sang and laughed and giggled, the song reached to an end.
"They just wanna--They just wanna--
They just wanna--They just wanna--
--X-girls
X-girls just wanna have fun
When the heroing
When the heroing day is done
Oh when the ass-kickin' day is done
X-girls
X-girls just wanna have fun"
What the girls didn't notice while playing in the pond, was that it came from the sky. insert horror crescendo here
The massive blob of fire that descended from the atmosphere was resembling a comet, a comet of such girth that could put the planet in an pre-dinosaur era once more. However, as the big fiery thing that came from the sky closed in, its huge edges of fire began to fade away, and the unknown flaming object seemed smaller and smaller instead of bigger.
Eventually, the object was close enough for Polaris to notice it.
"Jubilee! ALL OF YOU! Get out of the water!"
Then she realized that the still diminishing comet-like thing was slowly taking the form of... a woman with her hair on fire. A woman that splashed head-first in the pond and made hot water fly everywhere, as the small pond began boiling.
"What the hell is that?!?" Jubilee's extremely rational question was instantly raised.
"It mus' have been some kind of comet." was Rogue's most logical conclusion.
"No...no. I saw it. It is..."
"What is it, Lorna?" Both girls could tell that there were already enough dramatic pauses in this story.
But it was too late for the specific dramatic pause to be broken. The pond's water had been boiling to such an extreme temperature that most of it had already turned into aerial form. A figure was now apparent into the shallow (still) boiling waters, and it didn't look like a big alien rock or something.
"Jean?"
The woman took her time to exit the big bump in the ground that was once called "a pond" and then got the time to look at the three other women (yup, five years had passed, now even Jubilee can be called a 'woman'!).
"I believe that would be me. You know, it is amazing how one can die, hatch from a cosmic egg a few years later and still remain the same."
The three X-Girls looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Maybe they just didn't realize how lucky they were that there was no Dark Phenoix this time to come loose onto their asses.
"I can tell that there have been some great changes since the last time I was here. Care to show me around? Or maybe I should go straight to my Scottie-boy and get some welcoming smoochies from him first."
This time the looks that the gals exchanged were with worrying crossed eyebrows and not ironic, raised ones. There was something wrong and Jean couldn't tell what it was. But they were absolutely sure that once Jean found out what was wrong, a lot of other things would also go wrong and then there would be too many wrong stuff for them to hang around. And that would be the case only if Jean wasn't the Dark Phoenix; cause in that case the only thing guaranteed would be Jean shaking hips over a flaming Institute singing "Burning Down The Mansion".
"Eeer... you know, Jean, we're actually a bit too busy to show you around right now; but just you wait a little over here and we'll send a student to get you a complete tour of our rebuilt mansion. Okay?" Jubilee's mind seemed to do all the evil thinking around there since Bobby Drake (the other resident mischief maker) had left the mansion (but that's a story we'll indulge into later). They could have a total newbie come over there and do the dirty work; show the Phoenix around, including getting her to Cyclops. In the meanwhile, Jubes and the others could use those precious moments to pack their suitcases and leave the campus just in time to miss the beautiful, cosmic fireworks that everybody knew the Phoenix could provide.
"...and this is the place where the students are supposed to eat...let me see, how was it called again...?"
"...The Restaurant?" the Phoenix offered a piece of her never-ending wisdom, inherited to her by a countless number of previous Phoenixes. She was supposed to be shown around the place, but it seemed like she was the one giving the tour here.
"Yeah! That's right! The restaurant!" the hyper energetic teenager exclaimed as his crystal green eyes gleamed with excitement for the enlightenment he just had. Then he gestured for her to follow him to yet another part of the Institute whose name he couldn't recall.
"What was your name again? Mortem?"
"Nope. Actually, it's Morten. I'm from Iceland."
"I don't recall seeing you here again. So that means you have been a student here for less than five years, right?" They were now making their way through a large corridor, against a massive wave of delirious students who had just finished their last period for the day.
"Yeah! I'm what you Americans would call a newbrie. Considering I had been here for a month and all." He flashed a smile of excitement and his whitish teeth made a huge contrast to the pitch black mass of hair on top of his head.
"Then why the hell did they make you give me the tour, of all people?" Jean uttered with ever-growing suspicion, resisting the urge to correct all the little stabs the boy was giving to the poor English language.
"Jubes said that since I was the last one who was given a tour, I would also be the one who could remember how to give one as well. Makes sense to me." They stepped into a huge hi-tech room of circular shape. "That's is the Endangered Room."
"Really? What do they use it for?" she tried to hide a smile under the pretense that she was sweeping an eyelash from her lips. She was sure that by the end of that tour, she would have a hell of a laugh material...if she hadn't "cleansed" the boy of the face of the planet first. There was only a number of grammar errors a devourer of galaxies could take.
"Er...I think it's used for extreme skateboarding contests. I mean, look at how lean those surfaces are!"
"So, you a mutant?" she tried to avert the subject from the tour of the mansion. Maybe if she got to know the boy a little more, she would became emotionally attached to him and resist with greater ease the urge to 'cleanse' him.
"Not exactly. Doctor McCoy said I'm a paramutant. Or a semi-mutant. Or whatever." Morten shrugged off the trouble of finding the right words to his situation by a single movement of his shoulders.
"How is that even possible? You're supposed to either be born a mutant or not." Jean was getting intrigued. It sure beat the alternative of being shown around places like "the place where the students work out" and "the glass thing where that white-haired black chick keeps her flora".
"There's a long story behind it. A few years back I had some health problems that were fixed with a kidney transplant. It turned out that the donor was a mutant, and part of his powers was based on his kidney functions."
"That was the shortest 'long story' I have heard in all of my lives."
"I guess." They entered a huge space that resembled the insides of a metal ball. A steep corridor led to a device with a helmet attached to it, right beside a comfy chair. "This is the Cerebra Room."
"Hey! You got that one right!"
"That's why I am the one giving the tour to the other" his smart-ass comment came awfully off the wall. "This is where telepaths can augment their powers and reach into minds of many people at the same time.
Jean was astounded that the teen could use a difficult English word like "augment".
"Or at least that's what it says on the little label-thing beside the door." Morten added with an innocent grin.
Jean groaned with desperation. "So, what can you do with that mutant kidney of yours?"
"Okay, you had enough exposure to this room already. Our next stop is the Infirmary, which is also Dr. McCoy's lab. There you can get some more info on my mutant powers." He walked to the opened door and held it open for the present lady to exit first.
"Just admit it. You can't define what your powers are." she gave him a smirk as she walked out of the Cerebra room.
And that was when Logan saw her, for the first time after all those years. All these miserable years that seemed to pass a lot faster when Jean was around, even though she always belonged to someone else. And now, she just walked out of the Cerebra room and into his life again, and the single second that took her to make a few steps right after she came out of that door seemed even longer to him, only because of the shock that had occurred to him and made everything flow slower that a dying snail.
And in that moment of shock and realization, when Jean Grey-Summers moved in extra-slow motion, a choir of angels was summoned to Logan's side and a romantic ballad started playing, accompanying Jean's eternal walk. A small, cute cherub was sitting by a white mini piano on a small cloud above Logan's head and was giving Beethoven a run for his money!
The leader of the imaginary angels looked a lot like Warren (actually, it was Warren; just in Logan's mind), wearing a long white angel robe and he burst into song right into Wolverine's ear, while Logan was still watching slow-motion-Jean with astounded puppy-dog-eyes.
"She
may be the face you can't forget
a trace of pleasure or regret
may be your treasure or the price you have to pay
she may be the song that Solomon sings
may be the chill that autumn brings
may be a hundred different things
within the measure of a day
She
may be the beauty or the beast
may be the famine or the feast
may turn each day into a heaven or a hell
she may be the mirror of your dreams
a smile reflected in a stream
she may not be what she may seem
inside a shell"
A triplet of other cherubs were now hovering on the left side of Logan's and they were moving their entwined fists in front of the left side of their chests, mimicking a slow heartbeat that could also be heard alongside the music from the piano. Another cherub was flying above slow-motion-Jean and the little punk was bathing her in a rain of pink rose petals which it took out of a cute little basket it held to its side.
"Sheeeeeee,
who always seems so happy 'n proud
who's eyes can be so private and so proud
no one's allowed to see them when they cry
she may be the love that can and hope to last
may come to you from shadows of the past
that you'll remember till the day you die"
Jean was turning her head around (probably to talk to somebody who walked behind her) and her beautiful crimson hair flied in the air, making an arc around the side of her godlike face in the most cliche of ways, while the imaginary rose petals stuck to her beautiful hair and created a heavenly mental image. Logan just kept taking in the sight in front of him with the most adorable (yet pathetic for a man of his stature) look on his face. He was star-struck and his heart was pulverized into a billion pieces for her like never before, and the visionary facade with the choir of angles around him meant that he now was Love's bitch. And vision-Warren was simply informing him of this new situation with the last words of his song:
"She
may be the reason you survive
the why and where for you're alive
the one you'll care for through the rough and rainy years
you--you'll take her laughter and her tears
and make them all your souvenirs
for where she goes you gotta be
the meaning of your life is
Sheee,
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
ohh sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...."
After that frozen-in-time moment, the meaning of Logan's life was she. Well, she always was, but even after this new -obviously-revival of hers nothing of romantic nature could happen between the two of them.
Or could it?
After Jean's death his life had turned into a crappy imitation of what it once used to be. Jeannie was gone, the Professor had left the school in order to start over his life in what used to be Genosha and other X-Men -good friends of his- had left the mansion because they were having their own issues. It was like being a superhero wasn't providing the innocent do-gooding life it used to. Sure, there were some people who remained the same, but...the whole situation seemed bizarre. Scott wasn't the same. Iceman had left, stricken by the combination of being unable to turn back to his human form and his disastrous love life (or the absence of one). Plus the whole thing going on with Scott and Emma was making him sick inside, for several different reasons. Hank was hidden in his lab, since the absence of his best friends and the unsettling life in the Institute made him wanna bail from anything resembling a personal life. Alex Summers and his nurse of a wife were pretty happy, but always living on their own little planet. Now, they were oh-so-fittingly out of the planet. And -the worst of all-, Storm had changed her hairstyle again.
That last thought made Logan wince and all of the sudden the moment which was trapped in slow motion had passed. Everything was moving at the same speed as his relaxed mind.
"Oh--this one standing over there is Wolverine, the fiercest and deadliest mutant on the planet! But he's pretty friendly once you get to meet him, though. Come on, let me introduce you people!" the voice of a certain Icelandic teenager echoed on his hypersensitive ears.
"Logan!" she said out loud and he could listen to her heartbeat getting as fast as his own. She ran to him and embraced him, hanging onto him as if they hadn't seen each other for years and years.
Which was practically true in every single aspect of the phrase.
"So, I take it that you guys know each other?"
Jean broke their embrace to look at Logan face-to-face and snug him a 'Jeannie-knows-better' mischievous grin. "Isn't it obvious that someone hasn't been doing his studying on X-Men history?"
They cracked up. Jean giggled like a schoolgirl. Logan also giggled, but in a more manly, mature kind of way.
But the important thing was that they acted like old friends again. Not what Logan wanted at the time (since his frozen moment with the singing angles and stuff that made him realize what he wanted of her), but it was a good starting point.
"Quite the reunion, huh? Well, so much for touring Genie around. It seems that you can show her around much better than me." Morten complained, unaware that he was the reason the older mutants were laughing all along.
"But that would take out all the fun!" Jean squealed, and took the boy by the hand. "Now, where is the Infirmary we were talking about?" she said, gesturing to Logan to join them on her tour. With Logan around, she was sure that the little voice deep in her head telling her to rip the boy's head off on his next misspelling would shut up.
"And it's Jean, not Genie." Logan added with a smirk, as they all started walking towards the next stop on Jean's tour.
As he followed an unusually quiet Morten and an equally unusually chirp Jean, Logan's thoughts trailed over the reasons that a newbie in the mansion -that would be Morten- had already established a relationship with the antisocial loner of the mansion.
It was just his luck. Just as soon as Jubilee had finally grown out of worshipping his every step and (like every self-respecting young woman) was currently more interested in getting friends of her own age, chatting about Sex and the City reruns and finding herself a cool boyfriend, another out-of-place teen had taken up the free spot of 'Wolverine's Groupie'.
Well, it wasn't like the kid was actually hanging with him, neither that he actually worshipped him -that could be kinda gay-,but Wolverine still made sure that they would be seen together long enough to make sure that the other students would not pick on the first semi-mutant to board the Institute. Not that the students actually ever picked on Morten, but Logan just wanted to make sure that this newbie would be considered cool enough to be respectable and make friends of his own age in his new school....
...not to mention that Hank had mentioned that a father figure would be priceless for the boy, given that he was raised by two mothers - you do the math ;-) -and his father was an unknown sperm donor.
Oh, okay, so Logan really missed Jubes.
His little Jubes.
These last few years, for an entirely mysterious reason, Logan had developed a 'father filter'. He always was Jubilee's protector, but the need to act like a father was nudging on the edges of his brain.
And Jubes had grown a lot lately, she had gone through being an actual teenager with teen problems and overworking hormones and stuff. She was such a pain in the ass, and wouldn't even admit it.
She just brushed off Wolverine's concerns and advices like he was her actual father, and now that he thought about it better he felt a little warm inside. To be brushed off and ignored by her meant that she really thought of him as her father. Wasn't that what all kids did to their parents, anyway?
But after a very painful youth, Jubilee had finally matured (at least biologically) and although she still lived in the Institute Logan was feeling lately like she was his daughter who had moved away at college.
He missed the times when she depended on him, bugging him all the damn time.
And now he needed another kid to take care of.
It seemed that Morten was actually his Jubes-substitute.
"It's good when you get to know yourself better" he thought to himself as his previous trail of thoughts ended up with the conclusion that the newbie was actually his foster-child-substitute. He began to smile to himself, but then they finally reached the Infirmary and he stopped in fear of being mistaken for a stupid old man who smiled to himself for no apparent reason.
They walked inside without making their presence known to the sleepy-eyed blue-furred scientist that was leaning on one of the lab's counters, doing something between researching and sleeping.
"Please, come in", Hank mumbled with a semi-conscious voice. He didn't look at the newcomers, taking his time to rub some sleep off his eyes with big, blue paws. Jean, Logan and Morten quietly walked over to him, surrounding him -not in the threatening sense of the phrase, of course.
"Ever the restless guard of the exquisite arts of microscope-engineering and germ-ass-kicking, eh?" Logan said from Hank's left side as the blue warm-hearted giant put his glasses on.
"Are you kidding? Just the germs residing on this big ole pile of dust by his very microscope can kill the populace of two small 3rd world countries!" Morten commented from Hank's right side. The good mood this kid was in every morning without even getting some coffee first was really infuriating.
Hank smiled to his friend Logan as he turned his attention to the teen boy. He obviously hadn't noticed Jean, who was silently standing right behind him. It seemed that all those bestial senses of Dr. McCoy's went downhill until he would get his first cup of coffee for the day.
"In case you wondered, dear Morten, I really have to get some day off to have this place cleaned. Really, it must have been ages since the last time a woman set her foot in here."
"Another record I got to broke today, I guess." Jean suddenly spoke right into Hank's ear, startling him to death.
"Oh my stars and garters!" He yelled as he turned around to face his beloved Jean Grey. No cup of coffee would be needed today, not after that wake-up call.
Jean attempted to make fun of Hank's morning situation, but she found herself buried into a certain Beast's embrace. I guess there were powers even the Phenoix couldn't overcome.
"Yeah, I'm glad to see you too." her muffled voice came from the depths of the Beast's arms.
"When did you get here? What happened?" he released her, breaking his enormous hug.
"Well...you know the drill. Giant Phoenix Egg. Hatching. Blah blah blah."
"Does Scott know you're here?" the next logical question was instantly expressed. It was weird how nobody questioned the means that brought Jean back to life. Was that really such a cliche?
"Not really." She responded. "He will, however, as soon as my friend Morten here gets me to his office."
"Which is our next stop on the Big Tour Of The Mansion, by the way" Morten added with the grin of a toothpaste salesman.
"Why is he giving you the tour, anyway? He's practically a tourist himself." Logan found the chance to join the conversation.
"Am NOT! Just because I'm a semi-mutant doesn't mean I'm not supposed to be here! Hell, Juggernaught lives here and he's only a human!!!" was the immediate bitchy response.
"What is a semi-mutant, anyway?" Jean gracefully changed the subject without really changing it. It was the same subject, but in a manner that would avert any kind of fights. Not that a fight between Logan and that kid would really be a 'fight'.
"The actual term is 'para-mutant'. Something we met before on the threat of the U-Men, you know, that sect/organization that "borrowed" mutant organs in order to give mutant powers to otherwise human individuals."
"So the boy is a neo-U-Man?" Jean came to an unneeded conclusion in order to interrupt Hank's scientific rant for a bit. A much-needed break, indeed.
"No, not really. Morten had some health problems when he was fourteen. He needed a kidney transplant in order to survive, and eventually he got one. But it turned out that the donor was a dormant mutant teenager who had recently died in a car crash. The specific kidney was a much needed part for the usage of that teenager's powers, apparently."
"The Attack Of The Mutant Kidney!" Logan remarked.
"So, your kidney gave you mutant powers! I take it that you have acid urine or something?" Jean asked, turning her attention to the Icelandic teen.
Seeing the kid's offended look, Hank took the initiative to speak again:
"His bladder would melt if he had such a thing."
"Now that's a pleasant thing to compensate." Logan murmured. Hank just kept going though:
"His powers have nothing to do with the actual use of a kidney. It just seemed that part of the mutant abilities controls were locked in that specific body part. Morten here can turn invisible and intangible. But apparently the donor's other kidney was also important to the cause; Morten only has one mutant kidney, so he can't turn other things and people invisible or intangible, including his own cloths."
"Oooh, I gotta be around when you use your powers!" Jean teased the teenager beside her, who in turn started blushing. Nobody could tell if he took the comment as an insult or a compliment.
"Oh, Emma and I designed a special pair of boxer shorts, able to blend in when he turns invisible and not fall off when he goes intangible." Hank flashed a proud smile like every time he boasts about a creation of his.
"Heeey, do they come in plain black color or they got Tweeties and pink bunnies on them?" was another one of Logan's many snide remarks. However Jean's sudden silence made them all turn to face her with concern.
"Emma is still around, isn't she?" a very faint voice came from where she stood.
"Jeannie..."
"Stop. Let's get to my husband now. I have to talk to him first. Morten?"
The boy was shocked from the sudden heaviness in the mood around him, but soon came back to the present;
"Yes! Of course...Follow me, Jean." Why was that woman seeing everyone else before her own husband and where was she supposed to be before, anyway?
And why was he giving her a tour since she already knew everybody in here?
Jubilee would soon have hell to pay, he thought to himself as he led Jean to Mr. Summers' office, and everyone else followed as well.
Scott Summers was peacefully sitting on his office, doing all the stuff a leader and headmaster of the best mutant school in the world should do.
Playing Solitaire on his Shi'Ar technology laptop.
When suddenly the door burst open and a bunch of people walked in without even saying anything, startling Scott into shutting his laptop (wanting to hide any proofs of him slacking off).
"I knew it!" Morten said out loud when he saw Scott's startled reaction. "He was cruising the web looking at porn!"
"What the Hell are you doing in here, people? Can't you even knock? Do you even have an appointment?" Scott yelled in return as he turned to face the bunch of people who were very soon going to be given a very serious lecture about privacy and basic rules of politeness and manners and....
Jean.
Jean was there, standing among Wolverine, Beast, and that good-for-nothing Icelandic slacker. All the men looked like they preferred to be somewhere else at the time, except for the ominously oblivious teenager.
"I'm sorry I didn't arrange an appointment with my own husband, but what can I do? I was trapped inside a cosmic egg for a certain amount of time". She looked the same, pretty as ever, even in that familiar posture of hers with her hands resting on her waist menacingly.
But suddenly her serious posture broke into the figure of a giggling girl that was happy to be reunited with her family and beloved. She ran right into his arms, crushing him with her body and feelings at the same time.
"I'm so glad to finally see you again...I was wandering around the mansion for quite some time now, but I had too look at you to realize how much I missed you." she sniffled into his shoulder, as his hands reached around and rubbed her upper back. Scott stayed into that embrace despite his current controversial feelings, wanting to enjoy it for as long as possible...He knew what was coming next and he wanted to hang on that last embrace, burn it into his mind.
"Ohh, this looks like a perfect chance for a group hug! Guys?" Morten whispered as he started walking over to the Summers' to join the hug. However, a very uncomfortable-looking Wolverine placed his big arm on his shoulder and stopped him.
"Kid, believe me, you don't wanna get into this..." he whispered as he looked bewildered at Jean and Scott hugging before them. Morten only had to look into his eyes to realize that something more complicated was going on, and once he did he stayed in his previous position like some obedient lapdog.
"Jean..."
"Oh, Scott, why did I have to stay dead for so long this time? Why are you the headmaster and where's Xavier? Why is this place rebuilt? Why are some of our friends missing and why is a nineteen-year-old newcomer giving tours to a mansion
he barely knows?"
"Jean..."
"Yeah, I know my name is Jean, thank you very much. Now what about some answers, Mr. Summers?" she said with the smirk. The last smirk she would ever have at Cyclops.
The door to the office abruptly opened and in walked a very oblivious Emma Frost with an equally oblivious three-year old boy on her arms. She snobbily ignored the three guys' presence in the room and proceeded to Scott as she gently but hastily shook up the child on her lap, trying to make him sleep.
"Honey, could I have Jubilee or Rogue baby-sit after little Tommy for the next few hours? There's this new jewelry shop opening and there's also this little gala going on..."
She stood for a minute, contemplating the new, female presence in the room, realizing it was Jean Grey.
"Oh, great, this is Murphy's Law at its' worst!" Hank mumbled.
"Oh...and once you're done with your resurrected ex-wife, make sure to get rid of her grave at the backyard, because the spot is perfect for an extra parking lot, okay?" Emma continued with impressive coldness and casualness.
Jean stared at Emma with disbelief, then checked out the toddler on her arms, noticing the shiny ring on Emma's finger. Then she looked at Scott, but not in the face. She instead looked at his hands with teary eyes, seeing the wedding ring he used to wear replaced with another one, similar to Emma's.
"I guess I will have to find a babysitter by my own", Emma commented. "See you tonight Scottie dear." she added, while she hastily exited the office, leaving all the hard part to Scott to handle. What kind of team leader and headmaster was he anyway, if he couldn't take care of less important difficulties like this one?
As Jean and Scott were left alone in the office again (well, except for the presence of the other guys who really didn't want to interfere anyway), the Phoenix was able to talk again:
"I won't be a whiny bitch. I won't cry, and I certainly won't curse you for being so impatient. I went through too many things in my life to simply reduce myself to a simple "woman scorn". I won't even interrupt you...as long as you explain yourself first."
"Jean...oh, Jean, I'm so sorry...but...."
"But what?" Morten spoke up right before Logan pinched his shoulder and reminded him to shut up.
Scott looked at the teenager for the first time without negative things on his thoughts. Then he looked back at Jean, his ex-wife.
"...but, I guess there's only one way to say it. With a song."
Silence encompassed the room, and then a soft ballad music started filling the air, with the triplet of the people not-necessary-in-this-conversation (that being Logan, Hank and Morten) suddenly doing back-vocals for Scott, as they began with a long and soft moan while slowly swinging their bodies left and right in unison...
"Ahhhh -
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...................."
When suddenly Scott burst into soft singing, as he climbed up on his desk and held his arms wide open like some opera singer:
"There was a time when we'd been a pair
We did everything together so fair
And then one fine day you chose to die on me
That never stopped you from returning again
And we thought that everything would be well
But you died once more, and again, and again
And it's about time that I know--"
"--How deep is your grave!--" the mutant gospel chorus sang behind him, letting him resume to the chorus:
"--How deep is your grave- How deep is your grave?
I really need to learn
cause you always keep coming back
You never stop
Thus my life cannot go on
It is time that we move on
I believe that you
Should get your own life from now on
I'm a married man now and I got a kid
We can't be together anymore
And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do
And it's me you need to show--"
"--How deep is your grave!!--"
"--How deep is your grave- How deep is your grave?
I really need to learn
cause you always keep coming back
You never stop
Thus my life cannot go on
It is time that we move on"
As the music kept flowing, they all together started murmuring:
"Narararara,
Nararara Narara rara,
Narararararararara Narara rara rara...."
"--And you come to me like nothing's changed
But the truth is that you act a bit deranged
And it's time that you just go..."
"--How deep is your grave!--"
"--How deep is your grave- How deep is your grave?
I really need to learn
cause you always keep coming back
You never stop
Thus my life cannot go on
It is time that we move on..."
As the song came to an ending, Jean didn't need to stay there for further "explanations"... She just swallowed her pride and walked to the exit, as Scott avoided looking at her, averting his eyes from her presence and concentrating on the opposite wall.
Hank looked at Logan with stern eyes, as he searched for something in his pockets.
"Go after her, Logan".
"What? Why should I go after her? I'm not the one who hurt her! I'm not going to romantically advance on her while she's still in pain..!"
"What are you talking about? What romantic advancements? Who said anything about that? I just thought you'd be the best person to give her that..." he said, as he handed him a small card he finally fished out of his pocket. you're the one with the healing factor in case she feels like 'shooting the messenger'..."
Logan looked at the small business card and his eyes were enlightened with realization.
"Of course!" he mouthed as he started running after Jean.
When he got to her, he just silently handed the card to her, making sure he would hold on her soft palm for a while to ensure her she still had friends at the mansion who never forgot about her...
"Thank you", she said without bothering to look at the card. She just shoved it in her pockets instead. Logan's warm gesture was so much more important at that difficult time. "So, how long... how long are they married? Is it three years?"
"You don't wanna know, Jeannie."
"You don't have to protect me from hurting any more. There's a limit to the amount of pain that can be inflicted on me, and we have already surpassed it. How long did he mourn me before marrying Emma?"
"A year or so. I'm sorry Jeannie."
"It's okay. Thank you for being truthful to me, Logan. I appreciate that."
She started to go, but something made her turn around again.
"Do you think he is happy with Emma? Has he really moved on?"
"Pretty much. He certainly looked to have moved on... 'till today, that is."
She fell on his arms and gave him a tight, thankful hug. Then she left without saying anything.
But that doesn't mean she was calm inside.
A few minutes later, as she waited for the taxi she had telepathically summoned, Jean began searching into her pockets for something to scoop her tear-stained cheeks with. She couldn't reach anything though, because even now her hands were clenching into fists in her pockets. Fiery rage was burning into her eyes, as many malevolent thoughts flooded her brain.
"He couldn't even wait for a few days after my death, but preferred to hook up with that white-leathered whore right above my freshly-dug grave! He married her right when he would be supposed to start getting over me! I came back from the dead and he brushed me off like a disposable contact lens! Couldn't even let me stay there with my other friends, he practically threw me on the streets! I oughta...I ought to go back there and fry his ass with some Dark Phoenix sparkles!!"
Her hand found a handkerchief in the pocket, but as soon as she brought it out, it pulverized into ashes within her flamed-on fingers.
"Shoot! You have to calm down Jean...how can you send the Dark Phenoix after your ex if you can't even control it to handle a piece of cloth?..."
Finally, she fished out the card that Logan had given her. She had a look at the card in order to focus her mind on something else than the major dose of surprise and disappointment she had just tasted.
What she saw written on the card was equally surprising for her:
"ROBERT L. DRAKE
Attorney Extraordinaire
11th Street 614, (right beneath the Shady Shadow nightclub)
New York"
Her mouth and still tear-stained cheeks formed a diabolical smile as the card's inscription sank into her mind...
"Why use cosmic forces to get back at the people that screwed you when there are so many worse things to do to them...such as sending your lawyer after them?"
A kinda hysterical laugh filled the air above the Institute, provoking babies at a range of three miles to cry their hearts out.
TO BE CONTINUED.....
Coming on Part 2:
"The All-Singing, All- Dancing Lawyer Of The Phoenix!"
With songs such as: "Coldfinger", "Mutant Dirtbag", "Bitching Queen", and our mega-hit "Wo-Wo-Wolverine!"
The more feedback I get, the sooner I'll get myself to post the second part!! You guys just provide the motivation, okay? :-)
Oh, and please tell me which song you liked better!
