Anime Saturday Night Live
Soul Eater Edition
(A/N Hey everyone I just want to point this out i made this fanfics at Halloween, also if anyone would like to see another anime character host Saturday Night Live just write a review with the character's name and the anime they come from)
(Opening Skit)
Recap: It was a sunny day in Death City; it has been 5 years since the kishin has been sealed away by both Meisters and Witches. Kid has took his place as the new Shinigami at the DWCA with Liz and Patti as his assitants. Soul has become a death scythe and now is in a relationship with Maka. Black Star and Tsubaki has become a master assassin duo and confessed his love to Tsubaki who kissed him right there and then beginning their relationship. And finally Crona is living a happy life with his friends even Ragnarok.
Kid: So what is on today's agenda Liz
Liz: We have some guys form New York here to visit all of us Soul Maka, the whole team
Patti: Oh New York Liz, our hometown, and oh man all those guys we mugged bring back memories
Kid: Okay, assemble the team
*Soul, Maka, Black Star, Tsubaki, Crona, Stein, Blair and Spirit enter the death room*
Soul: why are we here Kid, if it's about Morgan Freeman's freckles again, we can't do anything about it.
Black Star: I don't think I have enough tranq-darts for that again
Kid: no, apparently some people from New York would like to see us
*Bobby Moynihan, Jay Pharoah and Vanessa Bayer enter the death room*
Jay: HI, my names Jay this is Bobby and Vanessa but you may know us as the current cast of Saturday Night Live
Black Star: Oh, I love that show, although the pink haired guy and blonde busty chick who hosted last time sounded a lot like Kid and Patti weirdly
Tsubaki: I kinda had the same thought about that episode
Maka: So what are you here for?
Vanessa: we would like you guys to host SNL this week
Soul: that would be awesome, although I guess we can't make any flat chest jokes about Maka are out the window cause puberty gave her a rockin bod *Soul flinches expecting a Maka Chop but nothing happens* hey why didn't you hit me
Maka: meh, I'm just happy that I won't be on the receiving end of those jokes, plus it is true that my bod is indeed rockin' *Winks at Soul*
Spirit: *Crying* why did my Daughter have to fall in love with that asshole
Stein: Here use this *hands Spirit and cloths where he blows his nose, then falls unconscious*
Blair: Cloroform
Stein: yep
Patti: *Looks at Bobby* Hey do I know you from somewhere
Bobby: No, I don't-wait, YOU BITCHES ROBBED ME LIKE OVER 6 YEARS AGO
Liz: Oh yeah, thought you looked familiar
Kid: what did you do?
Patti: Nothing big, just mugged this guy during our bad girl days
Bobby: these girls, mugged me one day when I was in Brooklyn, the tall one turned into a gun, the small on threatened to shoot if I didn't hand over my wallet and I did. However, she then proceeded to shoot me in my kneecap, and then pistol-whip me with me with her own sister for 10 whole minutes.
Liz: Oh yeah, I thinkI gave her too much sugar that day
Patti: that was a fun day
Crona: Damn, girl
Kid: okay, now that's out of the way
Everyone: LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT
Narrator: Live from New York, It's Saturday Night Live Starring-Vanessa Bayer, Aidy Bryant, Colin Jost, Taran Killam, Kate McKinnon, Bobby Moynihan, Jay Pharoah, Cecily Strong, Kenan Thompson, Beck Bennett, Pete Davidson, Leslie Jones, Kyle Mooney, Sasheer Zamata, Michael Che, John Rudnitsky and Our host Soul "Eater" Evans
(Monologue Soul Eater)
^Saturday night live fanfare^
Ladies and Gentlemen-Soul "Eater" Evans
Soul: Thank you everyone, it's wonderful to be here tonight here in lovely New York City
Black Star: Wait, Soul I should be one hosting, because well obviously I'm the star of the show
Soul: the anime is called 'Soul Eater' so I should be the one hosting
Kid: I am the Shinigami, I should be hosting
*The three start a fist fight*
Maka: Idiots, well guess I better host
Liz: Hey why do you get to host we actually lived here
Patti: yeah
Tsubaki: hey I've been patient all my life; I am doing this for me for once
*The girls start to fight*
Stein: well that escalated quickly
*Crona moves to center stage*
Crona: everybody enjoy yourselves, we got a wonderful show for you, we got Mystery Skulls playing
*Ragnarok pops out*
Ragnarok: all right let's partay
(Skit 1:)
Narrator: And now back to Girl That is FAB-U-LOUS
Kid: Hello, my name is Kid Fabulous and these are my assistant Laura and Polly who will be judging our
Contestants' designs with me.
Patti: Okay, lets see what these losers have to show us
Liz: Polly, the lawyers said you can't call the contestants losers anymore
Patti: Oh, lighten up Sis the fashion industry chew people up and crap them out on a regular basis
Kid: That is true, okay now to our first contestant Valerie
*Kate enters the room with a green dress with a spiral like design*
Kate: Oh high, I'm Valerie, I have a degree in fashion design and I thought being on this show will be my next big break
Patti: blah,blah,blah, so is this your dress? Cause it sucks
Liz: yeah, I'm not digging the green and spiral design
Kid: I have to agree totally, it is incredibly asymmetrical, so Valerie you're out
Kate: well that's 4 years of fashion school I'm not getting back
Kid: Okay our next contestant is Nathan
*Pete enters the room with a blue suit with small white zigzags*
Pete: Hi my name is Nathan and I worked on this suit for 6 months
Kid: It's symmetrical you got my vote
Liz: I like it but I would like to see what the other contestants have to offer
Patti: Needs more fire *pulls out flamethrower*
Liz: NO IT DOESN'T *Liz swipes the flamethrower from Patti*
Kid: Okay let's move onto the next contestant before Polly burns our office down, okay here's Austin
*Kenan enters the room with a purple and magenta suit, along with a cape and a turban with a feather and jewel in the center of the turban*
Kenan: I call this piece Impresario, I mainly got my inspiration from superhero comic books
Patti: I like it
Kid: that feather is a bit lopsided, since it isn't symmetrical I have to-*Liz grabs his face*
Liz: I actually find asymmetrical things sexy
Kid: Austin WINS
Kenan: All right, I guess, man fashionestas be crazy
(Skit 2:)
Tsubaki: Okay Blade, you know what to do, Kill the President of this god forsaken third world country and overthrow this corrupt government
Black Star: Okay Sheath, let's do this
Tsubaki: Okay, so I plan that we-
*Black Star pulls out a detonator pushes the button, BOOM a huge explosion is heard in the distance*
Tsubaki: What the hell was that?
Black Star: I blew up the presidential palace, mission accomplished
Tsubaki: no not mission accomplished, how did you do this?
Black Star: Well, while you were sleeping this morning, I went over to the presidential palace, asked one of the servants getting into work that I will give him $500 if I could borrow his uniform and not go into work today, I pose as him going into work and placed some C4 in some key hidden areas. Then BOOM
Tsubaki: So that's why I couldn't find you till lunch
Black Star: yeah I was planting explosives, surprise
Tsubaki: I will not disagree that it got the job done, I am just wonder that how did you get a job as an assassin
Black Star: what I killed the guy didn't I
Tsubaki: yeah but an assassin is suppose to be stealthy killers not Michael bay wannabees
*Taran shows up in a police uniform*
Taran: freeze you are under arrest for killing our president
*Tsubaki throws a knife into Taran's chest* (A/N non of the SNL cast were harmed in the making of this fanfic)
Black Star: OH MY GOD SHEATH WHAT DID YOU DO?
Tsubaki: what I killed him
Black Star: yeah with a knife with your fingerprints on it, how could you be so careless?
Tsubaki: are you serious
Black Star: yeah I'm serious we could go to jail
Tsubaki: let's just go before the cops find us.
(Skit 3:)
Beck: well look what we have here if it ain't creepy Cal
Crona: Please, Corey, Keith can we not I really just want to get to class, and I had a bad weekend had to be part of a demon summoning, it failed
Bobby: Not gonna happen creeps aren't allowed to learn
Beck: Shut up Keith, pffft demons what a moron
Bobby: yes sir
Beck: anyway you need your books to do that *knocks book to the floor*
*Crona crouches to pick up the books, but Ragnarok comes out of his back and grabs Beck and Bobby by their necks*
Ragnarok: I do not like that you, punks are messing with my host, it is basically the same as messing with me
*Ragnarok, lets them go and withdraws into Crona as Crona turns around*
Crona: hey what happened to you guys?
Beck: what you didn't see the demon come out of your back
Crona: what, dude I'm pretty sure I would know if a demon came out of my back
*Kenan enters the scene dressed as a principal*
Beck: Principal Kane, thank god you're here, Cal here is possessed by a demon you have to expel him, better yet call the Church
Crona: dude, seriously
Kenan: Are you on drugs Corey
Bobby: no a demon came out of him and wanted to kill us
Kenan: okay, after hearing that you two are picking on poor defenseless Cal, and are clearly on drug I've decided to give you two weeks suspension.
Beck: What no, sir it really happ-
Kenan: Good day
*As he exits Patti enter the scene*
Patti: Hey Cal
Crona: hey Lacy
Patti: can I talk to you *they go around a corner*
Bobby: wait Lac *Ragnarok covers their mouths and forces them against the wall
Ragnarok: not now my host is trying to score
Patti: I was wondering if you would like to go out Friday night
Crona: uh sure, so 8
Patti: sure
*Ragnarok let's go and retracts into Crona*
Beck: Lacy you have to-
Bobby: Oh shut up Corey
Crona: Haven't you guys got suspended?
Patti: yeah, beat it, so see ya later
*Beck,Bobby and Patti leave, Ragnarok emerges*
Ragnarok: Damn that girl is hotter than hell
Crona: hell yeah she is
(Skit 4: Stein, Why monsters make horrible boyfriends)
Stein: okay, apparently some of the people here are still into twilight, warm bodies and all those movies that
make monsters seem like the best boyfriends, I am here to break these delusions into a thousand pieces and bring you right back into reality.
Sasheer: but, aren't we allowed to have our own fandom preferences
Stein: normally yes, but after a few incidents the shinigami decided to establish these classes, and I got put in charge, me just because I am considered scary as hell and try to drill the lesson in through fear.
Cecily: well you do have a bolt in your head, so that is not hard
*Stein draws a werewolf on the blackboard*
Stein: Okay first is werewolfs, may think they are sweethearts that turn into cute puppy like werewolves, but they will male you, kill you and eat your face I know from personal experience
Free: Oh I did that one time dude, ONE TIME
Sasheer: You ate somebody's face; they did not mention that in twilight
Free: oh god, don't compare me to those freaks
*Stein then erased the werewolf and replaced it with a zombie*
Stein: next are zombies, these guys are self explanatory, if you don't shoot them in the face they will eat your brains
Sid: well somebody just lost his carpool home tonight, and I tried monkey brain soup once and puked after the first bite.
Cecily: ewwwww
*Stein erased the zombie and put up a vampire*
Stein: finally vampires, one they do not sparkle in the sunlight, they catch on fire, second they will drain all of your blood either killing you or making you part of their vampire army
Kyle: what about Blade is there something wrong about Blade?
Stein: Nah Blade is okay, he's half vampire, half hunter, all around badass, if fact just because of that question, you're free to go
Kyle: oh sweet
*Kyle exits the classroom*
Stein: Okay, now for the second part of the class and that will be the frontal lobe lobotomies so *pulls out scalpel* let's get started shall we.
Soul: everyone, Mystery Skulls
Musical guest Mystery Skulls watch?v=YlEb3L1PIco
(Skit 5:)
Kenan: it is so good to have all you guys over
Aidy: it is lovely that you invited us Lewis
Jay: yes like Becky said, we're happy to be here
Vanessa: Thanks Arthur, hey I also invited another couple Lewis and me went to school with, they have a bit of quirks but they are a lovely couple
*Soul and Maka enter the room*
Soul: Hi my name is Sol and this is my lovely wife Molly
Maka: *angry*I can speak for my self, Sol
Soul: *angry*I was just introducing us to Trent and Vivi's friends
Kenan: hey, hey, hey we're here to have a fun time no need to fight
Maka: yeah you're right sorry, and soory babe I realise you were just being polite
Soul: it's okay kisses *kisses Maka*
Vanessa: so how did you to meet?
Soul: well classic story, I was a skater dude she was a nerd
Maka: excuse me, If I remembered I had to tutor you, so don't call me a nerd
Soul: hey I was just retelling a story
Jay: *whisper* this is uncomfortable
Aidy: *whisper* how do you think I feel
Kenan: Hey guys, no need for tempers, let's just have some of Vivi's cheese platter *pulls out cheese platter*
Aidy: oh yeah I'm hungry
Soul: It will be good to get some food in me
Maka: what I don't feed you?
Soul: Hey I don't complain about your food, but I'm complaining about your attitude
Jay: this is going to be our whole night isn't it
Maka: well how about I get in the kitchen and I'll cook up a meal that'll land you right on you're ass
Soul: fine *they storm off to the kitchen*
Vanessa: Molly that isn't necessary, we're going to order take out *the door slams*
Aidy: I think we should go in there, we don't want them killing themselves in there
Jay: Hell no, my momma said never get involved with crazy people
Kenan: I'll go and check up on them *peeks in the kitchen, then turns to the others* ahhh, they're boning in the kitchen
Vanessa: oh god not on the table
Kenan: especially the table
Jay: oh I got to see this *gets up but Aidy pulls him down
Aidy: no your not, so now what
Kenan: let's just grab some pizza then come back hear, hopefully they will be yelling at each other again
(Skit 6: Classroom setting)
Spirit: Alright, class this is, how to be a better dad, I am your teacher Professor Sanchez
Kenan: Wait so this isn't how repair air conditioning, oops wrong class
Spirit: Down the hall to the right *Kenan leaves the class* Okay now let's get started, the first lesson is to
always try to make your kids laugh every day
Colin: How do you suggest we do that?
Spirit: easy use kid friendly jokes and tickle them
Blair: oh I've haven't had a good tickling in a while
Spirit: *sweating* lesson number two take plenty of pictures of their happy faces
*Spirit pulls a projector out under a table, click a photo of a young Maka is shown*
Spirit: this is my darling little Maka when she was little
Michael: aw, your daughter is adorable
Spirit: just for that you get extra credit
*Click, picture of Spirit and Little Maka at the beach, Spirit is staring at a chick in a bikini*
Spirit: This photo was taken by my lovely wife of our family day at the beach
John: Are you checking out that chicks butt?
Spirit: what? Where in the photo am I checking out that chick's tight, firm butt
Colin: you're eyes are directly looking at the girls butt
Blair: you can check out my butt any time
Spirit: you know what I'm going to the next photo
*Spirit switches to another photo of him kissing another woman*
Michael: seriously, we're taking fatherly advice from you
John: yeah, you don't really seem like the parenting type
Spirit: hey in my defense, this is a course on how to be a better father, not on how to be a better husband. All cards on the table, I'm divorced but Maka understands and still loves me.
*Maka enters the room*
Maka: hey Dad you need a ride ho *sees picture of him kissing another woman*
Maka: *smacks Spirit* THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE BEEN TEACHING THIS ENTIRE TIME, YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A FATHER. *storms out of the room*
Blair: awkward
*Spirit crawls on the table in a fetal position*
Spirit: *crying* where did I go wrong
*Everyone is uncomfortable with Spirit's crying and leaves*
(Skit 7: Ballroom setting)
Vanessa: This is an exquisite gathering wouldn't you say Mr. Bolder
Michael: Indeed it is Mrs: Hershell
Bobby: I believe that you hired some musical entertainment
Aidy: Yes, who are they exactly
Vanessa: indeed, I my assistant hired this band with this talented piano player
Jay: well I believe this shall be a most enjoyable evening
*Soul enters and sits down at the piano*
Soul: I am thankful you asked me to play for you tonight, now, LET'S ROCK
*Soul starts to play the Opening of Resonance on the piano*
*Black Star enters with a bass guitar, Maka on Lead Guitar, Tsubaki on drums, Kid on Vocals*
Vanessa: oh my word
Aidy: How Ghastly
Jay: well I never
*Michael and Bobby are dancing to the beat*
Vanessa: OKAY, STOP STOP
*The band stops playing*
Michael and Bobby: Oh come on
Vanessa: We were promised a classical band
Soul: hey lady we were given this gig by a lady whose boss has a huge stick up their ass,
Maka: and I'm starting to guess who that person is
Vanessa: this won't certainly do
Michael: ah come on Betty lease don't be the girl with the stick up her ass
Bobby: yeah they rocked
Vanessa: No, there is no way I'm going to allow this absurdity continue
Kid: we don't do refunds you know
Vanessa: *sigh* fine go on ahead
*The guys restart playing resonance*
Soul: well that's our show everybody, we've had a wonderful time and hope everyone has a Happy Halloween
*the Doors explodes and Medusa takes the stage*
Kid: Medusa, why is she here
Medusa: isn't it obvious, to kill you of course
Bobby: don't worry guys I got this *pulls out a piece of paper*
Medusa: oh please like an actor can take on a witch
Bobby: oh yeah, well here's a curse for ya *unfolds paper light comes of it and Medusa screams as she is turned to stone, Bobby then folds the paper and the light stops*
Maka: What the hell was that *Black Star tries to sneak a peek of the picture*
Bobby: It's a picture of Rosie O'Donnells colonoscopy *Black Star backs away*
Tsubaki: why do you have that?
Black Star: yeah that could have killed me and I surpass god
Bobby: thought I might need it one day
*Crona pushes the Medusa statue; she falls over and shatters into pieces*
Crona: *smiling* ooops, goodnight everybody
