Wake
Disclaimer: Still not mine.
Watched Bury Your Dead again yesterday and then woke up at 3am needing to write this story. I know no one liked the Frog storyline and this has probably been done before, but I had to get the plot maggot out of my brain. I may continue this if I have time.
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Tony simply slid down off the couch to sit on the floor, staring into space; numb, body and mind. Jeanne's note was still in his hand. He didn't know how long he'd been there; and he didn't care. Nothing mattered next to the empty hole where Jeanne had been.
"I never thought I'd see the day," said a woman's voice, slightly echoing, but full of compassion. "Tony DiNozzo, having his heart broken by a girl."
"Technically speaking, you didn't see the day, Kate," he said softly, looking up to see the ethereal beauty of Special Agent Caitlin Todd smiling back at him, in cream pants and her favourite green top. "Missed it by two years."
"Thanks for the flowers," she said, moving gracefully through the coffee table to sit beside him, shoulder to shoulder. "You remembered my favourite florist."
"You're not gonna elbow me for going through your purse this time, are you?"
"Even if I could, I wouldn't," she replied warmly. "It's nice to be thought about, even after all this time."
"Every single day, Kate," he said sincere and sorrowful. "Every day." There was a long, comfortable pause.
"You loved Jeanne," she stated, eventually. "Didn't you."
"Unbelievable, isn't it." His voice had become mocking. "Tony 'Sex Machine' DiNozzo, actually falling in love."
"You've changed a lot in the past two years, Tony. Gibbs leaving, being team leader, all those undercover ops; and Jeanne."
"You changed me too, Kate," Tony told her seriously. "I still have the nightmares; have to go wash your blood off my face when I wake up."
"I know. I keep an eye on the team."
"You meet the ghost of Gibbs' moustache up there?" He joked weakly.
"Hate to break it to you, Tony, but facial hair does not go to heaven." Her voice sobered. "Paula… says hi, though."
"She doing OK?" He asked warily.
"Fine. I finally got to tell her about the iguana."
A ghost of a smile crossed his drawn features. "I'm never ever gonna live that one down with you, am I."
"Not a chance," she replied smugly.
"You… meet my mother up there?" He asked, hesitantly.
"They're really strict about that rule," she replied, apologetically.
Tony smiled bitterly. "Good old fashioned Catholic values; suicide worse than murder. Who came up with that one, anyway?"
"Not my fault if you forgot your Sunday school, DiNozzo. And… I'm sorry, that I teased you about her. If I'd known how young you were…"
"Don't worry about it, Kate. Weird; I never thought I'd miss you teasing me."
"Never thought I'd miss you going through my stuff." There was another pause, as both reflected on the time they'd spent apart.
"You're the smart one, Kate," Tony began. "Why does every woman I care about end up leaving me?"
"Abby hasn't."
"It's only a matter of time. And anyway, Abby's practically my sister. You… weren't."
"We would never have worked out as a couple, Tony. If we hadn't killed one another, Gibbs would've done it for us."
"True. Rule twelve and all that. Maybe if I'd known time was running out, I might have risked the wrath of Gibbs."
"No one knows exactly what's coming, Tony; and anyway, it's too late now."
"Yeah, I know. Too late for you, too late for Paula… too late for Jeanne. Just once, I'd like to be on time."
"You fell for her because she came along when you were feeling vulnerable, Tony."
"Jeanne was the only one who didn't want me to be Gibbs, Kate. She wasn't always watching, waiting for me to screw up."
"You didn't screw up."
"Yeah? Then how come you're the one who's transparent, here?"
"Me dying was not your fault, Tony."
"It should never have happened like that; I'm senior agent, I should have been able to protect you."
"You really are as bad as Gibbs; you're both so unbelievably arrogant! You both blame yourselves for everything; like there was anything you could have done about a sniper you couldn't even see."
"Well, you can't say this royal screw up wasn't my fault, Kate. I should never have taken the assignment. I was snowed under just stepping up to team lead."
"But you still did, because it meant you didn't have time to think about Gibbs."
"Like I said; everyone leaves me."
"Gibbs came back."
"Not the same. It's the leaving that counts."
"Please, tell me that's not one of your movie references," she begged.
"Jeanne loves movies," said Tony softly. "We used to have marathon movie nights with more hot buttered popcorn than you can shake a stick at until we fell asleep on this couch, all sticky."
"Sounds like the perfect DiNozzo night in with clothes on."
"Well, the nights without were pretty damn memorable too, but I didn't want to rub it in that you can't hit me any more."
"Thanks for holding back. You really are more sensitive than you used to be."
"I was always sensitive, Kate. You just never noticed before."
"Because you never talk about your feelings. It's not healthy."
"Hey, if it was up to you, I'd be eating those tofu veggie things for lunch every day; and it hardly made a difference to your health, did it."
He sighed. "I'm sorry, Kate. I didn't mean that."
"I know. You're just lashing out because you're hurting."
"I know Jeanne loved DiNardo, not me. And I know I'm just being stupid, wishing things could've been different. But it was nice, not having to be me for a while. Knowing that someone actually cared."
"They do care, Tony. You should've seen their faces when they watched your car explode in MTAC."
"They care if I live or die, Kate. But they don't care how miserable they made me after Gibbs left. They don't care that I'm sitting here now, talking to the ghost of my dead partner because no one who's alive gives a damn."
"They're just giving you some space, Tony; you've been through hell today. You should take some time off, go on vacation."
"Can't. CIA are crawling all over the agency, Gibbs is pissed as hell I didn't tell him about the op, the others are all barely over thinking I was dead, I'll have a mountain of paperwork on my desk by now… and anyway, it's probably best I keep busy."
"Screw them; you need a break, Tony. You've been working your ass off for months."
"If you classify Jeanne as work, yeah; but it wasn't exactly hard to spend time with her. I'm… going to miss that. Just hanging out, not needing to prove myself to her every minute of every day."
"Are you going to go looking for her?"
"Well, I can't just leave it like this, can I. I broke her heart twice in one day; and at least I need to try and explain what happened."
"And if she doesn't want to know?"
"She'll probably stick a scalpel in me. And not in the shoulder; she's a doctor; she knows where to stab."
"D'you know where she'll be?"
"Where all women go who've been messed about by their boyfriends. Her mother's. Boy, that is going to be a scary encounter; she's as worse than Gibbs."
"I hope you wear a cup."
"Good idea. Thanks, Kate. I… really needed someone to talk to."
"I know. I'm always here if you need me; I won't leave again." She wrapped her faintly glowing arms around him; he felt only slight warmth where her skin met his as she pressed a kiss onto his forehead.
"If you try and feel me up, DiNozzo, I swear I'll figure out a way to shoot you," she warned.
Tony smiled slowly. "Wouldn't have it any other way, Kate."
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Let me know what you thought.
