Hi! Teacups here! i present to you Shinra high school host club...oh yeah i went there! XD

Warnings: Crack, fluff and shounen ai (the usual)

Disclaimer: i own neither Final fantasy (Sephiroth and Cloud didn't get married) nor Ouran, call me crazy i'm partial to Mori X Kyouya

Italics = Cloud thinking or Genesis inner theatre.


Shinra high school host club

Only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time at the elite private academy, Shinra high.

Sighing as he closed the door leading to a magnificent crowded library, filled with chatter, a scruffy looking boy, wearing a nasty navy many sizes to big jumper, and worn slacks, turned and walked dejectedly up a red velvet carpeted staircase with ornate golden railings, towards a giant carved stone crest.

You'd think with four libraries that at least one of them would be quiet….

Turning down an elaborate corridor with marble pillars, framing large bay windows containing pain upon pain of sugar spun glass.

The boy paused as a flock of white collared doves fluttered past the windows, tilting his head slightly crowned with a mass of scruffy Chocobo blond locks that looked as if they had been cut awkwardly at different lengths as it fell in every direction and appeared to be attempting to defy Newton's laws of gravity. His round thick glasses glinted as they reflected the sunshine of the early spring sunshine.

I wonder how you are in heaven dad… I can't believe it's been ten years since then.

Sighing once again, the boy continued along his way, his slightly too long trousers trailing along the marble floors, pausing once again, the boy spotted a seemingly abandoned music room. Hesitating slightly he reached out and with a small hand on an impossibly large handle opened the large cream paneled door with relative ease.

Well at least it should be a quiet place to study…

Alas for the poor studious boy as for when he opened the door he was greeted by a sight that would alter his life, not that he knew that of course.

Closing one eye as a slight draft carried some rose petals from inside the room out into the corridor, opening his eyes behind fogged spectacles, the scruffy looking boy blinked, once then twice, as a group of melodic voices chorused in harmony,

"Welcome"

"Oh wow it's a boy"

The scruffy blond seemingly frozen in place could only gawk at the sight presented to him and splutter half apologies.

Before him were a cluster of the most attractive boys the poor Chocobo headed boy had ever seen in his meager 15 years.

In the center of the cluster a red haired boy was seated, he had pale blue eyes and a welcoming half smirk, to his right a tall boy with long sliver hair, he had acid green eyes that were silted like a cats, but they were concealed by a pair of frameless designer spectacles, that did nothing but enhance his slightly sinister appearance.

To the read haired one's left were three silver haired boys, they had paler silver hair than the tall bespectacled boy, and their eyes were bluer than acid green, instead having a vivid jade center and an azure rim. But there was still a striking family resemblance.

The tallest of the three (though not notably, more like just a hairs breadth taller than the others) was a slender boy with feminine features curved into a wicked grin, long silvered hair hung feathered to his shoulder blades, the second tallest was also the broadest he was much more muscled and had his hair cropped back in a way which made its stick up at the front as though he had gelled it, he had a more dopy grin on his face than the others, the smallest of the three was noticeably the most charismatic, his body language screamed that nothing could faze him, although he was shorter his smirk was more aggressive and he openly winked at the terrified Chocobo imitator, his hair was shoulder length and fell across his face.

To the right of the acid green eyed boy who had a more archaic smile upon his face, which was actually more of an archaic smirk, there were two dark haired boys, the taller and broader of the two stood at a similar height to the cat eyed boy (although he looked bigger, because of his build). He was clean-shaven and had a stoic face, but for a young man he had deep smile lines about his eyes event though his face was expressionless.

The second young man had a large goofy smile on his face, which was boyish and had welcoming violet eyes where his companion (of whom he was cling to in a sort of glomping piggy back even though he couldn't of been that much shorter) he had an X shaped scar on his left cheek and was cuddling rather childishly a stuffed Chocobo toy.

The young men all had features that screamed of good breeding and aristocracy and all were uncommonly handsome.

"T-this is a h-host club? S-sorry I…uh'll go now…"

The spectacled boy's glass glinted ominously before, in a low voice that seemed to purr and was obviously dripping with evil intent and ulterior motives, addressing the scruffy looking boy who was frantically scrabbling at the door in attempt to escape.

Ignoring the terrified commoner, the boy, looking towards the three Cheshire cat like grinning trio, addressed them,

"Loz, Yazoo, Kadaj, I believe this young man is in the same class as you are?"

Answering and shrugging in sync, "Yeah, but he's shy so we don't know much about him…"

Addressing the poor vertically challenged male who was still trying frantically to open the ornate golden handle seemingly forgetting in his panic that the door opened inwards not outwards.

"Well that's not very polite. Welcome to the Shinra high host club, Mr. Honor student."

The red head shot out of his seat, exclaiming loudly, "Wow, you must be Cloud Strife, right? You must be the exceptional honor student we've heard about!"

The blond froze and turned before stuttering, "H-How did you know m-my name?"

The evil looking boy scribbled something into a black folder unnervingly; he smiled a sweet smile that seemed horridly out of place on his face, before replying manor of factually:

"Why you're infamous of course. It's not every day a commoner manages to gain a place at such an elite private school, Mr. Strife. You must have quit the audacious nerve."

The newly dubbed Mr. Strife seemed to flinch, as the words Audacious commoner seemed to hang over his head. Hesitantly he spoke, "W-well thank you I guess?"

The red head wrapped an arm around Clouds shoulders in an overly familiar manner accentuating the height difference, there was about a head and a half between them, before continuing in an overly dramatic manner,

"Why you're welcome of course! You're a hero to other poor people Strife! You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy!"

Cloud seemingly realising that the red head was standing way too far into his personal bubble, attempted to scurry away to one side only to be followed by the red haired megalomaniac who flicked his hair somehow producing golden sparkles, baffling the poor scholarship student.

"It must be hard for you to be constantly be looked down upon by others!"

Scurrying once again out of the reach of the crazy rich person the boy replied in an emotionless deadpan:

"I think your taking this poor thing a bit too far, Sir."

Encroaching once again into the blond's "bubble" the flamboyant red head continued his lamenting speech,

"None the matter! Long live the poor! We welcome you poor man, into our world of beauty!" finishing with a flourish, roses seemed to frame his flamboyant.

The studious boy's response was turning and walking away, murmuring to himself, "I am out of here…" Before being grabbed around the waist and spun into the hard chest of one boyish hosts.

"Hey where do you think you're going Chocobo head! You must be a super hero or something? That's so cool!"

Turning in the strong hold around his waist, to glare at the ecstatic puppy like boy, the captured blond deadpanned,

"I'm not a hero I'm an honor student…. AND WHO ARE CALLING CHOCOBO HEAD?""

Wiggling out of the taller boys hold, upon escaping the boy turned to see the violet eyed boy pouting and looking very much like a kicked puppy, whilst clinging to the stone faced boys legs, all in all looking rather silly, and yet somehow adorable, Cloud kicked himself mentally as soon as the thought arose.

Cloud was soon distracted when the Red head (whom had previously finished his rant) exclaimed loudly but in a flamboyant mock soliloquy.

"Who would have thought it though? Who knew the new transfer student would be so openly gay?"

Cloud turned to look at the red head baffled, but then froze when his "Cloud bubble" was entered once more. Huh, say what?

"So! Tell me what kind of guys are you into! Do you like the strong silent type?-"

The exuberant young man pointed to the stoic boy who was taller and broader than the others, upon hearing his type, the boy looked up and gave Cloud a gaze that was riddled with unreadable emotion most discernibly pride and honor.

"—The boyish type?—"

The man-puppy looked up at him from where he was clinging to the 'strong and silent type' he grinned violet eyes lighting up with unspoken laughter as he waved childishly.

"—How about the mischievous type?-"

The three silver haired devils smirked evil smirks filled with mischievous intent; they suited their type, though the smaller one looked like he wanted to watch him squirm, Cloud shifted uncomfortably under the trio's gaze.

"-Or do you like the cool type?"

The boy with the longest silver hair smirked imperiously at Cloud, his glasses glinting ominously, a frigid aura surrounding him, just daring Cloud to assume that he wasn't "the cool type" for a good reason, Urgh more like the frigid type? Cloud thought despairingly. Before backing away stuttering,

"It's not like that! I w-was just looking for a quiet place to study!"

Cloud squeaked (in a very manly way) when the red head cupped his face in one hand and grazed his thumb along his bottom lip, tilting his head up to blink at the owner of the offensive hand.

"But perhaps maybe, you're into a guy like me?"

Cloud shrieked tearing himself from the grip of the flirtatious boy with no regard for personal space!

Stumbling as he hurled himself backwards the blond boy collided into a ornately carved stand with a painful thump, but barely noticed as he dislodged an expensive looking vase, the boys expressive eyes widened as he reached desperately to grasp the handle in time, and gasping slightly when his fingers just grazed the handle before the vase hit the oak panel flooring and shattered.

"Ugh! Now you've done it commoner the bidding on that vase was supposed to start at 8 million gil!"

The blond froze once more at what the short hair third of the trio exclaimed, murmuring to himself, "8 million gil how many thousands is that, how many thousands are even in a million!"

Sighing resolutely and resting his head on the stand he was still partially slumped over before turning and saying hesitantly, "I am going to have to pay you back…."

The tallest third spoke snidely whilst the shortest spoke with curiosity mingled with mischievous mirth, "With what money you can't even afford to buy the school uniform!"

"What's with that grubby outfit you've got on anyway"

The demon with his pen scratching furiously in his ominous folder of doom, asked mockingly, "Well what are we going to do then, Genesis?"

The newly aforementioned Genesis sat upon the thrown he was previously placed upon before answering in a serious manner that was far from his previous manner; it suited more of a Shakespearian actor than a red haired privet school student.

"Well there's a famous saying you might of heard Commoner Strife: when in Banora, do as the Banoran's do! Starting today you are the host clubs dog!

The last thought Cloud had before slipping into the abyss of unconsciousness was:

I don't know if I can handle this Dad? I've been captured by a bunch of boys who are calling themselves a host club…

OoOoOoO

Later that day the expanse of the third music room was filled with chattering girls drinking tea from antique fine boned china and nibbling delicately on cake, displayed on ornate silver trays.

At the center poised elegantly on the red velvet chairs, was Genesis on either side of him were beautiful girls, and on the other Georgian sofa opposite sat three equally beautiful girls.

In a voice that chimed demurely like the ringing of bells one of the girls asked:

"Genesis, pray tell me what's your favorite song?"

Genesis smirked and answered, "Why the one that reminds me of you of course."

Another asked hesitantly, her voice softer than the other, "I-I baked you a cake today, W-would you like to taste some?"

Genesis smiled handsomely and cupped the side of her face replying, "Only if you'd feed it to me darling."

The girls blushed and murmured excitedly, "Oh Genesis…. Wow you're so dreamy!"

The girl sitting on the other side of Genesis asked in a voice that screamed of arrogance, "May I have a word with you Genesis?"

Turning towards her the "princely type" boy smiled encouragingly at her, as she rested her head in her hand and lent against one of the sofa arms, before continuing,

"I've recently heard that the host clubs keeping a little kitten without a pedigree"

Genesis smiled missing the cruelty of her words before answering, "Well I wouldn't call him that—" The red head looked over his shoulder to see the new dog of the host club approaching him he waved and continued, "—Why hello little piglet! Thanks for doing the shopping for us! Did you get everything on our list?"

The horn-rimmed clad boy sweat dropped thinking, P-piglet? What the? Sighing the boy made his way over, the brown paper bag clutched to his chest hesitantly he passed a bottle of instant coffee to the exuberant "king of the host club."

Confused the said king asked, "Hey wait a minute what is this?"

Cloud looked at him oddly, "It's just what it looks like. Its coffee….."

Genesis with one arm slung behind him, continued, "I have never seen this brand before is it the type that's already ground?"

"… No, it's instant."

The girls looked at home and repeated disbelievingly, "Instant?"

Genesis suddenly sat forward cradling the jar of instant coffee, "WOW! I've heard of this before! Its commoner coffee! You just add hot water!"

By now a group of girls had gathered opposite the 'King', one of them whispered conspiringly to another, "I never knew there was such a thing!" The other replied, "So it's true then poor people don't even have enough time to grind their own coffee beans!" The gaggle of girls nodded in sync.

Somehow whilst Cloud wasn't looking the rest of the host club members had gathered around the back of the sofa.

Sephiroth intoned, "Commoners are pretty smart."

Kadaj read the label and exclaimed "100 grams from 300 gil!" Yazoo grinned and pointed out "That's a lot less that we normally pay!"

Cloud pouted defensively answering, "I'll go back and get something else! Excuse me for not buying you expensive coffee beans!" he ended up muttering the last part.

Genesis raised a hand to signify Cloud to halt, before standing and proclaiming:

"Nahh I'll keep it. I'm going to try it! I shall drink this coffee!" He raised the 'commoners coffee' into the air displaying for all to see.

Cloud sweat dropped when the rest of the club clapped as though Genesis had proclaimed to save the world of something that was imposing imminent distruction.

"Alright Cloud! Get over here and make some of this commoner's coffee!" Genesis ordered happily Cloud sighed and went to follow his orders. Thinking to himself: I hate all these damn rich people!

The girl that had spoken before out down her tea cup and spoke lowly, "Oh Genesis, now you're taking the joke to far! You don't have to drink it just because he bought it! You don't have the stomach to drink that crap."

Cloud looked at her mildly insulted, she then smiled up at him and spoke in a sickly sweet voice, "Sorry, I must have been talking to myself."

Cloud glanced at her from behind his glasses wondering, what's her problem? Genesis called again, and Cloud scurried off send one last glance at the sour princess.

Cloud pored two teaspoon amounts of coffee powder into each ornate teacup, moving along he poured the hot water in, purposefully ignoring the sign that somehow appeared that said "Commoners coffee as demonstrated by a commoner!"

Genesis exclaimed loudly as Cloud offered the tray of steaming cups to the girls, "Let the tasting begin!"

One of the girls murmured, "I'm a little scared to drink this stuff!" another replied, "I'm afraid if I drink this my father will yell at me!"

Genesis cupped the girls face and asked: "What if I let you drink it from my mouth?" the girl stuttered a reply; "T-then I would drink it," Whilst the other girl's screamed their approval with hearts dancing in their eyes.

Cloud thought absentmindedly watching the whole scene: I still don't understand his deal….

As Cloud moved between tables, he spotted the trio, entertaining a couple of girls. Kadaj was laughing and telling a story, "—and he had this nightmare that made him bolt right out of bed!" Loz welled up and exclaimed, "Kadaj! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone that!" Yazoo cooed gently and soothed Loz stroking his hair murmuring, "Don't cry Loz!" Kadaj froze and then wrapped his arms around Loz murmuring, "I'm sorry Loz, I didn't mean it please don't cry!"

Cloud watched as the girl's squeed (a technical term used often when describing the high pitched sound fangirls have been known to make when they consider something "Moé!") a Wutanese technical term meaning "budding" often used to refer to something adorable.(1) Clouds mind inputted the information at the word. I don't really get why they're all so excited, he thought in reference to the 'customers'.

The puppy like boy known as Zackary fair called out rubbing one of his eyes and yawning from where, he was clinging to the tall stoic boy, Angeal Hewley, "Sorry we're running late! I was waiting for Angeal to finish his Kendo class and I kinda fell asleep!" Yawning widely the violet eyes snapped open sleepily, the tall boy murmured in a very low voice, "You are not completely awake." Zack grinned at him from where he was deposited on the sofa, "Well it's not my fault you're getting boring Angeal!" Angeal did not dignify it with a response he merely, locked the whining Zack into a headlock ruffling his hair, Zack cried out indignantly "Not the hair!" whilst the girls cooed at him being adorable.

"I can hardly believe thatis a third year student!" Cloud muttered to himself, but jumped slightly when Sephiroth appeared behind him, Sephiroth was part of the "Akumu" family, which quiet literally translated to "nightmare" Suits him Cloud thought absent mindedly. (2)

Sephiroth spoke in a sort of deadly purr, which reminded Cloud faintly of the big cats around Neibelheim, "Zachary may seem young and childish, but he's a prodigy. Angeal's allure is his strong and silent disposition. "

Cloud looked at the scary man, that black book was starting to creep him out, what does he even write in that thing?

Suddenly there was a loud exclamation of "COCOBO HEAD!" and Cloud was suddenly once again enveloped into the arms of one Zack fair. Laughing delightedly at Clouds wiggling in attempt to escape, the puppy exclaimed, "Hey spiky head! Do you want to go eat some cake with me?"

Head still spinning the dazed boy murmured, "Thanks but I don't really feel like cake at the moment…"

Zack was not deterred! "Well then! Would you like to hold my Chocó?"

The blond boy looked up at him confused, blinking blearily as his glasses slipped to the bottom of his nose revealing the glowing blue eyes. Suddenly a soft toy shaped like a Chocobo with matching big blue eyes, was deposited in his arms as the bouncy boy bounded away calling back, "Cutie, for a cutie!"

Cloud looked down at the yellow stuffed bird looking up at him; glasses still perched in the end of his nose, holding the toy at eye level he murmured to it:

"I guess you are kind of cute, huh?" Not sure what he meant by "cutie for a cutie", though….

Sephiroth smirked scribbling something down in his elegant scrawl before addressing Cloud once more (who was now cuddling the Chocobo to his chest).

"You'll notice that the club utilizes each man's unique characteristic's for each of our quests enjoyment, Just so you know Genesis is number one around here, He's our King, his demand rate is 70%"

Cloud looked up at the "nightmare" as he spoke, before looking out over the host club, murmuring, and "What's this world coming too?"

Sephiroth turned to smirk evilly down at Cloud, "Just so you know, to pay of the 8 million gil debt you owe us you will act as the Shinra host clubs dog until you graduate-" The smirk became a smile "—I'm sorry I meant our errand boy."

Cloud stared up at him flabbergasted, jaw dropping as Sephiroth continued, "You can try to run away if you like. But just so you know my family employs a private task force of over a hundred officers…"

Adjusting his glasses the silver haired demon, asked slyly, "By the way do you have a passport?"

Cloud twitched, at the hidden meaning you won't be able to stay in Midgar…

Genesis seemed to appear from nowhere saying as he blew cold air onto the back of Clouds neck causing him to jump, "You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt, my little nerd…"

"P-please don't do that again….?"

"You need a makeover or no girls going to look twice at you…." Genesis continued ignoring Clouds plea but exclaimed loudly after Clouds reply:

"Yeah, well I'm not really trying to get girls to look at me"

"Are you kidding me? That's the most important thing! You have to be a gentleman and please the ladies…. Like me!"

Genesis mysteriously produced a rose from nowhere and quoted a line from the famous play loveless:

"The most profound mystery is the Gift of the Goddess and in pursuit of this gift we set on a journey and take flight. Hopeless as it may seem we stand and carry onward with the ripples of water that surface on our hearts."(1)

"I don't really see why it matters anyway?-" Cloud glanced up at the flamboyant boy, "—appearances and labels, its what's on the inside that counts anyway? So why should I worry about my appearance?"

"I don't even understand why you even have a host club like this."

Genesis nodded sagely before continuing, "It's a cruel reality isn't it? It's not often that god creates a perfect person like Moi! Beautiful inside and out!" Genesis hugged himself dramatically before plowing on with his speech.

Cloud stared at him with one eyebrow raised, "Say what?"

"I understand your feelings as not everyone is as blessed as I am, but you must console your selves, otherwise how could you go on living?"

Cloud stood back and watched the scene unfolded utterly confused as the boy ranted about beauty:

"Think about this Cloud! Why do you think they put works of art in a museum? Because beauty should be shared with the world! And thus those who are beautiful should—"

Cloud was only half listening, there's a word to describe him but I just can't think of it…

"—This is why I created this club! For those who are starved of beauty!—"

What is it? I can't remember!

"—For those working day and night!—"

Pain in the neck... No it's another word…..

"—And so I have chosen to share my beauty with the world!—"

Aww man I wish I could remember that word!

(The trio who were walking past spotted the scene so with the identical scary smiles they headed towards the thinking commoner.)

"—Think about this Cloud! When placing a glass on a table extend your pinky to create a cushion to muffle the sound, a gentleman should never have a noisy glass!"

There's something that fits him perfectly….

The trio peered around Cloud as the deranged Beauty obsessed man came close as well, suddenly Clouds head shot up and he exclaimed:

"I've got it! Obnoxious!"

The red head defeated immediately and ended up curled up in a corner glooming over Clouds rebuttal.

"Err… I'm sorry Genesis, Sir?"

Cloud addressed the depressed boy, feeling bad for making him upset instantly, the trio laughed in harmony as Kadaj and Yazoo both threw an arm around Clouds shoulders where Loz wrapped his around his waist completely encompassing Clouds small form.

Kadaj chuckled and patted Cloud on the head with his spare arm, saying: "You're a hero aright!"

Cloud grumbled silently, arms tightening around the stuffed Chocobo of Zack's.

He really is a pain in the neck…

"I'm sorry Sir; your speech did spark a small cord with me, albeit a tiny one."

Genesis stood up and turned around beaming before forming an L with his finders and resting his chin in it before exclaiming and extending that hand:

"It did! Well let me teach you more! My friend."

Well he got over that quick…

Yazoo spoke from the trio: "Err… Boss –""Call me King!" "—you can teach him all the basics' of hosting, but he's not going to get very far if he doesn't look the part."

Relinquishing his hold at the same time as the other three he approached Clouds front muttering, "Maybe if we took off his glasses it might help?" He then froze in place staring and Clouds face.

Cloud exclaimed loudly: "Hey I need those! The lights different here in Midgar and it hurts my eyes I had special contacts but I left them in Neibelheim!"

Suddenly Genesis exclaimed "Why you're as pretty as a girl!" before snapping his fingers.

"Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo!" The tree of them saluted and Yazoo and Kadaj grabbed Cloud's wrists pulling him whilst Loz pushed his back in the direction of the changing rooms.

"Sephiroth! My hair stylist!" Sephiroth was already punching in the phone number on his phone.

"Angeal! Go to the eye doctor and get him some contact lenses!"

Angeal took off in that direction, whilst Zack stood up straighter with stars in his eyes, "What about me Genny-pie?" "Puppy!" "Yes Sir!" "You-go eat cake."

Zack sat in the corner pouting with his stuffed Chocobo (which he had appropriated from Cloud as the "Remnant brothers" dragged him off) sitting on one of the chairs opposite him propped up by pillows.

"It's just you and me Chocó, everyone else said they were too busy."

OoOoOoO

In the changing rooms Loz presented a boy's uniform to Cloud (whose arms were still being held by the other two) who exclaimed, "Change into this!"

"What? Why?"

"Don't ask questions just change!"

"Fine I'll change but you three need to get out!" As the three were hurled bodily out of the changing room, they looked at each other before saying simultaneously, "Geeze he's strong for a little guy!"

As the others arrived a little bit later, Cloud drew back the curtain asking hesitantly, "Sephiroth sir? Are you sure it's okay for me to keep this uniform?"

The sight that greeted the infamous host club was draw dropping:

Standing there, shoulders hunched slightly fiddling with the curtain shyly, was a gorgeous young boy. Clouds hair had been trimmed and styled properly and it now framed his face although it still stuck up in nearly every direction, it just was more sedate.

Large cerulean eyes peered up at the host club shining with innocent trust as he asked again, "Are you really sure?" his face now unhidden by his large glasses was petit and cute like a girls should be in the host clubs opinion, he had the sort of aura that screamed "Mother me! I'm venerable and cute looking" he reminded the host club strongly of a baby Chocobo.

"What?" He asked again before yelping, as he was glomped (again another technical term for a jumping and clinging cuddle) by Genesis, who proclaimed loudly that he was the cutest thing the red head loveless enthusiast had ever laid eyes on.

"Chocobo head! You look so cute!" exclaimed Zack loudly, whereas the creepy trio merely said in sync in their strangely harmonic voices, "If we had known that's how you really looked we would have helped you out sooner!"

"Who knows-" Sephiroth practically purred smirking, "Perhaps he might draw in some costumers?"

Genesis exclaimed once again: "That was exactly what I was thinking!"

Rubbish…. Was the thought going through everyone's head.

"Our errand boy is moving up the ranks! Starting today you are an official member of the host club!"

Cloud gawked at him as Genesis pointed a perfectly kept finger at him,

"I will personally train you to become a first class host! If you can get 100 costumers to request your service we will completely forget about your 8 million gil debt!"

Cloud sweat dropped murmuring, "A Host?"

OoOoOoO

"So tell me Cloud do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do?" one girl asked.

"I'm curious what kind of products do you use on your skin?" asked another.

"Yes! It so pretty!" exclaimed the third.

I can't do this! Thought Cloud furiously staring at the three girls smiling at him, I have absolutely no idea what to do!

"So why did you choose to join the host club, Cloud?" they asked in sync.

Calm down Cloud, you just need to get 100 costumers to assign to you and they'll forget about your 8milllion gil debt, I know just the story!

Genesis looked over at cloud only to see the girls and him engrossed in a deep conversation, Cloud was looking down at his hands which were fisted in his trousers, one of the girls spoke:

"I see your father got really sick and passed away ten years ago and now your mother earns the living, but who does the chores if your mothers always working?"

Cloud looked up and smiled before saying, "I do! Muti has always been a bit hopeless with these things and Dad was more of a house-husband than anything! When he got sick he left me loads of recipes saying "Cloud! Look after your mother; you know she's a bit too useless to look after herself, 'kays?" Muti ranted for ages about how she wasn't useless! It was really fun to learn all the recipes especially because Dad would always put little drawings on and he would always write down exactly what he was thinking at the time!"

Cloud laughed musically he was always so scatter brained! Drove Muti up the wall!"

The girls seemed to be hanging on his every word, one of the asked hesitantly as though afraid Cloud would go back into his shell, "What does Muti mean?"

Cloud looked at her Hmm-ing "Oh Its Niebel for Mama really, I grew up there! Dad loved those mountains 'because that's where he met his "Love of his life!"

The girls looked at each other before the same one asked "Cloud do you think it will be okay if we request to sit with you tomorrow?"

Cloud grinned blush dusting his cheeks slightly as he chirped, "Sure! That would really help me out ladies!"

The other hosts had been watching the little conversation with awe, "How is he so popular?" Kadaj murmured Yazoo asked, "Is there some secret technique we don't know about?" Loz shook his head saying, "No way big brother, he's not using any technique!"

"He's a Natural." Claimed Sephiroth in answer to the trio's questions.

"No training needed" quipped Genesis, before the mean girl from earlier spoke saying, "Have you forgotten about me? Genesis?"

To which Genesis replied with a flourish, "Of course not my Princess, I'm just a little concerned about our newest member." She sniffed dismissively before saying slyly, "Well that's obvious, you sure have been keeping an eye on him."

"Why of course!" Genesis replied smoothly, "after all I am training him to be a good host like me. It would reflect badly on his mentor should something go awry."

Genesis clicked his fingers loudly and gestured to Cloud, "Cloud—"he called, "Come here for a minute."

Cloud excused himself from the ladies at his table and made his way over to where Genesis and his sour faced lady were seated. Genesis then introduced the lady:

"Cloud I would like you to meet someone, this is my regular guest, Princess Ianokoji, I'd like you to say hello."

..Huh it's that girl from earlier…. Oh well smile and continue…

"Miss, it's a pleasure to meet you." Cloud smiled warmly at her, before being suddenly enveloped in a bone-crushing hug from Genesis that spun Cloud round in circles. Announcing:

"That was so cute! Super good! Amazingly good! You're just the cutest little thing! Just like a baby chocobo! So Cu~te!"

Struggling to breath Cloud called out desperately to the first person he saw, "Hewley sir! Please help me!"

Angeal reacted immediately; he extracted Cloud from Genesis hold in one fell swoop and held Cloud up out of Genesis' reach.

Genesis pouted childishly, "You didn't have to do that! Give him back! Come one my little Chocobo come back to daddy!" He reached up for cloud only for him to be bulled further from is reach, all the while "Princess" Ianokoji, glared at Cloud who was completely oblivious.

OoOoOoO

Later that day Cloud was looking for his bag by one of the large bay windows in front of the clubroom, but he couldn't find it, looking out the window he spotted it.

Someone had thrown his bag into the lily pond; there amongst the water lilies lay his bag with its contents floating across the pond disturbing the gentle ripples being created by the fountain of a red lion with flames for a tail, and water gushing out between its stone jaws.

Cloud gasped when he saw the state of his belongings, groaning and taking off tearing down the hallway, "Damn it! I thought there was no bulling at this school! Urgh!"

As he ran he passed the "Sour Princess" and paused when she spoke, "Oh it's you. I bet you love having Genesis giving you a makeover and fawning over you but it's useless you know? You're always going to be a second class citizen."

She then walked away without taking a backwards glance cloud paused before running off.

Cloud sighed to himself; I have a feeling that girl is the one who threw my bag in the pond. Gahh! I can't be bothered with that right now! I have to find my wallet or I won't have money for lunch this week.

Bending over with his trouser legs rolled up Cloud attempted to find his wallet at the bottom of the pond he was glad though that the water wasn't that deep frowning as he moved some more lily stems out of the way.

"Hey commoner! You've got a lot of nerve skipping out on club duties you know!"

Genesis called form the side of the pond; Cloud ignored him as it would only encourage the lecture if he responded. Genesis spoke again, "Hey why is your bag all wet?"

Cloud answered this time, though not looking up, until he heard a big splash, "I-It's no big deal, I got it!"

Cloud straightened suddenly up when he heard the splash and turned to see Genesis in the water with him with his trousers rolled up Cloud yelped, "What do you think you're doing! You'll get wet!"

Genesis smiled as he searched the bottom of the pond and said, "Well a little bit of water never harmed anyone did it?" His smile became almost forlorn as he continued, "people are always telling me that I'm dripping with good looks, eh? Found it!" He straightened up and handed the wallet out to Cloud asking, is this what you were looking for?"

Cloud looked at him as though seeing him for the first time Genesis Grinned and teased, "What's the matter not falling for me are you?" Cloud Snorted swiping the wallet from his hand whilst quipping, "Who would?"

"Why was you're bag in the pond anyway?" Genesis questioned, Cloud fidgeted under his curious gaze, "I guess I must have accidentally dropped it out the window at some point?"

OoOoOoO

"Oh really, that must have been terrible whatever did you do? I don't know what I would have done if it had been my bag."

The ever-sarcastic tones of Ianokoji ran out through the clubroom, Cloud sighed as he stared at his costumer who was sipping her tea; I wonder why she assigned to me? It's obvious she doesn't like me…

"And you actually made Genesis search that dirty old pond with you? You've got some nerve, you do realise that Genesis is a blue blood not a commoner like you? You do realise the only reason Genesis is paying any attention to you is because he's trying to turn you into a gentleman right?"

So that's its…..

"Don't think he cares about you just because he's doting on you."

"You're jealous," Cloud murmured in realisation. Ianokoji froze and then Cloud found himself practically pulled over the table and on top of the girl as the table fell to the side and the china smashed Cloud froze as the girl screamed.

"NO CLOUD! LEAVE ME ALONE! SOMEBODY HELP ME? HE JUST ATTACKED ME!"

Cloud froze terrified, as the girl continued screaming, "SOMEONE SAVE ME! SOMEONE TEACH THIS COMONER A LESSON!"

Suddenly three jugs filled with water were poured over their heads, Cloud gasped at the cold of the water, whereas the girl just gasped in outrage she asked, "Why did you do that?" to the trio who just grinned at her evilly.

Cloud sat back as he had tried to prevent her getting wet, it didn't really work so she was still soaked. Slowly Genesis walked over and offered the girl a hand up, once he set her on her feet she spoke, "Do something Genesis, Cloud just assaulted me!"

Genesis just brushed some wet hair from her eyes and tucking it behind her ear before saying, "I'm disappointed in you Princess, you threw Clouds bag into the pond didn't you?" Cloud looked at Genesis startled as he had thought the red headed blue blood had forgotten.

Ianokoji just yelped defensively, "You don't know that! Do you have any proof that I did?"

Genesis sighed and cupped the side of her face in his hands and said softly, "You know, you're a beautiful girl, but you just not well mannered enough for this club. If there's one thing I know, Cloud is not that kind of a man."

Sephiroth pushed his glasses higher on the bridge of is nose before saying, "I am afraid we are going to have to ask you to leave."

Ianokoji welled up with tears with a final shriek of "Genesis you idiot!" she fled from the host club never to return.

Genesis turned to Cloud and teasingly said, "Hmmmm I wonder, how I am going to punish you, as it is your fault after all!"

Pointing at Cloud Genesis proclaimed, "Your quota is now one thousand!"

Cloud Gawked at him, stuttering "O-one thousand?"

Genesis held out a hand saying "come on—"pulling Cloud to his feet winking he said, "—I have high expectations for you my little rookie!"

Cloud just looked at him confused with one eyebrow raised. Sephiroth held out a red paper bag with cord handles to Cloud saying, "Sorry this is the only spare we have, but it's better than a wet one right?"

Cloud peeked inside the bag, he then looked up at Sephiroth smiled and said, "Thanks, I'm going to go get changed now okay you guys?" he looked pointedly at the Trio who were grinning wickedly once more.

OoOoOoO

As he entered the changing rooms Genesis called out "Cloud! I've brought you some towels." gently he pulled back the curtain to reveal:

Cloud just finishing pulling a chemise like undergarment over his head, turning whilst adjusting the slip so it fell properly he said "thanks—"but Genesis had already let the curtain close.

"Cloud…." He called apprehensively, "Are you a girl?"

Cloud snorted from behind the curtain, as there were more sounds of rustling cloth, "No you idiot! It's the spare uniform Sephiroth gave me."

Genesis stuttered as Cloud pulled back the curtain dressed in Shinra academy's girls uniform, complete with the pale yellow bell skirt and neatly tied red ribbon.

Genesis spluttered, "B-but the under dress t-thing?"

Cloud sighed and brushed imaginary dust of the bottom of the skirt, before saying, "You've never worn a dress like this before have you Sir? The lace petty coats can be really uncomfortable so you wear a slip underneath, duh."

Genesis squawked, "Of course I haven't! I'm a boy! But have you?"

Cloud shrugged nonchalantly, "yeah I had a friend in middle school who always made me try on her new design's she made in textiles, that and Muti always wanted a daughter."

Genesis half mumbled, "But, But…"

"By the way Sir, I have to say I thought you were pretty cool earlier!"

Genesis practically collapsed blushing furiously as Cloud blinked up at him obliviously. Zack giggled at "Genny-pie's expression. Whilst Sephiroth murmured to himself whilst writing something down, "I may be wrong but we could be witnessing the beginning of love here…" The trio sniggered in time.

Cloud sighed and smiled, "Oh please Sir, being a host isn't all that bad, and I can still work like this besides I have to pay you back right? Besides, being fussed over by a bunch of girls isn't all that much of a hardship.

Genesis exclaimed suddenly, "But … But your gay aren't you?"

Cloud looked at him flatly, "Sir, in my opinion it's better to fall in love with someone for who they are rather than what sex they are right?"

Genesis nodded stunned to silence.

Cloud just smiled and chirped happily, "I suppose we'll be working together from now on right Sir's?"


Dada! i'm done!

(1) real japanese honest totally true

(2) ditto

(3) Loveless quote from crisis core ^ ^

few that took longer than i expected... only 23 chapters left to go...

if you prod me enough i'll most likely update soon otherwise updates will be random and most likely far between.

Ta~teacups

Ps. Please review!

P.P.S. No flames!