Summary: "I love you too, Athrun," Cagalli muttered the name with utmost care, while in another man's embrace.
Claimer: I claim not to own anything. Feh.
Let Slip
It is a cold December day and Cagalli and Shinn are out on a date.
They have just emerged out of a Chinese restaurant—their personal favorite—when Shinn sees Cagalli shiver slightly beside him.
It is snowing now, something Shinn did not foresee; he left his coat at home, and his girlfriend doesn't have a jacket on her too.
Feeling a bit playful, Shinn thinks of an idea. He grabs Cagalli's wrist, and pulls her gently to him. He buries her head on her hair, his arms around her waist.
"S-S-Shinn!," is all Cagalli can say as she feels the heat rise to her cheeks instantly.
She makes random motions to break away from his embrace, uncomfortable with their public display of affection.
Shinn enjoys her futile attempts to break free. He does not let go, and soon enough, he feels her movements subside.
Cagalli decides to return his hug. She knows he isn't going to release her until he gets what he wants. Besides, she enjoys his attention, too. Shinn is rarely like this, she might as well enjoy this moment while it lasts.
When she finally complies, Shinn asks, "all warm now, princess?" Shinn's warm breath is tickling her cheeks.
She briefly nods, careful not to hurt Shinn in the process, and says a muffled, "Thanks."
Even though Shinn cannot see her, he knows she is blushing ones again. How he loves to make her blush.
So he decides to make her flush a deeper shade, he whispers, "I love you, Cagalli."
"And I love you too, Athrun," Cagalli mutters the name with utmost care.
Two pairs of eyes widens at the sudden pronouncement. Cagalli's widened amber orbs looks shocked and fearful. Shinn's amethyst ones are stunned as well.
Cagalli recovers first. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to say that…" She trails off.
Her gaze averts to the ground as she gently pushes her way out of Shinn's embrace. Shinn isn't able to look at her either. His sight drops to the ground as well, and his arms to his sides.
So she still loves Athrun?
He is shocked, but he has to admit, it is not unexpected. To be Cagalli's boyfriend after breaking up with the perfectZala, he has already predicted as much. Forgetting someone like Athrun isn't easy. When the gods blessed the world, most—if not all—good traits went to Zala's pot.
But he is nonetheless surprised, for in the two years he and Cagalli dated, she rarely speaks of Athrun as an ex-lover (he remains to be their friend), let alone express the desire to get back with him. She appears fine with their break-up, and has moved on since.
So what happens now?
It is Shinn's turn to shiver, his mind playing dark thoughts.
Shinn tries his utmost to shrug them off. 'Cagalli has always been faithful. It is just… what she said is just… a very spur-of-the-moment. She just accidentally let slip… the truth.' Shinn sighs.
A painful silence settles between them.
No one is ready to speak first. No one knows what to say, and so they seek refuge in their own thoughts.
Cagalli bites her lip. She is thinking, trying to make sense of what just happened. It is an accident, not intentional, yet the thought has been lurking in her subconscious mind. It is true that she loves Athrun, but he is a part of the past now. He's nothing more than just a good friend to both her and Shinn. It is Shinn whom is with.
Shinn. It is Shinn who stayed with her when she broke up with Athrun a few years ago. She finds comfort in Shinn, the young man who used to be very angry with her. She knows he had a good side but she never expected that she's going to be the one whom he'll display that certain aspect of him to.
When Shinn asked her to be his girlfriend, she did not refuse. It wasn't actually love that she felt for him at first, but more of a brotherly affection. But with them always together and with him always good to her, she cannot help but fall in love with him as well. It is impossible for her not like him.
But Athrun…he will always be more than just a 'somebody' in her life. After all, it isn't because they have fallen out of love that they decided to separate, but because of some noble reasons… Cagalli wants to see him successful, as he should be. The reason why she broke up with Athrun is because she loves him too much that she couldn't bear to be the one to bring him to his downfall. Athrun belongs to PLANTS and she with ORB. It is truly impossible that they be together.
Cagalli is so puzzled that she cannot think of anything else to do now… except thumb the tears threatening to fall from her shining amber eyes. With Athrun or with Shinn, Cagalli is still the same one who is afraid to show her weakness—through crying, not if she can help it.
When Shinn finally gathers the strength to look at Cagalli, he sees her eyes brimming with tears.
He mentally kicks himself for allowing this. How can he be so cruel to the woman he loves? Cagalli is confused, and he is the reason behind it. He understands. Cagalli is still faithful, but definitely confused.
Hoping to make up for his stupidity, he gives Cagalli a small kiss on her forehead.
She looks up at him with questioning eyes, as if asking if he could forgive her.
He only smiles at her, and says, "It's all right, love. I know. I love you too much, Cagalli."
He takes a deep breath and continues, "I'm not trying to replace Athrun, okay? Because I'm different, as you might have seen. Probably you knew I have no future unlike Athrun that's why you welcomed me to be with you." Shinn smiled childishly.
Briefly, Cagalli shakes her golden head. "That's not true. You have a future. And I still hope it involves me." Her head bows again, "I'm sorry. I love you. Although I don't deserve it, please understand."
"Absolutely, love." And to totally elevate the mood he grins at her. He adds, "Now where were we? Ah… I see that a kiss is most appropriate after a hug. Agree?" He laughs.
Cagalli laughs with him, "Nah, a snow ball fight it is! Look at all these snow. Aren't they pretty?"
This is exactly why she loves Shinn, because he's so different from Athrun. Athrun is serious, and pained, while, Shinn is young and carefree. So forgiving, understanding, and resilient…
Unbeknownst to her, she is responsible for that change. The wonders of love.
'I'll wait – patiently—until you're ready, Cagalli.'
I pray you find it in your hearts to review. Much love. Thank you. *hugs*
