Broken
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of its respective characters. However, I do own Layla Levandi and the writing seen here. Please do not use them without my permission.
Layla knows deep down that she's better than these girls, that she is the one Mello has chosen as his companion. But, even in the smoky atmosphere of the old abandoned church that now serves as Mello's hideout, she cannot help but feel the slightest bit intimidated.
Normally, she would be content to sit in the apartment to wait dutifully for Mello's return, but ever since Matt had let it slip that there were women sitting in on these meetings, Layla could not let her insecurities slide out of her mind.
She's always known that Mello has been with other women before her, and as much as she tries to hide it, the thought makes her vaguely uncomfortable. She is not experienced in matters of relationships and only lets her feelings guide her. Which means that more often than not, she has no self control.
But these women in the mafia have, if anything, remarkable self control. Most of them are daughters or younger lovers of Mello's underlings, and she almost envies their ease as they gaze intently at Mello as he issues various plans regarding everything illegally profitable.
Even with the massive scar that stretches down the left side of Mello's body, he is still remarkably irresistible, a fact that Layla is both prideful, and wary of.
The women's stares at first had been bemused when she had entered the center of the church with Mello's fingertips pressed possessively on the small of her back. Of course, those women had probably assumed that she was just a meaningless conquest, sent to one of the mafia meetings to inflate Mello's ego as he showed her his rank in the mafia, like the men who accompanied most of these women were doing now.
However, their bemused stares soon turned to barely masked jealously when she perched easily on Mello's thigh, leaning her head back to rest against the crook of his neck.
But, even that does not ease her mind. She shifts nervously against Mello's chest, trying to seem calm and collected like the other women in the room. But she can't relax when they're all looking at Mello, their eyes clouded with something like lust, but a little different too.
Instead, she focuses on how Mello's voice sounds as she leans against his chest. His voice echos through his body and she is reminded of the way songs used to reverberate through her mother's church as a child. But then, her mind gives way to another thought, rudely unwelcome as it passes through her mind.
Why is he letting me do this?
Normally, Mello had been careful about their relationship status. Especially after the incident with the mafia that had resulted in the scar that stretched over her nose and cheeks. Deep down, she knows that the reason for his secrecy isn't vanity, or even desire of other woman, it's because she's his weakness.
He has never once admitted even the slightest affection for her. There are no whispered promises when they are alone. Even after she was kidnapped by Lucky Lady, when she was found by Mello and the girl they had mistakenly held for ransom, he had still not voiced any affections for her when they had returned home.
But, she supposes he shows that affection in other ways, though they are often material. But, it still does not answer the question burning in her mind, why is he letting her be so affectionate with him?
She spares a glance upward, watching him speak casually to an underling who had asked a question and she suddenly shifts her weight off him a little. She attempts to bring some distance between her and Mello, and the sudden loss of contact makes him glance up at her.
He gives her a look that both seems nervous and questioning, but as always, it is quickly masked.
Layla has to wonder if he even notices the way the women stare at him, and a sharp pang of jealousy flutters through her.
She's known that she was not the first to be with Mello intimately and suddenly she wonders if he has slept with any of the women that are at this meeting.
The woman closest to her is staring at at the two of them, and it is making Layla feel uncomfortable. The woman is prettier than her, with long wavy blond hair and startling green eyes. Like her face, her body is just as flawless and Layla cannot help but feel strangely inadequate. She suddenly leans against Mello's chest, grateful for the warmth he provides.
He gives her that strange look again, then shakes his head. After a few more moments of Mello's instruction he dismisses his underlings, and Layla tries not to notice the way the blonde woman stares daggers at the back of Layla's head as she walks by.
"What's wrong?" Mello asks, fingers going into his pocket to reach for a chocolate bar.
She shakes her head and fingers a strand of his blonde hair almost absentmindedly. The snap of chocolate is the only sound in the room, and she watches the dark brown candy disappear between pale pink lips.
"I'm not going to play guessing games with you." Mello states plainly, staring at her sharply. "Either tell me what's bothering you or quit acting like a frightened dog."
Her nose wrinkles in anger at the thought of Mello comparing her to a dog, and a frightened one at that. But, this isn't the time to fight and she is too exhausted to do so for once.
"That blond woman. Did you sleep with her?"
The words come out of her lips before she can stop them and for a moment they shock her.
Mello reclines back against his chair lazily, resting his head on his hand.
"Yes." he says after a moment, there is no hint of remorse in the statement, no apology.
"Oh." she says plainly.
The thought that someone else has seen Mello naked frightens her a little, and somewhere deep inside, it hurts her too.
For the first time since she has been with Mello, she feels a strange sort of uncertainty and once again, before she can stop herself, she speaks.
"Did you miss me...at all? Like when you left Wammy's House...did you miss me?"
The question doesn't really surprise Mello, but it does make him wonder how he should answer. He can either tell her the truth, admit the strange, burning pain of her absence, or he can give her something truthful, but not as precise.
"Yes." he says, opting for the second choice.
Strangely, even though he has admitted missing her she looks hurt, even a little angry.
"So you missed me enough to sleep with some blond?" she sneers.
Mello rolls his eyes. Women can be incredibly childish at times and he shakes his head. "Layla, it doesn't matter. You know that. That was over three years ago anyways."
She scoffs sharply, and lifts herself off of him, brushing back her hair almost lazily.
"So why did you bring me here? Why are you actually letting me touch you in front of your little mafia."
The truth is perhaps the best option here.
"To keep the woman away from me." Mello says with a snort. "They'd stop admiring me if they knew I was with someone else."
However, Layla does not seem satisfied with the truth and stalks outside, presumably to smoke, and bitch to Matt who is waiting for them in the car.
The light from the stained glass window leaves small broken fragments of color where her boots have stepped and Mello cannot help but wonder how much her breaks her every day.
