Disclaimer: I don't own anything in OTH or The Notebook.


"Yesterday To Tomorrow"

Beauty is what the eyes behold
And you burn brighter than most

Helen Keller once said, "When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

Terrified as many would be, she was, afraid to let go of the past that now stood behind her, so familiar, so memorable, so safe. A life she had gotten accustomed to, was gone, torn away, and she was had once again what she has been most of her life: alone. She shouldn't have expected anything else, she shouldn't have hoped for better, she shouldn't have believed. Solitude was the one constant in her life, and it would always be, as it had been proven so many times. And now, all hope for better had faded away; she couldn't go backwards, she feared going forward, so she sat where she was, in that one position that she despised, yet knew best.

And, then he came.

I chased you thru the midnight streets
To be where I could speak freely

"I guess it's just you and me this summer."

So much could be articulated by one simple statement. It had always been that way between them, not too many words – everything could be expressed by just a simple gesture. Both hurt and confused, scarred and broken, and yet it was a time of clarity, of optimism that would not exist otherwise. They had fallen back into each other's arms, perhaps, for once, at the right time. Perhaps.

I didn't care what tomorrow held
I felt the world turning only for us

"So where are we going today?"

"The beach!"

"Peyton, we've been going to the beach every single day for the past month," he whined, simultaneously devouring his pancakes.

"So?"

"Don't you think it's a little repetitive?"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Lucas, it's summer…that's what you do. You go to the beach."

"Why don't you go by yourself?" Lucas retorted, trying to sound irritated.

"I can't do that," she answered simply. "What if I get kidnapped?"

"And, here I was, thinking were too old for a chaperone. Well, if you really do need someone to accompany you, I'll be more than happy to call Mrs. Finley across the street. She had been going down to the beach herself every day –"

"-and, trying to outlaw bikinis," Peyton finished. "No, thank you. Well, I guess, if you won't go with me, I'll just have to call Josh to take me."

Lucas gulped. "Josh?"

"Yup, Josh." She picked up her phone, trying not to laugh at Lucas's envious expression.

"No! Wait, I'll go."

"No, it's okay," Peyton replied, shaking her head and dialing a random number. "I don't want to drag you."

"No, I want to go…really." He snatched the phone from Peyton's hands, then after placing his plate in the sink, he rushed to get his beachwear, while Peyton watched him, smirking.

Only bliss now for you and me
Rise up let life's kiss send us reeling

"You know, I still can't believe you kept all of these," she pronounced, holding up a pink stuffed bear holding a heart.

"It was cute," Lucas responded, in his defense, causing Peyton to laugh. "It reminded me that I did indeed have a hold of your heart, as you had a hold of mine."

"Sorry to break it to you, Lucas, but you never had a hold of my heart," she replied, sticking out her tongue.

"Ouch." He pretended to cry, sniffing and rubbing his eyes.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, interrupting their conversation, and Lucas headed out of his room to go see who it was. As soon as he had left, something popped up on his computer, and Peyton, curious, walked over to see what it was.

"An IM from Brooke?" she thought to herself, a little confused. "I didn't know they were staying in touch."

And unlike the times before
From yesterday comes tomorrow

CheerGrl119: Hey its me. My parents r letting me go back. N something else, u said u kept all those Peyton stuff to remind urself about the mistakes u made w/ me n I dunno if I believe u but OK. I want 2 give us a try, lucas cuz I luv u. so wen I get back, I hope we can do this. K gotta go, bye

When life comes alive the past moves aside
No regrets and no remorse

It was as if she was a glutton for punishment, never learning, always returning to her same mistakes. Something was surely wrong with her, everything that took place, everything good, was continuously being snatched from her. A masochist, she was, always subjecting herself to experiences that left her even more bruised than before. And to think she could trust him again.

I guess people never really change. Well, change back, at least.

"Peyton, where were you? I was looking—Peyton, what's the matter?"

She didn't need to turn around to know who it was. He was always there, an unpleasant shadow that would not let her be, would not let her escape, would not let her stop hurting. She didn't respond to his queries, just sat, silently on her bed, wearing a cold expression on her face, avoiding his eyes.

"Peyton, you can tell me, I'm here," he cooed, innocently, but she knew better.

"So, you and Brooke, keeping in touch?" she asked, her tone lacking emotion.

"What?" Lucas was taken back; he hadn't expected Peyton to ask about him and Brooke at a time like this. "Peyton, what's going on with you?"

"Answer my question."

"Um, okay…no, I haven't talked to her ever since she left."

Peyton chuckled. "Liar."

"Peyton, what are you talking about?"

"Lucas, stop with this shit, okay? I know about you and Brooke."

"Know what?"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Nothing, okay? Nothing. Just…leave me alone."

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on."

Typical Lucas. A hero, he thought he was, trying to save everyone, thinking he could help, when all he did was worsen matters.

"Just leave, ok Lucas?"

"No, I won't." He knew she was pushing him away…again. "Peyton, I know this has nothing to do with me and Brooke, there's something else you're not telling me."

"ou're right, this has nothing to do with you and Brooke. It has to do with you. You and your pathetic lies."

"What? I didn't lie to you!"

"Oh, really?" Peyton laughed, her voice humorless. "So, you didn't talk to Brooke all summer? At all? You didn't tell me that the box with all my stuff in it was to remind you of the good times we had?"

"No, I didn't talk to Brooke all summer! Why are we even talking about this? And the box's purpose was the one you just mentioned!"

"Well, funny, Brooke didn't seem to think so." Lucas's face turned white. "As I remember, she seemed to think that the box was to remind you of the mistakes you made with me. Am I wrong, Lucas?"

Silence.

"I thought so."

"Peyton, it's not what you think."

"No, Lucas, it's exactly with I think. You know, it's okay if you think everything we had was a mistake. It really is. But, what I don't understand is why you had to lie to me about it."

"I didn't lie to you, Peyt."

"I had enough of your crap, Lucas! Just get the fuck out."

"Peyt-"

"Lucas, stop! Okay? I don't want to hear anything, I don't need to hear anything else." She forcefully pushed Lucas out of her room, then, before slamming the door, added, "You know, you were right. This was a mistake."

We have more than everything
More than man or machine

For two weeks, it went on. He would follow her around like a stalker, constantly apologizing, trying to get her to listen, be she continued to ignore him, and when it got too much to handle, she slapped him. But, nothing could get him to leave, not even her flirtations with Josh or her excruciating words.

"Peyton, just listen to me."

"Fine."

"Please…wait, fine?" He blinked. Peyton was willing to listen to him?

"You've got five minutes. After that, you have to promise to leave me alone."

"Okay." Peyton remained silent, her eyes focused on something far away as she waited for Lucas to begin. "Peyton, first I want to say sorry, not for lying to you, because I didn't. But for putting you through all this shit. The truth for keeping the box was to remind me of you. But, I just couldn't tell that to Brooke." He waited for her to speak, but she remained silent. "I know you probably don't believe that, but it's true. I had to tell her what I told her because I couldn't think of something better, and that was the only thing that would make her stay. I know it sounds pathetic, but I was alone then, okay? Haley was gone, my mom was gone, Nathan wouldn't talk to me, Anne had left, and you...well, I screwed up things with you. Brooke was the only one there, the only one who was paying any attention to me."

More than luck
More than fiction
Higher than any religion

He stopped again. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was lonely and alone, and I didn't deserve anyone around me. So, when Brooke was about to leave, I wanted to stop her, for my own selfish reasons, I wanted her to stay so that I wouldn't be here alone. I admit, at one point, I really did think I was in love with her, but then, that night, I went to the beach, and there you were. And, we just sat there all night, and I knew what I really wanted. It was you."

And unlike the times before
From yesterday comes tomorrow

"Is that all?"

Lucas nodded. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"What do you want me to say…that I want you too?" Lucas remained silent. "Well, I can't, because that would be lying. I'm not going to fall for your crap again Lucas."

"I'm not lying, Peyton. I'm serious. Remember that time you yelled at me, told me I was a bad friend? That was when I realized, Peyton that I was still in love with you."

Peyton laughed. "Wow, way to contradict yourself, Luke. You just said that you wanted me after that day at the beach."

"I did. But, after you told me that I wasn't qualified anymore, I knew you were right. I knew that I didn't deserve you, and I knew that you wanted Jake, you needed Jake. So, I called him. And, you know what I did then? I tried to forgot you. That was why I never talked to you all those times – I knew you were with him, and it hurt like hell. When I broke up with Anna, I told her it was because someone else was slipping away from me, and it was you. But, I realized that after I ended things with her, that I couldn't have you. So, I tried to fall for Brooke. Anna told me that she thought I had feelings for Brooke, so I pretended that I did. I tried to make myself believe that."

"So, now you're telling me you used Brooke?"

When life comes alive the past moves aside
No regrets and no remorse

"Yes, no…I don't know, okay? I was being selfish, I know that. I thought that if I wasn't preoccupied doing something else, I would do something that would jeopardize your relationship with Jake. And, I didn't want that. So, I spend all my time with Brooke. I know it was wrong, but I had no other choice. She was the only one there who could get me over you, like she had almost done before. All I needed to do this time was stay from you. She's great Peyton, she really is, but she's not you."

We'll squeeze the blood out of life
And say goodnight to the silver of old

"Five minutes are over."

That's all she had uttered. Her last words, she supposed, for he was pretty sure she never wanted to talk to him again. He had been so sure she would believe him, so sure that she would just consider forgiving him, but there had been no compassion in her eyes; in fact, her eyes held no emotion. But was worse was that he had been completely truthful this time, made himself vulnerable, told her everything that he had felt. Yet, she had responded icily, the one thing that was just unbearable.

He didn't try once more to convince her to forgive him, for he knew it would be effortless. He couldn't offer her more than the truth, and she had denied it. He didn't blame her; after all, it was reasonable. And, after everything she had been through, he knew that his presence would only cause her pain, so he stayed away, lurking in the darkness, watching her live her life, that fake smile dancing upon her lips, her suffering hidden well inside. But he could see through it. As always.

Even when wrong we're right
Far beyond the world of diamonds and gold

It was just another walk to the park. His hooded sweatshirt on, a basketball under his arm, he walked. It was 6 in the morning, his jogging time, but he wasn't in the mood to do so. He hadn't been for a while. He glanced around; not really paying attention to anything that was around him. That was, until he noticed , on a bench a few feet away, lay a figure, her eyes closed, her jacket tightly wrapped around her, her curly blonde hair in disarray. He ran over, making sure she was fine, and in the process of doing so, managed to wake her up.

"Lucas, what the -?" She seemed perplexed at first, then the usual miserable look took over her face.

"Peyton, what happened?"

"None of your fucking business," she grumbled, standing up, preparing to walk away, but was stopped by Lucas, who had held on to her hand.

"Would you just tell me what the fuck happened?"

"No, I won't. You're not part of my life anymore Lucas, and I don't need to tell you anything. Now, let go of my hand."

Suddenly, anger rose inside him. He did not know why, but it did. 'You know what Peyton, fine! Okay, fine! I tried…I tried being your friend, I tried compensating, I tried giving you space, but this isn't working. If you want to be alone the rest of your life, then fine, go ahead, I won't stop you. Sometimes, you have to trust people, Peyton, because if you don't, you're just going to end up like you have been for the past few weeks: alone!"

"Don't tell me who to trust and not to trust, Lucas," Peyton snarled. 'And, maybe I do want to be alone. Because, hell, it seems like I am the only one that I can trust anymore, because everyone – you, my dad – have just been lying to me the whole fucking time!"

"I am not lying to you, Peyton…god, how many times do I have ot tell…wait, your dad?" His rage subsided.

"Yes, my dad! The one person I thought would never lie to me...but he did, my whole fucking life! Turns out Elizabeth is really my mother! And people like you ask me why I have trust issues!"

"Peyton, I'm sorry."

"Whatever, Lucas, I'm done with your fucking apologies, okay? Just leave me alone."

But, he did the exact opposite. Instead, he pulled her into an embrace, one that she resisted at first, but eventually accepted, letting everything out – her anger, her frustration, her misery, her sobs.

I've come to realize
Where happiness lies

"Lucas, it's going to take time."

"I know."

"I mean, a lot of time."

"I know."

"I mean – "

"Peyton, I know. Now, will you shut up, I'm trying to watch something."

Peyton looked back at the TV in front of her. "I don't believe you're into this, Lucas. I mean, seriously, you're a guy."

"So? Can a guy not like The Notebook?" He took a handful of popcorn and stuffed it into his mouth. "I bet there's lots of girls out there who would kill to get a sensitive guy like me."

"Yea, don't flatter yourself there, Luke. I bet when it comes to the confusion and lies – "

"I didn't lie. I simply forgot to tell you a detail of the whole…thing."

They remained silent for a while, watching the screen.

"What are we going to do, Lucas?"

"Huh?"

"About Brooke. I mean, we've been down this path before –"

"I'll do what Allie did, tell her the truth."

"Yea, well, Lon and Noah are best friends in our situation."

"And Noah and Allie aren't dating since Noah needs time."

"Ok, can we stop with the Noah and Allie thing please?" She picked up the remote and turned the TV off.

"Hey! I was watching that."

"Lucas, this is serious, alright?"

"I know. Look, there's nothing to worry about. By the time you're ready to have a relationship with me, she'll be over me."

"How do you know?"

"Well, because, she isn't going to wait forever for me, and well, you…you take forever to get ready." He stole the remote from her, and turned the TV on.

"I don't take forever!"

"Do we need a reminder of last time-?"

"That wasn't forever."

"Yes, it was."

"No."

"No."

"Yes."

"See? You admitted it. Now, be quiet, I love this part." He grabbed a tissue from the box in front of him and got ready to wipe his tears.

Peyton just rolled her eyes. "Boys." Then, she turned her gaze to Lucas. Perhaps things will be alright between them this time. Just perhaps.

I want you to know I know
And unlike the times before
When life comes alive the past moves aside
No regrets no remorse

-Audioslave