Jam repeats on Us

By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.

Please read: "In a Jam" by Me.

I've thought of Launchpad being there when the Beagles steal the Jam and Launchpad TRYING to stop them...suggestions, anybody?

Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I do. I am NOT responsible for what Boom does.

It's almost May. Boom's Ducktales will be out soon. I DO hope I'm not sorry I said anything.

I am NOT responsible if they make Launchpad look like a moron AGAIN or otherwise do him wrong. Worse comes to worse, I will declare him a fake and ignore him. Hope I don't have to.

I don't like having to ignore Cap't Sham over at DC either, but the ORIGINAL Captain Marvel he is NOT.

Hmm. Apparently Boom/Disney and I have different opinions on when "soon" is.


One day, Mr. McDuck called Launchpad into his office. Griz of SHUSH was there. So was Gizmoduck.

"SHUSH rebuilt the Jam, the indestructible plane. We think it really is indestructible this time. The Beagles somehow stole it! Fortunately, it had very little fuel in it and it requires a special kind of fuel that's not easy to get. Unfortunately, we think the Beagles realized they had very little fuel and hid the plane. If the plane has some fuel left, they may manage to make some more!" Griz said.

"The Beagles will try to ram the plane into my Bin and rob it! How am I supposed to stop an indestructible plane!" Mr. McDuck asked. "You ARE a pilot..do you have any ideas?"

"Blind them? No plane is allowed to come close to the money bin without permission. That means just me or Sharan. Air traffic will warn you of any other plane. If you fired something black and sticky at their "windshield"..." Launchpad suggested.

"They'll crash! And they are TRYING to crash into the Bin!" Mr. McDuck snorted.

"If you can blind them far away enough from the Bin, they won't be able to see it well enough to crash into it. Radar will indicate buildings ahead but not which building is the Bin. There are a number of tall buildings not far from the Bin." Launchpad said.

"We don't want them crashing into a tall building! We've had quite enough of THAT, thank you very much!" Griz muttered.

"The Beagles may be stupid, but they're NOT suicidal! They won't crash into another building, just the Bin! They'll have enough sense to give up and land if they can't see and can't tell which building is the Bin!" Launchpad said "The impact of the crash might kill them even if the PLANE is indestructible!"

"Sir...what about that " indestructible glass" that you used to protect the Bin (and take away my job) once? (1) I know the song of that bird breaks it, but nothing ELSE does. If you put that stuff around the Bin again, what happens when a indestructible plane crashes into an indestructible Bin?" Giz asked.

"Something's got to give?" Launchpad joked.

"I'm afraid he's right! Something DOES have to give! If that something is the Bin and not the plane... That's another reason I never used the glass to protect the Bin again, despite the rarity of those birds whose cries can break it! What if somebody made a battering ram out of the same glass? We'd be back to "something's got to give" again!" Mr. McDuck snorted.

" And we KNOW something can break that glass, but the plane has to exist in the here and the now to be vulnerable. It doesn't, so how can we hurt it?" Mr . McDuck asked.

"Maybe we're going about this wrong? The Beagles must of hidden the Jam in or near Duckburg. If we can find it before they can steal or make more fuel for it, the Beagles won't have an indestructible plane to smash thur the Bin!" Launchpad suggested.

"Where was the Jam last seen?" Giz asked.

"Right here. " Griz replied pointing to a spot on a map, one right outside Duckburg. "It was headed for Duckburg, then it disappeared below radar. Must of landed someplace nearby. " Griz replied.

"Then look for the Jam! And FIND it and recover it before the Beagles can use it to rob my Bin." Mr. McDuck ordered.

So fanning out from the Jam's last recorded position, Launchpad and Giz searching for the Jam. But the Beagles can be clever.

Using stolen money, the Beagles rented a "parking space" for the Jam from a small airfield, having painted the Jam, including it's ID numbers. Our heroes somehow assumed the Beagles had hidden the Jam, had concealed it. They didn't realized the Beagles had hidden it in plane (ouch!) sight.

Then Launchpad, searching for the Jam in his plane happened to fly over that airfield in his search. Launchpad ignored the planes below at first, assuming the Jam was HIDDEN. Then something caught his eye.

()() A PURPLE plane? And it's NOT the Thunderquack. It's the Jam! Painted over!()() Launchpad thought.

The Beagles had repainted the Jam, once air force blue, red. But the blue showed thur the cheap paint they swiped and now the blueberry Jam was grape Jam. The Beagles had also removed the engine which required special fuel and were in the process of replacing it with a "borrowed" normal jet engine requiring normal jet fuel.

"You SURE replacing the special engine with a regular plane engine is a GOOD idea?" Bomber asked Big Time. "There's GOT to be a reason they gave it a special engine!"

"You ain't flying it far enough to matter! You're just going to smash it thur the Bin, swipe the money and fly off again! Soon as we get the money, we'll land this baby and get a normal plane that they AIN'T looking for!" Big Time replied.

Meanwhile, Launchpad was on the radio to Giz.

"Giz, this is Launchpad! I found the Jam! The Beagle's repainted it and "parked" it in a small airfield on the edge of Duckburg! You'd better get out here, I'll need help to recapture it!" Launchpad said.

However, Launchpad didn't know that the Beagles were putting another engine into the Jam. Seeing a plane with (to the Beagles) the all-too-familiar dollar symbol of Scrooge McDuck on it, the Beagles hastened to install the engine and gas up the plane. The Beagles got into the Jam and aimed it towards the Bin before something could happen to prevent them from taking off.

By the time Giz got there, the Beagles had installed the engine and had taken off in the Jam. But Duckblur had come along. Duckblur wanted to see if her Time powers could bring the Jam into the here and now. The Jam is indestructible because it's held in abeyance, it existed yesterday and will exist tomorrow but does not quite exist today.

Duckblur sped up time in the vicinity of the Jam, trying to bring it into today. The Beagles slowed the Jam down and not much happened. Duckblur tried slowing down Time in the area of the Jam, the Beagles sped up and again not much happened. The engine strained and smoked badly , IT existed in the here and now, even if the rest of the Jam did not. But the Money Bin was dead ahead. Even if the engine quit, momentum would carry the Beagles right thur the Bin and the Beagles could cart it the Bin's content's off.

But sometime while all this was going on, Giz had disappeared and now he returned, carrying a lead pail with a tight fitting lead lid. Giz opened the pail and sprinkled fairy dust all over the Jam. The strange dust sparkled, but nothing else happened. Then the Jam crashed into the Bin...and folded like an accordion. Mr. McDuck had, of course, evacuated the Money Bin. He's not THAT money happy.

The Jam was now a normal plane and was crushed by the tough Bin. Why weren't the Beagles hurt or killed?

The Beagles saw the Money Bin, realized they were deliberately crashing into the Bin. Somebody's faith in the Jam's indestructibility faltered, they panicked and hit the eject button. The Beagles ejected from the Jam at the last second in an ejector seat complete with parachute. Giz and Duckblur guarded the Beagles until the DPD (2) arrived.

"What WAS that stuff you sprinkled on the Jam?" Duckblur asked.

"Residue from bomblastium. What's left over when you use bomblastium to travel in time. It's dangerous because it can still distort time in undisciplined ways. SHUSH has been looking for a way to get rid of it. I sprinkled it over the Jam..." Giz said.

"And it brought the Jam into Now." Launchpad said. 'You know, I bet Mr. McDee would like keeping some of that stuff in lead containers near the Bin, just in case somebody tries this again. He MIGHT even use it against crooks in general...nah, too mean." Launchpad said.

So it was done. Some bomblastium waste was hidden right next to the Bin, in lead containers...just in case. The remains of the Jam was hauled off by SHUSH, which was rethinking rebuilding it.

The End.


(1)Happened in the Ducktales episode "The Unbreakable Bin"

(2) Duckburg Police Department