It's pouring. The clouds, I mean. But I'm not watching it from the safety of my window. No. I see the rain surround me. Let it soak through my clothes and right to my bones. I let it numb me until I can't feel all of the pain of losing them. It would be so easy to cry. The rain could easily cover up my tears. So I let the hot tears of sorrow race down my cheeks. It's hard to believe that less than eight years ago, I wouldn't even show one emotion and now, I'm crying in the rain. There's nothing left to do but grieve for my beloved sparrows.
I hear footsteps on the muddy ground coming my way. "It isn't a good idea to stay out here in the rain. You'll get sick." I recognize the voice as Daine's. I turn and smile weakly.
"I'm already sick," I joke. "I've got heartache." I manage a chuckle but I soon return to crying. She puts up the hood of her cloak and hands me an extra one in my favorite color: russet red. I accept it reluctantly and drape it over my shoulders. She stands beside me, looking down on the muddy landscape.
"Is this about your Sparrows?" the Wildmage asks. I nod since my throat has developed a lump. "Don't cry, Kel. Crying just makes it worse." She rubs comforting circles on my back.
I try my best to stop the tears and I manage to stop sobbing. "Why did they have to go like that?" I ask my voice cracking. "Now I can't even bury them." They burnt away in an explosion, actually. So all that's left are ashes.
"They're in a better place now," she says softly. "Believe me."
I nod and will myself to believe my long-time friend. They are in a better place, I think. Then again, I wouldn't know. I've never been to the Dark Realms before. "Okay," I take a deep breath, "I'll stop crying." I wipe my tears on the robe. "Who'd this come from?"
Daine laughs. "Neal." She nods her head in the direction of the infirmary. "Come on. He's got hot cocoa on the fire."
I smile at her attempts to make me happy. Actually, they're not only attempts. I truly do feel happier with the promise of hot cocoa and people to lean on. But I'll never forget them and how they all died for that town. How they warned the people and saved them all in exchange for their lives. They've taken up a place in my heart and they will never leave.
I give her a smile and we walk to the infirmary. Neal greets us and hands over the hot cocoa, not daring to speak. It's just as well because who knows what will trigger my memory? I've done so many things with my flock and it's so hard to believe that they're all gone in an instant. A small bird lands on my shoulder.
"Hello there, little guy," I coo. It looks to be a swallow. I smile and pet it on the head. Daine probably sent him to comfort me. I don't mind, not at all. I like his company and that reassuring weight on my shoulder that I'm not alone. "I'll name you Ember because you managed to light my heart up." He trills. I guess he likes it.
I'm the first to bring up a topic. "How are things in the infirmary?" I ask. I must pull myself together for my town. I still need to command them although the climax of the war has gone. I pet Ember absent-mindedly. Maybe he will help me make it through.
(A/N) Exactly 600 words not including the A/N! I am very happy. Angst isn't really my kind of stuff but I thought I'd try it and so here it is. I'm also experimenting with First-person POV since I only write Third-person POV. Thank you for reading this far and please review! Flames count as reviews too. I won't mind just as long as you tell me where I can improve. =)
Warmest Regards,
Nell
