Don't Say Goodbye
Haru x Tsuna
Inspired by Davichi's song: Don't Say Goodbye. Since the first time I heard this song I couldn't help but think of Haru, it's bothered me ever since so I decided to write her story.
I would recommend that you hear the song if you haven't before; especially during the duration of this story but that's just a suggestion
Comments are always welcome! =]
First I saw your trembling lips
What are you trying to say? Oh you're not being clear
It was that day in February; there is no way Haru could ever possibly forget. It was the day before Valentine's day. She had worn her favorite clothes, an amber summer dress with sunflowers on it that reminded her of Tsuna's eyes.
I had a sad hunch like all the song lyrics
The past few days before she had seen the faces from the others, like Yamamoto, Ryohei and even Gokudera, who never showed anything. It bothered her the way they looked at her with sympathy and the way they lingered in their hugs as if they knew she needed them. Even Gokudera, she saw something that she was seen had only ever seen in Tsuna, guilt.
No way, it can't be, it won't be, oh it must not be
Haru didn't even make them aware that she noticed. More so it was a final attempt of hers, that maybe just maybe if she didn't acknowledge its existence than it would simply go away on its own. Haru had time to win Tsuna's heart, even though years had passed is what she kept on telling herself.
but
You're leaving me already, your heart leaves
No one told Tsuna that and no one told Haru there was a time limit either. Did she even stand a chance? If his heart was already given to Kyoko, why oh why did her heart have to follow too and forget her hollow behind?
And your body leaves too
The signs were all there, in the body language, Haru thought she was the one who mostly looked at Tsuna and yet failed to notice the warning. When he sat next to Kyoko he would tilt his body more towards her, his hugs would last longer and he smiled a lot more when he was with her. His hand would always reach for hers, even when he wasn't paying attention. Somewhere along the way, Kyoko began to reciprocate, that Haru didn't see.
Or maybe she did and it was her fault because she pretended not to.
I don't know how to retain you, someone please tell me
Maybe that's why she wore the dress, because those eyes would never really look at her, maybe she thought one day they would linger more on her than on Kyoko. Please look at me too. She always gave him chocolate's on Valentine's day, but he would smile more when Kyoko started to give them too. Was she just not pretty, cute, smart enough.
What did she lack that Kyoko had?
Tonight please just don't say those words
It was a conversation that perhaps Haru was not meant to hear. She had a knack for it, which is how she sometimes helped out although she was a noncombat people underestimated her and she learned to listen in for any dangerous conversations. Haru couldn't sleep that night, maybe her body knew before she did. For when she went out into the Vongola hallways heard precisely the moment that Tsuna confessed and consequently proposed to Kyoko.
We can't say goodbye yet, don't open those lips anymore
The next day she still wore the dress, thinking that it had all been a horrible nightmare. Until she opened the door and saw Kyoko's ring and Tsuna being congratulated by everyone, Haru then discovered the power of auto pilot. Her body moved and talked, but Haru was no longer there. No one noticed the difference anyways or when she came back later after excusing herself and her eyes were slightly tinted.
Don't say goodbye to me
Tsuna didn't need to offer any explanation, his actions said it all. Before he could say anything she spoke it all for him, said the things a good friend should say when they find out someone's getting married. Never once showing the girl with broken heart wanting to beg and evaporate right then and there. Haru learned that strength came when there was no other option left.
Your one cold word sank in
As if the world will collapse, as if it had collapsed,
Oh just tears (tears)
In actuality it had been two words, but Tsuna said "I Do" so quickly it sounded like one. She was in the back watching the whole ceremony and smiled and cried, people mistaking them for joy. Haru wasn't sure if she wanted people to know that they were really there because she had finally broke down or stay salvage what little was left of her pride and not show how much it hurts.
If this moment now goes by, if this moment passes,
Haru prayed for it all to go by quickly, but somehow it seemed like the longest day of her life. Those 24 hours felt like an eternity. She noticed just how long every second counts when her tongue began to bleed because she had bit it all through the ceremony so she wouldn't cry out.
We're done for good
While everyone gave wishes and prayers of a long happy life, many kids and to enjoy their honeymoon afterwards, Haru nodded, agreed, smiled but didn't form any coherent sentences. She had spent all her wishes before this moment in hopes and wishes that it would be her receiving this goodwill. So even if she said something now, if God didn't hear her before, why would he now?
I love you, don't leave me who loves you to death
Why do you leave me?
My heart hurts, my chest hurts, and my tears well up
She spent a couple of days in bed, crying nonstop she didn't want to see anyone, perhaps only Tsuna who had left for his honeymoon to the very same island she had discreetly suggested a while back when she was still in high school. But that would never happen, he wouldn't leave his new happy young bride for her and that made her chest hurt even more.
Don't say it
I don't know what breakup is, I'm just sad and sad
Tsuna was her first love, she had loved him for many years since she was young. Now she's a full grown woman but with her heart broken she can no longer remember what's the difference between back then and now, it still hurts the same. She had heard all the songs, read the books but never thought it would happen to her or that it would hurt this much.
I have many stories, many memories, my heart is breaking
Haru remembered it all, the day they first met, when he had saved her and she fell for him head over heels. Proclaiming herself the one to be married to Tsuna one day. Her first failed attempt at making chocolates and she stayed up all night making them right to give them to Tsuna. There were so many more and she still saw them all forever stuck pressing repeat. And there would be no one but her to know about them.
We can't say goodbye yet, don't open those lips anymore
Don't talk anymore, she could still hear and see every word he ever said to her and the ones she always wanted to hear directed towards her. The story of Tsuna and Haru was abrutly stopped midway and she knew it wasn't because she gave up reading it but because it had never been hers to write.
Don't say goodbye to me, don't' say goodbye to me
