A/N:Hey! Jassy here. Well, this is an idea that I pulled out of my ass after watching an old 'I Love Lucy" episode.
Disclaimer: Oh, woe is me! I own none of the Mediator characters. Not even Paulie Waulie or Jesse Wesse. ((sniffle sniffle)) They all belong to Meg Cabot. I just own the plot and Suze's mom's name Amy, Ray Walters (the plane's pilot), Ben McKenzie (the plane's co-pilot), and Captain Thomas Warner (the captain of the cruise).
Summary: Suze is graduating and for a present she gets a, you guessed it (or not): an all-expense paid cruise! But we all know that trouble follows Suze wherever she goes even if it is half way across the country . . . . .
Bear with me you guys. There's a possible chance that it might suck. R&R!
Now presenting Chapter 1 of "Cruise":
-0-
-- Suze's P.O.V. --
Whoa. I can't believe it. I'm finally graduating. I feel so old.
CeeCee, Adam, and I are walking arm-in-arm to the auditorium where the ceremony is now being held. Man, I'm feeling so nervous.
"Hey Cee, don't you have any butterflies in your stomach? I'm so nervous!"
"Not really. I'm been waiting for this moment ever since I was a little girl! It's exhilarating! What about you Adam?"
"Yeah, right", Adam said kind of distractedly.
"Adam, what's the matter?" I asked him curiously.
"Yeah, I've noticed that you haven't been acting like yourself lately. Is anything wrong", CeeCee chimed in.
"Nothing really. It's just that I'm a little sad that we're all going to be separated after this. That's all." Whoa, that was pretty deep for Adam.
"Aw, don't worry about that Adam. We'll always be together, no matter what." CeeCee said soothingly, rubbing his back gently.
"Yeah, Adam. I know I won't ever forget your goofy smile and your corny jokes!" I said to try and lighten up the mood. Adam snickered at that one.
"You never fail to make me laugh, Simon."
"Of course I don't, you silly American! For I am Rebecca Sulagvia, un-failing international spy! Mua ha ha ha ha!" I feigned in a Russian accent. Adam and CeeCee looked at me as if I was some weirdo. "You know what?" I asked in my normal voice. "Let's just keep walking. I don't want to be late." CeeCee and Adam were mumbling something that I vaguely caught. It sounded something like "Is something wrong with her?" and "She's finally gone cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs."
When we arrived, it was overflowing with families, friends, staff workers, faculty members, and graduating seniors of the class of '06.
As we walked down the aisle to our seating section, I saw mom, Andy, Sleepy, and Doc waving at me. Since the ceremony hadn't started yet, I decided I should go over and say a quick 'hello'.
"Hey mom. Hey Andy. Hi guys. What's up?" I asked greeting my family. YES, my family. I've finally accepted the fact that I should call them my family.
"Hey honey! Oh my God, my baby girl has grown up so quickly!" she said her voicing breaking up a bit after the second sentence. Oh brother. I went up to mom and gave her an enormous hug and said in her ear "Don't worry mom. I'll always be your baby girl, even when I'm 80 years old." She giggled a little and said "Okay, sweetie."
When I turned to Andy, he put his hand out and said "Put er here girl!" So I gave him that much-wanted handshake (yeah right) and pulled him into a hug while whispering into his ear "Thanks for everything." And then giving him one last meaningful squeeze, I let go. To say he looked shocked would be an understatement. He was kind of speechless and had a stunned expression on his face.
I turned around to face the guys and each gave them a hug as well.
After that little sappy moment, I said "Well, I better get going. See you guys later." With that, I turned around and went to catch up with Adam and CeeCee. But guess who I ran into instead. You got it: none other than Paul Slater.
Great.
"If you don't mind Paul, I'd like to catch up CeeCee and Adam." However, he didn't budge. Damn it, what do I have to do to get him out of the way? Get on my knees or something? Sheesh.
Um, that came out the wrong way.
Eww . . .
"Paul, move it."
"Why? I mean, you don't tell me what to do."
"Because if you don't, I'm going to have to hurt you. Now, make like a shoe and get to stepping. Got it?"
"Um, no."
"God Paul, can you be at least the tiniest bit considerate and leave me alone for once?"
"Fine. But all I wanted to tell you was that I'm going to miss you after this is all over. Hell, maybe I'll get lucky and bump into you again sometime, soon . . ." he said a bit conspicuously, stressing the word 'soon' a little.
And with that, he turned around and walked over to where Brad, Kelly, her posse, and some other fat-headed jocks were standing near the stage against the wall.
Hmm, maybe he's changed after that incident at my house (the one where he got his nose broken) . . .
Nah.
I bet he's got something under his sleeve. It was way too fishy the way he said that.
Hmm, was there some secret meaning behind that . . .
While pondering this, I walked over to Adam and CeeCee to see what they were up to.
"No, Adam, Pamela Anderson's boobs are not real, for the last time. Now would you please quit asking me?"
"But how do you know. I mean, did you get to take gander at them or something?"
"No, Adam. I'm not a lesbian. They're just too big to be real. Unlike a certain other person's genitals . . ."
"Hey! I'll let you know from this day forward that my baseballs are authentic. And my bat as well, thank you very much."
"Yeah, right, Adam! Not even Dr. Phil can help you in this case!"
"How do you know, Cee? You want to see?"
"No, Adam. I'm not desperate like you are. I actually have a life."
Wow, this conversation is very stimulating.
"Hey you guys, if you could stop discussing Adam's xxx-small genitals for a moment, I think the ceremony is about to begin", I stated indiscriminately. Well, that sure stopped they're bickering. CeeCee, looking a bit triumphant, Adam, looking a tad bit appalled, and I, having a smug-looking expression on my face, walked along to the west side of the stage and to our places, like we did during all those Saturday rehearsals.
CeeCee was all the way in the back, Adam was in the center, and I was in the between the middle and the end of the line, in front of Dean Simpson and in back of Torrie Simmons. We were aligned in ABC-order. Luckily, Paul was a couple seniors away from me. Not many, but still. At least he wasn't behind me bothering me as per usual. Thank God I wasn't going to be stuck with for much longer. I had no idea how that would come back to bite me in the ass.
-0-
After the graduation ceremony was finished, my mom and Andy announced that they had a surprise for me. Namely, a cruise. Mom and Andy came up to my room and told me all about it. They said we needed to get to the airport at 10:00 p.m. to be able to board the flight at midnight and reach Miami on schedule, so I packed my bag at lightning-fast speed and made it downstairs at 9:30 p.m. Of course, not before saying bye to Jesse.
Apparently, he didn't want to come and, quote: 'You need some alone time, querida, and not some pesky ghost like me following you around everywhere you go. Have fun, be safe, and remember that I love you and that I'll miss you. Now go before you miss your flight.' Then he quickly kissed me goodbye and pushed me out the door. No, not how Paul pushes me against the wall to attempt to kiss me. He gently pushed me out.
You're probably wondering why I need to go on a plane. Well, maybe not, but I'll tell you anyway.
This cruise I'm going on is one that is very fancy and not to mention à la mode. It's called the "Odyssey". But it's only available in Miami, Florida. So, I have to fly over to Miami and board the cruise from a dock that's there. It's that good. How Andy and mom found out about it will always be a mystery to me.
And while I'm on the 2-week cruise, mom and Andy will be spending some 'alone time' together, if you get what I mean; and the boys will, be driving around doing whatever the hell they want, basically. Well, all except for Doc. He's still a minor. Sleepy and Dopey will be in charge of taking care of him.
Plus, they said they had 3 more surprises for me but that I'd find out right before I ship sail.
Everyone had already packed their bags and Max was in the neighbors' care, so we were set to go. We boarded a taxi van and headed to the airport.
Once at the airport, Andy paid off the bill and we soon afterwards entered thru the automatic main doors. Just as when I first came to this airport, it was still nice and calm. No people arguing with the employees like in New York. No graffiti spray painted onto the walls. Nothing was gray and murky. Still the same pastel-painted walls and the same old cheery, positive faces greeting the customers.
We didn't have to wait too long to go thru the metal detector to get our bags and ourselves checked. Mom went first, followed by Andy, Doc, Dopey, and Sleepy. I was last. I put my black Coach purse and my black JanSport mini backpack (can you tell that I like black?) in the container on the table and walked under it. As I went thru, the damn thing beeped.
Perfect.
This ugly smelly chick who was supposed to be the guard pushed a container across the table that was in between these two metal detectors in my general direction and said, "Take off any jewelry that's metal, empty out your pockets of anything that contains metal, and remove any other metallic items, please". Whoa, her voice was deeper than Paul's. And that's saying something. Apparently her name was Sally. Yeah, right . . .
And why does she keep looking at me like that? . . .
Oh my God, is that thing a hermaphrodite!
Suze?
Ew.
Either way, I did as 'it' told me to. I removed my watch, ring, bracelet, hoop earrings, necklace, belt, anklet, and small change. Once again, I passed thru the damn thing, and the dumb shit started beeping again. Damn it! We'll never make it to our flight.
"Come with me, little lady", said Sally in this incredibly husky voice. And not in that sexy way Paul or Jesse does after a really steamy make-out session.
Um . . . ix-nay the Paul-say.
As Sally grabbed my wrist with her exceptionally large, man-like hand and pulled me towards this solitary door on the wall (probably leading to a room), I turned my head and gave my mom a fleeting, hopeless look of helplessness. All she did was shrug and motioned with her hands for me to just go. So I did, unwillingly though.
Sally scanned her I.D. card on this scanner on the wall next to the door and stepped in after the door automatically unlocked itself. The room was painted gray everywhere and completely vacant, except for this silver metal desk pushed up against the corner of the wall.
"Step up to the table and spread em", Sally ordered me to do.
Oh, no.
"Are you going to like frisk me or something?" I asked horrified.
Eww . . .
Sally feeling my body . . .
Sick I tell ya.
SICK.
Ugh.
"Not with my hands. Just with this handheld metal detector."
Oh, thank the Lord! There is a God!
"Okay." So I leaned over on the table and spread my arms out evenly as Sally quickly did a once-over with the metal detector and luckily, it didn't beep.
"Well, it seems to be that the metal detector out there has a bug. You're free to go."
"Oh, ok. Thanks." After it turned its back, I did my happy dance and thanked the Lord that the herm didn't make a move on me.
"Hey, wait a sec there. Let me ask ya somethin'.
Oh, boy.
Cringing a bit at the thought of what Sale will ask me, I said, "Yes?" in the politest voice I could muster at the moment.
"Girl, how do you get your hair so soft lookin'? I've been tryin' to get my hair to look that good for ages. I've tried everythin' in the markets and on infomercials but nothin' seem to work. Can ya' tell me ya' secret?"
Oh. That's it? Thank GOD!
"Um . . . I don't know. Maybe I should just get going now."
"Aw! Purdy please?" God, it really was desperate.
"Oh, alright." I said oh-so-enthusiastically.
NOT. Ugh.
"All I do is I wash my hair with L'Oreal Smooth & Sleek Shampoo and L'Oreal Smooth & Sleek Conditioner. Then I just blow-dry it straight using a round brush with extra-strong bristles and if it comes out a little on the puffy side, I dab some John Frieda Secret Weapon Hair Smoother on the dry spots and then it's nice and smooth. Is that good enough?" I asked impatiently.
"Yeah, that'll do. Thank ya', darlin'! You could leave now."
At least it didn't want a hand job or a blow job or anything like that.
Eww . . .
After leaving the room, putting my stuff back on, grabbing my purse, and meeting up with the gang, my mom asked "How did it go?"
"Not bad. It didn't frisk me with its hands or anything. So I'm back, alive."
"And just when I thought life was goin' good for me", Brad said mockingly.
Dumb ass. I should totally stick him in his Adam's apple for talking shit. But instead, I settled for giving him a death glare.
That shut him up pretty darn quick.
Hurriedly, we made our way to Gate 12, where our shuttle was at.
Whoa. There are at least like 40-something people in line for this flight. At least we won't be the only one's late for our flight.
Anyone can totally get lost here. It would be as easy as pie. Speaking of pie, I'm kind of hungry . . .
"Hey mom, can I go to the vending machine that's right there?"
"Sure honey. But make it quick."
"Okay."
With my purse and JanSport in possession, I walked over to a vending machine a couple of meters away and started to dig around in my Coach purse for my matching Coach wallet (also in black) and dug out two dollar bills. Did I mention, Andy and mom gave me $500 in cash, deposited another 500 bucks in each of my newly-acquired savings account and checking account in a Wachovia bank, and a MasterCard debit card? (A/N: The author of this story is totally hating on Suze right now . . .)
Oh, so many decisions. There's your Twix bars, there's your Butterfinger bars, there's your Reese's peanut butter cups, and then there's your Whatchamacallit bars (A/N: That is, in fact, the name of this really tasty chocolate bar. So, yes, it does exist, for those of you who were wondering. I didn't pull that one out of my bungholio! D). Now, who can resist those?
After pondering it over for like 5 minutes, I decided to go with three Whatchamacallits (what can I say? I'm a chocolate devotee) and a bottle of Diet Pepsi (a girl's got to maintain her figure somehow when after she pigs out on chocolate. Plus, Diet Coke is totally nasty). (A/N: So, so true . . .)
After walking back to the area where the gates were located, I couldn't remember the gate number.
Oh boy.
I looked around at each gate to see if mom and the gang were in sight, but unluckily, I couldn't spot them any where.
Dammit.
Let's hope Lady Luck is with me tonight. I'll have to go with Gate 12.
-0-
Man, this plane is pretty damn high-class!
In each seat were a wool blanket and a complimentary pillow with a German chocolate stacked on it wrapped in a gold wrapper and some German trademark on it.
Nice.
I could certainly get used to these first-class shuttles.
Uh oh.
No sight of mom or Andy or anyone.
I better get off this plane as is my ass were on fire for my sake. I quickly rushed to leave but the steward stopped me.
"Please take your seat miss."
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I can't do that. I need to get off this flight."
"Why is that?"
"Because I'm on the wrong plane!" I'm seriously losing my patience with this stupid jerk.
"But the plane is about to take off. I'm sorry, but you need to take a seat."
"No! I need to find my family, so move it, bub!"
"Miss, please calm down and take a seat. The plane will take off in exactly 5 minutes", he said while glancing at his watch. His name is Jason.
"Look, buster, if you don't move out of my way in the next 5 seconds, the only thing that will be flying is you; so let me through, and let me through NOW", I growled at him.
"No can do miss. Well, you must be going on the right plane because you couldn't have gone through without being checked. So allow me see your ticket, please."
Angrily, I shoved it at him while saying "Make it quick."
After scanning through it, he said "Oh, gosh. I'm sorry ma'am. You were right. You are on the wrong plane. If I were you I'd get to your shuttle and quick. It's probably about to take off any second now."
"You see, that would be nice if I knew which flight I was on in the first place!" I huffed angrily.
"Um, miss. It says it on your ticket."
Oh.
I took the ticket from his hands and examined it speedily.
"Oh . . . I didn't know that." I was actually supposed to go through Gate 12. Heh.
Hey, don't look at me that way! At least I was close. Don't I get some brownie points for that?
Ugh.
I ran passed Jason, out of the plane, and out the gate.
Okay, now where the hell is that gate. I looked to my left.
Nothing.
I looked to my right.
Bull's eye.
It must have been at least 15 meters away. Damn.
So, if Jaws were on my tail, I hauled ass to Gate 13, ran through it and towards the plane, and shoved everyone who was standing in line aside forcefully so that I could have enough room as I sprinted into the plane.
Awesome! I made it into the shuttle without a problem.
Wow. For once, something in my life doesn't go wrong.
"Hey hon! Come sit over here!" my mom said warmly while waving her hands for me to go sit where she was seated at.
"Hey Suze, what happened back there? The vending machine swallow you or something?" Andy asked jokingly.
"Yeah, it did. But then it spit me back out. It didn't like the way I tasted in its mouth," I shrugged. That got a laugh out of him.
Looking down at my ticket, I saw that my seat number was F13, right behind Andy and Mom near the front of the plane on the left side.
Man, these planes are pretty petite. Only one aisle in between 2 two-seated rows.
Thankfully, Doc had no one sitting by him in the window seat there so maybe I could squeeze myself in. Window seats are the best and are totally my favorite. The views are awesome.
"Hey Doh- I mean David. Can I seat in the window seat next to you?"
"Sure, Suze. I don't like the window seats because they make me get very lightheaded."
"Oh, okay. I'll be happy to make you, um, un-lightheaded, I guess."
Wow, I'm stupid.
"Gee, thanks Suze! You're so considerate. I sure am going to miss you after you're gone."
"Aw, thanks, little guy!" I hope I don't start to tear up. God knows I've been crying more often.
Slipping into the seat next to him, I saw that, just like on the other plane, there was the same complimentary pillow with the wool blanket and fancy chocolate. Only this one was Swiss.
Yum!
Fastening my seatbelt, I waited for the plane to take off.
Over the speaker came this voice:
"Hello everyone and welcome aboard American Airlines first class shuttle. I am Ray Walters, your pilot-"
"And I am Ben McKenzie, your co-pilot!" this young-sounding guy said cheerfully.
"Thank you for that introduction, Benjamin." Ray said with a hint of sarcasm.
"Why, you're welcome Raymond!" Ben retorted back.
"Anyway, we will be flying you today to your destination of Miami, Florida. Please fasten your seatbelts correctly everyone, sit properly in your chairs, and hold on tight, because we're about to take off." Ray continued.
"And don't forget: Enjoy the flight! Our stewards and stewardesses will be walking down the aisle to assist you in anything you need!" Ben finished off joyfully. Geez, that guy's a perky one.
After that weird announcement, the plane went through the normal turns and stuff and afterward speed up and off into the sky.
During the whole plane ride, I couldn't help but think of what Paul said during the ceremony.
'. . . run into you sometime again, soon'
Ew, creepy.
But somehow, I doubted he'd follow me out to the Caribbean. I don't think he's that much of a sociopath.
And for the weirdest reason, I feel that someone's following me. You know, like 'Big brother's watching you.'
I quickly turned around to see if any one was actually staring at me, but just found a bunch of people listening to their walkmans, watching movies on their portable DVD players, reading magazines, talking to the person seated next to them, or just knocked out.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
The one bad thing about flying on a plane is that it can get BORING.
I decided to take my own walkman out of my JanSport and listen to my new Mariah Carey C.D.
It's boring . . .
So boring . . .
Very boring . . .
Still boring . . .
Did I mention it's very boring? . . .
I wonder if it's possible that someone can die of boredom . . .
Ugh.
Maybe I'll let my mind wander a bit.
Hmm, these pillows are really soft . . .
Jesse's lips are soft . . .
And pink, too . . .
I like the color pink . . .
My room is pink . . .
Paul's room is gray . . .
And it's constantly cold in there, too . . .
Just like his room, his eyes are always cold . . .
Yet, his body temperature is pretty much always warm . . .
His hands are always really warm, too . . .
They're never cold like mine . . .
They're pretty large . . .
Like his feet, I noticed . . .
I wonder if that feet thing applies to Paul . . .
You know. If a guy has big feet and big hands he's supposed to have a big dih-
OH MY GOD!
Eww . . .
Okay, my mind wandered a little too far there.
What the hell is wrong with me!
God . . .
I feel like someone's smirking at me.
I turned my head around and promptly scanned the shuttle. Some guy sitting not many rows away was smirking but I couldn't tell if he was smirking at me. His Ray Bans were shielded his eyes so I couldn't tell if I was the one he was smirking at.
Wait. Staring more closely at him, he's kind of looking down and I see the corner of his magazine popping out of the aisle.
Ha! He saw that I caught him red-handed in the act so he's trying to give it off as if he was looking at his magazine the whole time
Hmph. Weirdo.
He doesn't look too familiar. Just his RayBans. And his tanned skin, too. And his curly brown hair. Hmm, that smirk . . . Where have I seen that smirk? . . .
Whatever. It's not like it's Paul. Now that would be traumatizing.
I might as well take short nap. It's going to be a long day ahead.
-0-
I woke up to the sound of Doc saying "Wake up, Suze! We landed already. Come on! Rise and shine!"
The fact that I had slept through an entire plane ride and the landing as well is beyond me.
As I stuffed my walkman and C.D. back into my JanSport mini and grabbed my purse, I once again had the feeling that someone was ogling me.
Almost everyone had gotten off the plane, except for us ('us' meaning my family).
Wait a sec.
Someone sitting down a couple of rows away just ducked lower behind the seat in front of him, pretending to look for something.
The same guy from earlier.
Dude, talk about creepy.
I didn't feel like saying something to the guy since he looks pretty innocent. Sure, he looks pretty big in size (probably my same age) but he looks like he couldn't help himself. I'll let it slide.
Besides, he looks pretty hot behind those RayBans. Actually, really hot. He's super tan and his curly brown hair is tied back. I guess to keep it out of his eyes. And he's got this beard-mustache-connection thingy (I think that's called a goatee) that made him look mature, yet he has that mysterious-bad boy sort of quality to him down pat.
The more I think about, he looks a lot like Paul . . .
But it can't be him. I mean, I didn't even know I was going on this trip. How could he? It's not he talks to mom or Andy or anything.
Anyway, looks like someone's interested in lil' ol' Suzie-Poo but seems too shy to admit it.
Sure sounds like someone I know.
Don't worry; I won't point any elbows, Jesse.
Pfft.
And, hell, of course that guy should be interested! I mean, I am hotter than the Sun, after all!
Yeah, and Michael Jackson is, in fact, 'not guilty'.
Sure, bob. Keep on thinking that, people.
Ignoring that guy, I stepped out of the plane with mom, Andy, and the guys to head to where the bag pick-up area was at.
After getting our stuff, we walked outside to the rental car. It was a green 2005 Mitsubishi Eclipse. Not bad.
And this time, I had my RayBans handy in my JanSport. As sunny as it was in California, it was in Florida. That was a known fact.
It was now 8 'o' clock in the morning; right on time.
As we drove away from the Miami International Airport, I finally began to notice my surroundings.
Whoa. There were palm trees everywhere. Short, tall, fat, and thin. There wasn't a cloud in the bright, blue sky.
But the humidity seriously sucks ass over here. Man, I'm already starting to sweat a little bit. But I don't mind it that much. There's plenty of it in Carmel, that's for sure.
And there are tons of people here, too. There designer stores and boutiques at every corner, posh restaurants, costly hotels, and really hot guys walking with only a pair of swimming trunks. This is heaven!
But, of course, I'm devoted to Jesse, my one true love; who didn't want to come along with me.
Traitor . . .
Soon, we arrived at a part of Miami called Miami Beach, where the best clubs, restaurants, hotels, and boutiques are. Not to mention the most expensive as well. The wealthy folks obviously lived here. All I saw were Beamers, Mustangs, Ferraris, Escalades, Hummers, BMW's, Jaguars, Porsches, and tons of other convertibles and fancy sports cars.
And the houses were gigantic! There were loads of Victorian beauties, modern splendors, majestic dwellings, and what not. These monstrosities had to merit beyond price.
Paul would totally fit in.
Ugh.
Egotistical jerk-off. I hope I never had to see him ever again in my life.
As we neared the dock, I saw that there weren't many people on the dock waiting to board the cruise. In fact, there must've only been like 150 people.
The cruise was a pretty hefty, unlike the plane. But nevertheless, it was a beauty. This ship was no cheapy. It was donned in white completely with a slender, gold streak near the rim of the deck and had a big gold emblem, representing its name "Odyssey". The floor is made of wood with a fine pine finish. So far, all the people look like rich college students. Andy and mom made a good selection.
"Well, here we are", Andy announced, parking the car. Andy, Sleepy, and Dopey all helped get my bags out while mom and I walked ahead gazing around at our surroundings. Just like when I first went to Carmel for my permanent stay. Ah, good memories.
We all walked towards the wooden walkway where everyone is supposed to board the ship.
"Well, this is it honey!" My mom squealed excitedly.
"I know!" I exclaimed in a voice similar to hers. "I love the cruise you guys picked out!" Man, this tone of voice I'm using is unhuman! It sounds nothing like the normal me.
"Ah hah! We'd thought you'd like it!" Andy said. These guys have got awesome taste in cruises!
At that moment, the captain of the cruise came up to the top of the walkway. He had on a white marine suit and a white hat with the visor in black.
"Hello there, everyone! I am Captain Thomas Warner, your captain for our voyage! We will be shipping off in exactly-" he checked his watch "-25 minutes. So you have time before we ship off to take your bags on up to your rooms and say bon voyage to your family! Now, chop chop everyone!" And with that, he wandered off to some other part of the cruise.
"Well, you heard the man, let's get to it!" mom said excitedly. And with that, the guys (being only Andy, Sleepy, and Dopey) hoisted the bags onto their shoulders and led the way to my room, room being number 666, the last room, and on the top floor; there's 5 floors, according to mom.
Walking up the boardwalk and onto the cruise floor, we made our way to the lobby.
Whoa.
There were sliding glass door greeting me at the entrance, as well as, lustrous green plants full of life surrounding the area, cheerful and friendly faces behind the reception desk, gold and burgundy carpeted floor featuring small white silhouettes of dolphins in the air above the water and the emblem of the cruise in the middle, and a glass elevator behind a cascading water fountain, the same elevator we were about to board to reach the fourth floor to my room where my 'surprises' were at.
As we passed each floor, I intently looked at each passing floor. All contained the same carpeted floor as the lobby.
The second and third floors were all occupied with rooms. The fourth floor was the food court. According to Andy, there were more than 40 restaurants, from a retro 50's-styled restaurant where the waiters skate around as they order and serve food to the customers at their red Cadillac booths to a Benni Hanna-styled restaurant complete with 40 cooking tables where the chefs prepare the food before your eyes. Awesome!
Finally, we reached the fifth floor. The same carpets as the first 3 floors and the same baby yellow-colored walls as well. The plants are there, too. But here there were only two doors. Um, okay . . .
Besides the two doors, there was the movie theater, salon, bowling alley, pool and recreational area, casino, nightclub, and the auditorium where live performances would be held.
When the elevator came to a full stop, we all filed out neatly and walked to the door marked 666 all the way at the end of the hall. Why aren't there any more doors?
Finally, we came to a full stop. Andy handed me the card to open my door and I took it, swiping it through the little machine next to the door knob on the right. When did he get that? Probably at the front desk while I wasn't paying attention.
When the light on the black transaction mechanism turned green, I opened the door.
. . . Wow . . .
Am I seeing things? Let me rub my eyes just for assurance.
Okay, I rubbed my eyes and they weren't deceiving me as I had thought.
DUDE, MY ROOM IS A FREAKING PENT HOUSE! HOW THE HELL DID MOM AND ANDY AFFORD THIS!
Quickly turning around to face mom and Andy, I gave them a semi-questioning, semi-bewildered look.
"What the hell is this!"
"It's your room, sweetie" my mom explained happily. "Only the best for my little Suzie Q.!"
"God, mom, why'd you go through all the trouble? I'm not worth it."
"Yes, you are Suze. Now, don't be so modest and take a gander for yourself. I bet you'll like it!" Andy said, waving his hand for me to go in.
So I did as he said. I walked in, mesmerized by the intense luxury of it all. This was totally sweet! There was a huge king-sized mattress there with gold and burgundy striped pillows and pillow cases, cream-colored sheets, a gold and burgundy striped percale comforter, and a matching bedskirt all placed on a maple/natural pine finish frame. I guess ol' Captain Warner's fave colors are gold and burgundy.
"Is this my surprise? That my is a pent house?" I asked them.
"Well, it's your first surprise. Here's your second one", Andy said, handing me some kind of ticket, like a passport.
"What's this?"
"That's your ticket to get back on the cruise!" my mom explained with delight.
"Why would I need a ticket to get back on the cruise when I'm already on it?" I inquired.
"Well, because once the 1st week of the cruise is over, you'll be arriving in the capital of Puerto Rico, San Juan. You'll stay there for two weeks, and then you'll be back here after your little expedition is over. You'll be needing this ticket-" -mom said adding with a point of her finger to the ticket-"to get back on board. Well, do you like your surprises so far honey?"
I am officially vocally impotent.
My mouth agape, I managed to stutter out "Whuh – wh- what's the third surprise?"
For some reason, I had a bad feeling in my stomach about this trip. Not like it's going to hit an iceberg like in "Titanic" but more like something shocking is going to be my third surprise. I don't know, you could call it instinct or mother's intuition or an impulse in my gut.
"Well, Suzie, I know what you're going to say, but please, at least hear me out." my mom said nervously. Uh oh. Not a good sign.
"Um . . . okay . . ."
"And I just want to let you know, I was at all no part of your mother's little scheme. So blame her." Andy accused. Oh, boy. I'm def not liking the sound of this . . .
"Well, honey . . . I picked out a roommate for you to spend your trip with . . ."
Oh, no . . . I hope it's not Paul . . .
Nah. I'm just thinking crazy thoughts. Yeah! That's it! I'm just being pessimistic. It's probably CeeCee! Whoo! I can't believe I actually thought for a second that it was-
"Paul Slater."
. . . No . . .
"This has to be a joke! You have got to be kidding me! I mean, it is joke, right? A sick and twisted joke, right? Right? RIGHT! RIGHT!" I asked, my voice raising a few octaves higher with each "Right".
OhGodOhGodOhGodOhGodOhGod . . .
Oh, man. Oh, lordy. Aw, jeez. Oh, God.
"Suzie, I'm serious. Paul Slater is going to accompany throughout your whole trip."
"ARE YOU SERIOUS!"
"I told you this was a bad idea, Amy!" (A/N: Amy being Suze's mom's name.)
"Oh, Suzie, honey! I'm so sorry! It was an accident! I swear I didn't know you didn't like this boy! I thought you did!"
My mind racing a million thoughts per second, I thought of all the possibilities of why my mom would be so cruel as to ruin my whole bon voyage trip by making Paul Slater my roomie throughout the whole time.
I exploded. "Mom, are you NUTS! WHO THE HECK TOLD YOU I WANTED TO SPEND MY WHOLE GOING-AWAY TRIP WITH THAT SCUMBAG!"
"Well, Paul did."
Oh, man . . . I'm going to kill him . . .
"WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?"
"Well, don't ask me. Ask him. He's right behind you."
I rapidly turned around and saw for myself that Paul, indeed, was standing right behind me, in all his arrogant proximity.
"Top of the mornin' to ya'!" he said pleasantly.
"You", I snarled at him ferociously. I am NOT happy at the moment.
"Well, hello to you, too, Suze."
At that moment, Captain Warner came over the P.A. system.
"Well, we are about to ship sail in approximately 10 minutes. Anyone not traveling with us please dislodge out the cruise immediately. Thank you."
"Well, you heard the man! We should get going now. Love you, Suzie, have a safe trip, and we love you-" then my mom broke off and leaned in, whispering "-and remember: use a condom!" Then, before I could utter a comeback, she gave me a quick hug, a peck on the cheek, and shooed everyone out the room. The boys all yelled out their goodbyes.
"Bye Suze! I'm going to miss you!"
"Later Suze. Finally got rid of you! OW! Hey! What was that for!"
"For acting stupid, Bradley! Now say you're sorry and say good-bye correctly."
"Ugh. Bye, Suze."
"That's more like it. See you soon Suze."
"Bye, Suzie Q.! I love you honey!" Yeah, riiight . . . "And don't forget to call me on my cell if you need to tell me anything!" Then the door slammed shut, leaving me alone with Satan's Spawn for THREE WHOLE FREAKING WEEKS! ARGH!
JUUUSSST GREAT
"Well, surprise!" Paul exclaimed. I kept on with my glower of fatality. "Well, Suze, just look at it this way: I had a fortunate coincidental run-into with my favorite person – none other than Suze Simon!" I can't believe this asshole is grinning! He thinks this is funny!
This is SO NOT FUNNY! And this isn't a surprise, for that matter. Surprises are good and nice and pleasant. This was SO not! And it's not coincidental, either. An unaccidental run-into is more like it
-0-
Well, you guys, There ya go. If you likey, please tell me in your nice, LONG reviews or if you have anything you'd like to comment on, suggestions, you get the picture!
If there were mistakes, I'm really sorry. It's just that my editor Chris is on vacation and I really wanted to post it! (When she finds out I posted without letting her know or edit, she's going to hang me! So, hush hush! And if you're reading this, Chris: Sorry!), Plus, I'm really tired and I didn't feel like reading over the whole thing and editing it. It's like 11 at night down here. A girl needs her beauty sleep, you know?
And please, if you're going to burn me or my chappie, politeness por favor!
And I'll update A.S.A.P. if I get lotsa long reviews with constructive criticism! P
Much love.
Jassy
(The Horndoggy!)
