Kneazles and Crups
"Mum?"
"Mum's busy," said Ron Weasley, as his daughter squinted down at her book. "Can I help you?"
"Maybe," she said, riffling through to the page where she had stopped reading. "I don't understand this book. But it's a Muggle book, so maybe you wouldn't either."
"Hey, I can understand Muggle books! What's going on?"
"This chapter," she said, handing it over. "It said it was raining cats and dogs. But it's a book without any magic so far. Do they really think dogs and cats fall from the sky when it rains?"
Ron quickly scanned the paragraph in question. "It's just a saying. It doesn't actually mean there are dogs and cats-it's just a way of saying it was raining really hard."
"Why don't they say "it was raining really hard"?"
"Maybe because they think that would be boring."
"Why do they even need to talk about the rain?"
"Well-it's a story book, right? Not non-fiction?"
"No, it's a story."
"Maybe that's important to the plot. That the characters would have gone outside and done something otherwise, but they can't because it's raining. Why don't you keep reading and find out?"
"No one's doing anything. They're just sitting around and talking."
"Hmm. Maybe-maybe the writer just wants to make people think about rain. Maybe it's supposed to show that the characters are sad."
"If the characters are sad, how come she doesn't say that? Or have them crying?"
"Maybe she thinks that's boring."
"So she just talks about the weather instead? That seems silly."
Ron lowered his voice. "Don't tell your mum, but I think it's silly too."
"Are there cats and dogs in that book?" Hugo interrupted. "I want to read it too."
"You can read it when I'm done," said Rose, "and no, no pets."
"How come she always gets to read books first?"
"Because she reads them faster," said Ron, "that way there's less time watiing."
"Why were you talking about animals?"
"Because apparently when it rains really hard it rains cats and dogs."
"Cats and dogs aren't watery, though. It should be raining Kelpies and Kappas."
Ron snorted. "This is a Muggle book."
"Fish and whales, then."
"Wizards never talk about raining Kneazles and Crups," said Rose. "Muggles are just silly."
"There are silly wizard books too," said Ron.
"Well, some are silly on purpose. I mean stupid books."
"Unfortunately, there are stupid wizard books too."
"But aren't there Muggle books with magic in them?" Hugo pressed on. "People just guessing about wizards?"
"Yeah," said Rose, "that's what I thought took. But this isn't even one of those. Just dumb people."
"We should write a story. We can have lots of things coming down in the rain. Sea serpents and grindylows!"
"Why would you want to write about sea serpents falling from the sky? They'd destroy everything."
"Naw, they wouldn't, they'd just not have any water so they'd die. Or, some Aurors or somebody could come to the rescue and kill 'em."
"Why would Aurors have to come kill a sea serpent?"
"Well, whoever you'd get."
"Nobody would come to kill a sea serpent because sea serpents don't live on land. They live in the sea. That's where they get the name."
"That's why it would be a story."
"Okay, well, you can go write it, I'm reading this book now."
"I can't write it, Mum's in using the computer."
"You should write with a quill."
"Quills are slow. And messy."
"You're going to have to use quills at Hogwarts," said Ron.
"Yeah, and that's dumb. Rose, come on, let's work together on it. You come up with good ideas."
"Yeah, because you get bored halfway through and I have to finish by myself," Rose shot back.
"You don't have to do anything."
"That's enough, you two," Ron cut in. "Rose, are you going to keep reading your book?"
"Okay," she shrugged, trotting off to her room. Hugo, in spite of himself, reached for a quill, parchment, and several inkwells, deciding that a proper introduction to the dangerous Land Serpents required illustrations as well as text.
Barely ten minutes later, he was dipping his quill (still dripping with black ink) into the blue well, hoping to add further splashes of raindrops, and so absorbed in this process that he didn't notice Rose creeping past him. "Dad?"
"Yes, Rose?"
"What's it mean when it's snowing fit to beat the band?"
