AN:
Ok this is a total one-shot. Its just that I don't see many ShigurexTohru fics, and I think that Shigure loves her just as much as Kyo and Yuki. But obviously the age difference kind of gets in the way. So anyway, this is just a one shot, and I hope you like it.
Thoughts and Dreams
Love.
What is this word? What does it mean?
There are so many things associated with it, there are so many faces that I could put towards it. But there is one face that stands out against all others. One face that always spring from the deep places of my memory where I try to keep it locked and hidden.
I always hide my feelings, and I always lie to others. I really am evil. I always do things for self gain, I always ignore the warnings my friends give me and then I pass on the consequences to others. I haven't done it to her, I wont do it to her. And no matter what Akito says she can always stay here. As long as she wishes to. I almost lost her before, I almost failed her…I wont allow that to happen again.
Every time I see her it sends a spark right into my heart. It gives me goosebumps that will not go away no matter what I do. Love is a battlefield, and I am one of it's victims. She has injured me, she has hurt me…but not through her own doing. The only hurt that she has given me is Love. I know that this cannot be, this will never be. But still I dream and imagine. Still I wonder what it would be like to feel her skin against mine. I want to take her in my arms and tell her that everything is going to be alright.
But No, this Battlefield has been forgotten. The grass has grown and my love has been buried deep within it. I must hide it, and I must live in shame and fear. Fear that one day she might find out my secret.
She's sitting right across from me now, smiling happily. Yuki is always complimenting her cooking, every time I try I mess it up and make her feel un-comfortable, awkward and embarrassed. That is not what I wanted to do. I wanted to make her feel happy, just like Yuki and Kyo both do. I know, I can see it in her eyes.
The ink on the pages of my mind are not visble and so can never be read. I alone hold the key to the code that will unlock those words. And there is only one person alive I would ever give that code to. And so I live in fear. Fear that Tohru will find out my secret.
He sits across from me and compliments me again. I don't deserve it I haven't done anything really. I am worried though, he hasn't spoken for a while and I'm scared that I might have offended him. Did I say something? DO something wrong? I hope not because every time I feel as though I've offended him, it hurts me inside.
It's funny really, because I think about him all the time. Sometimes I even dream about him. Silly huh? But its something that I can't help. Uo and Hana don't know, I'd never be able to tell them. Neither does Kyo and Yuki, they'd probably murder him. There protective like that.
But I can still dream.
I can still hope.
But as always I live in fear. Fear that Shigure might find out my secret
My secret…
My secret…
I'm in Love.
