Last Request
D. Gray-Man
Kanda x Alma
Spoilers to Chapter 190+
"Honestly," Komui let out a soft sigh, his dark eyes wavering behind his thin-framed glasses. "How old are they, five?"
The director of the Black Order sounded mildly annoyed, but the look on his face betrayed the strain of irritation in his voice. For those standing behind him, he sounded ever the serious superior, but for the person who happened to look at his face, could tell he was seconds away from bursting into tears.
"Alright you two!" His voice rose, shouting into the room from where he stood in the doorway. "Get up! You have a mission briefing in forty-five minutes in my office!"
In the bed nestled in the top left hand corner of the narrow room, Yu Kanda's raven eyes fluttered open. "Go to hell." He hissed out as he tried to turn on his side, putting his back to the door. His movements were little more than halted by the weight resting against him and when he tugged he felt the shift of the body next to him.
"Mmph, Yu…" Hot breath whiffed against his neck, making his hair curl and instantly those charcoal eyes snapped open.
He was wide awake now. Lifting his head, he stared down in disbelief at the young man practically laying on top of him. Komui, seeming satisfied one of them was up, moved out of the doorway and left them alone but Kanda had to somehow deal with another being in his bubble.
"Get off." He demanded to the sleeping form, but all he got out of that was a bit of wiggling and a grip that grew tighter. The man grabbed at the other's wrists, trying to pry him off, but he held tighter, like a leech. Finally, gritting his teeth, he brought his knee up and got a leg between them, landing his foot in the other's stomach. The intruder delatched himself but not before he rolled off the bed, taking the blankets with him.
Kanda shivered, his long curtain of blue hair shifting around him as he did so. He was in a tank top and a pair of baggy pants, but that didn't stop the frigid weather from creeping in. "What the hell were you thinking?" He demanded. "You have your own damn bed. GO SLEEP IN IT!"
The comforter wriggled and finally a pair of dark eyes peered out, flecks of blue in them shining like facets of a gem as they filled with tears. "B-But I just wanted to be with you…." He whimpered out, the blanket pulled around his face and body like a cloak to conceal him from the enraged and sleepy samurai.
A shot through the heart would have been more effective. Kanda just stared at the teary-eyed young man practically hiding from him and he grumbled a reply that was pretty much lost in the air between them. He ran his fingers through his bangs, standing up. "Get up, and go get dressed. You heard Komui…we have to be ready to go in forty-five minutes."
"Kay!" The blanket was thrown aside and the boy was up on his own.
Kanda turned to the wash tub in the corner of his room. He filled the bowl with some water and cleaned off his face, hardly paying attention to what was going on behind him. When he turned his head, to dry his face with the hand towel, he caught sight of the young man standing there getting dressed, or trying to, while the door was still open. He had pulled his shirt on and was trying to button it but his holes were all wrong and he was still flashing a good bit of himself to anyone who happened to walk by.
The swordsman felt his irritation level start to spike. "Alma." He called out flatly. Those dark blue eyes came up to stare at him, honestly completely clueless about the situation at hand. "Go close the door."
The boy craned his head back and then gave a nod and bound over to it, closing it shut, but not before flashing the whole entire outside world in the process.
Kanda smacked his palm to his face. He surely had his work cut out for him. Stalking over, he grabbed a hold of Alma's shirt and deftly began to undo the buttons, his callous fingertips sliding over the ivory circles skillfully. The boy watched him with a bat of his eyes as he was disrobed, tilting his head as his shirt was fixed and then rebuttoned without missing a single hole.
"You suck at getting dressed." Kanda couldn't believe he was having to do this for a full-grown man.
"Y-Yeah…" Alma laughed nervously. "Edgar used to do it for me…I kinda forgot…"
The mention of that name made those dark eyes jump to the boy's face for a minute. No one ever said that name, yet it slipped out of Alma's mouth so easily that he was almost certain for a second there he had heard him wrong. "You better be watching." He snorted. "I'm not doing this next time." Pondering as to why this was going so smoothly in the first place he stared down at him. "Why are your clothes in my room anyway?"
"I brought them with me when I snuck in last night." Alma said proudly.
Kanda's dark gaze narrowed. "You're not a kid anymore. Tonight you're sleeping in your own room."
"No." Alma said defiantly, but the other man had walked away from him. "I wanna be-" he started, but was smacked in the face with a pair of pants that Kanda had noticed were sitting on the nearby desk.
"Shut up." His partner snapped. "And get dressed."
The boy was quiet after that, though the look on his face said he was clearly sulking. He had no problem putting on his pants, and after that pulled on his long black coat. He stared at the front of it carefully, undoing the buttons and then redoing them after he had slipped the coat on with a child-like innocence someone who had never experienced buttons could only have.
Kanda watched him as he threw on his own outfit, his dark eyes pinned on the young man. Alma was a lot like the samurai's fellow comrade, Allen. He was shorter then Kanda by a good four or five inches and his body was lean and slender. Those navy blue eyes were nearly too big for his face, unusual because they held an almond shape to them that usually defined Asian quality. His short raven hair was also an odd mix of black, purple and burgundy, that shown violet in some light and red in other. Some strands of that dark hair cascaded down to frame his face, nearly aligned with the horizontal scar that ran across the bridge of the boy's nose, a scar from the past that couldn't be erased.
Alma seemed oblivious to the look-over, still playing with the pins on his coat. It was only when Kanda stepped over to him, wearing an almost identical jacket, and pulling his long navy hair up in a ponytail, that the boy snapped his attention back to the other man in the room and gave a big smile. "I really like my coat." He replied happily.
A little too happy if you asked Kanda. He stepped past the young man and pulled open the door, giving a soft grunt as a reply before going past and out. He didn't have to really reply because seconds later he heard the door click shut and footsteps fell into place beside him.
Alma didn't know how to shut up and Kanda had become good at tuning him out, at least, for a little while. They headed down to the cafeteria, which was crawling this time of day with all kinds of people who worked for the Order; finders, exorcists, scientists from the technology department… the list went on and on. The noise in this area was excruciating and Kanda drew a deep breath in. Being here was probably the most irritating thing he would have to do all day.
"Allen!"
In a flash, Alma was gone, and Kanda cringed. Make that second most irritating thing he had to do all day.
Allen Walker looked up at the call of his name, gray eyes batting at the boy dashing over to him. He was stuffing his face full of some sort of sandwich and couldn't get in a word, but that hardly mattered when Alma pounced on him, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing tight.
Allen nearly suffocated before he got the sandwich down but he raised his hands and hugged the boy back. "Morning Alma." He said sheepishly, before his stormy hues turned and realized Kanda was standing there. The two men just stared at one another for a moment.
"Morning Beansprout." The samurai said finally, reaching over and prying Alma off of him.
The gray eyes narrowed and the boy glared at him. "My NAME is ALLEN."
"Beansprout?" Alma blinked, looking between the two. "Who's a beansprout?"
"Walker." Kanda muttered.
"I AM NOT!" Allen was on his feet by this point, very much ready to defend himself.
"I don't get it." Alma peered at Allen, tilting his head.
"It's kinda like Yu's nickname for the kid," A familiar voice spoke up, and a hand came down on Allen's head, ruffling his short white hair.
"Lavi." Allen beamed up at the redhead, before turning and noticing that they had also been joined by the slender dark-haired girl. "Lenalee. Good morning."
"Don't call me Yu." Kanda was glaring at Lavi.
"So, you're Alma, huh?" Lenalee was looking over the newcomer. "I'm Lenalee." She said with a smile.
Alma had been quiet for the past couple of minutes, looking at the two exorcists who had come to join them. His hands clenched into fists and he glared at both of them. "I don't care who you are," he told Lenalee before staring up at Lavi. "And you can't call Yu by his first name… only I can!" He demanded, before he turned and walked away.
Kanda gave a shrug, as if he had half been expecting that, and followed after him, leaving the three shocked exorcists standing there in silence.
"Man, what a brat!" Lavi was the first to recover, running his fingers through his crimson hair.
"He's not really like that." Allen told them. Besides Kanda, he was probably the only other person who really 'knew' Alma. "He's just not used to people being so accepting of him. All he's ever had is Kanda." He smiled sheepishly. "Give him some time….he'll come around."
"Hey," Kanda spoke up as they stood in line to place their orders for food. "If you really meant what you said, then stop crying about it."
Alma sniffed, wiping at his eyes. "I really didn't mean to be mean…" He whimpered out, the tears still coming. "I…. I just…"
A hand found his, and gave a squeeze and Alma looked back at him. Kanda looked the same as ever, but the fact that he had grabbed his meant that he knew….knew that Alma was deathly afraid of opening up to new people, because he didn't want to get hurt.
"Oh mmmmyyyyy~" The voice that echoed over them made the samurai wince. "What can I get you boys this morning?"
"The usual, Jerry." Kanda said flatly, jerking his hand away from Alma.
Alma stared up at the very colorful, dark-skinned man behind the counter, at a loss of what to say.
"What would you like to eat, little one?" He cooed down at the boy.
"I can have anything?" Alma's eyes widened.
"Mm-hmm, anything you want, sweetheart." Jerry replied in the same coaxing voice.
Alma's face lit up. "I want cotton candy!"
Kanda glared over at him, but when he realized Alma wasn't about to stop there, he clamped a hand over his mouth. "Give the idiot some pork buns and some soup, and call it a day."
"Kanda don't be so mean!" Jerry whined, but fulfilled his request anyway, handing the exorcists plates of steaming food. He went to the back and came back up with a lollipop. "It's not cotton candy darling, but it tastes like it. Here you go."
Alma beamed. "Thank you very much!"
"This is really good." The boy said, his mouth full of candy as he headed down the hall with Kanda after breakfast. "Yu, you wanna try it?"
"I don't want anything that's already been in your mouth." He said flatly, completely disinterested.
Komui's office was a sea of paperwork and as usual, Komui himself was anywhere but his desk. He was leaning against the couch in the large spacious room, having a cup of coffee with another man there. The two were talking animatedly back and forth, while two other people stood around, donning Black Order coats.
Alma froze up in the doorway, but Kanda grabbed his wrist and pulled him in behind him, forcing him onwards.
"They're here." The soft voice that spoke belonged to the tall man in the corner, whose skin tone was nearly the color of his jacket. He gave the two a small smile in welcome that they didn't return.
Komui turned his head, and the conversation ended abruptly. "Good morning boys." He said brightly. He stepped closer, looking over the boy who was practically cowering behind Kanda. The samurai rolled his eyes, grabbed his partner by the scruff of his collar and pushed him forward so that Alma was standing alone in the middle of the room.
Komui could tell Alma was frightened; he tried to keep his head up and shoulders straight, but he was trembling, and it tightened at the young man's heart. "So, you must be Alma." He told him. He took a couple steps toward him and then held out his hand. "I'm Komui Lee."
Alma looked at his hand, and then back up at the man's face. Komui was impossibly tall, but he had kind eyes and a warm smile. He slowly crept forward, placing his hand in the larger one. "I know who you are."
Komui's eyes glinted and his smile became almost bitter. "That's good." He said softly. They gently shook hands before he turned to the gentleman he had been talking to, who had wildly curly hair that was pulled back in a ponytail at attempts to tame it. "This is General Tiedoll. Usually new exorcists train with a superior officer until their comfortable on their own. Generally teams are kept to a three-man cell with a General included, but due to your circumstances, we thought it best to keep you with Kanda."
"It's nice to meet you, Alma." Tiedoll smiled warmly at him, and Alma blinked at the older man before he fidgeted awkwardly.
"I…I'll do my best, sir." He stammered out, straightening up and saluting him.
"These are also your teammates, Marie, and Chaoji." Komui pointed out the other two men in the room. "Kanda is already well acquainted with these men. You all are to protect one another with your lives, you know that."
Alma blinked, his dark eyes taking in the others. Getting close to someone was going to take some time, but he knew what the 'protect with your life' meant. "I understand. It's nice to meet all of you." He bowed, his uniquely shaded hair falling in his eyes.
"Now that all the introductions are done," Komui's voice rose, becoming almost whimsical. "General Tiedoll, you've been assigned to look into a case where Innocence could be involved. I'd like you to take your entire team… it will be a good learning experience for all of them."
Alma complied with everything even though he literally held on to Kanda's coat tails… that was until they got to the lab where the Ark was being kept. The young man stopped dead in his tracks and refused to go any further.
"What's the hold up?" Kanda demanded, looking over his shoulder to where Alma was stock still in the doorway. The boy was nearly hiding against the corner of the wall, those dark blue eyes just barely peeking into the lab. With a sigh he marched back over to him.
"Y-Yu…" Alma swallowed, the emotion cracking in his voice. "I can't go in there."
"Why?" The tall young man demanded, looking into the lab as if there was something that might erupt from the floor and attack them.
"Bak's in there." Alma replied, his gaze pointing out the blonde-haired director. "And other people from the Asia Branch. I'm sure they all hate me."
Kanda's raven eyes narrowed. He grabbed Alma by the back of his collar and unceremoniously chucked him past the threshold of the door. The smaller exorcist tumbled across the metal floor before stopping splat in the middle of the lab and when he picked himself up, everyone was staring up at him.
Those already big blue eyes widened and everything in him stopped, petrified when he saw Bak's brown eyes light on him. He had never had anything against Bak specifically… only that when he had found out the truth about the Second exorcists, he had snapped and when that had happened, he had ended up murdering Edgar and Tui Chan, Bak's parents. Those had been horrible days, nightmares that Alma tried not to think about… he had turned on his best friend and the one person he loved in his madness and it had nearly cost him anything.
He couldn't blank it out when it was staring him plan in the face. Bak looked so much like Edgar that it was horrifying and Edgar had been the closest thing Alma could call a father. The two just stared at one another as if they were remembering the same thing at the same time, locked in night neither could forget. And then Bak did something unspeakable.
He walked over and offered Alma a hand up.
The boy's blue eyes blinked, and he stared up at him, unable to process anything, other than fear and utter confusion. Bak's face was still expressionless, but then a slow smile curved his handsome mouth. "Come on Exorcist, don't you have some place to be?"
The words, said in such a playful tone that couldn't be ignored, made the boy flinch. He reached out and took the Asia Director's hand and slowly got to his feet. "T-Thank you."
Bak pulled away, putting his back to him. "Good luck out there." He said, in a tone that couldn't be read, before he added. "Be careful."
Alma turned away too, his shoulders shaking, and found Kanda right there, watching him. The navy-haired samurai was also giving him an unreadable expression, but the boy knew him better than most… it was mostly Kanda's way of blocking out pain.
"W-Why…?" Alma whimpered as he started toward the Ark and away from Bak and the cluster of Order scientists. His eyes were quickly blurring over with tears he couldn't control. "I-I was s-so…"
"Let it go, idiot." Kanda breathed out. His hand came up to rest on the top of Alma's head, ruffling his short messy hair. "He has."
The feel of his friend's hand on him caused the dam to be released and the boy broke down in sobs all the way up to the glowing gate.
Their mission was simple in words; find out if Innocence was involved and bring it back. The Earl's teams of akuma though made it anything but easy. Several days passed by like seconds, war broke out in a nearby town and the Exorcists had to scramble to get people to safety while exterminating plenty of level twos.
Tiedoll's team, however mixed between amateur and veteran exorcists, was a force to be reckoned with. Between a great number of offenses, Maker of Eden's defense and combos that worked great at both long and short range, the five-man cell was able to effectively annihilate the level threes that had been set as the generals of the force. The reward was overall, another piece of Innocence.
"I can't believe how well the two of you worked together." Chaoji was impressed as he stared down the unique pair of second exorcists. "It was like you could read each other's thoughts."
Alma rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Yu and I have just been together for a long time, that's all." He replied modestly, even as he was turning five shades of red.
They exited through the Ark and were greeted on the other side by a crowd of people, ranging from scientists to exorcists. Alma stopped just beyond the glowing portal, his dark eyes lighting up at the sight of so many people. Komui was there, as was Allen, and the pair of exorcists Alma had been so rude to five days before. Bak was there as were some of his team from Asia Branch.
"Welcome back." Komui smiled brightly at them.
Tiedoll reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the glowing piece of Innocence. "We were successful."
The whole group seemed to erupt in unison with cheers and applause.
"Welcome home Alma."
It was Allen who was beaming smiles at them from across the room, but the words stopped everything in the other boy and he just stared at him as if he hadn't heard him right.
"Welcome home." Lenalee repeated from her spot next to him. "Would you like me to get you anything? I just brought coffee down for the directors."
The boy could feel the emotion welling up in him. He had never thought he would get this kind of reaction from anyone. He had never felt wanted or needed by anyone, perhaps besides Yu, but to be told this kind of thing… to be welcome here…made him feel like he mattered. Not as a weapon or as a tool, but as a person.
He looked over to see Kanda move past him. Those raven eyes met his and he gave a frown. "Just come inside already." He replied, and though his tone rose he didn't sound annoyed.
"O-Okay." Alma stammered out, feeling the sting of tears in his eyes, but the smile growing on his face. "Okay. I'm home."
Kanda knew after that Alma would have no trouble fitting in. The people in the Order had accepted him, just as they had accepted Kanda, even though they were different. The samurai knew that, and had known that for a while but he couldn't let his emotions get the better of him, the way Alma did. He couldn't just erase his pain and his anger after so many years. There were people in the Order that mattered, but the Order itself was as corrupt as the rest. He didn't mind dying for a cause, but he would chose what that cause would be, and when.
He did the mission debriefing with Marie, took a hot shower and then went up to the gardens to get in some much-needed alone time. He was more at ease when he was by himself, and being kept in a team for outings usually began to wear on him after a couple of days.
Maybe it was the way he had been created, forcibly reincarnated, that this body was lacking something that made him an acceptable human being. He knew he was broken, but he couldn't find the source of it, where the shattering started; perhaps in his spectral memory, or his ice cold insides. Perhaps the problem was in the staining of his soul. Wherever it started he had yet to find anyone he could tolerate.
Except for her.
He opened his eyes then, blinking at the bright light of the courtyard, and caught her drifting around the stone walk, the streams of sun passing through her ghostly form and causing her to glow like an angel. He knew every fine detail of her, from her long curved lashes to the pucker of her lips, to those big gorgeous eyes. The way she wore that lavish bell gown and the curve of her mouth as she smiled.
She looked back at him then and his heart leapt into his throat. There was the drift of her eyes down to the walk and she seemed to fidget with her hands before she raised one and gave a bit of a wave, and with that she was gone, fading into the sun as if she'd never been.
Kanda continued to stare. He knew he was haunted, and he knew he was obsessed, but she got to him every time, since the days when he was just a boy. She recalled so much emotion that he could barely breathe and it was in those seconds he was truly alive.
Movement came from around the corner where she had been standing, and Kanda flinched, sitting back. It was no surprise who it was, but his heart still skipped a beat; Alma was coming to see him.
Those blue eyes met his and his feet lit up. "There you are Yu! I've been looking for you!" He called, racing over to his friend. Alma's face dropped and his brows furrowed. "I was afraid you'd left again and I wouldn't be able to find you."
Kanda hung his head, trying to recompose himself. "I... think it's more you who I'll never be able to find." He said softly.
Alma blinked, but hopped up on the wall next to him. His blue eyes looked out across the traditional Asian garden, taking everything in. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said after a moment. "I'm right here. And I'll always be here."
He placed his hand down on Kanda's and he felt him twitch. Those raven eyes looked over at him and the boy smiled, leaning over to poke a finger at the samurai's chest. "I'm right here, you know?" He grinned, before he pulled away.
Kanda said nothing. He knew it was true. He also knew why he could tolerate Alma more than anyone else, why he felt the need to comfort him and why sometimes… just sometimes… that nostalgic feeling came back to him when he was with him. He knew why the ghost of the woman he loved hung around when Alma was around, and why being near him just felt right.
"Listen, Yu," Alma started when the silence had stretched too thin. "I know, it's difficult for you to understand but maybe… you already do. I've always hated the Order, and I think that even now I still hate them, a bit. But there are good people here too…people that have done nothing wrong and have been handed horrible fates, just like the two of us. I think you're meant to be here, to protect them."
"Tch," Kanda lifted his face, looking over at him. "What in the hell-" He started, but never got past that. Alma's eyes had never looked so blue and when he realized how close they were in proximity to his face, he found a pair of soft lips locking with his own.
A stirring of feeling rose up in him so great that it started in the center of his chest and rose outward pulsing through his veins until it hit even the tips of his fingers and toes. He leaned in, his eyes closing and when he did he recalled a memory of the two of them standing alone in a field of flowers. He had held her like this before, kissed her like this, and the feeling was the absolute same now as it had been then, he was sure.
"Yu…" When he opened his eyes Alma was there, but he could see her through him, with the face that he had long since memorized, and the eyes… the eyes were the same. How had he not noticed before.
"Do this for me, okay?"
The voice that echoed through his mind, was Alma's but a mix of his and a woman's soft tone that fluttered through his memories like a butterflies. That was about the moment that the garden began to blur over and the pain started to come back, and the more he tried to fight it, the more intense the agony returned.
When Kanda opened his eyes again, it was dark, and the stars were shining brightly overhead. The night was cold and calm as he stared up at the blanket of black up above him through the rubble. Everything hurt, just being able to breathe was like the stab of a knife, but he could feel his body putting itself back together, the tissue and muscle and bone repairing at an unbelievable rate.
Memories came flooding back and his heart jumped. His gaze dropped, to the body in his lap and all around him were lotus blossoms, as real as he could ever recall seeing one, but still just as much a ghost as the woman in his dreams.
The body he was holding was Alma, but he was no longer there, and neither was the soul of the woman who had kept his in place. They were gone, to a place they should have been years ago, and all that was left was a corpse, rotting flesh and shreds of dark matter.
Kanda was astonished he himself was still alive. He had figured his body would have given out, that regenerating back from nearly nothing was too much and that he would have wasted away with the two of them. He wanted to have wasted away with them, to have gone on to his next life and been able to stay with them, but they were always leaving him behind and right now they were gone to a place he could not follow.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm right here. And I'll always be here."
Alma's voice echoed through his head and Kanda closed his eyes. Had that been a dream? If so… could he go back? Go back to that world where everything had been right and Alma had been one of them… where he had been with him.
He recalled his last words, burned them into his memory so that he would never forget again, no matter how long it took or what life he lived.
"Is this what you ask of me?" He said out into the open air. "Is this your last request?"
END
