"Gupta move your fat ass!"

"Aw Sadik I thought you liked my fat ass?"

"Don't worry Gupta we all love your fat ass," Hercules purred. Sadik launched himself in the middle of the couch shoving Hercules and Gupta to the sides. Both men immediately started to beat Sadik with the throw pillows.

"Gimme the damn remote!" Sadik hollered. Hercules squirmed away from Sadik.

"Gimme gimme never gets!" Hercules responded. Gupta slowly backed away from both of them. He slowly snuck away towards the other couch and nonchalantly took the remote. He watched the tv with the idiots still fighting in the background. Gupta flipped through the channels until he reached a Arab comedy show.

"You brat hand it over!"

"I don't fucking have it! Where'd you put it?"

"What ya mean ya don't have it?" By now Gupta had successfully watched ten minutes of his favorite show. For a split second the house was silent, that is until Sadik and Hercules tackled Gupta. Knocking him off the couch. Cursing his luck, Gupta let go of the remote.

"Some people just want to watch the world burn," Gupta pouted.

"Beoble?" Hercules asked. Gupta just glared.

"I can't say the letter after o okay?" Hercules and Sadik laughed as Gupta just continued to pout. "You're so mean to me, both of you!"

Sadik and Hercules sang the abc's until they reached the letter after o. "Someone needs to go back to school," Gupta teased. Hercules threw a pillow at Gupta almost hitting him in the face. "Hey watch it I'm beautiful!" Gupta screamed throwing the pillow back.

"No only your ass is," Hercules snickered. Gupta fake cried and grabbed the remote while acting out sadness.

"You only like me for my ass!" Gupta sobbed while changing the channels until he found his favorite show. Sadik was on the floor laughing at Gupta's horrible performance. Hercules got down on his knees as if to propose.

"Your ass is priceless! You should be proud!" Hercules declared. Sadik was now finally able to catch his breathe.

"Careful Gupta this guy is broke! A euro is a fortune to him," Sadik announced. Hercules started to choke Sadik while Gupta pretended to cry. After five minutes Gupta got bored of watching his friends fight. He found some of Hercules cats and grabbed a red laser. Gupta had taught the cats to play a special trick. Of course if Hercules found out Gupta would be buried in cat fur and 19 meters underground. What the Egyptian man had taught the cats to attack what ever he pointed at. With one flick of the wrist Hercules and Sadik were assaulted by cats. A small satisfaction filled Gupta. The idiots that always fight were now being attacked by what they called 'harmless' cats.


"Ok now that we are bandaged up what the game we're supposed to play this time?" Sadik asked while adjusting the gauze on his arm.

"I suggest-" Hercules began until he was immediately silenced by his companions. Usually Hercules and Sadik weren't allowed to pick because they would pick either inappropriate games or something that would insult the other.

"Monopoly remember?" Gupta asked while holding the monopoly board. After they set up the game the trio decided to pick their pieces.

"I want the car!" Hercules exclaimed until Sadik pulled it away from him.

"Nu uh, you have a €100,000 debt to start of this game," Sadik handed him the crappy thimble. Gupta picked up a piece and tried to hold back his comment.

"Oh wow why do I have to have a debt in this game?" It wasn't a question but Gupta answered it like one.

"Because you're Greece," it earned the Egyptian man a punch in the guts but it was worth it. They managed to play two rounds before all hell broke loose. The Turkish man and the Grecian started to add finial troubles into the game like "ottoman empire failing" or "Greece causes euro crisis". Each one progressively worse and more annoying. Gupta looked at the idiots as they continued all these petty arguments. Soon in a blink of an eye one punched the other and then both were trying to kill each other. Like an episode from the Simpsons, Gupta thought smiling, I hope it's on. Before he went to the tv he spotted a piece of heaven, the kitchen. Thankfully the Grecian and Turkish had similar food types so Gupta can use either of their kitchens to make some home made Egyptian food. Too late to roll grape leaves, not hungry enough for roasted lamb, Sadik should have bought some more rose water. Gupta rummaged thought the fridge until he found ingredients for some Egyptian style lamb chops. Unfortunately he didn't notice that Sadik and Hercules had stopped fighting. They had called over Cyprus and TRNC to help them 'assist' Gupta. The men had snuck up behind Gupta while TRNC or Tevrat watched n amusement. The three men grabbed the Egyptian and ran towards the pool after swinging Gupta about three times and an earful of what Tevrat will assume is swear words in Arabic, Sadik Hercules and Nicandros (Cyprus) let go. Flinging Gupta into the ice cold pool. Tevrat decided that if he got a towel for his Egyptian uncle then maybe Gupta would spoil him more often. Rushing to get the pissed off Egyptian man a towel Nicandros and Hercules stared in wonder while Sadik laughed at Gupta.

"Come here give me a hug," Gupta said as he forcibly hugged the three no threw him in. Now parts of their clothes were wet.

"Salam Gupta I brought you a towel," Tevrat looked at Hercules and Sadik who were crouched on the floor in pain. On the bright side Gupta's right knee seemed to be dry. "What happened?" Tevrat asked. Nicandros just assured him it was nothing.


Gupta woke up in the morning feeling a bit unwell, his head hurt and stomach ached. No more late night fights, no matter how much Sadik and Hercules deserved it. Gupta sat up from his awkward sleeping position on the recliner chair and walked to the bathroom. Many people joked that when the Egyptian had to 'drain the main drain' it was the Nile river. Sure as hell Gupta doesn't pee that much. Once he finished his business Gupta made sure to flush the toilet. Something in the corner of his eye stirred in the bathtub. Slowly craning his head towards the bathtub his eyes met another pair of eyes. Hercules.

"AHHH!" They both screamed. Once they calmed down Gupta washed his hands while a dazed Hercules left the bathroom. "From now on I'll check the bathtub before I pee," Gupta promised himself.

He went to see if the other were awake. Nicandros was still asleep on the floor, Tevrat was fast asleep next to his father figure Sadik and Hercules managed to put himself back to sleep on the love seat. They looked like angels. Not Tevrat and Nicandros because the boys were always nice... To Gupta at least. But for once in his very, very, very long life Hercules and Sadik are at peace. Gupta went to the fridge where some henna was stored. Grabbing the premixed henna he went to Sadik and Hercules and applied the paste to their skins. Marking fake black eyes, funny scars and a monocle. Once he was satisfied he put the henna away. An hour passed and then the men noticed the funny markings on their face. If only children could learn to keep a straight face.

"GUPTA YOU ARE A DEAD MAN WALKING!" Sadik screamed as he wiped away the henna. Unfortunately the henna, once applied, will stain the skin. And since it was on for an hour for about one or two days the markings will stay.


Hello this is the third person omniscient narrator. I have good news the author has forgotten to include an comedy bit for the monopoly game so without further ado here it is.


"Then the Ottoman Empire fell you lose all your property Sadik," Hercules hissed.

"Greece causes the economic downfall Hercules you loose all your cash," Sadik purred. Both men went back and forth until what they said made no sense like and alien invasion.

"Egyptian revolution!" Gupta screamed knocking over all the pieces. He smiled sweetly and added. "The nations Turkey and Greece clean up while their new overlord Egypt gets pampered."


...


Hello it's SarcasticBlue! I just want to say reviews are always appreciated. So please review and I have currently three stories I'm working that were requests people are understand it will get published but I need some time! Also got done with most my midterms! If you read any of this please type in the review Stephano. As always thank you my wonderful readers it really brings me joy to see people enjoy my work.