Welcome to my new story! This is dedicated to KiaaluvsGlee who requested a long Clallas story. And thank you to everyone who voted for this story in the poll!
Legal: I own nothing but the idea.
Warning! This story contains a lot of trigger warnings. This story contains graphic images, violence, drug use, verbal and physical abuse, rape and sexual assault. If you read Ghosts of Who We Were it is similar to that but won't get as intense or brutal. This story is for entertainment purposes only and I do not condone any of these acts.
A lot has been changed for this A/U story so please read the A/Ns carefully. Some of this is repeated in the story but I know some people skim the long paragraphs of explanation.
Lots of very important things to know before reading:
*This takes place in Clare's grade 11 year, at the start of the story she is 16, and Maya's grade 9 year and she has just turned 15
*Darcy and Katie are OOC for story purposes
*Clare's parents did not get divorced
*Jake and Glen moved to Toronto last year but Glen never dated Helen and Jake never dated Clare
*Fitz still works at The Dot
*Eli was pulled out of DeGrassi after crashing his car
*Bianca never dated Anson and he never tried to rape her so he's still alive, Drew was never beaten by Vince and Bianca never dated Vince and therefor Adam was never shot
*Drew and Bianca have been dating since he broke up with Alli (See Above)
*Dave and Alli are dating and Jenna has been dating Adam since breaking up with K.C.
*Luke moves alone and is billeted with a family but his family stays in Florida
*Cam's whole family moved with him to Toronto. On the show they've named a couple of his brothers but not his mom or sister or given ages. So I used the named brothers and made up everyone's ages and grades along with the name of his mom and sister
*Grace and Tiny are in grade 10
*Zig is not involved with Vince or his gang
Okay I think that does it enjoy!
Ch. 1 No More Carefree Laughter Silence Ever After
(CLARE)
BANG chink BANG chink BANG chink someone banging on my bedroom door rattles the padlock I installed on it to keep everyone else out.
"Hey Cute Curls you in there? You should come have a drink with us," Anson calls through my door.
I don't answer I never do, just turn up the volume on my phone to make the music going through my headphones louder. To think that eight months ago the biggest problem in my life was that Eli had intentionally crashed his car so I would come see him again. He was okay aside from a broken leg but his parents pulled him out of DeGrassi and he's been homeschooled ever since. It was probably for the best but it was only a couple weeks after his crash that my life began to fall apart.
In an attempt to save their marriage my parents went on a romantic weekend. They left late because my father said he had to work. He fell asleep at the wheel and they crashed head on into another vehicle. The other driver survived but barely, my parents were killed almost instantly. I had been sixteen for less than a month and though I was old enough to live on my own I didn't take their death well. Darcy was brought home from Africa after their death for the funeral and all. When I was having trouble coping her program refused to have her back and she was made to stay here and be my guardian.
Darcy resented being brought home from Africa to take care of me. She was also upset about Mom and Dad's death but she was taking it out on me. She got a job as a bartender at a local club and about a week after that I found her taking and dealing drugs. It didn't take more than a couple of months for Darcy to burn through her part of the inheritance from our parent's life insurance. She used it all on drugs and tried to get to my inheritance, but mine is being safely held in a trust for me that I will get access to at eighteen and Darcy can't touch.
Things only got worse in May when Darcy started dating Anson russ, who is also her drug supplier. I tried to tell people Darcy was taking and dealing drugs but when the cops came she hid everything. Even managed to somehow pass a drug test and after the cops left she hit me and traded me to Anson for drugs. She dosed my drink and told me what was happening when I began feeling woozy. I couldn't believe she was letting her own boyfriend rape me for drugs especially because she'd been raped. He did use a condom and I'd been on birth control since her rape but this was very little comfort. When I was coherent enough I asked my sister how she could do such a thing after her rape. She made it clear that the drugs were more important to her than I was and that she'd been nice by dosing my drink so I didn't feel it and barely remembered it.
After that drug users and dealers started hanging out at our house. Anson's friends, who are as low and disgusting as he is, began hanging out here. We become the burn-out hangout. For most of the summer no matter what happened I kept expecting the police to come in and arrest everyone in the house. I'd be free of Darcy, maybe put the house in my name instead of hers, but it never happened. Anson and Darcy are careful not to make too much noise or have too many people come in the front and the drugs aren't stored or manufactured here. I even called the cops once when everyone was here, the cops came but Anson heard them and hid the drugs they had on hand. A few people got arrested for possession or underage drinking but that was it. Darcy knew it was me that called and Anson beat me so badly Darcy took me to the hospital, and told them I had been hit by a car. I lost all my will or strength to fight back over the summer, being traded for drugs and beaten broke away every piece of me. Now it's December and I've been living in this hell for over six months now.
"Awe come on Cute Curls I know you're in there," Anson calls again.
He started calling me Cute Curls during that first rape and I hate that nickname. I remain silent and eventually he walks away from my door and goes back downstairs. I continue listening to my music for a bit longer but then there's loud banging on my door again, only this time it's not Anson.
"OPEN UP YOU LITTLE BRAT WE BROUGHT A ROOMMATE FOR YOU!" Darcy yells as she pounds on my door. I have no idea what she means by roommate, when she's traded me she usually tells me she has company for me. I'm not sure I want to know but she's not going away so I get up, take the key from its hiding place and unlock the padlock. "Here she's staying with you, tell her how things work around here," Darcy informs me pushing Maya into my room.
"I think we're going to like it here," Katie grins then she turns around with Darcy and they go downstairs.
As soon as Maya's in I close my bedroom door and lock the padlock again. I put the key back in its hiding place and look at Maya. She's not crying right now but I see her red puffy eyes and the streaks from her tears. She's got a bag in her hand and she looks sort of blank, it's a look of shock and terror.
"Katie says we're moving in," Maya tells me in a small voice when I take her suitcase.
"What about your parents?"
"I don't know. They were taking Mom for treatment and we were supposed to stay at Marisol's for a week. It was just supposed to be a week but they didn't come for us so we went home and everything was gone and the house had been sold. Our parents were nowhere. They were just gone, everything was gone. We're afraid to go to the cops and we had nowhere to go. Then Katie ran into Darcy and Darcy said we could move in here. You and I are sharing this room, Katie is taking your sister's old room," Maya tells me in a fast panicked and agonized voice.
"Darcy moved into our parent's room when she came back so I guess that makes sense. I don't suppose Darcy told you what takes place in this house?"
"Katie just said we could live here until our parents came back," Maya says sitting on my bed. I set down her suitcase and sit next to her.
"Darcy and her boyfriend deal and take drugs. All their friends either take drugs or are just plain scum. Stay in the room as much as you can the padlock is there for a reason. Darcy doesn't seem to care what happens to me, she's traded me to Anson and a couple others for drugs before."
"Traded you?"
"Let them rape me."
"Clare how long have you been living like this?"
"more than half a year now, it got really bad over the summer."
"And I thought you seemed sadder and more reserved at school because you were grieving your parents."
"I didn't want anyone to know about this and when I tried to tell people they didn't believe me. I even tried calling the cops once, a few people got arrested for possession or underage drinking but nothing else happened. I was beaten for telling the cops so now I just stay silent and keep my head down, and avoid home as much as I can. School is somewhat of a solace, at least no one's trying to abuse me there and when I'm home I stay in here with the padlock on. But you have to get up to the room when you get here and leave to use the washroom. I was assaulted by a boy on the stairs once just trying to get to my room."
"I can't do this, I don't want to live like this," Maya cries.
"Maybe you won't be here very long and if Katie doesn't get involved in drugs and you can avoid everyone you'll be okay," I'm saying but even as I say it I know it's probably not possible.
"Katie hurt her knee last semester and got addicted to her pain pills," Maya says in a hopeless tone and begins crying. She curls up with her head on her knees and I rub her back. "Can't we just tell Principal Simpson or something?"
"I've tried, I tried to tell people before it was even this bad, either they didn't believe me or Darcy and Anson made everything seem fine. Then I got beaten or worse for trying to tell someone. Tell your friends you moved in with us because your mom is gone for treatment. I'm old enough to move out on my own but it's not so easy to just walk out, anyway Darcy and Anson won't let me just leave. I've been putting away a little bit of money and researching what I need to get out and keep them from forcing me home but I don't have much saved and I can't get a job."
"If you can't get a job how are you saving money?"
"Sometimes after the guys…do what they want with me they leave me some money. It's not much but I save part of it and use the rest for food. Here I keep some food and water in here to avoid going to the kitchen. It's just snacks and protein bars but there's never much food in the house anyway and you don't want to spend much time in the kitchen or the rest of the house."
"I can't believe you've been living like this for six months and no one knew. How can you stand being raped?"
"I never said I could. I'm on birth control so I won't get pregnant and they usually use condoms but not always. I go into the free clinic for STI testing every couple of months. I've been lucky so far but I'm not sure how long that luck will last. I hate it but I adapted, I had to. I stay away from the house when I can and find ways to cope. I spend a lot of time writing and ice skating."
"I didn't know you were an ice skater," Maya says wiping at her tears.
"I started when I was four, Mom thought it would be good for me. I stopped around fourteen there was a lot more going on when I started high school, but after my parents died and Darcy turned to what she is now I started again. This place is hell but when I'm on the ice I'm in my own world no matter how many other people are on the ice with me. Find that thing or things that will keep you from losing your mind. It's the only way to keep your sanity and a part of who you are."
(MAYA)
I woke up because I had to pee. Clare and I were sharing her bed tonight so I wasn't sleeping on the floor. I had hoped I'd wake up in my own bed and hear my parents in the house and this whole thing would have been some terrible nightmare. However, it wasn't and I didn't want to get up and go out to the washroom where there are people. I didn't want to but I didn't think I had a choice, it was three in the morning and if I wait until later it's just going to get worse and people are bound to be awake. I get up slowly and walk quietly to the door, Clare showed me where the hiding place for the padlock is and I unlock the padlock. I put the key back in its hiding place before carefully opening the door and tiptoeing across the hall to the washroom. I lock the door and pee as fast as I can, wash my hands and open the door again but a boy is standing there and he grins at me.
"Well hello blondie," he says blocking me.
"Excuse me," I say timidly trying to move past him but he grabs my pajama top and pushes me against the wall with a sinister laugh. "NO GET OFF ME LET GO!" I scream as he starts kissing my neck and opening the button on my pajama top. I expect my sister to come running but she doesn't even open her door, instead Clare opens her door and comes out.
"Leave her alone," Clare says pulling him off me and she quickly pulls me into her room locking the padlock again. As soon as I'm on the bed I burst into tears, Clare sits with me and puts her arm around me in a comforting way.
"I can't do this, I can't live like this," I sob.
Clare doesn't say anything she just rubs my back until I cry myself to sleep. I wake up late and Clare is still in the room with me.
"I haven't heard much from the rest of the house; they're probably sleeping or high. If you want to use the washroom and shower this is probably the best time," Clare says to me and I nod.
I get out of bed slowly and walk across the hall to the washroom. I lock the door and find a cupboard with towels, I put one over the shower curtain rod for me to use and turn on the water. The warm water feels good and for a moment I forget that our parents abandoned us. That they told us Mom was getting treatment but sold the house and either took or sold all of our stuff except for a couple of items they left in the house and are currently in Katie's car. Forget for a moment that they left me with Katie who now seems to hate me and that we've moved into a house of horrors. I can forget until I hear the door open and I know I locked the door.
"I'm in here," I call although I'm assuming they heard the shower.
"And I need to piss," the male voice replies. I can hear him which is gross and I hope that he finishes and gets the hell out, of course he does not. He flushes when he's done which makes the water cold and then the boy throws open the curtain and I shriek. "You must be the little sister, I'm Vince," he grins at me. He's black and thin but mean looking with sharp features.
"Get out!" I screech trying to cover myself but he doesn't move just grins.
"Your sister seemed real upset last night. I gave her some oxy and she got real happy and I spent all night fucking her. Now she's my girlfriend," he tells me.
"Good for you now get out!"
"I wonder if your pussy is as tight as your sister's?" He grins reaching for me.
"No leave me alone," I cry in a shrill voice trying to move back but there's nowhere to go in the shower. I slip and crash to the bottom of the tub hitting my arm and I cry out again. Vince begins laughing and turns around just as I hear a door open and see Clare leaving her room.
"Vince get out there is another a washroom," Clare tells him shoving him away from the washroom. Vince stops laughing and takes her by the arm shoving her into the doorframe.
"Maybe I should try your pussy instead," Vince growls before letting her go.
"Are you okay?" Clare asks closing and locking the washroom door again.
"I don't know, he didn't touch me but I didn't want him in here and he wouldn't leave. He's dating Katie now and she's already taking oxy again," I tell Clare and the tears begin flowing from my eyes.
"I'm sorry Maya I wish that you weren't in this. I'll let you finish your shower," she says and turns to go through the door again.
"Could you stay with me?" I request in a timid and tearful voice.
"Sure," she nods closing the shower curtain again.
I stay in the water a few more moments and then turn it off. I wrap the towel around me and turn the water off opening the shower curtain.
"Come on you should come get dressed in my room, I mean our room," Clare says. We run across the hall and she locks the padlock again. I open my suitcase and get dressed, Clare's already changed for the day and when I'm dressed she takes my hand and opens the padlock again. "Stay close to me," Clare whispers when we're in the hallway and I nod.
"Cute Curls where do you think you're going?" Asks a boy with his arm around Darcy. He's mean looking too and he's got stupid looking facial hair.
"Adam's to see if we can borrow their futon because Maya needs a bed Anson. The two of us can't share my bed," Clare replies and then we pretty much run out the front door.
"Are you sure this is the way to Adam's house?" I inquire after a couple of blocks.
"We're not going to Adam's we'll go to the cops, tell them together we have to at least try," Clare tells me and I let out a sigh of relief.
We keep walking and the sign for the police station comes into view. My heart begins to race and I feel a lightness of hope I haven't felt since we came home to see our house abandoned. We're across the street from it, I can see police cars and even a couple officers right outside and then Clare is grabbed from behind. It's Anson and he holds a knife to her back. He's not alone either Vince is with him and he grabs my arm pulling me away from Clare.
"Katie thought you might do something like this. Clare you should know better by now. Maya you're new so let me tell you how it works; if you do anything to bring cops to the house asking questions we'll make you regret it. Cops asking questions make us angry and you don't want to know the level of pain we can cause when we're angry. Got it?" Anson asks and I nod. "Good," he smiles pushing Clare toward a car and opening the door and shoving her in. Vince does the same with me and Anson starts driving.
"Maya does need a mattress to sleep on," Clare speaks up after we've been driving a moment.
"Fine but you two better behave," Anson replies.
He takes us to a store and gets a pad for an outdoor lounge chair telling me that will be my bed. Puts it in the trunk and starts driving back to Clare's house. Anson tells us to get in and Vince gets the little pad that will be my bed. The four of us go up to Clare's room and just as we're walking through the doorway Anson grabs Clare's arm and punches her side. I gasp and make a strangled shriek before coughing as Vince punches me in the stomach and I double over.
"Don't ever think of talking again," Anson growls and Vince kicks me in the side sending me to the floor. They leave the room and Clare quickly locks the door with the padlock.
All I can do is curl up and cry. Clare puts my mattress by her bed and peeks out of the door before going out to the linen closet to get sheets and a blanket. She makes my bed and gives me one of her pillows then she sits by me until I stop crying, mostly because I have no more tears. I get up and sit on Clare's bed, she gives me some water and an energy bar and we sit there silently for a while. When late afternoon becomes evening Clare gets up and unlocks the padlock.
"Come on we need some proper food and we need to get out of the house for a while," Clare says putting the key back in the hiding spot before opening the door.
"Are they even going to let us out of the house?" I question as I slowly get up.
"Where are you going?" Darcy questions when we come down the stairs.
"The Dot we need some food," Clare replies and Anson gives us a look.
"I'll drive them," he says and gets up taking his arm from around Darcy. I don't want to be the car with Anson again but I don't think we have a choice. Clare sits up front and I sit in the back, Anson drives us the short way to The Dot and parks at the alley behind it that leads to Above the Dot. "Don't you even think about telling anyone anything," Anson says.
"We won't talk but we need to eat," Clare replies.
"You need some money?" Anson asks with a lecherous grin and I watch Clare's face. She looks disgusted and solemn; I see in her eyes that she knows she'll need to do something she doesn't want to do for the money but she knows she needs the money. She bites her lip and looks down as her cheeks flush with shame and she slowly nods. "Show me," he commands.
Clare looks around and when she doesn't see anyone she lifts her top and bra. Anson makes this malicious yet carnal grin that makes me want to throw up. He reaches out and squeezes Clare's breasts then takes his hands away and she fixes her clothes. Anson gets out his wallet and gives Clare $20, she takes it and jumps out of the car. I get out too and Anson drives off. Clare leans against the wall, a few tears crawling down her cheeks, she takes a deep shaky breath and opens her purse putting the money in her wallet before wiping away her tears.
"Come on let's go eat," Clare says and we walk around to the front of the café going inside. "Hi Fitz," Clare smiles at the boy behind the counter. She seems to know him more than just seeing him in here. I've only talked to him when ordering but I have seen pictures of him with Owen and Bianca at Tristan's house so I know he's friends with them.
"Hey Clare, and Maya isn't it?" Fitz asks and I nod. "So what can I get you girls?"
"We need dinner; Darcy's idea of dinner is finger foods. Maya and Katie moved in with us for a while. They're mom is sick with MS and their parents had to go out of the country for an experimental treatment," Clare tells him. I suppose people are going to find out we live there sooner or later and that sounds better than our parents abandoned us.
"Cool," Fitz smiles.
We order some food and sit down, Fitz gets our drinks and brings them to us and then our food when it's ready. I want to eat because I haven't eaten much in the last couple of days but I don't feel all that hungry.
"I know with everything that happened you probably don't feel very hungry but you have to eat Maya," Clare encourages me in a whisper.
"Just thinking about what's happened since Katie dragged me to your house has me feeling ill. What you did in the car…"
"Don't talk about that," she snaps at me and Fitz looks over at us, "I know what you must think of me but at least it was my choice and he didn't force me. Anyway every dollar gets us a little closer to leaving that place."
The update next Wednesday will begin the girls getting to school the next morning and finding out that the Ice Hounds are coming.
