A/N: Again a scribbling, or I'd call it so.


With each breath, she became more delirious. What had he gotten himself into...

In spirit she could feel more of his pain...


Will she ever forgive him?

Anakin's redeemed soul wandered in the new world. In the force, in between the lines of guilt and blame, in salvation and sin. In solitude. He ached, needing her, desperately. But wasn't he the one to fail her, to push her away...

No, he'd ne'er pushed her away, he had been hungry of power, blinded by love... Her love...

He'd wanted to save her, but on what cost? on the cost of her heart, her values, her very essence...

Calm down...

He couldn't calm down. the betrayal that he'd done to her, the guilt overwhelming. suffocating. He had lost her for ever. Even if he could feel the Light, The Force, what he needed the most was her. He was in spirit, still the pain felt so real, so vivid, he wanted to rip at his hair and clothes...he wanted to punish himself for committing the unforgivable.

How had he been so blinded as not to see a future together was not possible...he forced her to live a lie. None of which she deserved. A person like her deserved much better. He had caused her life to end in a misery...

How couldn't he see she would rather die than leave her values...


Anakin struggled with himself, his destiny, his circumstances everything...

Shrouded with grief, he cried himself to sleep every night, hurt everyday, wanting to be with her...missed her terribly. But he couldn't take his actions back. He wanted to stir the wheel of time backwards, freeze the soft moments, undo the mistakes... but he couldn't...

He lay curled up, overcome with loathing...for himself.

Her presence enveloped him like a warm blanket.

"Padmé..." For the first time in years he let himself utter her name.

"Shhh...I'm here..."

"I'm sorry..." He mumbles.

She pushes back the golden strands off his tan skin. "I know you are..."

"I...I was unworth..."

"Don't..." Her long, slim finger pressed against his lips, softly...

He could feel her aura, like warm rain drenching every inch of him, when he'd been but thirsty. Her knuckles softly grazed the side of his face.

" And I knew, you were always good..."

He struggles to open his eyes, but they remain glued shut, he wanted to see her...

"Always..." Her voice was a distant whisper before she pressed her lips against his, this squeezed his eyes shut tighter...he'd been aching for this very moment...he thought if he lied still and kept his eyes shut she'd stay...as though it were a dream, and she'd vanish...vanish into reality, which he hated.

Like he hated himself...

His hands rose up to caress where he supposed her arm was, but he couldn't find anything...

He grasped for her, but she slipped away, tearing his soul apart...her long curls slipping in between his fingers.

"I forgive you, infact I did a long time ago..." Her voice as sweet as honey. "And remember I love you..."

"Padmé!" He gasped. The dry, parched desert was just soaking up the rain, and now it was lost...

It had been a dream_Wait! Padmé's supposed to be in spirit too, right? _or was it?


I never loved myself but you, I loved you so much, that I forgot what hating myself felt like...

-Anakin


A/N: Let me know your views, hope you liked...

Happy reading

May the force be with you.

Love-and-Joy