Attempt Number: Infinity

It was an every other day in Metrocity, but of course, for the prison located on the edge of town, normal looked far more different than you'd think. Their greatest criminal, and constant escapee, was unnaturally quiet compared to other days. This concerned the warden and the guards, and they did everything in their power to lock him up with tighter restrictions. But in the end, they knew it would never be enough, and they were right.

It was late in the evening, the sun was casting a red sky in the reflections on the windows of the skyscrapers. Then suddenly, with no warning proceeding it, a loud explosion ripped through the air like a mini jet, and it took down a part of the prison's wall with it.

"The cell!" A guard on duty cried to the others. They took only a moment of hesitation to react, running towards the damage. A siren of alarm and following procedures was yelling overhead as they sprinted down the hallways to where the commotion was taking place.

But they were already too late.

The warden, who met them there, frowned at the culprit, Megamind. His explosion freed him from his cell, and he was already outside, climbing aboard a long legged robot that resembled a tall chariot without seats. He laughed menacingly and fist bumped his buddy in crime, Minion, who drove the metallic creation. "Tootle-loo, my good friends!" Megamind yelled back as the robot stood to its full height and marched easily over the watch posts and fences.

The guards exchanged glances, unsure on what to do with themselves. Warden sighed and shook his head, turning away from the broken cell. It was useless to pursue those guys, only Metroman had the ability to stop them. "Don't worry, they'll be back." He growled calmly. "In the meantime, I guess we should add explosion proof walls to the next cell."

The laugh between the two criminals continued on for a good long while, their faces were both beaming with excitement as the passing citizens screamed down below. The clawed feet of the ride crunched down on the pavements and roads, tearing it to bits. Minion drove it quickly with a destination in mind. The lair wasn't much further, but he needed to reach it before news spread and Metroman came to stop them.

The laugh from Megamind subsided though as he quickly realized they were going further east in the city, not west where the lair was. "Minion?" He asked, his wide green eyes catching confusion. "Where are we going?"

It was only a matter of time before he asked that question, but Minion had a plan. "I just wanted to show you something really quick."

But he frowned, pouting like a little kid. "Don't you realize we're on a time sensitive run right now? We are going to go back to the lair, right?"

Minion didn't flinch. "Of course, it'll just take a minute..." And he had to remind him every second about that before the robot climbed over a empty clothesline stretched between two buildings, where the legs of the robot retracted and lowered into the alley. Minion jumped down before helping Megamind off. "We're here!" He said, extending his arms around him. "Our new home."

Megamind looked around him, his question remaining unanswered. "This is not the lair, Minion, why are we here?"

"Well Sir," He began, hitting the power button on the robot. "We've had three evil lairs in two months, and that's because Metroman keeps discovering them after our battles. I think, to preserve our good hideouts, we need a few temporary ones. That way, he wouldn't be able to find our real lair and we would have to move again."

He glanced around at the tight space with a judgmental glare. "But this is outside, it's not a lair if we're outside, and what about the equipment, how can we prepare if I don't have my projects?"

"Don't worry, Sir, I have it all covered." He assured yet again. Minion brought his metallic arm ahead of him. "I've got the invisibility sheets out on the clotheslines, and this is only the outside portion of the lair. I already packed all your stuff." He walked to the single, unsuspecting door in the alley. It was dark with ash and smudges, and it smelled like an old fire.

Minion pushed the door slowly open and went in. Megamind, still unconvinced, followed him down the stairs where they came to a neglected basement. The first thing he noticed was that all of his most important machines, computers, and blueprints were indeed down here. True, they were organized and neat since Minion was the one to sort them out, but he brought all the right pieces. Megamind stepped ahead without comment, examining everything from the smudges on the ceiling to the spacious room the basement had left. He was a hard man to please, and Minion sat through every picky complaint that came after, and he did it with an unwavering smile.

"I've cleaned it up quite a bit, it needed a lot of attention, but it's as good as any. I made sure of that." Minion continued as Megamind made a slow round of the room. "It was under evacuation because of a fire sometime in the last year, but after supporting some weaker areas, I can assure you this place is very solid."

Megamind began to soothe his talk about the place, and Minion was sure he would quickly grow accustomed to it, as he did with every lair they found.

After a night of brainstorming their next plan of attack, (which was mainly Megamind talking out loud to himself,) Minion came back to the lair with two bags of take-out breakfast style food. As if he couldn't expect anything less, Megamind was already hyped up and beginning with whatever idea he had at the time. Minion set the bags on the table and sighed. It was the hardest thing ever to stop Megamind from work long enough to take care of himself, whatever happens, he chose not to ask about any of the planning.

"Minion," Megamind exclaimed as he stopped long enough to see him by the table. Here it comes... "You're just in time, I've found out the answer to our trouble. This is something I haven't done yet, and it'll send him packing for sure this time!"

Megamind didn't say who "him" was, but Minion already knew he was referring to Metroman.

Megamind stopped working on the new outline of whatever it was he was working on and he nearly tripped into the table with too much excitement. He then continued to splurge on his new idea, but Minion wasn't all ears on this one, even if he wasn't talking at a hundred words a second.

"That all sounds very interesting, Sir." Minion chirped, pretending like he understood half the jumble. "Why don't you sit down and we'll talk about it over some breakfast?"

"There's too much work to be done! Minion, this is huge!" He turned back to the board. Too late, Minion thought, digging into his own breakfast bag. The least he could have done was wait for them to eat something first. "Our hard work is about to pay off!"

Megamind slapped the board with his finger, showcasing it to Minion. "I've always thought there was something missing from our battles." He pointed at a crude drawing of Metrocity, where in the center, Megamind was fighting with Metroman. "We've always been battling for control on the city, but where's the flare? Where's the inspiration? The hero doesn't have enough to fight for. Tell me, what is it, Minion?"

Minion sighed, growing slightly annoyed now. He's played this game over and over before, Megamind already knew what the answer was, but this was his way of wrapping Minion up in the detailing. "I wouldn't even begin to know, Sir."

Megamind frowned at him, stopping in the middle of his showcase.

"But do tell me." Minion urged.

But Megamind didn't continue with his tale, instead, he came to the table where he picked up a remote for the nearby TV set and turned it on. Automatically, it was set to a local Metrocity news channel. Displayed was a woman, a news reporter, explaining something drab Minion didn't care about.

"Stocks of Supermarket rising?" He read as he squinted his eyes in confusion.

"No," Megamind answered, then he swung his arms towards the screen. "Minion, I bring you the damsel in distress!"

If Minion was eating then, he would have choked and fell behind the chair. For the longest time, he was too stunned to even respond to the most ridiculous notion he's ever heard from Megamind this far, and he's heard some good ones.

Megamind turned to the screen again where the reporter was interviewing who appeared to be the owner of the supermarket. The news girl was Roxanne Ritchi, and while she was still young and nice looking, even pretty, she wasn't anything outside of ordinary. "She's perfect, I've been watching her for some time now. She's smart, confident, and stress free. She's a wonderful match for Metroman!" He turned back to Minion, throwing his hands before him dramatically as he spoke. "She'll sail in his arms, tight against his chest, off into the blazing sunset. They'll be the perfect couple!"

Minion slowly rose up from his seat. "Sir, uh... How does this affect us? I don't see how matchmaking the two will help us with our goals."

Megamind gave him a look like he was silly to not have gotten the point. "Minion, every hero needs a love interest they can rescue from the evil villain. This gives him a new distraction, a new tool for us to use against him."

Minion was folding his arms now, still as unconvinced as before. "So, in other words, we're taking in a hostage?"

Megamind shrugged. "Maybe not every time, but it opens us to a new sheet of options."

"I thought we agreed we won't be involving the innocent citizens of the city unknowingly into our battles with Metroman."

Megamind went silent for a second, furrowing his brow in utter confusion. "What are you talking about? Since when did we ever talk about that?"

Minion pulled forth a formal speeched paper. "Since we both signed on the Best Evil Doers Ethics Form last year."

"Fine!" He hastidly agreed. "What if I don't take her as a hostage then? What if I...convince her to play the part?"

Minion winced. "I'm not sure how we can convince anybody to do that willingly, but I guess..."

"Splendid!" Megamind yelled, turning back to the board as the news continued to play on the TV. Minion sat back down on the sofa, watching as the news reporter continued with her story. Her life was fixing to change, and Minion hoped it wouldn't affect any one of them too much.

Over the next few days, Megamind and Minion tested and talked about their course of action. Of course, Megamind was the one who did most of the building and planning, but Minion was happy enough to stay in the details, even though he still disagreed on taking a citizen hostage.

The plan included such devices as a hologram dispenser, a remote control mechanic dragon, new "torture" tools for the damsel in distress, and a "Weakness Revealer". The last of which was tested on Minion as Megamind then tried to expose his true fears. It took several tweaks and tests, but after some false guesses, he got it to work. "Whirlpools?" Megamind asked in confusion.

"I learned that one in school." Minion admitted, honest but embarrassed.

Then, when most of the work was done in that short timing, Megamind left to find their new "damsel in distress". Unknown to Minion, Megamind never planned on asking her to play her part nicely, instead, he carried a spray that knocked her out instantly, and brought her to back to their little temporary lair.

In the far corner of the basement, Megamind had set up where they'll keep the girl. Minion was already home when he came in, unconscious citizen being carried behind him by the group of brainbots. Minion sighed, of course he was just going to take her unwillingly, that is what a true villain would do. "Sir, I thought we agreed we had a no abduction policy."

Megamind scoffed as he walked by, holding his thin hands out on either side of him. "She wasn't cooperating, what do you expect me to do? My window of opportunity was closing."

It was pointless to argue with that one, and it was already too late to change plans anyway. Minion will just have to go with it. He turned, watching as the brainbots dumped her in the chair where she could be restrained. "Did you make the announcement?" He asked.

Megamind went to work, turning on the tools and computers by Roxanne's chair. "Of course I did." He answered. It was part of what they discussed earlier, he would tell the authorities about how he hid a hostage at the big stadium, where he would be waiting to fight with Metroman there in the next hour. What he didn't say was that there was a giant fire breathing metallic dragon there as well. "Right before Spitfire the dragon pops out of his hiding spot to fight the hero, the plates in the floor will send off the signals to the cap over the battlefield, which will pick off Metroman's worst fear. With that knowledge, we can't possibly lose."

They've said that before, but Minion kept that thought to himself. "You're not actually planning on hurting her, are you?"

That brought a burst of laughter in response. "Of course not! Who do you think I am?" Megamind turned towards the hostage. "But she doesn't know that, and neither does Metroman." Then, he flipped a switch, turning on a light that focused on the waking victim. She woke up slowly and calmly before she realized she was tied down on a chair.

"What's going on?!" She cried, trying to shake past the ropes. Then her wide gaze fell on the two staring at her. "You!" She said, addressing the blue fiend. "You're Megamind, you're the one who's always attacking the city."

He chuckled. "I'm glad to see my reputation precedes me, Miss Ritchi."

"What are you doing?" She asked with a trembling voice. "Why am I here?"

"No reason in particular." Megamind shrugged, a teasing smile on his face. "You're just the unfortunate victim of my plan." He tossed his head back. "Camera ready yet, Minion?"

"Ready, Sir!"

After the camera was trained on her, Megamind opened the hatch at her feet, which revealed a small pool of hungry, jumping alligators. Roxanne screamed and pushed herself further in the chair.

The threat came to Metroman's ears easily, and he set off at once for the big stadium. He already knew it would be a trap, more than likely, but there was an innocent's life to think about. Megamind never once took a hostage before, he was growing desperate.

The stadium, despite looking very empty, had all of its lights on, and he dove right for the center of the field. The dirt kicked up as he landed, and he turned, surveying the field carefully. Suddenly, the screaming behind him caught his attention, and he spun to see the captive tied in a chair at the far end. "There!" He cried aloud, flying straight for her. As he neared, he brought his hands before him, ready to take her away from harm, but as soon as he touched her, she vanished and he landing right behind where she was a moment ago.

A laugh displayed over all the speakers. "You've fallen right into my trap, Metroman!" It was Megamind's voice.

Back at the lair, he jumped on the computer and brought a screen up showing a chart of brainwaves. "Have Spitfire ready to jump in the field, Minion."

"Working on it, Sir!" He called back, sitting behind a computer opposite him.

Metroman was already standing on the plates unknowingly, and they casted silent information up to the small cap by one of the speakers, from there, it transferred the data to Megamind's computer. A roar split through the night air, though it was difficult to tell exactly where it was coming from, but it wasn't on the speaker.

Metroman frowned, and returned back to the center field. Then, slowly, the face of the dragon rose up from the stadium wall and it flew over him.

Megamind slammed the computer screen in frustration. Not only did he not come up with an answer on Metroman's fears, but his brainwaves alone sent the computer going haywire. "Nothing!" He cried, standing up and retreating to Minion's side. "Nothing at all! Why didn't it work on him? Does he even have brain activity at all in there?! Honestly!" Now growing angry at the return of failure, he booted Minion aside. That is, Minion gave up the computer and allowed Megamind to take it. "Let me drive this thing." Megamind growled, taking control of the joystick. "This is my fight!"

Back on the field, Metroman nearly dodged a blast of fire, the end of his cape even catching a hint of the flame. He took to the sky, circling to the back of the dragon where he super punched the back of its head. It growled in return with a hot breath and turned, trying to locate the hero.

But he was too fast, and each time the shiny cameras for eyes caught him, he quickly disappeared in the next frame. "Come on!" Megamind yelled, turning the dragon's head around after each hit. He resembled a focused child in deep with a difficult video game. "Why is Spitfire so slow?! We couldn't program anything faster?"

Then the dragon flew up into the sky above the stadium with the use of huge wings and jets. There he was, the tiny white clad superhero. Another burst of fire erupted from the dragon's mouth, but Metroman was in the clear this time. He flew to Megamind's blind spot in the right, then used his laser vision to sear off part of the wing.

The dragon struggled staying airborne. In fact, so much power was being used to keep it airborne, that it took to much time for it to attack. Metroman took the advantage, searing off a chunk from the other wing as well. Spitfire fell back down to the stadium, crashing hard and knocking screws and bolts free. Metroman followed it down, ready to finish off, but this time, the dragon responded with a swipe of a sharp claw. The impact was perfect, and it sent Metroman soaring by, crashing right into the seating.

But beyond the cheering of Megamind and Minion at home, Metroman was barely scratched and he came flying back again. For just a second, a laser stared into the dragon's eye, blinding Megamind's view of the fight, angry, he began kicking it, desperate for the sight on the field.

Meanwhile, Metroman tore Spitfire apart, scrap after scrap and chunk after chunk. When the screen broke through again, it was already too late, Metroman already won the fight. With a final searing laser, Megamind caught a single frame of the stadium before the dragon exploded into a mighty boom.

Metroman's job was hardly done, he still had a hostage to save. Megamind was hiding somewhere with her, he wasn't sure where, but he needed to find out. Determined, he took to the skies, soaring just under a layer of cloud, scanning the city.

"No, no, no!" Megamind cried, stomping his feet like an unsatisfied toddler. "This can't be happening, not again! We didn't even get the information we need for the next one!"

"Sir," Minion asked, careful to creep into Megamind's space while he was still upset. "Now that all that's done, what do we do now? Is there an escape plan?"

He sighed. "Escape plan? We can't leave here, Metroman will see us for sure." Megamind frowned. "I thought I told you to look into the details for me, Minion?"

Minion was set aback, this was another one of Megamind's little things that said, "I didn't think this through, but I'm going to blame you so I don't look bad." But Minion just nodded hopelessly.

"Of course you did, Sir."

Megamind moved away from the static computer. "Do I have to do everything myself here?"

The screaming from Roxanne quieted down somewhat, even though the hatch with the alligators was still open. "Why do you continue to try and fight him when you keep losing?"

The comment brought out a look of despise, Megamind clenched his fist. "Losing? Oh, just you wait and see, Miss Ritchi. My hard work will pay off handsomely one of these days."

Minion was checking on the equipment, when a view from another screening caught his attention. "Sir," He stumbled. "We have movement outside, he found us."

"Fantastic!" Megamind yelled sarcastically. "Bar the door, I'll secure the hostage."

Minion obeyed, but he knew it wouldn't help.

From his views in the sky, it was easy for Metroman to spot their hideout, he knew to look for one, as they always operated within it. But this one in particular was very easy to pick out. It was an old, abandoned building, it was stained and smelled of smoke, and it was right in the middle of a quiet corner of the city. And that's not to mention that he saw some of Megamind's equipment lying outside in the alley. None of the invisible sheets worked on him since he saw the house from above.

He swooped down, heading straight for the door and swinging it apart with one blow. Minion rolled away, the bars of wood and stacks of chairs not even slowing down the attack. "Megamind! It's over, the police are already on their way." Metroman yelled.

"Don't even think of moving!" Megamind yelled back, holding his finger just above a button on the torture panel. "One more step, and she'll fall in the pool!" The point was more pronounced with the snapping of jaws and Roxanne's screams.

"You wouldn't." Metroman returned.

"Oh," Megamind giggled. "Ok, go ahead and try it then."

But Metroman hesitated for only a moment, then used his laser ability to melt the dashboard, then, as Megamind was still shocked, he ran with his super speed and grabbed Roxanne from the chair. Then he backed away with their captive, taking her to a safer position. Sirens were already growing louder.

Megamind jumped back as randoms sparks blew from the panel. Minion sighed, back up on his feet. "I guess that's it, Sir."

But Megamind wasn't totally let down. "For now, I suppose it is. But it's far from over, Minion, and now Roxanne Ritchi had her chance to be rescued by her hero. That should count for something."

"Sir," Minion asked again. "You mean to say we'll be using her again?"

"Of course, it's all part of the plan." He answered with a smile before the wicked laugh took over. Even with the handcuffs on his wrists and the ride back to the restored prison, the laugh carried on the whole way there, there it seemed to echo through the whole of Metrocity. The battle was won, but the war will continue.

It was far from over.

Author's Note: This one was based on a dialogue prompt, it happened when Minion saw Megamind enter the room with his hostage. "You know we have a no abduction policy." and "She wasn't cooperating, what was I supposed to do?"

It was fun, I never thought I would write a fic for Megamind, but the prompt was too perfect not to.