so i managed to fit every single one of my fave gay hp pairings into this fic, bar Sirius/James, though I'm sure i can have it mentioned somewhere...
Pairing(s): Lysander/Lorcan, Albus/Scorpius, bit of Scorpius/Lysander, mentions of Teddy/James + Fred/George
Disclaimer: if i were jk then i wouldn't i be selling this?
Warnings: lorra lorra slash, in case you haven't gather that yet :P, mentions of underage sex, drug abuse, strong language
Note: 'I can resist everything but temptation' from Lady Windermere's Fan by Oscar Wilde, 1892
1.
"You are a complete pussy, you know that?"
Lysander Scamander shushed his best friend impatiently.
Lily Potter huffed, "Just pointing out the obvious, my love."
"Well I wish you wouldn't!"
"Don't you think that your obsession with your brother is becoming très stalkeresque?" She asked a minute later while taking a brief drag from her smuggled-in cigarette.
Lysander stood up then, smoothing down his school robes and turning to glare at Lily, whose face was barely visible in the faint light from the Ravenclaw common room. There were hidden in the small alcove behind a tapestry. She always, always, found a way into Ravenclaw Tower, even when he didn't tell her the password. "He's gone now." He pouted.
"Aw, don't be sad, sweetheart, have a fag – all things illegal make life better."
"Like sex?" He enquired as he took one from the muggle packet she offered him.
"Exactly so," She said, looking pleased, "at least until we're sixteen, then it won't be as fun."
"I'm sure it will be." He consoled, lighting up with the tip of his wand.
"But fifteen is fun! Sixteen is, like, a landmark. One step closer to adulthood." She said miserably.
He scooped his arm around her, and let her lean her pile of messy flame-red hair against his chest. The next moment the corner of the tapestry was yanked back dramatically, and there, standing with the light of the common room surrounding him like a halo, was Lorcan Scamander, looking as furious as hell.
"Lysander!"
Lysander felt a squeak rising in his throat, before Lily pinched his waist viciously, and jerked him back to reality, and enabling him to come out with the oh-so-cool and collected, "Yes?" while raising his cigarette up to his lips once more.
Lorcan instantly tore it out of his twin's mouth, stomping on it angrily, "You said you'd quit!"
"Merlin, Lor, relax. It's just a fag."
Lorcan was turning a funny purple colour, "Come with me now!" He hissed, grabbing Lysander's arm and yanking him in the direction of the boy's dormitories. Over his shoulder, Lysander saw Lily beaming, and giving him an approving thumbs-up. He grinned back, seeing her older brother, Albus, noticing her and stomping over, clearly ready to deliver the big brother speech yet again. Lysander wished he was there to see it; watching Lily destroy someone's entire argument with just a few choice words was highly entertaining. Especially with Albus, when all she had to say was 'Scorpius Malfoy' for her big brother to clam up and start blushing profusely.
Anyhoo, Lysander tore himself away to stare at his brother's arse as he was led up the stairs, letting his mind slip into numerous fantasies of just what Lorcan would do to him when he got him in their dormitory...
But, to Lysander's everlasting disappointment, Lorcan merely sat him on his bed and delivered the age-old lecture about how bad it was for you, blah blah blah... Lysander passed the time by engaging in his favourite hobby; Lorcan-watching.
Whenever Lorcan got worked up, as he was now, his usually porcelain cheeks would flare up, with little crimson patches appearing along his cheekbones. His pale blue eyes were brighter than usual, and his lips were scarlet and wet due to the way the tip of his pink tongue kept darting out to lick them.
"Uh, Ly?"
"Uhuh?" Lysander's gaze didn't stray from his brother's mouth.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"It's fun."
Silence.
"Look, Lor, are you just gonna keep lecturing me, or are we doing to do something fun?"
Lorcan sighed, then reached his arms above his head, stretching, which caused his shirt to rise up, showing off his pale stomach and hips.
Jump his fit bones. Jump him. Jump him. Jump him. Jump him. A voice that sounded remarkably like Lily's was going round his head, Oh, for fuck's sake, Ly, JUMP HIM ALREADY!
Then Fred Weasley banged into the room. "Merlin, what a day!" He threw himself on his bed, then looked up at stared at them. "Ay up, lovebirds."
Lorcan blushed furiously and skittered over to his bed where he delved into his trunk and produced a thick, ugly book. Lysander was instantly jealous of the way Lorcan ran his fingers over the cover slowly, then opened it, tracing the words as he read them. Lysander jumped onto Fred for distraction. "So, how's your day been bad then?"
Fred pushed him off and Lysander fell back onto the other boy's bed.
"Well, you know that twat Malfoy?" Lysander nodded. Well, he knew of Scorpius Malfoy, and his infamous love/hate relationship with Albus Potter. "You know his sister, Hermia?" Lysander nodded again. Hermia Malfoy, utterly gorgeous, utterly fun and utterly any guy's perfect girl. Lysander also happened to know that Lorcan fancied the pants off the sixth-year. "Well she's like best mates with all my family, right? So I think to myself, 'hey, she'd do a good deed for a Weasley in need', so I go find her and ask her to get me a girlfriend." Lysander raised his eyebrows. "So she laughs and is like 'sure, but I don't know that many girls' then she wants to know if I've ever snogged anyone before. I say I have-"
"But you haven't." Lysander put in.
"Yeah, but I wanted to seem cool, you know? But she guessed I was lying anyway, and offered to teach me how to snog." Lysander noticed how Lorcan had put his book down, and was listening intently. "Then I was kinda like 'whaaa?', as you can guess, then she came like really close, and, well, you know."
"She snogged your face off?" Lysander guessed.
"Yeah."
"Woah...you got to kiss Hermia Malfoy!" Lorcan said, sounding awestruck.
"Everyone's sucked face with Hermia Malfoy." Lysander put in nastily.
"You haven't."
"Um..."
"What!"
"Bye, guys!"
"Lysander! Get back here now!" Lysander ignored his brother and fled.
A/N: review? pretty please with a cherry on top? or the cherry can be subsitutated for Lysander, or Scorpius, if that helps...
