Three Tyrants and a Fish


Ever wonder what would happen if our three favoritve Dragon Ball Z villains ever got an apartment together??? Well it's time to get those juices flowing, read up....this is written as diary entries....

Day One:

Dear Diary: Eeyah! It's me again! Your faithfull and humble friend, Buu! Great news I found an apartment!! And even better news...I'm sharing the rent with two other people who are a lot like me! How nifty is that?! Well that's about all I have time for right now...I have to move all of my stuff! Bye! ~Buu

Stupid Book: Yes I'm back...I know we've had our differences in the past...like that time I put you in the microwave....well no hard feelings eh? Well at any rate, I've started writing this again because I've aquired an apartment with two fellow villains. It proves to be an event to enjoy...I'm obviously the strongest out of the three, and obviously the smartest...the pink one seems to be a stark raving lunatic....ah well, one can't be picky. ~Cell

Captains Log: Bah...it's been my misfortune to fall in with inferior lifeforms. I'm being forced to live in an apartment with them and pay a third of the costs...It's lunacy I tell you! I am the great Freeza!!!! I am the strongest being in the universe! I don't deserve such treatment....but it's ok....I'll play along for now....and when they least suspect it...I'll show them...I'll show them ALL!!! BWAHAHAHAHA! ~Freeza

Day Two

Stupid Book: I was most definately right...I am the smartest of the three of us...when first entering the apartment with our belongings, the pink one marched straight into the closet and declared it was his room. And the short, odd one with glass on his head made an attempt to claim the master bedroom. I quelled that little uprising rather quickly, it's sad really...I took one step in his direction and he ran into the smaller room. We're still getting settled in, but everything should be fine within a day or two...it should not take as long for me to establish myself as the master of the apartment.... ~Cell

Captains Log: I fooled that doofy green guy today. When we entered the apartment with our things, I, for obvious reasons, felt need to stake my claim on the master bedroom. This did not appease the poor weak idiot, as he expressed by declaring he would "render me limb from limb". Well, I wasn't scared in the least, but I let him think I was...I pretended to flee for my life while moving my things into the smaller room. It's ok...I'll let him have the larger room for now...but he'll reap what he sows soon enough. Oh...and that pink idiot was flipping off of the table and into a soup bowl earlier....why are such pathetic lifeforms allowed to exist? *sigh* Ah well...I'll rectify the problem at the earliest opoortunity. ~Freeza

Dear Diary: YEEHAW!! This appartment is the BEST! There's a pool right in the kitchen! The diving board is shaped a bit oddly, but other than that, it's great! I pulled a fast one over my new roomates, though. Boy are they dumb....they were too busy fighting over the gym and the lounge to see me walk into the only bedroom in the apartment. I wonder why there's only one bedroom anyway...there seems to be an awfull lot of accessaries for a one bedroom apartment. Oh well...I guess I'll figure it out later. Bai bai! ~Buu

Day Three

Dear Diary: I bought us a pet today! It's a fish, can you believe it?! I walked into the store and there it was, looking straight back at me, and I just had to buy him! The man behind the counter said something about "money", but I think he was just pulling my leg. He was also shouting something about being sorry....what an odd person. Well, I'm very happy about the fish! I gave him his very own room, too! There was this big porcelain tank with no top that wasn't being used, so I filled it and let him use it. Freeza and Cell haven't seen him yet...I can't wait! Oh I nearly forgot! The names of my roomates are Freeza and Cell.....such strange names...why not have something more down to Earth, like Buu? Well I guess that nobody is be perfect. Bai bai! ~Buu

Stupid Book: I am perfect. It's not something that can be argued, it is a simple fact. I went out today to find a job, and I found three. One as a mall security guard, one as a receptionist, and one as a circus clown. Needless to say, I don't need to work at all three of these, I'll give them to Freeza and Buu...I believe Buu is best suited to be the circus clown, and Freeza would fail miserably at being a mall security guard, so I shall take that upon myself. I certainly had a productive day...not only did I find three jobs, but already I'm begining to aquire a small cult following. Even with all my power, I'll need a stick to keep those lovesick women at bay....no small task, there are quite a lot of them I'm afraid. ~Cell

Captains Log: Today was stupid...I left the apartment to look into aquiring some henchmen to do my evil deeds for me, and found nothing but common hoodlums. It's ok though, it's not like I NEED other people to do things for me, I just prefer it...why should I have to go out of my way to do such trivial things as taking over the world and exacting revenge? I'm the strongest being in the universe, if I REALLY wanted to, I would do all these things. What was even worse, when I returned home Cell, the weak green idiot, informed me that he got me a job as a receptionist. I accepted, but only because I'm not yet ready to make my move...for now I shall play his game...and on top of all that, Buu...the idiotic pink one, was ranting and raving about his "nifty new pet". I had no idea what he meant and did not care to find out... ~Freeza

Day Four

Captains Log: Today was a complete wash....this morning I was assaulted by a maniacal aqautic animal in our bathtub. It must have been an extremely powerfull creature, for it beat me ruthlessly until the one called Buu came and fed it from a small bottle. I obviously underestimated this Buu, for his control over this mammoth of power was uncanny. He did however yell at me for invading in "Spot's Tank"....I suppose he meant that power hoarding monster in the bathtub. At any rate, I spent the rest of the day on the couch eating ice cream and ding-dongs, trying to think of evil things to do to the universe while recovering from my wounds. First things first though....this "Spot" must be stopped....if he conquers the universe before I do, I'll never be able to forgive myself.....~Freeza

Dear Diary: Can you believe that mad man Freeza tried to invade Spot's tank? Oh....I named the fish Spot, because he has a black spot over his face. That Freeza is just a bad person.....when I heard the noise I went running over to check on Spot, I thought he might have called his friends and started a party. But when I got in there, I found Freeza in Spot's tank!! I figured that he must be visiting him, so I called Spot over to give him his breakfast. Freeza made such a ruckuss and stormed out of the bathroom, so I told him never to invade Spot's tank again. I guess some people are just stupid....invading a poor fish's tank like that. He even said that Spot didn't belong there! Of all the nerve! After that, I left the house to go work at this nifty new job that Cell got me! He said he got one for Freeza too, but he hasn't told him yet. It doesn't really matter, I have the coolest job of all! I get to be a comic actor in a big tent inside the park! It's just so nifty!! The people really like my acting, they were laughing so hard! Well, I'm off to bed now...which reminds me, the beds in my room are very narrow... ~Buu

Stupid Book: My roomates are morons....first of all, that moronic Buu bought a Japanese Fighting Fish and put him in the bathtub, without telling anybody. And then that idiot Freeza went in to take a bath and tried to attack the fish. He doesn't know it, but I was watching him while he was doing it. When he saw the fish in the tub, he stopped dead in his tracks and started snickering. Then he pointed at the fish and declared that it's death would usher in his reign of terror. I fought the urge to laugh, I was intrigued, but then that bumbling idiot made to dash at the fish and slipped. He hit the tub headfirst and then slide into the wall. He got up and looked at the fish in such horror....I guess he thought that the fish did it. At any rate, he jumped into the tank to hit the fish, but he missed, hit his knee on the rim of the tub, and flipped in. The fish wasn't too happy about being disturbed and actually attacked him. Freeza was cowering against the wall when I left. When I got to work at the mall, they told me to put on this tacky uniform. I of course refused, and my boss was about to yell at me when I showed him a good reason not to by throwing him into the wall. He didn't aruge much after that, and I went about my business of guarding the mall. That's another matter entirely, there was this juvenile delinquient who tried to shoplift. Needless to say, I killed him and returned the stolen goods to the store. After that, everything was pretty quiet. ~Cell

Day Five:

Dear Diary: Another great day as a comic actor! My boss even gave me a bonus today! Now I get a whole ten dollars!!! I must be the luckiest guy in existance! I felt so good when I got home that I decided to do some training in the gym. It's pretty fragile for a training area....most of the stuff inside blew up right away. I guess I'll have to replace everything, but that shouldn't be too hard. Oh yeah, and I found a note by Spot's tank today...it said "A token of peace" and it was next to a little hat. I don't know where it came from, but I put the hat on Spot's head, and he liked it!! He even did a few flips! Well, I'm pretty tired again...my job is fun, but tiring. Bai bai! ~Buu

Stupid Book: When I got home today I found my room a wreck. The only one home at the time was Buu, so I asked him what happened. That idiot said that the gym was kind of fragile, but it was nothing to worry about because he was going to replace everything. I've never met such an idiot....I told him that it wasn't a gym and he looked at me like I had three heads. I have no idea where Freeza is, and frankly I don't care. Oh...and all those women tried to rape me when I left the house this morning. I was forced to fly to work. Being perfect is a chore at times....~Cell

Captains Log: I left a small peace offering for that monster today, then I spent the day on the roof. I had to sort out my thoughts. I had a trying ordeal today as well...there was an evil flock of winged creatures up on the roof with me, and they tried to kill me. I showed them who was boss though....I managed to kill one of them and the rest of them fled in terror. It took most of my power to accomplish killing this one, and I'm glad that my plan worked.....~Freeza

Day Six:

Stupid Book: That damned Buu wrecked my room again! I swear to it, I'm going to kill him....but that's not even half of the problem. He gave that damned fish of his a bowl on wheels, and now the thing is free to travel on it's own. I tripped over the damned thing, and Buu had the gaul to yell at me for attacking it. On top of all that, a lawyer came to the house and handed me a summons for the events at the mall. He forced me to kill him. I'm forgetting something...that damned fish managed to knock over the refrigerator. The kitchen is now a mess, and all Buu can do is roll around on the floor and clap his hands like a three year old child. This is begining to work my nerves, and it hasn't even been a week....~Cell

Captains Log: I've finally come up with the perfect scheme! Tommorow I'm going to kill that moronic green idiot before he goes to work. I'll catch him from behind as he's leaving! It's the perfect plan...and if that bumbling pink idiot wants to jump in, I'll destroy him as well....as long as that devious creature doesn't attack me. My vengence will finally be fullfilled, and soon enough I'll destroy that hideous monster as well....

Dear Diary: I had a great work out in the gym before work today....but work wasn't all that great today....I just found out that I'm not a comic actor...I'm a clown!!!!! Those people were laughing AT me!!!! I can't believe this!! I've been crying all day, I'm so upset! I spent most of the day in my room, coming out only to give Spot his new moving tank and to play with him a little bit. He made me happy, but then I went back into my room. ~Buu

Day Seven:

Fools: Today was the day of all days. Freeza attacked Cell as he was leaving the house today, and Cell beat the living hell out of him. Buu woke up and started to fight Cell to defend Freeza. Freeza took this opportunity to attack them both, and they teamed up to slaughter him. None of them saw me coming as I rolled up in my transportation vehicle and charged up a massive beam of power. When they finally realized, it was too late, and I was already upon them. Freeza was fragged beyond all belief, Cell and Buu both reformed. I knew that I could have destroyed them both right then and there, and they knew it too...I read their minds....but I decided against it. I turned my hat around backwards and rolled out of the apartment to start my reing of terror. No one can stop me!!! ~Spot