DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gakuen Alice or the characters.
J: So, this used to be a oneshot but then, I decided that I'll make this a two-shot story since I find it troublesome to post another story as a sequel of this. I revised the entire story since someone told me that the previous one was crappy. Yeah, thanks for that. Sorry for being gone for a long time. I was busy with some things that I didn't have time to write anymore. At the beginning of the story, Mikan was 19, Natsume, Ruka and Hotaru were 20 while Tsubasa and Misaki are 22.
Letting Go
im-your-genie
"You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you"
All Again for You- We the Kings
"Does he even love me at all?" Mikan asked herself a question that's hard for her to answer. She knew that she wants him to love her as much as she loves him and she could always try to convince herself that he does in order not to feel pain. But no, she had been asking herself this kind of question from herself since the day both of them started dating. She had her doubts on him up until now. "I guess I really am that dumb not to notice that from the start, he never did. He only loves me when he's drunk or when I'm physically wounded." She concluded as tears came running down her angelic face.
She loved him too much and left almost nothing to herself. Three years of being together was quite a torture to Mikan since all those years, she never felt his love or was he just being too secretive of what he feels? She even swore to herself that she would leave him if she can. But then again, she loves him too much to just leave him. As she cried herself to sleep, memories of what used to be flashed on her mind. They were as vivid as ever. That night, she dreamt of something from her past.
She was walking alone in the mall when she received a text message from Natsume. A smile crossed upon her face as she opened the message. Excitement overwhelmed her since it has been days since they last talked to each other.
"Mikan, Natsume's drunk and had started a fight with a bunch of older dudes here. Come here quick. It's the usual place. – Ruka."
That was what Ruka said as she sighed upon disappointment.
'Maybe I was disappointed because it wasn't Natsume who texted me. But then, maybe it's because he's getting himself into a physical fight again.' She thought to herself as she rushed to the place where Natsume's at.
As she arrived, she already saw Natsume on top of one guy and the others were on the ground. They immediately stood up and pulled Natsume away from their companion and started punching him but Natsume dodged them. Mikan ran to him and tried to pull him away from the fight. But Natsume being stubborn pushed her away and continued punching one dude.
He had tackled one of them on the floor and punched him on the face when one of them grabbed a chair and aimed to hit Natsume's back with it.
'No! Please… Don't do it.' Mikan cried in her head. Ruka on the other hand, being weak in fist fights can do nothing to help his buddy. Things happened too fast. Mikan was just standing among the crowd and the next thing they knew, she became Natsume's human shield.
Natsume's eyes widened as he stopped punching the dude. He went to hug Mikan's fragile body as his opponents ran away with fear.
The chair didn't break but she can feel great pain in her arms. There was blood flowing out of her open wound. Her body weakened as her vision started to get blurry. Natsume kept calling her name as she slowly lost her consciousness.
"Don't leave me." That was what she last heard from him.
Hours have passed and she still hasn't gained her consciousness. She was weak, what can they do? She needs a lot of rest. Her wound was already properly treated and Natsume's waiting for her to wake up.
He looked at her as a teardrop fell from his eye. He was guilty of what happened, that's for sure. He even swore to himself that he'd kill those guys if ever he sees them again.
"Don't leave me, okay?"
He said as she shifted a little and slowly opened her eyes. She smiled weakly as she saw Natsume by her side. But Natsume being himself went back to his old expressionless self where no one can determine what's on his mind.
"How are you?" She asked him.
"You're the one lying on the hospital bed and you're asking about my condition?" He asked her. He wasn't surprise by her question though. She knows that she's really selfless and that's what people love about her.
"I'm sorry." She sadly whispered.
"Why did you do that? I never asked for your help."
"I'm sorry." She repeated as tears fell down from her eyes.
"Shh. It's okay." He uttered as he wiped her tears away. He kissed her so genuinely that she felt like she's the happiest woman on earth. She had never felt so much love in such a quick kiss. It wasn't like any of the other kisses he gave her which were full of lust.
She spent another two days in the hospital before she was released. He became very caring to her. He stopped drinking and spent most of his time with her.
A month and a half has passed and her wound was completely healed. With that, Natsume came back to his previous self in an instant. Every night was hard for Mikan since Natsume's always drunk and she's the only one who could take care of him since he's living alone. "I love you." Those were his words whenever he sees Mikan taking care of him while he's drunk. She wakes up early since she wants him to have a good breakfast. But by the time he wakes up, he's back to his usual cold self. She often thought the hurtful words he threw at her were just the results of her hang over. Oh how wrong she was…
She suddenly woke up because of the dream she had. Again, her eyes released salty liquid called tears. She cried until she can cry no more. Damn she was tired of it. Nonetheless, it was for the guy she loves most. She went to the bathroom and took a quick bath. She dressed herself nicely for her so-called date with her boyfriend. Her eyes were still puffy and red due to crying. A single look at her and someone would've already guessed what she has been up to the entire night.
She took a good walk to the part since it was just 1 pm and they were supposed to see each other at 1:30. An hour has passed but no trace of Natsume has been seen.
"He's probably on his way here." – was Mikan's conclusion as she stared at her phone waiting for a call or a text message from her boyfriend.
An hour has passed… two hours… three hours, but still no sign of Natsume.
"Oh, it's already night time. Where is he? Was he sick?" She asked herself as she decided to go to Natsume's house. She knocked and knocked but no one answered. Since she has spare keys in Natsume's house, she used it and entered. But then, nobody was home. There was no sign of her beloved boyfriend. She was starting to get worried but she convinced herself that he just probably went to someplace with his friends.
She texted him but there was no reply.
Days have passed and she still hasn't heard anything from him.
Days were turned into weeks and weeks were turned into months.
There was never a single day that she didn't texted, emailed or tried to call him. But still, she gets no response from him or whatsoever. Her text messages and emails were probably deleted already without being read by him. Her calls were unanswered too. She literally sends him one hundred text messages a day. She thought it was a dumb thing to do, but she's desperate. Natsume dying had also come across her mind but she refused to believe that he would die without her knowing about it. Of course, it would be in the news or his friends especially Ruka would inform her about it, right?
Every beep of her cell phone and every ring of her phone, she hopes it was him.
On her birthday, which is the first of January, she slept soundly in her room dreaming about whatever when her cell phone beeped. She had a new message. Still feeling sleepy, she looked at the sender of the message.
It was him.
She almost jumped for joy having read his name on her phone and she was excited as ever upon opening the message.
But her smile turned upside down upon reading it.
Happy Birthday polka, guess what? I got a new girlfriend.
~ Natsume.
"I didn't remember us breaking up. Have we broken up without me knowing about it?" she asked herself as she remembered the time when he ditched her. Yeah, they're probably over since that day, she concluded. Pain was inevitable when the person you love finds another and you didn't have a proper closure. She can't control her tears anymore so she let them all out as she replied to his message trying to sound unaffected. You can easily mask your true feelings anyway, it's just a text message; he can't even see what her expression was.
Thank you Natsume and congratulations. Good luck to the two of you.
~ Mikan.
Mikan waited for his reply but he didn't respond to her text message anymore. She asked herself what she had done wrong to receive that kind of fate. But she hasn't done anything wrong, has she? No… she was trying to make things work for the two of them but Natsume, well… being his real self did almost nothing.
"How stupid of me to cry over a guy who left me 5 months ago." She uttered as she laughed at herself. Yeah, she probably is stupid. But she's someone who can love truly.
AFTER THREE YEARS…
It's been three years since that day when Natsume told her that he has already found another… the day when he gave her up. The wound's still fresh in him but hey, he's not the only one in pain. Mikan still is. She hasn't moved on yet.
"She's now free from me, huh? I bet she's already happy with someone that she loves. Maybe she's even going out with Andou. He likes her, I think." Natsume thought as he strode along the street. There was never a day that he didn't think of her… the girl who used to belong to him. As he scanned the busy street of Tokyo, he saw someone very familiar to him; someone who has never failed to make his heart skip a beat. It was the love he had been longing for far too long, it was Mikan with the shadow freak, err Tsubasa.
"So… they're together now? Tsk, how incompatible. But I know he'll be a better boyfriend that I had never beeen." He thought.
The two were walking side by side and Mikan being the talkative one, talked non-stop. While she was busy telling Tsubasa what happened to her for the past three years, she stopped on her tracks. Flabbergasted as she was, she found herself staring to a pair of crimson orbs. What shocked her most was seeing him run away.
"What the heck?" – thought Mikan and Tsubasa.
As Natsume entered his house, he sat down on the floor and thought about what happened earlier.
"I suppose I looked like a coward for running away just like that. But I can't stand it… the Natsume can't seem to face the love he has given up on." He thought as his vision started to get blurry. Tears fell from his eyes. Again, he cried for his first and last love.
Meanwhile…
Tears also fell from Mikan's eyes.
"Mikan… he's not worth it. Just let it be." Tsubasa said as he hugged her.
"Thank you sempai. I hope you and Misaki-sempai will have a healthy baby. I think I should get going now. Thanks again for the time, good bye." She said as she waved a good bye to her sempai.
That night, she cried herself to sleep as she reminisced her past up until now.
She had a wonderful dream. She dreamt that Natsume was there with her. They were happy together and were already married with three kids.
Sadly, it was just in her wildest dreams that she can see that kind of future. "Natsume, I love you." Those were the words that escaped her lips before her dream has turned into a nightmare she never expected. Well it was dream anyway, expect the unexpected.
J: Still crappy? Oh well… Sorry if I have mistakes, it's already 4 am when I typed this so my mind can't think clearly. The second chapter will be posted in two days. Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews, btw.
