A/N: All right, this is the first of a ten-part challenge that KyoxSakiFan put me up to. The opening category is to be, 'humor/crack'. So I logically chose something that has two characters with common aspects that can argue with one another. So here's a little thing with Spock and Pai doing absolutely nothing of importance. Enjoy~
Random fact: my pal SaccharineDreams helped me come up with this idea during a phone conversation. X3
Another random fact: the style of which this is written is based off of the 'I'm a Marvel, and I'm a DC' videos on youtube, which themselves are a parody of the 'I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC' commercials. So… um… this is a parody of a parody?
Yeah.
Hullo, my name is Pai, and I'm an alien, although my ancestors once lived on Earth.
Greetings, my name is Spock, and I am also an alien, with the exception of my mother, whom is a human from Earth.
Kisshu and Taruto often label me as the 'serious one'.
In comparison to the crew of the Enterprise, I am considered the 'stoic one'.
I have pointed ears, paler flesh, and elongated canine teeth.
I also have pointed ears and paler flesh, but my teeth are quite regular.
My blood is iron-based like a human's, so it is red.
Despite the human half of my heritage, my blood is that of any other Vulcan's; copper-based and green.
I have an extremely high IQ, and tend to be overly analytical.
I am the same.
We truly are similar, aren't we, Spock?
Indeed, Pai. Except you are one of the Japanese cartoon world, and I am one of the American live-action world.
So now people are comparing drawn characters to acting ones?
Apparently so.
Well, I'm not at all sure I want to be apart of such a comparison.
Neither am I, Pai, but we must for the entertainment of the internet-founded, 'fanfiction'-reading masses.
In that case, I shall go on to say that people often insist on pairing me up with what is supposed to be the enemy.
May I ask their names?
Lettuce, and Zakuro. Two girls from the Mew Mew squad.
Ah, I see. If it reassures you any, I am often coupled romantically with my captain.
…Isn't he male?
Correct, my captain is male. His name is James Tiberius Kirk.
…Hmm.
Is that a spark of amusement in your eye, Pai?
It is. My apologies, Spock, but that is highly amusing to me. What are you views on this matter?
I would like not to express them.
Why not?
Instead, I would like to mirror the question. What are your views on the romantic relationships people set you up in?
Personally, I see nothing wrong with either of them, because at least both are female choices.
Touché, Pai.
But, to make you feel better, I will mention that I have been known to be paired with Kisshu as well.
Your traveling companion?
Yes. Although he is more of a nuisance than anything else.
So you do not feel any affection towards him, then?
There are rare moments when he is like a younger brother to me, but outside of that, no. As irritating as Taruto can be, I prefer his company over Kisshu's. Kisshu… well, let's simply say that his opinions are far different than my own.
So you two often come to disagreements.
Yes.
Fascinating… it is not too unlike how Jim and I first started off.
Oh?
…If you are urging me to say more, I will not. Now then, what other comparisons shall we discuss?
I get the notion that you are avoiding the fanfiction coupling topic, but I will follow your lead. Let's see… Hmm. I am calm in unsettling situations.
As am I, with the exception of a moment or two of… emotional compromise.
I dare not ask.
It would be best if you didn't.
Anyhow, in moments of complication, my logic pulls through and guides me out of tough situations.
I, too, am I fan of what is logical.
But, in moments of truth, I follow my 'heart' and do what I feel is right. I died this way, though I came back to life thanks to Mew Aqua.
I was told by my older self to do what I felt was 'right', despite how illogical such a phrase can seem at first glance. I have yet to do something truly tasking that will threaten my life, though I have cut it close.
Cut it close?
I nearly collided with another ship, my own full of Red Matter.
Red Matter, I assume, is the polar opposite of Mew Aqua.
You assume justly.
Ah.
On another note, is there much more to compare?
I'd say not. We have many similarities, you and I.
The similarities are… frightening. Perhaps your creators stole the idea of your character from my own? As it is, I came first.
It's certainly a possibility.
Hmm. Fascinating.
You tend to say that a lot.
I hear that you tend to say 'interesting' on occasion yourself.
This I can't deny. But for me, many things so spark my interest.
With that said, are we done here?
I'd like to think so.
Then I wish you to live long and prosper, Pai.
And I wish you to find the truth in your feelings towards your captain, Spock.
…That was hardly called for.
But it was fun.
I do not deal in fun.
Now and then I do.
If you would please remove the smug smirk from your lips and depart with me on peaceful terms, I shan't have to order an attack on your ship as soon as I come into contact with it in space.
Is that a threat, Spock?
It will be if you do not comply.
Ahem… in that case, consider my smirk wiped. Farwell, Spock.
Same to you, Pai.
