Authors Notes: Yeap. Here i am w/ another oneshot. cant help myself, there MUCH more easier to make xD. anyways... since nobody reviewed just a smile, i thought i'd make this instead. im hoping it'll be more successful. really guys, i could use ur input!
Disclaimer: Don't own anything. HA, i wish i did xD
Summary: (ONESHOT) "There it was, staring up at me. Why at me? Stop looking at me you... thing. Turn those blue eyes away from me. Just because I loved your mother, doesn't mean I'll love you..." DMHG. RR. Flames will do! Please READ!
Baby Blue Eyes
I remember, long before this happened, my little fling with Granger. Or... Granger Weasley, now. It wasn't anything like I thought it would be. Being Draco Malfoy, all I wanted was... well, the sex. I had no idea it would become more than that. It wasn't a one-night stand, of course not. I mean, I really did love her. She loved me to. But... she's the one that left me, you know. I don't know why, and I still wonder every now and then. She couldn't honestly love the Weasley boy more than me? No, she couldn't have. She just couldn't stand the lies and deception we had to go through. At least... I think. Well, I guess that happens when you're with a Malfoy.
There I sat, alone, in a waiting room in St. Mungo's. She was giving birth at the moment, I suppose. The delivery room was far off from where I was, so I couldn't hear her screaming or anything. When I was on my way to the waiting room, I saw Potter rushing down the corridor, probably hoping to be there for the big moment. Of course she'd invite her two best friends to be with her for this day. But not me. I had to find out from Ginny, who knew about our relationship earlier before Hermione married Weasley. Lucky thing that she invited me. I wanted to be with Hermione when it happened. But with the most over-protective husband and best friend in the entire wizarding world with her, how can I?
I guess I'm kind of replaying my history with Hermione in the back of my head right now. It was so long ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Probably because it was the happiest period of my life, when I spent everyday with her. We couldn't tell anybody about us, of course. She didin't want to. Neither did I. But if it somehow came out, I wouldn't have cared. But she would've. We had a fight one day and that ruined everything I had with her. I completely forgot why we fought in the first place. She broke it off and ran to the Weasel for comfort. They ended up dating, and marrying in the same month that she broke it off. I couldn't believe she got over me so quickly. And now 9 months later, she's here. Giving birth. Pretty hard to believe we wouldn't end up together.
Lifting my head slightly, I saw two medi-wizards rushing passed my door, rolling along a trolley of medical equipment that was set on a flat, rectangular pan. The female one was talking about something to the male medi-wizard, sprinting beside her. I wonder why they're in a hurry. Better check it out. "Room 105, correct? Female witch giving birth?"
The other one panted while trying to keep up. "Right. Nurses say it's an emergency. Apparent blood loss from the mother." The female medi-wizard nodded quickly and they both ran off, in a bigger hurry, making clanky noises with the equipment on the pan.
What did they just say? Apparent blood loss from a female witch giving birth in room 105? That poor woman. Must be exhausted. Wait, that couldn't be Hermione's room could it? Surely she's not the only one giving birth today? Impossible. Did they say anything about the baby? Oh, whatever. It's probably not Hermione's room. She's one of the strongest witches I know, she can handle child birth.
Slowly, I walked back to my chair, realizing that I stood up. I rested my head in my hands, waiting, waiting... For some reason, that I just don't know why, my stomach was in knots. Something didn't feel right. I felt nervous. Like something was going to happen, something I couldn't stop. I hate these feelings. It's best to just forget them. And so that's what I'll do. Forget them. Hermione's going to have Weasley's baby just fine, and I'll tell her that I'm proud of her. Nothing to worry about. Absolutely nothing.
--2 HOURS LATER--
Finally it happened. After so long, I can finally see Hermione. And the baby, I guess. I mean, I don't really want to see it, but if she insists I do then I will. But I have to wait for the others to leave... God, I want to see her so badly. I have to. I need to. I'll burst if I don't. Screw it, I'm going to see her now. I don't care if the red and Potter see me. I'll just shove them off like I usually do.
I walked out of the waiting room hoping to find a medi-wizard who could tell me her room number. It won't take a while. My body felt exhausted even though I didn't do anything. It was 1:06 am, and my eyes were drooping. Sleep could wait. My meeting with Hermione couldn't. I want to see her. I want to see her now.
"Excuse me," I say to a passing nurse, "I'm looking for the room in which Ms Hermione Granger Weasley is in. I believe she just gave birth. Can you please give me her room number?" The nurse I spoke to looked startled at first, for I snatched her wrist just so I could speak to her. But after asking her what room Hermione was in she softened her look. She looked at me sadly.
"Mister...?" She said quietly.
"Malfoy. Mr Malfoy," I said impatiently. Dear God, woman, just give me her damn room number.
"Well, Mr Malfoy, I suggest you go speak to the father of the child, or her friends that were in the room. Mr Potter, her best friend, I suppose you know him? He's in the baby room at the moment, where we keep the new borns in their cribs. Talk to him, he will tell you everything."
What would Potter have to tell me? Why couldn't she? "Listen, Miss, I know you're trying to help, but I need her room number, not her friends."
"I'm sorry, I can't help you then, Mr Malfoy." She looked at me once more, with that same sad look, and turned on her heel, walking away swiftly. Great. Just what I need. A freaking detour with Potter before I speak to Hermione. What the heck is going on? The knots in my stomach are getting even worse. I don't need this.
I literally sprinted my way to the baby room which was one floor beneath. No need to take the elevator. To many people would be on it, and it would take forever. So I took the stairs. I didn't care that I had to push and shove people out of my way, I just needed to see Hermione. I had to know what was going on. Something felt wrong... and I was going to find out what it was.
As I entered the floor, I stopped running, and slowed my pace. The baby room, the baby room, where is it...? I looked on either side of the hall I was walking through. Not here. Maybe it's on the end of the hall? It must be. I sped up, frantically searching for that one room. Where the hell is it! I need to find it. I need to find it now... where the hell is -
And there I found it. A secluded area, on the very left end of the corridor. Of course it would be secluded, it had sleeping babies in it. Draco, your such an idiot. The room was far off, all by itself. It wasn't really near to any other room. The medium-sized chamber had a square glass you could look through, to see the babies. I sped up, to see if Potter was inside.
"Potter?" I called out, walking towards the tiny room.
"I'm right here." Said a deep voice. It emerged out of a dark corner in the hall. He was staring through the glass, looking at the babies. Something looked wrong with him. Could he be... teary-eyed? That's definitely not a look I had ever seen on him before. Not in front of me. I walked up closer to him.
"S-S-omething wrong, Potter?"
He looked me up and down and took one step back with a disgusted look. What? What'd I do? "What the hell are you doing here, Malfoy?" Oh. That's why he looked at me that way. Well, can't a guy be here to talk to the woman he loves? Of course, he doesn't know.
"I was in the neighbourhood. Visiting some of the old folk, you know," I said, shrugging, like it was no big deal. "I was walking along when I heard a nurse passing by say that Granger -"
"Granger Weasley," he interrupted quickly. I ignored it.
" - was in labour. And I thought I'd see how she was doing. You know, maybe give the mudblood some moral support." It pained me to say that, but I had to make my excuse seem real. I didn't think she was a dirty mudblood anymore. I thought she was a beautiful mudblood. No, just joking. She was nothing of the word.
Potter lifted an eyebrow and was silent for a moment. He turned away from me and started to pace in front of the room. Back and forth he would walk, not replying to what I had said. Well, why the hell not? Was something wrong? God, if someone would just tell me her room number. "It doesn't matter anymore," he said quietly, continuing to pace. He didn't look me in the eye. Potter took off his glasses and covered his eyes, wiping them. What the hell? Did I just hear a tiny sob come from him? He sucked in his breath. "Did you come here to see the baby?"
"No, Potter. I thought I said I came to see Granger. Granger Weasley" I added quickly. I tapped my foot impatiently. What is he getting to? Why is he not responding to anything I say about Hermione? "Just give me her damn room number, Potter! I want to speak to her. I don't need this hold-up alright? I'm a busy man, so just tell me where she is." I folded my arms around my chest. The raven-haired boy I knew from school looked weak. He still didn't answer me. Bloody hell. I didn't want this to take all day. He quit his pacing, and stopped to look through the glass once more. He was looking at a baby. In the farthest left corner. In a pink blanket.
"That's the baby, you know. That's Hermione's child." He lifted his chin slightly in the direction towards the baby girl. I looked that way, and suddenly, my mind was blank. All my thoughts, worries and questions were erased. The baby was sleeping soft and sound. And for some reason... I felt connected. Connected to Hermione and Ron's baby. "Beautiful, isn't she? Just like her mother..." Harry stared at her for a while, with a sad look, and then continued to slowly pace. I snapped my attention back to him.
"So.. it's a... a girl?" I asked like I was dumbfounded.
"Yup," he said, "an adorable, 5 and half pound, baby girl." I nodded slowly, taking it in one at a time. I don't know why I felt this way. The child wasn't mine, but I wanted to hold it.
"That's... nice," I said lamely. I sighed slowly, longingly almost. "So... where is she, Potter? Where's Hermione?" He looked up at me slowly. The tears were gone from his eyes. He scrunched up his forehead, as if he were thinking, and ran his hand through his hair. He exhaled slowly as if he hadn't taken a breath in years. He was making me nervous. "Where is she for God's sake?" I demanded, much louder than before. He looked at me straight in the eye.
"In Heaven now, I suppose," he sighed once more, "Malfoy, she's - " and he looked at me sadly. In Heaven? Why would she be in Heaven? Hermione should be in the delivery room, resting, thinking of a name for her baby girl. This is preposterous. What a silly answer. The only reason she'd be in Heaven is if she were -
" - dead." He finished.
Dead?
I couldn't believe it. No way. How? When? Why? She was looking so forward to taking care of her child, to being a mother. And now... she's dead? I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I wouldn't let Potter see me like this, he'd only get suspicious. I turned away from him. God, this is impossible. There's no way that this could've happened. Especially to Hermione. She was a good person. She... didn't deserve -
"H-How?" I choked out. I tried to cover it up by using a pretend cough. I don't think he noticed that my eyes were swimming with tears. I pretended to scratch them. And then he tried patting me on the shoulder. I took a step away from him. "I'm fine." I said sharply. He backed off quickly.
"I know, it's sad. You could've had the time to tell her you were sorry for the way you treated her back in school. But... it's too late now, Malfoy. She's... gone." I looked at him maliciously. He had no idea why I was crying. That imbecile. I felt his voice crack, but he kept it steady. "I'll wonder now... what would have happened if she were still alive." God, Potter didn't even know that I hardly cared about what he was saying. I was an idiot, I didn't visit her when I should've. Then I would've been able to tell her that I loved her.
"How." I said, even more sharper. I didn't want him to see that I was actually affected by her death. Like I said before, nobody knew about us, but Ginny. So, I had to act like I didn't care. But I do. God, I do, so much.
Potter took a shuddered breath. "Blood loss." He said plainly. That was Hermione? That was the mother who had apparent blood loss from giving birth? Oh God, now I'm an even bigger idiot. My eyes glistened even more with tears. I tried my best to hold them, but they just fell down my cheeks quietly. This was unbelievable. It wasn't even sinkning in yet. "After she gave birth to the baby, they let Hermione hold her for a minute. She smiled so hard. And then she just... lost it. Her eyes went droopy, her arms went limp, and Ron didn't know what to do. Before we knew it, the nurses were shoving us out of the room, and a medi-wizard took the baby and placed her in here. Ron didn't even get a last look at Hermione when we were being pushed out of the room. But I did. Even some last few words." I widened my already wet eyes, and wiped them quickly.
I turned around and asked hurriedly "What? What did she say?" Potter took my shoulder and grasped it for a minute. He wasn't crying, but he definitely looked weaker and paler than I had ever seen him before. You could see that he wanted to have a serious break down right there, but, he wouldn't let himself.
"She told me to tell someone that she loved them... and she smiled at me sadly one last time... and then, they pushed me out." I widened my eyes once more. Did I hear what I think I just heard? She said what? I felt completely baffled.
"Who did she say it was?" I asked. I tried to make it sound careless. God, I knew I should've come and visited her!
"I don't know," You don't think it could've been for me? She could have told me herself...! If what she said was meant for me at least. God damn it! Now I'll never know... Potter tightend his grip on my shoulder. "but, I'll be sure to tell Ron she said so," he finished. Bloody hell. Potter thinks it was meant for Weasley. Yeah right. It was meant for me! At least... I think.
I turned around and faced him. I felt a little sympathetic for him. Trust me, this would be one of the only times I would make an acception to being sympathetic to Potter. His best friend, and the woman I loved, just died. I felt that I had to say something to comfort him. What could I possibly tell him that would make him feel better?
"Listen, I'm really sorry, Potter." I said lamely. Well, what else could I say?
He nodded and said, "Thanks." He was very quiet. He looked down for what felt like an eternity, and finally looked up to face me. "I'll be in the cafeteria. I think Ron's there, crying himself to death. Should've seen his face when we got the news..." I nodded to show him I heard him, and he walked away with a small wave of his hand. I think I heard him sob after he was a few steps away from me.
So, there I was, standing all alone, thinking about Hermione. The news that she had died... completely devestated me. I felt like I had nothing to live for. But, there was that little voice in my head, telling me, 'Yes. Yes, you do.' My eyes watered once more, and I began to cry softly to myself. I choked on sob after sob, feeling the saddest that I've ever felt in my entire life. I felt worthless. Then it hit me. The baby. Hermione's baby.
I realized that this was the perfect chance, here, all by myself, to have a moment with her baby. There would be no way in hell that the Weasley's would let me go near the child, so, now, was better then anytime to see it. And I wouldn't wait for another chance to see it. The last time I waited... it was too late. So I walked slowly through the door, and into the baby room. I took each step slowly, as if there were 50 pounds attached to each leg. It took me a lifetime to get to the baby girl on the farthest left corner of the room.
It was sleeping soundly. Making that soft noise that babies always make when they're sleeping. I suddenly felt bitter and cold toward it. I don't know why, but... it was like the thing wanted me to love it, by just sitting there. Well, there was only one girl I've loved, and you won't replace her, I thought bitterly. I narrowed my eyes, looking at the baby.
And then, it opened it's eyes. There it was, staring up at me. Why at me? Stop looking at me you... thing. Turn those blue eyes away from me. Just because I loved your mother, doesn't mean I'll love you...
Then it hit me. Blue eyes? Hermione and Weasley both have brown eyes. How can they have a child with blue eyes? I looked at the baby more closely now. Taking in all of it's features. It had Hermione's mouth. I laughed inwardly. Hermione's mouth was so unique. It had her lips, nose, ears and even a little brown hair. For once, a Weasley child didn't have red hair. Her skin wasn't normal though. It looked... different. And it's eyes. They looked so familiar.
I took a step closer to the crib and squinted at the baby's eyes. It looked back at me, and chuckled, raising it's arms up at me, and making a grab for my head with her fingers. I backed off with a disgusted look. I've never been to good with children. She looked crestfallen and stopped. Good, I thought. I continued what I was doing, and peered down at her blue eyes. It was blue alright. Baby blue. And it even had speckles of grey all over it. Grey speckles. Just like my eyes.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rewind. How does that happen? Hermione's child, having all of her features, but my eyes? My unique pair of eyes? On her and Ron's child? I stretched out my hand and carressed the baby's cheek softly. And the skin... that pale skin. Sure it was pale... but it was glowing. Like mine does. Her complexion is just like mine.
Waaait a minute. This is a bit weird. There isn't a chance that maybe... this isn't her and Ron's child after all? Maybe it's... mine? Impossible. Sure we had sex, but then she married Weasley! This can't be right. She would've told me. She would let me know, before letting Weasley think it was his child, right?
...No, she wouldn't have. I know Hermione, and the minute she found out she was pregnant, she would have convinced herself to think that it was Ron's. Even if she knew deep down it was mine. Holy shit. This isn't right! That skin! Those eyes... there's no other explanation. It's not some genetic glitch, or some simple mishap. It can't have my eyes, exactly unless it were -
"Mine..." I whispered.
That's why I felt so connected to it. That's why... I felt like holding her. It all makes sense. Merlin, what am I going to do? Do I tell them? Do I break the heart of an already broken hearted family? I can't do that, even if I am a Malfoy. This has to be kept secret. I can still care for the baby... I just can't let them know it belongs to me. I'll send it gifts every year, make sure it's pampered well, but I won't let her know who her real father is... that's right.
It was all making sense to me. I knew exactly how I could take care of the baby, without making it known that it was mine. Besides, I'm not ready for the responsibility of taking care of a child. I'll leave her to Weasley, even though he might be poor as a dime.
I stared longingly at the now sleeping baby and carressed her cheek softly once more. Without thinking, I picked her up gently, making sure I wouldn't wake her up. It sniffed quietly, and I panicked for a moment. It opened it's mouth and for a minute I thought it was going to cry. Instead, it yawned. Whew. I held it up in front of me, holding it beneath the arm pits. It looked beautiful. Just like her Mommy and Daddy. Now, I think felt like the right time, to say something to her.
"Mommy's not with you right now... but, she's watching over you all the time. And remember, so is your daddy." The baby yawned slightly. I plastered a tiny smile on my face. "You're a part of Mommy, always," I whispered to her. I brought her up to me, and kissed the baby lightly on the forehead, and put her back down to sleep. I stared at her one last time, walking in front of the crib. "Remember me," I whisperd once more. I looked down, and I saw that the word "UNNAMED" had been taped across the crib. The baby hadn't been named yet. Well, being the her rightful father, I think I can choose the name for myself.
Smirking, and feeling slightly better, even though Hermione was gone, I flicked my wand at the sign "UNNAMED" and walked away. That's better. Hermione would've loved that. I looked up while I strode out of the baby room and smiled to no one in particular. "For you, Granger," I whispered with a small smile to the sky, and I walked slightly less sadder then I was before, out of St. Mungo's.
--A FEW MINUTES LATER--
"There it is, mate. Your baby girl." Said Harry, looking through the glass window of the baby room. He patted Ron on the back, trying his best to cheer him up.
"Yeah... me and Hermione's little girl," he said weakly. His eyes were purple from crying so hard in the cafeteria. It had taken him a while to bring himself to look at his motherless baby. Good thing he had Harry's help. "She's beautiful." He sighed.
"I know. Let's go inside, and take an even closer look at her." He pushed his depressed friend on the back through the door and into the baby-filled room. Ron slumped his way over to his baby's crib, and took in a sharp breath. The sign across the crib was changed.
"Did you do that, Harry?" He asked, with his eyebrow raised.
"Do what?" Harry answered, looking to where Ron was now pointing at. The sign no longer read "UNNAMED." Instead, it had a name for the baby on it. "Oh. No, I didn't do that."
"Neither did I..." Said Ron.
"Hmm, that's sounds like a good name, though."
"Yeah... it does. Hermione would've loved it. Who do you suppose thought of this?"
"Dunno... but Helen Perdita Weasley is perfect for the girl."
"Yeah. It is." And silently, the two boys admired the new name of Draco and Hermione's baby girl. "Wait," Ron chimed in, "I don't have blue eyes..."
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The End.
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Authors Notes: AHHH. This is one of my favourite oneshots! Haha, yeah, i know i only have like two, but i've made a few and i just choose which ones i want to put up. hopefully it wasnt TOO rushed. and i hope i didn't use the wrong tenses. Agent08, my sister, kept on bugging me about that. GOSH. haha.
NOW READ THIS:
did you guys think that the baby's name was a little retarded? WELL, i'll tell you where it came from xD.
Helen (first name) - from Greek Mythology. Gave birth to a baby girl named Hermione with Menelaus. In this way, the baby was named after her Mother.
Perdita (middle name) - name of Queen Hermione's daughter in Shakespeare's "A Winter's Tale." This is where JK Rowling originally got the name of Hermione I think...
HAHA, im so smart xD. thinking of those names was SO FUN. haha SERIOUSLY. anyways... I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS FIC. gosh, almost NONE of you reviewed on JUST A SMILE. WELL, it's NOT TO LATE xD.
READ AND REVIEW! X5
PLEASE? HAHA THANKS GUYS xD
Yours always,
Sevengee/Lina
