Tea time!
"Do you ever drink tea?"
Jeremy asked in a philosophical tone
"Yeah. Why?"
"Because it's warm"
Jeremy nodded curtly
"So?"
"And it fills your body with the warmth you need"
"Uh huh"
"I bet you didn't know it's exactly like love"
"Huh?"
"It's warm on the inside but cold on the outside, unless you find the perfect match"
Jeremy flourished with a wink. Charlie Swan, run a hand across his face staring at his ex-wife's nephew who was sitting on the floor, in front of the coffee table, surrounded by an army of stuffed animals each presented by a miniature tea cup on it's miniature tea plate.
"Jeremy, son, are you feeling okay?"
The young adult raised his tophee eyes on his uncle and nodded casually.
"This is really good tea, do you want some?"
Before Charlie could respond there was no chance in hell he'd put whatever Jeremy was drinking in his mouth, his daughter Bella skipped into the living room and took a seat by the table, poured herself a cup of tea, refilled the cups of the stuffed animals - they had apparently run empty - and raised her cup to her lips for a hearty sip. Then she sighed contently and turned to look at her flabbergasted father standing n the doorway.
"Hiiiii daddy, want some tea?"
Charlie blinked.
"What are you wearing?"
Bella looked down at her cyclamen dress with the white apron. She looked normal enough. She looked at Jeremy with his top hat. Then she looked back at Charlie
"Clothes"
And she sipped her tea again, her pinky finger firmly extended as it was the proper way to hold the tea cup. Bored with waiting for his uncle to reply, Jeremy also went back to drinking his tea and making idle conversation with the stuffed animals.
Thankfully no stuffed animal replied. Jeremy however clapped the stuffed tortoise on the shoulder and laughed along with something only he could hear
Charlie ran a finger between his throat and the collar of his crisp white uniform shirt and looked around. Through the alcove that led to the kitchen he could see a large potted plant sitting on the counter.
"Well that explains it"
He thought to himself. The plant had no leaves left and it's branches were pathetically bare
With two short strides Charlie was by Jeremy's side, crouched to the 21 year old's form. Jeremy's eyes were glassy.
"Did you make the tea with the leaves from the pant in the kitchen?"
He asked the boy. Jeremy nodded, his head popping up and down like a piston
"Duh"
Charlie clapped his mouth shut, glad for his bushy mustache that hid his curling to a smile lips.
"Daddy, I thought getting high was supposed to be fun. When does the fun start?"
Charlie turned to look at Bella, her eyes weren't as glassy as Jeremy's but she was definitely high as a kite.
"Never. Why is he worse than you?"
Bella extended one hand reaching across the table. Jeremy's eyes crossed as the looooong finger reached to touch the tip of his nose
"Former drug addict"
Bella explained before pressing Jeremy's button nose. Jeremy gave a 'beeep' sound, fell backwards, curled to a fetal position, popped his right thumb in his mouth and began snoring immediately.
"Huh, I had forgotten that"
The only sound in the room was Jeremy's trombone like snoring as Bella had also curled in a ball sleeping with the white rabbit clutched possessively in her chest.
Charlie sighed and grabbed the tea kettle heading to the kitchen admonishing himself.
"Never ever bring evidence at home during finals"
He looked at the miniscule amount of dark green tea sitting innocently at the bottom of the kettle.
"Oh screw it"
Tipping his head back he drank the last, most potent, sip of tea. Almost immediately the room shifted in and out of focus. The cordless bright yellow phone receiver on top of the fridge called to the man's attention
"Hmm have I told Sue that I love her recently? We are meant to be together now that Harry's body is cold in his grave"
Reaching for the phone, his fingers stubbed the wrong numbers as he called a non existing number
"I love you"
He said clearly and proudly to the voice of the phone company lady that told him the number he was dialing does not exist and then he hung up
"Getting high: definitely not what it's cracked out to be. I don't feel any different"
he shrugged out of his sheriff uniform and let it fall to the floor as he put his head on top of his crossed arms on the counter and fell asleep immediately, his loud snoring completely drowning Jeremy's.
A/N: another installment in my "Jeremy Gilbert has a life" series. It's short, it's funny (or, well, it should be) and most of all it's a birthday gift to DeathDaisy for the big 1-7! She gave me the prompt "Tea" so if this was completely weird and insane... hmm, my own tea tastes funny...
The end
