Return of the Empire

A New Life in the Galaxy

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far oh forget it, just get on with to damn story!

The galaxy is in peace. The time of Luke Skywalker, Hon Solo, Princess Laya etc. is over. Darth Vader is gone and everyone is happy. Well, until the fricken Empire came back! I'm getting too far ahead of myself, let me start off at the beginning.

"Mike, Mike! Get you ass in here! Suppers ready." It was about 5:30 pm. The Wilson family was getting ready for dinner. Mike just finished his chores.

Mike is about eighteen years old who lives on a farm somewhere in Naboo. He has blonde hair, blue eyes, and a white smile. He's everything I wish I were, handsome. Anyway, that's Mike Wilson.

"Coming!" Mike ran into the house. His mom and dad were sitting at the table. His dad is a retired Jedi with no sense of humor. Damn him to Hell. He is thirty-five years old.

His mother is thirty-one years old and is a waitress at Hooters, that's right, Hooters. Wait, thirty-one with an eighteen-year-old, what was she doing?

"It's about time! Sit down and eat!" Commanded Mike's father, Bill. "Honey get R2, I need to check my mail."

The Wilson's have a droid. His name is R2D12345678910. You see, after R2D2, many more R2 droids were made. R2D2 was so popular, he made his own rap group, D-Unit. What a sorry son of a oops, sorry.

"Yes honey, I'll get him." Replied Mike's mother. "R2!" "Beep bob boob bop beep?" Which means: "What the hell do you want?" "R2, show me my mail." Replied Bill. R2 showed a hologram reveling one piece of mail. "Open it R2." R2 opened it and a woman showed up. "Help me Bill Wilson, you're my only hope."

Deja vu.

Invasion of Naboo

The message was clear. The Empire had returned, and they had allies, the Nazis. Bill was called away to help defend Naboo, for the Empire and the Nazis were going to make a strike. Bill was to fight as a Jedi. Mike wanted to help, so he signed up as a Rebel soldier.

"Come on Mike, get your speed bike and let's go!" Bill and Mike were getting ready to leave. Bill had his light saber, while Mike had a blaster rifle.

"Yo Mike, wait!" It was Jeff, Mike's best friend. "Jeff, what are you doing here?" asked Mike. "I'm going to fight. So are Paul, Josh and Bob. Looks like you are too." Paul, Josh and Bob were identical triplets.

"Cool, want to come with me and dad?" asked Mike. "Sure."

All three of them zoomed off. They were approaching the Great Plains of Naboo where the battle was going to take place. "What a Hell hole." Said Bill, with his "I wish I wasn't here instead at home with a beer" look on his face.

"Good day Bill Wilson, and company. I am General Dumbass." "Excuse me?" asked Jeff. "I said my name is General Duelmass." "Oh."

The General led them to a bunker by the edge of the woods. There were trenches and Rebel soldiers everywhere.

"You will be stationed here. said the General. Please take a seat, for the moment you have." Jeff and Mike sat down, Bill stayed standing, a serious look on his face.

"Jeff, Mike!" It was Paul, Josh and Bob. "Yo, awesome to see you guys here. Did you know we're in the same squad?" Paul talks a lot. If Bill ever got annoyed with him, he would say "Shut up, dumbass !" and Paul always listened.

"Paul, Josh, Bob, good to see you guys. And no, we didn't know."

"Here they come!" All was quiet, except for the sound of aircrafts. The enemy ships were landing. As they landed, stormtroopers marched out. Nazi soldiers also marched out, guns mounted on their left soldier, their right arms pointed diagonally towards the sky.

"Squadrons, to the trenches, guns at the ready!" Everyone ran into the trenches, pointing their guns at the enemy. Mike was surprised to see the Empire didn't have any assault vehicles. He had heard that the Empire used them during the war in the past.

"Jedi, arms at the ready!" The Jedi drew their lightsabers. "This is so cool!" Exclaimed Jeff, excitement in his eyes. "Dammit Jeff, we're heavily out numbered!" Replied Mike.

"Look out, grenade!" Everyone scrambled as an explosion filled the trench. The Nazis and stormtroopers were charging with bayonets on their guns.

"FIRE!" Mike fired his gun. He saw many Nazis and stormtroopers fall. "Out of the trenches! Charge!" Mike saw everyone jump out and charge the enemy. He saw lasers fly, people shooting, and allies falling.

Mike finally jumped out of the trench and charged, shooting as her ran. Stormtroopers fell as he fired. He found grenades and through them. He saw Jedi and Rebel soldiers falling. He heard an explosion, and all went black.

Recovery

Mike awoke in a hospital by the frontlines. He saw Paul, Josh, Bob, Jeff and his father. "Uh dad, what happened?" Asked Mike. "You were hit by a grenade explosion." Replied Bill. "Yeah dude, it was bad." Said Josh. "Any news from mom?" Asked Mike again, this time aching as he said it. "The house was bombed by Empire and Nazi forces." Replied Bill, a blank expression on his face. "Those bastards! Damn them!" Said Bob.

"Mike, as soon as you're better, we're going to send you to Echo Base 2, our final stand." It was the General. "Yes sir!" Replied Mike, still aching.

"So, how did the battle go?" Asked Mike. "Naboo is almost completely occupied, but we might have enough forces to draw the enemy back." Said Jeff. "Cool." Replied Mike.

Mike thought for a moment, and he was determined. "I say we go now." Said Mike, very confident. "But Mike, you're in no condition to fight!" Replied Josh. "Hell with that! I'm fine. Let's beat the shit out of these guys!"

Final Stand

"Ten hut!" "Sir yes sir!" It was time for battle. The plan was set, the men were ready, the cookies were baked, oh yeah, they're ready.

"March!" The Rebels and Jedi marched through Echo Base 2. Echo Base 2 is way different than the first. It is sunny and is covered in fields, like Naboo. It is a wonderful place, except for an occasional Nazi corpse on the ground.

"Fire!" Mike shot as many stormtroopers and Nazis as he could see. Jedi were slashing with all their might. Mike looked over his soldier and saw an explosion take out four Rebel soldiers. "Shit!" He yelled as a grenade landed next to him. He ran as the explosion hit a Jedi.

"Hit them hard!" The Rebels began to drive back the enemy. The Empire stood no chance. All the Nazis were dead, and the coffee was done. The day was won.

Aftermath

So, here's the scoop. Naboo was taken back by the Rebels. Mike is now a Jedi warrior. His father is the head of GEICO. Jeff died of a mysterious chicken bite, while Paul, Josh and Bob own a casino called Box Woods. The galaxy is at peace again.

THE END