Spendin' Christmastime with my brother and boss,
All the oil we drank could cause memory loss.
See a red car in my sight, though it makes them disturbed,
I adjusted my optics and whistled at her.

It's a Red Car Christmas,
Tailpipes and chassis to boot.
It's a Red Car Christmas,
'Cause those cars, I just think they're so cute!

Instead of driving away, she started to come near,
She was creeping here slowly, as if there's something to fear.
I couldn't believe what my optics were telling me,
She looked like she was manufactured in 1903!

It's a Red Car Christmas
All of her years have gone behind.
It's a Red Car Christmas
I tried to run, but she didn't seem to mind.

By the time she calmed down, she started to flirt,

While I did my best to smile, frankly it hurt.
She chattered away about nothing at all,
When she finally stopped, it was hard to recall.

After that mishap, I struck her a deal,
If she ignores me, and doesn't stay on my heels.
I then pointed out my brother and boss,

It was only my gain, and only their loss!

It's a Red Car Christmas,
Every Sunday, she meets at the yard.
It's a Red Car Christmas,
They try to ignore her, but frankly, it's hard!

It's a Red Car Christmas,
That jalopy changed my views.
It's a Red Car Christmas
When they find out it's me, I'm screwed!