Chapter 1
A/N: This is a bit different style from the last fic, but here it goes! Fake Crash's P.O.V. I sure hope no one else did this plot… Oh yeah, this is a Disturbed song.
"Hell is still overburdened
I must stand and wait in line
I may never know for certain
It will be my time"
Sometimes I think my life has no point. Sometimes I just want to end it all. Then I remember I have promises to keep.
So far I've done a pretty good job breaking all of them. I've screwed everything up, and everyone hates me. Here I am with rocks tied to my feet, and my arms bound, sinking to the bottom of the sea. Sounds like just what I deserve.
I stare into the crushing wet blackness all around me, and I wonder if you're happy. You don't seem happy. That's why you decided to kill me, isn't it? I made a promise to protect you, but instead I neglected you and got wrapped up in myself. That's why you're so angry at me; at everyone. It's my fault. I'm sorry, Nina. Maybe I should have explained, but it's too late…I deserve to die.
Sheesh, listen to me, having my own private pity party! What am I, an emo cutter or something? When in the hell did I become so morbid? Oh yeah! I remember! I wonder if anyone would listen to what I have to say…I mean, I'm just a bandicoot! I can barely read. Oh well, this isn't reality or anything, so here goes nothing!
The first thing I ever knew was the sharp pressure that comes from the first breath of life. I was suddenly aware of my fur, my paws, my body, and my surroundings. I could smell, taste, see, and feel everything in the room. I must say, it was very weird. That wasn't even close to the repulsion I felt when the first thing I saw was an enormous yellow face gawking at me.
"Erm, hello. Can-you-understaaaaannnd meeeee?" the yellow man asked.
I opened my mouth, and attempted to form words, but there was something inconvenient in the way; something big and clumsy.
"Oh no! His teeth are huge, and so are his eyebrows!" The yellow guy was obviously unhappy. Huh, as if it was my fault!
A lanky, long-faced man came into view. He had bolts in his head and large, paranoid eyes. "Dr. Cortex? D-does this bandicoot d-displease you?" He flinched when Cortex turned back toward him.
"Well, he's not so good looking, but I guess it'll do for a first try." Cortex sighed.
"It's just, well, I'm using him to lead my entire mutant army. I want to make a good first impression, you know?" He turned back to me, and pressed a button. Finally, I could move my arms and legs.
"Me? Lead an army? Well, I kinda think of myself as an actor. Or maybe a talk show host. That's cuz of my real awesome thocial thkills." I grinned, trying to make light of the situation, since I'm the life of the party.
"Uhwha? Thoshall what?" Cortex looked at me like I just swallowed a can of gasoline.
"He uh, h-has a bit of a s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s" The paranoid man's large brow furrowed with effort.
"Out with it man!"
"S-s-s-speech problem." The stuttering scientist sighed with relief.
"Speech problem? Greeeeaaat. Okay, Brio. Let's get this guy some training. Take the bandicoot to the fitness wing, and don't bring him back until he's in the best shape of his life." Cortex looked like he needed a drink.
Brio led me to the fitness wing, where I underwent serious physical torture at the hands of some lab assistants. We're talking fifteen push-ups and sit-ups here! Fortunately, I wasn't doomed to be a twig-armed weenie forever. Each day I was able to do more, and eventually they taught me some fighting moves. There was this one spinning move I learned, that only a lithe, athletic bandicoot such as myself could pull off. Good thing there aren't any others running around. That was my thought at the time, anyway.
Dr. Cortex came around every once in a while to check up on me. Sometimes he even took me to his office to explain his fantasy for world domination, but he quickly ended that after I accidentally took his hovercraft for a joyride. I ended up crashing it into a beached whale. Ah, how happy I was back then!
When Brio heard about it, he started calling me Crash. Crash Bandicoot. It had a nice ring to it. That is, until somebody else stole it.
A few months later, Cortex started to act really happy. I didn't see anything to be happy about. That blue kangaroo thing he made seemed to have an overcharged battery in his brain, and the koala was as dumb as a sack of hammers. The gangster rat had his own ideas about how things should be run, and that bandicoot chick was just a walking pair of watermelons. I guessed he finally found some whiskey.
One day I was driving a go-cart down the hallway when I overheard Brio and Cortex having a hushed conversation in the conference room. I put my large ear against the door.
"B-but Cortex, how is an-n-nother bandicoot going to help?"
"I told you, this bandicoot is better! He actually knows how to shut up, and he's much more handsome!"
"L-l-looks aren't everything, Dr. C-cortex."
"This bandicoot is just better. I can feel it; he's the chosen one who will lead us to victory!"
"*Sigh* I g-guess I c-can't change your mind. W-what are we going to tell C-Crash? Y-you haven't even given him a ch-ch-chance."
"Ugh! Alright. We'll put the two bandicoots against one another, in a fight to the death. Then we'll see which is stronger; yours or mine."
"I d-don't want to make this a y-you versus me!"
"Just ask Crash to come to the battle arena, and we'll settle this once and for all."
I got back in the go-cart and sped away as fast as I could. How could there be another me? More importantly, how in the hell was I expected to kill myself? I suddenly didn't feel so confident in my own abilities.
"Hey, where'ya goin' in such a hurry, Crash?" I skidded to a halt in front of Tawna.
I blushed furiously, trying to keep my eyes on the ground. It was difficult. "If you must know, I'm leaving the cathle and living in the wild." I improvised. Hey, it seemed like a good idea.
"Aww, you can't leave! I'll be so lonely without you." Tawna leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. I started to get some confidence back.
"Uh, you're right, Tawna! I can't jutht run away from my problems. I've gotta face 'em head on! I'm gonna prove that I'm the thtrongest. I'm going to fight for my plathe in line!" I put the car in ultra reverse and made my way to the battle arena, where some monstrous specimen of my steroid-eating double would be waiting for me.
A/N: Did I mention the chapters were going to be long? This is going to be one of the most important stories of my fanfiction career. I'm going to cram all I can into the next two days since the frightening image of school is looming right in front of me.
